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October 12, 2016 3:05 PM Subscribe
Welcome Back, SPY. [Esquire] “Then came the last year: the withdrawal of Stewart and Colbert from Comedy Central, the death of Gawker, the return of Hillary, and especially the rise of Donald Trump. SPY pioneered the exposure and ridicule of Trump back in its day, of course, always referring to him as "short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump"— and in this campaign, astonishingly, that epithet (and the general tiny-hand critique) resurfaced in a big way. As Trump became the Republicans' presumptive nominee, lots more people, pretty much every day, said to me, "SPY really needs to be rebooted, if only just for the election."”
• The Regrets of Lincoln Chafee, Failed Presidential Candidate
• Donald Trump: Reluctant Assh*le
• Trumpercise! How to Get as Fit as the Donald
• Is Donald Trump Genetically Defective?
• Separated at Birth
• A Visit to the Trump Family Gravesite Took a Very Trumpian Turn
• TV Writers Know How to Make Hillary More Likeable
• Is Donald Trump the World's Greatest Pickup Artist?
Metafilter: Don't call it a comeback.
posted by parmanparman at 3:21 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by parmanparman at 3:21 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
Here's a great interview with two of the founders of SPY that ran on On the Media a little while ago.
posted by Aizkolari at 3:59 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Aizkolari at 3:59 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
As someone with smaller than average hands, I'll be glad to see the back of this particular gag. I mean, I get it, sure, small hands == small dick == The Donald is less masculine than he would have us believe, as judged by his own vile standards ha ha, but it doesn't even crack the top 10,000 contemptible things about him.
All that said, "short fingered vulgarian" is a wonderful phrase.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:16 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
All that said, "short fingered vulgarian" is a wonderful phrase.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:16 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
Plus, it actually got under Trump's skin. Graydon Carter says Trump still sends him pictures with the hands circled as proof that they're not small.
I subscribed to Spy in its heyday and loved it. You can check out those issues in Google Books.
posted by pmurray63 at 4:35 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
I subscribed to Spy in its heyday and loved it. You can check out those issues in Google Books.
posted by pmurray63 at 4:35 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
"the death of Gawker"...
Although the Gawker site is shut down and Univision, the New Owners of what's left, have pulled the articles that got them sued, the rest of Nick Denton's media empire continues to exist and most of Gawker's writing staff have jobs at various parts of what is now called "Gizmodo Media", including the tech-focused Gizmodo, the feminist Jezebel and sports-oriented Deadspin, which has sprouted a subsite The Concourse which is currently about 75% Trump-abuse.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:00 PM on October 12, 2016
Although the Gawker site is shut down and Univision, the New Owners of what's left, have pulled the articles that got them sued, the rest of Nick Denton's media empire continues to exist and most of Gawker's writing staff have jobs at various parts of what is now called "Gizmodo Media", including the tech-focused Gizmodo, the feminist Jezebel and sports-oriented Deadspin, which has sprouted a subsite The Concourse which is currently about 75% Trump-abuse.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:00 PM on October 12, 2016
Oh, The Concourse isn't newly sprouted.
posted by listen, lady at 5:19 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by listen, lady at 5:19 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
I loved Spy back in the day; I texted my sister and brothers about this news as soon as I heard.
In the past decades I have thought of the "Separated at Birth" gag so many times -- I am glad to see it come back, even if only for a little while.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:27 PM on October 12, 2016
In the past decades I have thought of the "Separated at Birth" gag so many times -- I am glad to see it come back, even if only for a little while.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:27 PM on October 12, 2016
ALL of Spy is available free online at Google Books.
My favourite magazine from the 80s and early 90s.
posted by bcarter3 at 6:28 PM on October 12, 2016 [6 favorites]
My favourite magazine from the 80s and early 90s.
posted by bcarter3 at 6:28 PM on October 12, 2016 [6 favorites]
Oh, I loved Spy so much. Now, today, there are things I would critique about its arch and superior white-guy social critique, but at the time, it was so completely unusual for the way it offered smart mockery, irony, and satire without being gonzo. It was a very GenX publication.
posted by Miko at 6:32 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Miko at 6:32 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
Haha! You throw enough shit against the wall...But I think we all knew, even then, that the awfulness of Trump was too much for a single insult to contain. No matter how wonderful the insult.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:36 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:36 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
It wasn't just Trump if you'll recall. Less polarized than today, alas.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:09 PM on October 12, 2016
posted by IndigoJones at 7:09 PM on October 12, 2016
America needs a Private Eye so desperately.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 7:39 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 7:39 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
At its best, Spy was pretty good. At its worst, it had crap such as the cover that hinted that Hillary Clinton had a dick, an article on television that claimed that Twin Peaks was about the Log Lady, and pointless stunts such as the time that they sent progressively smaller checks from a fictitious company to celebrities to see if they'd bother cashing them, and made much merriment over the fact that Cher endorsed one for two cents. (I think that it's pretty smart of someone to keep track of how much money is coming in and going out, but whatever.) There were also a lot of breathless "exposes" of rich people that probably few people outside of the circles that Graydon Carter traveled in, or aspired to, had ever heard of. I've never stopped being amused that Carter took over Vanity Fair, which, while occasionally doing the bit of scandal-mongering, specializes in fawning over the sort of celebrities that Spy regularly mocked.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:07 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:07 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
Bcarter3 thank you for the Google Books tip. My friends now have proof that 20 years ago, I was less jaded. I screen grabbed a page from the 1996 story on Martha Stewart in which I was described as a "nice, unassuming woman." It also says she called me an idiot but...
posted by Lil Bit of Pepper at 8:46 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Lil Bit of Pepper at 8:46 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
omigaw I HATED Spy back in the day. The years have proven me wrong, but at the time if I saw it in someone's house I dismissed them as an ironist child of privilege, which isn't actually inaccurate. What was off base in my analysis was thinking that I was not, myself, an ironist child of privilege. Someday I'll get to the point of being forgiving and accepting on the matter.
Andersen's later life as the Studio 360 guy has also softened me, and it should be noted that sometime between 1990 and 2000 I went from hater of the magazine The New Yorker to probable lifetime subscriber. I'm a horrifyingly hypocritical person, I guess.
posted by mwhybark at 9:01 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
Andersen's later life as the Studio 360 guy has also softened me, and it should be noted that sometime between 1990 and 2000 I went from hater of the magazine The New Yorker to probable lifetime subscriber. I'm a horrifyingly hypocritical person, I guess.
posted by mwhybark at 9:01 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
pointless stunts such as the time that they sent progressively smaller checks from a fictitious company to celebrities to see if they'd bother cashing them, and made much merriment over the fact that Cher endorsed one for two cents.
I still have a check from Netscape for 1 cent around somewhere. Because checks for pennies are hilarious. That prank is brilliant.
posted by srboisvert at 9:04 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
I still have a check from Netscape for 1 cent around somewhere. Because checks for pennies are hilarious. That prank is brilliant.
posted by srboisvert at 9:04 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
an article on television that claimed that Twin Peaks was about the Log Lady
It wasn't?
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:00 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
It wasn't?
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:00 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
Plus, it actually got under Trump's skin. Graydon Carter says Trump still sends him pictures with the hands circled as proof that they're not small.
i have a feeling that this particular detail just might have been part of the satire
posted by automatizing nihilist vortex at 12:37 AM on October 13, 2016
i have a feeling that this particular detail just might have been part of the satire
posted by automatizing nihilist vortex at 12:37 AM on October 13, 2016
i have a feeling that this particular detail just might have been part of the satire
[True]
"Just to drive him a little bit crazy, I took to referring to him as a “short-fingered vulgarian” in the pages of Spy magazine. That was more than a quarter of a century ago. To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him—generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers. I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby. The most recent offering arrived earlier this year, before his decision to go after the Republican presidential nomination. Like the other packages, this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: “See, not so short!” I sent the picture back by return mail with a note attached, saying, “Actually, quite short.” Which I can only assume gave him fits."
posted by colt45 at 1:35 AM on October 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
[True]
"Just to drive him a little bit crazy, I took to referring to him as a “short-fingered vulgarian” in the pages of Spy magazine. That was more than a quarter of a century ago. To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him—generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers. I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby. The most recent offering arrived earlier this year, before his decision to go after the Republican presidential nomination. Like the other packages, this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: “See, not so short!” I sent the picture back by return mail with a note attached, saying, “Actually, quite short.” Which I can only assume gave him fits."
posted by colt45 at 1:35 AM on October 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
i mean to say, you're relying on the self-reporting of the satirist here without any kind of verification. it sounds a little pat to me.
posted by automatizing nihilist vortex at 3:18 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by automatizing nihilist vortex at 3:18 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Don't forget Bunny Burgers.
I remember going to visit my sister who was in Peace Corps stationed out in the middle of Nepal in the late '80s and all one of her friends wanted to talk about was Spy magazine.
posted by lagomorphius at 4:32 AM on October 13, 2016
I remember going to visit my sister who was in Peace Corps stationed out in the middle of Nepal in the late '80s and all one of her friends wanted to talk about was Spy magazine.
posted by lagomorphius at 4:32 AM on October 13, 2016
This is great; I loved Spy magazine, even though I have only been to New York for a few hours out of my entire life. The Terrific Tax ads are a nice touch, and I have been unable to look at Trump without thinking "short-fingered vulgarian" for 20+ years. They seem to be missing celebrity math, though.
posted by TedW at 5:29 AM on October 13, 2016
posted by TedW at 5:29 AM on October 13, 2016
As someone with smaller than average hands, I'll be glad to see the back of this particular gag. I mean, I get it, sure, small hands == small dick == The Donald is less masculine than he would have us believe, as judged by his own vile standards ha ha, but it doesn't even crack the top 10,000 contemptible things about him.
All that said, "short fingered vulgarian" is a wonderful phrase.
This isn't how I interpreted that at all; I thought the point was that "short-fingered" was a nonsense insult because, seriously, who cares if your fingers are short? It's meaningless! But Donald Trump is so insecure that he takes anything in the format of an insult very personally and really lets it get to him and so the joke becomes "Jesus Christ, you can bait Donald Trump with anything that even SOUNDS unflattering, whether it is or not." I don't think the length of his fingers really matters here, I think the joke is Donald Trump's ego.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:35 AM on October 13, 2016 [10 favorites]
All that said, "short fingered vulgarian" is a wonderful phrase.
This isn't how I interpreted that at all; I thought the point was that "short-fingered" was a nonsense insult because, seriously, who cares if your fingers are short? It's meaningless! But Donald Trump is so insecure that he takes anything in the format of an insult very personally and really lets it get to him and so the joke becomes "Jesus Christ, you can bait Donald Trump with anything that even SOUNDS unflattering, whether it is or not." I don't think the length of his fingers really matters here, I think the joke is Donald Trump's ego.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:35 AM on October 13, 2016 [10 favorites]
pointless stunts such as the time that they sent progressively smaller checks from a fictitious company to celebrities
oh, man, I loved that one. Thought it was brilliant. iirc the article was called "The World's Cheapest Billionaires" or something like that. I kept a copy for many years, long gone, now.
But bless you, infinite web archives: Trump came in tied for the title of World's Cheapest Billionaire!
posted by martin q blank at 7:43 AM on October 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
oh, man, I loved that one. Thought it was brilliant. iirc the article was called "The World's Cheapest Billionaires" or something like that. I kept a copy for many years, long gone, now.
But bless you, infinite web archives: Trump came in tied for the title of World's Cheapest Billionaire!
posted by martin q blank at 7:43 AM on October 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
I loved Spy back in the day. I was so surprised when, after 9/11, Graydon Carter wrote an essay declaring irony/sarcasm dead. Him, of all people! Plus in the Bush era, we needed all the irony we could get; Bush banked on that newfound sincerity and goodwill far too much.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:28 PM on October 13, 2016
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:28 PM on October 13, 2016
AFAICT the retorts to "short-fingered vulgarian" have only ever disputed the first half
posted by kurumi at 2:12 PM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by kurumi at 2:12 PM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
This makes me so happy. I've been pining for a Spy comeback. (I had a subscription back in the day.)
posted by SisterHavana at 4:10 PM on October 13, 2016
posted by SisterHavana at 4:10 PM on October 13, 2016
As someone with smaller than average hands, I'll be glad to see the back of this particular gag.
You know, it never occurred to me that slapping Trump for having small hands is kind of unfair to all other small-handed dudes. You're quite right, it kind of sucks to go after him for having small hands when his personality is really what's awful about the guy. I'll drop jokes about his hands from my repertoire... but his gross orange spray tan, the hairstyle and the way he puckers his lips are reflections of his loathsome personality, so I'll keep dinging him about those.
(I kind of suspect it isn't so much that his hands are small, but that he is a big, ogre-ish fellow with a truly enormous head, so his hands look small in comparison. To match that head he'd have to hands like Shaq.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 4:14 PM on October 13, 2016
You know, it never occurred to me that slapping Trump for having small hands is kind of unfair to all other small-handed dudes. You're quite right, it kind of sucks to go after him for having small hands when his personality is really what's awful about the guy. I'll drop jokes about his hands from my repertoire... but his gross orange spray tan, the hairstyle and the way he puckers his lips are reflections of his loathsome personality, so I'll keep dinging him about those.
(I kind of suspect it isn't so much that his hands are small, but that he is a big, ogre-ish fellow with a truly enormous head, so his hands look small in comparison. To match that head he'd have to hands like Shaq.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 4:14 PM on October 13, 2016
I enjoyed Spy back in the day. I liked "short-fingered vulgarian", but I always thought the best of their epithets was "unbearable play-doh-faced homunculus" for Sylvester Stallone.
posted by Zonker at 4:30 PM on October 13, 2016
posted by Zonker at 4:30 PM on October 13, 2016
As someone with smaller than average hands, I'll be glad to see the back of this particular gag.
AFAIK, there was no thought about what small hands implied. The joke is that there is nothing at all strange about the size of his hands, but that Donald has very thin skin, and therefore would become very insecure and defensive if someone made this innocuous detail into an insult. And I think the vulgarian part was about his background in Queens being a source of embarrassment for him. It seems to have worked very well at getting under Donald's skin for decades, long after Spy had ceased being published.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:49 AM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
AFAIK, there was no thought about what small hands implied. The joke is that there is nothing at all strange about the size of his hands, but that Donald has very thin skin, and therefore would become very insecure and defensive if someone made this innocuous detail into an insult. And I think the vulgarian part was about his background in Queens being a source of embarrassment for him. It seems to have worked very well at getting under Donald's skin for decades, long after Spy had ceased being published.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:49 AM on October 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Next bring back Suck.
posted by Chrysostom at 5:25 PM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Chrysostom at 5:25 PM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
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Also, contained in that previously, a glimpse of our current election as predicted by a comment made by stupidsexyFlanders: posted by Fizz at 3:08 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]