Current Condition
September 12, 2016 9:56 PM   Subscribe

Current Condition provides soothing vaporwave, folk music, and weather updates to smooth out your workday.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants (60 comments total) 77 users marked this as a favorite
 
Oh my god, this is amazing. Thank you so much for posting this!
posted by isauteikisa at 10:01 PM on September 12, 2016


Neat!
posted by clockzero at 10:05 PM on September 12, 2016


Awesome thanks!
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:05 PM on September 12, 2016


This website and my Chromecast are now in love and are going to get married.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:06 PM on September 12, 2016 [8 favorites]


This...thinks I'm on a different continent and gives me temperatures in F? It could have been so good.
posted by Jimbob at 10:11 PM on September 12, 2016


Reminiscent of my childhood
posted by not_on_display at 10:13 PM on September 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


I didn't think the weather was actually meant to be accurate - it just seemed like low-level background visuals to me.
It's one of the few streaming sites not blocked by my work's filter, which is handy.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:14 PM on September 12, 2016


Oh, I love this so. Thank you.
posted by naju at 11:07 PM on September 12, 2016


vaporwave seems like it's hitting its post-ironic normie adult phase the last few months
posted by p3on at 11:14 PM on September 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yeah I discovered it years after everyone else did, and I suspect it's only a matter of time before we get a huge mainstream vaporwave hit, like Stranger Things did with synthwave.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 11:26 PM on September 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is cool and I'm transported back to a Michigan Bell switching station, 1977. I swear they had the same music.
posted by clavdivs at 11:44 PM on September 12, 2016


Really wanted it to tell me my current altitude, airspeed (in knots), and distance to destination. Left disappointed.

(but really I love this - thanks for posting - one of my coworkers knows the magic to "manipulate" the office elevator infotainment screens.....hmmmm...tomorrow could be interesting)
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:19 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


It is hypno-sleek. The lettering is old school I think and it uses NWS enhanced radar image loop. Like a stripped NHK feed with neo-Pop synth piping on an old monitor from "when the letters were green" era with revamped skin streaming like a Blade Runner Hsai/sskad port-com, the kind Tyrell had in this semi-bunkered youth.


I feel better. This is ridiculously just-let-it play.
posted by clavdivs at 12:50 AM on September 13, 2016


Man it just pings me as New York when I live in Indiana. It makes me wish for an actual "Weather Channel circa 1996" website.
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 1:14 AM on September 13, 2016 [7 favorites]


This + Chrome Audiocast = something for the giant TV we got for a systems monitoring dashboard but which no one has done anything with yet. Thanks!
posted by cilantro at 2:35 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


One of my childhood friends' mom was obsessed with the weather, and The Weather Channel was on a small TV in the kitchen 24/7. This takes me back.
posted by Fig at 3:04 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


It thinks I'm in NYC. I'm about as far from NYC as you can get.

But I may listen to the music as I try to doze off tonight.
posted by Diag at 3:33 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


My elderly mother just spent a few days visiting an even older friend, and one of my Mom's complaints about the visit was that her friend would turn on the weather channel and JUST LEAVE IT ON ALL DAY.

So my reactions to Current Condition are:
1 - shudder.
2 - there's probably a big fat unironic market for this. Slip in ads for reverse mortgages, stairlifts and incontinence garments by mail, and ...profit.
posted by Artful Codger at 4:25 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Weather and similar regional content definitely works if you switch geolocation on. Seems to be much less "real" content for my neck of the woods (UK) so I got more of the doubletake original stuff about flowers, spiders and "boarders" which works better when mixed in. I switched geolocation back off and went back to NY.

Excellent site regardless!
posted by comealongpole at 4:30 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I read the post as "folk weather" and was trying to imagine what that would look like.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:14 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


read the post as "folk weather" and was trying to imagine what that would look like.

"The fuzzy bear caterpillars are extra thick right now, so look ahead to a cold winter. Most of the cows in Farmer Brown's meadow are sitting, so 65% chance of showers before noon. The blood moon is coming, so remember to lash up the womenfolk before they turn into succubi and eat your souls at midnight."
posted by briank at 5:33 AM on September 13, 2016 [15 favorites]


This is pretty cool but it too thinks I'm in NYC. Does it think everyone is in NYC? Is Vaporwave the new NY state of mind?
posted by dis_integration at 5:58 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Great idea, but I don't like folk. It'd be neat if you could customize it.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:08 AM on September 13, 2016


It showed me a "panda cam" for a second!
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:12 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Lonnie Liston Smith from 1974 is "Vapourwave"?

Also, it seems to think I'm in a city 500 miles away. Ah:

It thinks I'm in NYC. . . .

it too thinks I'm in NYC. Does it think everyone is in NYC?


Perhaps US + ET + NYC. Bah!
 
posted by Herodios at 6:17 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


It has my location correctly (Seattle) and the weather forecast is accurate.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:31 AM on September 13, 2016


"The fuzzy bear caterpillars are extra thick right now, so look ahead to a cold winter. Most of the cows in Farmer Brown's meadow are sitting, so 65% chance of showers before noon. The blood moon is coming, so remember to lash up the womenfolk before they turn into succubi and eat your souls at midnight."

Metafilter's own Chris Kimball, everyone!
posted by leotrotsky at 6:42 AM on September 13, 2016


Lonnie Liston Smith from 1974 is "Vapourwave"?

Are you referring to this?

Vaporwave is a style of remix which was born out of memetic Internet culture. It's been covered fairly extensively on MetaFilter, and is several years old at this point. We can probably skip the "but that's not real music! sampling is just ripping people off!" conversation that's been going on since the 80s.

The weather maps, air traffic maps, webcams, etc. are pulled in from third-party providers via iframe, and should be live and accurate. Nice touch.

There isn't much variety, though – I've seen the same factoids and webcams a few times now.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:42 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Great idea, but I don't like folk.

You don't gotta watch it with nobody!
posted by leotrotsky at 6:43 AM on September 13, 2016 [12 favorites]


This morning's discovery is that babies really like vaporwave. Thanks, great find!
posted by phooky at 7:06 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


...turn on the weather channel and JUST LEAVE IT ON ALL DAY.

local McDonalds, refurbished and modern to appeal to the snake people, has the weather channel on all day on their big TVs. So, it's elderly people and various transients and BIG STORM, WATCH THIS TORNADO DESTROY THIS SMALL CHILD, WHEN WEATHER ATTACKS....
posted by ennui.bz at 7:11 AM on September 13, 2016


Put me in NY in Chrome but in Firefox, it at least prompted me asking if I wanted to share my location, and then it provided the correct location information. Not sure why it's not prompting for my location in Chrome.
posted by Seboshin at 7:21 AM on September 13, 2016


like Stranger Things did with synthwave.

Drive was pretty much what pushed Synthwave into the mainstream. Stranger Things might be the flavour of the moment, but they're late to that party.
posted by lmfsilva at 7:54 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'll tell you what, combine this with a few concealed comments about human sacrifice to the old ones and the rise of he who shall not be named from his slumber beneath the waves and I would be watching this nonstop.
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:07 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Are you referring to this ?

Depends on what it is. I'm not going to click on a blind link just to let you yell at me some more for things I didn't say.

Vaporwave is a style of remix . . . memetic . . . sampling . . . skip the "but that's not real music! sampling is just ripping people off!" conversation . . .

When I posted, the site was playing a track from a Lonnie Liston Smith jazz album from the early 1970s. There wasn't any remixing, memetics, sampling, or nostalgia for 1990's culture. No folk, either. Just jazz.
 
posted by Herodios at 8:10 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I believe the vapourwave descriptor applies to the site's aesthetic as a whole, not just the music it plays.

Put me in NY in Chrome but in Firefox, it at least prompted me asking if I wanted to share my location, and then it provided the correct location information. Not sure why it's not prompting for my location in Chrome.

Same issue here. If anybody knows a trick to get the site to prompt Chrome for the location permission, I'd love to hear about it.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:15 AM on September 13, 2016


This reminds me of the pay-per-view listings on my childhood cable provider (Adelphia) when I was a kid. The only difference is no trailers for crappy movies and no AM-quality library buyout music looping.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:15 AM on September 13, 2016


Oh, and widescreen vs 4x3.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:15 AM on September 13, 2016


So is there any background info on this site, CharleM?

Who put it up, why, how they select secondary sites to frame in, what information they're gathering from visitors, future plans, what else they've done?

Where'dya geddit?


Welcome back, BTW.
posted by Herodios at 8:17 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


It even works well on Android. The music plays in the background, and it handles landscape mode nicely.

Finally, Æ S ÞE T I C in my pocket. The retro future is here.
posted by jonnay at 8:18 AM on September 13, 2016


So, I thought I figured out the Chrome thing, but I think I'm missing a key part.

Just to the left of the URL is a little circle-i icon. Clicking on it drops down a list of permissions for the site. From there, you can select the Location permission (which was originally set to "Ask by default" for me) and change it to "Always allow on this site". Then reload.

But after doing that, it still thinks I'm in New York.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:26 AM on September 13, 2016


This is awesome!

Chrome no longer allows geolocation unless the website is SSL. Which, sadly, this site does not support. I think it won't work even if you do tobascodagama's suggestion of "Always allow". The Javascript console has this error on it
getCurrentPosition() and watchPosition() no longer work on insecure origins. To use this feature, you should consider switching your application to a secure origin, such as HTTPS. See https://goo.gl/rStTGz for more details
posted by Nelson at 9:09 AM on September 13, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'm currently getting "I Believe It's Magic" from the Ghostbusters soundtrack.

Whoops, now it just switched to Gershon Kingsley's "Popcorn".



I love this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:27 AM on September 13, 2016


This checks so many of my boxes I'm a little scared. Someone needs to do one of these with BBC Closedown messages.
posted by zerolives at 9:30 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


It gets my location right on Mobile Safari, probably because I let it access my phone's location rather than just my IP address.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 9:46 AM on September 13, 2016


“The sky was a brilliant, clear blue, the colour of a television set tuned to a dead channel” — Neil Gaiman, after William Gibson
posted by acb at 9:58 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Its graphics aren't as perfect old-timey weather channel/public access, but I've been enjoying You Are Listening To for a while now. Similar thing, but with (adjustable volume) police scanner, airport tower, or "Deep Thoughts."
posted by queensissy at 10:02 AM on September 13, 2016


Chrome no longer allows geolocation unless the website is SSL. Which, sadly, this site does not support

Oh, there's a backdoor:
You can run chrome with the --unsafely-treat-insecure-origin-as-secure="http://example.com" flag (replacing "example.com" with the origin you actually want to test), which will treat that origin as secure for this session. Note that you also need to include the --user-data-dir=/test/only/profile/dir to create a fresh testing profile for the flag to work. Note that on Android and ChromeOS this requires having a device with root access/dev mode.
O_o

The risk is apparently Bad Actors sniffing your unsecured geolocation. This is some weird line in the sand: there are plenty of other places they allow worse (passwords, invalid HTTPS). Firefox does the right thing and the service degrades nicely.

I could totes go for some bad TTS to go with this. Scales hella nice too -- a nice project.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 10:05 AM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Here's a Tampermonkey script to work around the location issue by just replacing the geolocation API call with a hardcoded lat/lon of your choice.

I'd recommend only giving a general, nearby coordinate here since it does get sent out over the network unencrypted.
posted by caaaaaam at 10:25 AM on September 13, 2016 [5 favorites]


I can't find much about him but the artist appears to be Miles Huston, some photos here of the piece installed in a gallery.
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 10:26 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


ASPARAGUS IN LEAN IN LEAN IS TOO HOT. THAT MAKES IT ART WHEN IT'S WET WHEN IT'S WET.

hmm. ok.
posted by numaner at 11:08 AM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


OK, why doesn't mine play any sound?
posted by Sintram at 1:04 PM on September 13, 2016


So is there any background info on this site, CharleM?

Who put it up, why, how they select secondary sites to frame in, what information they're gathering from visitors, future plans, what else they've done?

Where'dya geddit?


I grabbed it from the vaporwave
Reddit
since I needed a good Internet radio station at work; it was the first one that worked and wasn't blocked by my work filter, so I listened to it.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:22 PM on September 13, 2016


So want to troll my boss with his whizbang monitoring solution being replaced by this tomorrow morning.
posted by Hasteur at 5:01 PM on September 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


I can't tell you how much I love this. Thank you so much for sharing it.
posted by 4ster at 5:30 PM on September 13, 2016


amazing. astounding. tubular.
posted by rebent at 5:42 PM on September 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, who knew my phone volume was up so high. Sorry, kids -- go back to sleep.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:34 PM on September 13, 2016


No volume control and for some reason it thinks I'm in NYC (I'm in New Mexico).

So interesting but "meh".
posted by Qubit at 1:01 PM on September 14, 2016


There's built-in volume control on most devices, and a tampermonkey script a few comments above to change the location. Hope I'm helping to turn that meh into a yeh!
posted by naju at 1:15 PM on September 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Tampermonkey script has been working splendidly for me, FWIW.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:37 AM on September 16, 2016


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