I heard you and Captain America were having some relationship problems.
August 28, 2016 10:23 AM   Subscribe

What was Thor up to during the Captain America: Civil War slap-fight between Thor's earthly comrades? "I guess I'm just taking a break." Starring Thor, Thor's roommate, Mjolnir, and a special Avenger guest. (alternate video link)

This return of the Marvel One-Shots was directed by Taika Waititi, at some point when he wasn't busy directing Thor: Ragnarok.
posted by nicebookrack (66 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
 
At some point Thor returns to Earth all "oh hey where are my human friends!?" And it's just Wanda and Vision looking seriously confused.
posted by The Whelk at 10:26 AM on August 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


I had been for Taika Waititi's humor spliced with Marvel superheroes, now I'm REALLY excited for Taika Waititi's humor spliced with Marvel superheroes.
posted by retrograde at 10:36 AM on August 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


The most impressive thing about CA:CW is that it is allegedly very difficult to find a decent copy on any torrent service.

Seriously, what's up with that?
posted by lalochezia at 10:45 AM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


That was great. When's the Hulk movie come out?
posted by From Bklyn at 10:46 AM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


retrograde, are you serious??? How did I not know he was signed on to do the next Thor flick.

What We Do in the Shadows was so good.

I might just have to watch a big crappy Hollywood movie for once...
posted by deadaluspark at 10:47 AM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


The most impressive thing about CA:CW is that it is allegedly very difficult to find a decent copy on any torrent service.

IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME METHOD OF WATCHING A FILM THAT INVOLVED NOT TORRENTING IT.

Why doesn't Marvel take a couple characters and make a non-fighty superhero movie about the trials and tribulations of cape-wearers living among a bunch of normies? It would be so deliriously satisfying and fun, and it'd cost them about a sixth what one of their usual movies does and it'd make so much money.
posted by incessant at 10:56 AM on August 28, 2016 [17 favorites]


Please please please let this be the tone of the whole movie. I mean, I get that the destruction of Asgard can't all be a lark, but...

Also, I hope that Darryl is actually in the movie.
posted by ejs at 11:06 AM on August 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


Not only is Taika Waititi directing Thor Ragnarok, he's made hiring Indigenous Australian crew members a priority, because he is funny and a mensch.

The Thor movies have been my favorites for humor, so I am more excited than ever now for November 2017. It's always pleasant to be reminded of Chris Hemsworth's amazing comedic timing. He can be deadpan and over-the-top at the same time!
posted by nicebookrack at 11:09 AM on August 28, 2016 [23 favorites]


Why doesn't Marvel take a couple characters and make a non-fighty superhero movie about the trials and tribulations of cape-wearers living among a bunch of normies? It would be so deliriously satisfying and fun, and it'd cost them about a sixth what one of their usual movies does and it'd make so much money.
That's a very roundabout way of saying "Please, Marvel, make us a Hawkeye movie"
posted by billjings at 11:11 AM on August 28, 2016 [29 favorites]


Also if people aren't reading HELLCAT! Please do. It's the inclusive all ages cape book you always wanted and it takes like a full 30 pages before a straight man speaks it's glorious
posted by The Whelk at 11:42 AM on August 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


You mean She-Hulk Movie
posted by bq at 11:44 AM on August 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


Marvel is having a quiet inclusive all-ages-friendly comedy comics REVOLUTION right now and I am holding tight to this shining moment in comicdom because nothing gold can stay.
posted by nicebookrack at 11:55 AM on August 28, 2016 [14 favorites]


I want to see Natalie Portman's Jane Foster take up the Hammer and play out the current comic storyline.
posted by humanfont at 12:06 PM on August 28, 2016 [10 favorites]


Hemsworth is pretty naturally comedic, isn't he? He's a bit wasted in action roles.
posted by Artw at 12:11 PM on August 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


That was great. When's the Hulk movie come out?

I imagine this tune Playing as the answer to this question.
posted by Artw at 12:14 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


The fish-out-of-water humor in Team Thor's mockumentary style echoes Waititi's hilarious previous film, What We Do in the Shadows. (Superheroes can be just as awkward flatmates as vampires, of course.)
posted by Doktor Zed at 12:17 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


The What We Do In Shadows sequel has a great title .
posted by Artw at 12:20 PM on August 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Natalie Portman says ""AFAIK I'm done" with Thor, which breaks my fucking heart because Jane & Darcy are the oddball comedy duo of my dreams and I never even got to see Jane science-babble at Tony Stark. Let alone Jane FosThor. MY HEART IS BROKEN.

But Portman does seem open to the idea of coming back, so here go my prayers toward Jane popping out of thin air in Infinity War and spiking Mjolnir like a volleyball into Thanos's face.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:20 PM on August 28, 2016 [14 favorites]


But obviously the reason that Jane dumped Thor between movies is that Thor is now a clingy, aimless slacker who leaves weird food festering in corners and refuses to get a phone and won't put Mjolnir outside the room during sex and doesn't clean up after his feasts and lets ravens crap all over the patio and won't either go patrol the cosmos or get a real job and god, Jane, I'd dump him too.

They're an on/off relationship; once he's gotten himself back into a better headspace by defeating a few more world-conquerors, Jane will take him back (if he refrains from interfering with important SCIENCE).
posted by nicebookrack at 12:31 PM on August 28, 2016 [14 favorites]


I can't believe we've been denied a scene where Jane chews Tony out for unsafe and illegal lab practices
posted by The Whelk at 12:38 PM on August 28, 2016 [25 favorites]


I could see a total lab feud with Banner siding with Jane and Darcy going over to the Dark Side with Tony. With a cameo of Thor shaking his head at primitive Midgard science.
posted by Ber at 12:43 PM on August 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Yeah, the lack of Jane and Darcy interacting with other members of the Avengers and their sidekicks is almost criminal . I don't know what happened, whether it was Portman or the Marvel limiting her role, but it's maddening that energy was brought to other films or even, dare to dream, tv.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:58 PM on August 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


Guys - Natalie Portman was terrrrrrrible in the Thor movies. Slept walked through everything. All that Jane and Darcy meets the Avengers fun you're looking for? It's really DARCY meets the Avengers fun. Natalie Portman I could do without, but having a comedic Thor movie without Kat Dennings is a sin.
posted by thecjm at 1:17 PM on August 28, 2016 [18 favorites]


Why hasn't Darcy ever guested on Agents of SHIELD? Can you imagine her hanging out with Fitz-Simmons?
posted by tobascodagama at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


(Sif showed up a couple of times, but she was kinda wasted on that show.)
posted by tobascodagama at 1:31 PM on August 28, 2016


*sensible chuckle*
posted by Fizz at 3:30 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


look Marvel my pitch about the PR Team devoted to the Avengers is still viable.


Also someone on Twitter said they wanted Selena Mayer to be the president in thr marvel universe and I've been thinking about a MCU/VEEP crossover all day
posted by The Whelk at 4:09 PM on August 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


Hemsworth really should do more comedy--he's a natural!
posted by orrnyereg at 5:28 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Why hasn't Darcy ever guested on Agents of SHIELD? Can you imagine her hanging out with Fitz-Simmons?

Darcy has guest-starred in so many Avengers fanfics that I forgot she's never been on screen with them.

My headcanon is that Phil hired her as his assistant at some point, mostly because she's got mad science-wrangler skills and she can out-babble Tony.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:29 PM on August 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Thor and Daryl bond as flatmates!

If the writers wanted to be really evil, they could put Daryl in the actual movie as Bill in the "Bill & Kelda" storyline from Straczynski's run on Thor. Buuuut there's probably not enough time to build up a minor character that much (and then squash them) in one movie.

Someone write me that Daryl and Kelda fanfic, STAT!
posted by nicebookrack at 5:37 PM on August 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Additional JMS Thor thinking: post-Ragnarok, Asgard gets parked over Australia!

Thor: "They're so friendly here, and they're scarcely using that flat bit of land in the middle!"
posted by nicebookrack at 5:40 PM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I seriously did not appreciate Hemsworth much as an actor until Ghostbusters, and this confirms that he just needs the right material in front of him. I'd previously mostly liked the Thor movies for the Loki stuff and the Darcy stuff, but I don't think I've been appreciating his contributions enough. Sometimes things are improved by having a straight man. (There's one sentence I'm not going to say too often!)
posted by Sequence at 5:50 PM on August 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm seeing a comedy ensemble. Thor, his roommate Daryl, Thor's friend Bruce - he's got anger issues, Bruce's friend Natasha - it's complicated, Darcy, Thor's brother Loki - he's all kinds of jealous about Bruce, Valkyrie (still played by Tessa Thompson) as Thor's potential romantic interest, and their landlord Heimdall, who hears and sees far too much.
posted by Ber at 6:29 PM on August 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


retrograde: "I had been for Taika Waititi's humor spliced with Marvel superheroes, now I'm REALLY excited for Taika Waititi's humor spliced with Marvel superheroes."

I was ready to give the next Thor film a pass but I did love What We Do in the Shadows. The first two Thor pictures are way down on my list of MCU films.
posted by octothorpe at 6:52 PM on August 28, 2016


Also featuring Karl Urban as Skurge.
posted by Artw at 6:56 PM on August 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


Does this count as MCU canon? I want it to count as MCU canon. This was delightful.

Why doesn't Marvel take a couple characters and make a non-fighty superhero movie about the trials and tribulations of cape-wearers living among a bunch of normies? It would be so deliriously satisfying and fun, and it'd cost them about a sixth what one of their usual movies does and it'd make so much money.

God, I want this so bad, and I know Marvel will never, ever do it. Specifically, I want this one (Winterfalcon or All Caps romance optional, but dream big, right?). I know Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan would be down for this! Let them make the full of banter ridiculous road trip movie of their, and our, dreams!
posted by yasaman at 7:12 PM on August 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'm hoping Infinty War hinges on Thor figuring out Big Purple Guy.
posted by Artw at 7:22 PM on August 28, 2016


Now they need to bring back Loki's Daycare.
posted by orrnyereg at 7:29 PM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also featuring Karl Urban as Skurge.

I know that Urban has been in about a zillion things but I know him mostly as nu-Bones McCoy and in his brief bit as the brother of one of the very few female characters in LotR. Nonetheless, I could see him nailing the shit out of the stand at Gjallerbru scene.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:37 PM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I hope they do, well, you know.
posted by Artw at 8:42 PM on August 28, 2016


"Send a raven..." LOL. That guy's got talent. Excellent comedic talent.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 8:56 PM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I never wear cutoffs; why do I keep waking up in cutoffs?" Oh Bruce, you're the best Avenger. Not Hulk, just Bruce.

Karl Urban should not get summarily killed off like every Marvel villain because he needs to be in every movie, please. I first loved Urban for, and will never let him live down, his role as bleached-blond Cupid with terrible foam wings in Xena/Hercules. (Cupid and Aphrodite were legitimately entertaining despite the costumes, I will fight you on this.)
posted by nicebookrack at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


'Hunt for the Wilderpeople' and 'Boy' are two other films directed by Taika Waititi and are well worth seeking out.
posted by h00py at 4:07 AM on August 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Thor was being kind of a dick to Daryl. Team Daryl.
posted by dry white toast at 5:23 AM on August 29, 2016


Thor is usually kind of dick, that's part of his charm.

It's why I like him. He's been worshipped as a god and has incredible power, so it's not surprising that has a chip on his shoulder. But it's ok because he's played for laughs in the movies and he's on the good side, so.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:36 AM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Good time to revisit my favorite scene from the first movie:

Thor: [walking into a pet shop] I need a horse!
Pet Store Clerk: We don't have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds.
Thor: Then give me one of those large enough to ride.
posted by ejs at 7:13 AM on August 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


Thor is usually kind of dick, that's part of his charm.

Which is also what made the Thorcules arc of Incredible Hercules such a joy.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:08 AM on August 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


I want an Incredible Hercules movie. Where the HELL is Amadeus Cho, btw? ( Jane/Darcy/Amadeus v. Everyone? )
posted by mikelieman at 8:36 AM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


You mean She-Hulk Movie

starring Aisha Tyler.
posted by haileris23 at 9:07 AM on August 29, 2016 [7 favorites]


I was somewhat disturbed by Thor's assertion that Cap had killed prisoners at some unspecified point in the past. Then again, they've only fought alien bug-drones and killer robots together in the MCU, so maybe it's not as bad as it sounds.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:37 AM on August 29, 2016


It does sound odd because the Marvel movies are careful about actually acknowledging that the Avengers kill people. Thor putting a pin in that is pretty funny and very fitting for the character.

"What, we all love the glory of battle and beating our enemies to a pulp!"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:47 AM on August 29, 2016


I hope there is a sequel about the making of the conspiracy clue board. I bet he spent longer on Cool Mjolnir holding a tiny Thor than on any of the other sections.

(I also would very much like for the clue board to be featured in the next Avengers movie, perhaps by breaking the case WIDE OPEN.)

Also, his simmering jealousy that the kids know about Vision was PERFECT.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 1:14 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Vision has kids who know his name and he can use Mjolnir and he can write emails and he has mysterious sparkly magic and he can fly and he has a cape and he was in Captain America's new Avengers and Tony Stark calls Vision back, Tony Stark returns Vision's emails, Tony Stark lets Vision live in his house and blow holes in his floor and touch his magic inventions.

Screw that Vision guy.
posted by nicebookrack at 2:27 PM on August 29, 2016 [4 favorites]


I was somewhat disturbed by Thor's assertion that Cap had killed prisoners at some unspecified point in the past. Then again, they've only fought alien bug-drones and killer robots together in the MCU, so maybe it's not as bad as it sounds.

I was pretty sure the joke there was that Thor was making up some embarrassing "secret" about Steve Rodgers to tease him and then dictating an e-mail about it out loud in a room full of people and asking "Are there any other secrets you want kept?"

Thor's razor: if you're not sure if he's being stupid or being a dick, he's probably being a dick.
posted by straight at 3:41 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


I was ready to give the next Thor film a pass but I did love What We Do in the Shadows. The first two Thor pictures are way down on my list of MCU films.

I'm always bewildered when people say this because I think the two Thor movies are the most fun out of all the MCU movies. The only MCU film with a villain as interesting as Loki was the first Avengers movie.
posted by straight at 3:49 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


There's no villainy in any of the other movies nearly as good as the way Loki's real plan in the first Thor turns out to be simultaneously less traitorous yet more evil (and contains more lies, of course) than you thought.
posted by straight at 3:57 PM on August 29, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dark World felt very paint-by-numbers to me, but the first Thor was a brilliant breath of fresh air.
posted by tobascodagama at 4:25 PM on August 29, 2016


Why would Thor be jealous of Vision? He's the one who bought Vision to life, which makes him Vision's father. He should be proud of his sons achievements.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 4:56 PM on August 29, 2016


He probably just thinks what everyone things, that Vision is a bit shit.
posted by Artw at 5:36 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Vision has two daddies, Thor AND Tony.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:22 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


Vision has two daddies, Thor AND Tony.

Are you counting Ultron as Vision's mommy then?
posted by straight at 6:42 PM on August 29, 2016


If asexually-reproducing organisms count as "Mommies", then absolutely yes.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 10:06 PM on August 29, 2016


Shouldn't Dr. Helen Cho also be his mommy? She built the Cradle, after all. Pretty solid maternal imagery there.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 6:09 AM on August 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


Isn't Bruce another daddy?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 AM on August 30, 2016


Yeah, but you wouldn't want to point it out to him to his face. The whole fatherhood thing is kind of a sore spot.
posted by radwolf76 at 12:23 PM on August 30, 2016


It takes a village to birth a Vision.
posted by nicebookrack at 12:36 PM on August 30, 2016 [2 favorites]


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