April 10, 2002

7:41 AM

The Standardized Should I Stalk William Shatner Test
1. When I think of William Shatner, I:
a. Think of Captain Kirk
b. Think of the original "Star Trek"
c. Push my tummy out as far as I can and say, "But, Ssssss… pock!
d. Hold all the muscles in my face totally still so no one can tell what I’m thinking. This is private to me, do you understand? I won’t have you blabbing to him and ruining my chances of becoming his best friend. (Via About.com)
posted by Perigee (24 comments total)

I want green blood. I want pointy ears. I want to be as strong as an ox. I want to be irresistable to the women. I want to stalk Leonard Nimoy.

On a related note, does anybody know if Spock had a first name? Or was it just Spock, or Mr. Spock.
posted by ashbury at 8:20 AM on April 10, 2002

"I should want to make Mr. Belvedere a sensible meal. I should not want to cut into him. To tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key."
posted by Danelope at 8:26 AM on April 10, 2002

To his enemies he was Mr. Spock, to his frends he was Spock

say it over and over a few times and youll realise the names pretty ridiculous
posted by monkeyJuice at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2002

Vivian Spock.

He was always kind of sensitive about it. This explained his aversion to salsa and his abiding need to write awful poetry.
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:51 AM on April 10, 2002

His first name is Xtmprszntwlfd. Wow I thought everybody knew that.
posted by iconomy at 8:55 AM on April 10, 2002

No, no, no..... not Vivian.

Elizabeth. Adolf Elizabeth Spock. Not many people know it, but the Vulcan was descended from a long line of English queens.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:16 AM on April 10, 2002

Not as many know this, but "Spock" was really a shortened version of "Spockmorton," which is a very common name on Vulcan, sort of like "Mookie" here.

You'll see Bones occasionally refer to something as "spocklicious," but that wasn't Spock's full name.
posted by UncleFes at 9:56 AM on April 10, 2002

This has been very helpful. See, we've already managed to identify four potential Shatner-stalkers already.
posted by yhbc at 10:07 AM on April 10, 2002

Xtmprszntwlfd?
posted by iconomy at 11:05 AM on April 10, 2002

Damn! A perfectly good line of crap - denounced!
posted by UncleFes at 11:21 AM on April 10, 2002

In calm, dulcet, Nimoidian tone :
"Even mindless violence seems boring today."
posted by dong_resin at 11:26 AM on April 10, 2002

At some point it occured to me that his first name was probably Spockity, and his two middle names Spock and Spock, respectively. Thus the lovely-to-say Spockity Spock Spock Spock, which one can imagine a post-coital Kirk whispering, absent-mindedly, into that pointy ear.

Er.
posted by cortex at 2:17 PM on April 10, 2002

Actually, in one of the episodes (the one where mutant flowers spray the crew with "spores" that dispel their inhibitions) somebody does ask Spock what his first name is and he replies: "you couldn't pronounce it". How's that for a cop-out? When my brother and I were growing up as little geeks that was one of our favorite lines.
posted by cakeman at 3:42 PM on April 10, 2002

Mr. "You Couldn't Pronounce It" Spock. I remember that episode. Ahhhh, I am now complete.
posted by ashbury at 5:58 PM on April 10, 2002

Wow, You're good iconomy. I have that episode, nothing like Spock climbing a tree.
posted by sadie01221975 at 6:27 PM on April 10, 2002

Thanks, sadie - I was beginning to think I had used invisible ink ;)
posted by iconomy at 7:43 PM on April 10, 2002

Actually, it's just spelled Xtmprszntwlfd. It's pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove."

*sits back to see if anybody gets the reference*
posted by diddlegnome at 8:31 PM on April 10, 2002

Most obscure Shatner reference ever: BEEF HOUSE.
posted by ParisParamus at 8:37 PM on April 10, 2002

Stop that, diddlegnome! It's very silly indeed.
posted by yhbc at 8:39 PM on April 10, 2002

Very nice, yhbc! If there was a prize, you'd win it.
posted by diddlegnome at 9:02 PM on April 10, 2002

Very nice, yhbc! If there was a prize, you'd win it.
posted by diddlegnome at 9:04 PM on April 10, 2002

oops.
posted by diddlegnome at 9:04 PM on April 10, 2002

The number of the post button shall be one. Two shalt thou NOT hit the post button ...
posted by yhbc at 9:07 PM on April 10, 2002

yeah, yeah. three is right out.
posted by diddlegnome at 9:11 PM on April 10, 2002