Joe Biden Has a 1967 Corvette
October 20, 2016 3:20 PM   Subscribe

Vroom, vroom!

The Secret Service almost never allows the POTUS or the VPOTUS to go joyriding. But gearhead Jay Leno convinced them to let Diamond Joe to take his dad's wedding present out for a spin. (Special appearance by a former Secretary of State.)
posted by Guy Smiley (69 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Little known fact (came to mind because of "vroom vroom" above) -- Vladimir Nabokov's son Dmitri had a motor boat named "Beep Beep."

Some people really know how to live.
posted by janey47 at 3:24 PM on October 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Dmitri Nabokov: "Beep Beep, light of my life, fire of my loins."

Editor: "...Needs some work."
posted by Guy Smiley at 3:28 PM on October 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Has there been a VP for whom the phrase "This guy." has been any more appropriate?
posted by humboldt32 at 3:38 PM on October 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


God damn, this was the coolest administration ever.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 3:47 PM on October 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


In the waning days of the Obama Administration, the Real Joe Biden and The Onion's Joe Biden are slowly beginning to merge.
posted by SansPoint at 3:49 PM on October 20, 2016 [31 favorites]


First time Biden takes both hands off the wheel to gesture in conversation, in the next shot, Leno looks very uncomfortable.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:49 PM on October 20, 2016


Jay: Try your brakes
Joe: They're good.
posted by octothorpe at 4:04 PM on October 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Just as an aside, pointing out what happens continuously in US media (and elsewhere), burnouts are not "American". Seriously, to lay claim to that as some national pride or shame (either way) is just freaking bizarre.
posted by wilful at 4:04 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Biden mentions he can't drive for 6 months after he is VP. Anyone know the reason for that? He still 400th in line for the Presidency or something?
posted by sideshow at 4:16 PM on October 20, 2016


I thought Diamond Joe was more of a Trans Am guy. Still, this is awesome.
posted by threecheesetrees at 4:27 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Interesting that it was also a second generation Corvette when Obama appeared on Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
posted by asterisk at 4:30 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Biden mentions he can't drive for 6 months after he is VP. Anyone know the reason for that? He still 400th in line for the Presidency or something?

According to Wikipedia:
Former Vice Presidents, their spouses, and their children under 16 years of age, for up to 6 months from the date the former Vice President leaves office (the Secretary of Homeland Security can extend the protection time)
So presumably it's their standard protection rules extended to that point.
posted by Celsius1414 at 4:42 PM on October 20, 2016


In the waning days of the Obama Administration, the Real Joe Biden and The Onion's Joe Biden are slowly beginning to merge.

Just to seal the deal, this really should have been a centerpiece of the 2008 campaign. But who knew?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:46 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I thought Diamond Joe was more of a Trans Am guy.

No. Joe is cool.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:47 PM on October 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Q: What's the difference between a Trans Am and a porcupine?

A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
posted by Guy Smiley at 4:58 PM on October 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


I bet it bothers him that his Onion alter ego drives a Trans Am. The indignity!
posted by indubitable at 4:58 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Former Vice Presidents, their spouses, and their children under 16 years of age, for up to 6 months from the date the former Vice President leaves office

And further down in that same article:

Former Presidents and their spouses for their lifetimes

That's right: once you're a US President, you are never again allowed to drive for the rest of your entire life except on closed courses. Crazy.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 5:00 PM on October 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Biden mentions he can't drive for 6 months after he is VP. Anyone know the reason for that?

That's how long it's going to take us to settle Trump's claim that the election was rigged?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:09 PM on October 20, 2016


That's right: once you're a US President, you are never again allowed to drive for the rest of your entire life except on closed courses. Crazy.

There must have been an exception at some point. Like seriously. Someone in their later years must have been all like "Fuck it. Like, what's gonna happen...they can stop me, but they can't arrest me."

If it's unprecedented, money's on Biden for being the first.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:12 PM on October 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I bet it bothers him that his Onion alter ego drives a Trans Am. The indignity!

Actually, it genuinely does. He's actually complained about the Onion putting him into a Trans Am.
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:13 PM on October 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


That's right: once you're a US President, you are never again allowed to drive for the rest of your entire life except on closed courses. Crazy.

Not really. Former Presidents are considered targets, and it's doubtful that they would be trained in evasive driving. So the Secret Service just says "nope, you get driven around by a guy who is trained in getting out of Dodge fast when shit goes pear-shaped."
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


That's right: once you're a US President, you are never again allowed to drive for the rest of your entire life except on closed courses. Crazy.

Harry Truman took a very famous road trip after he left office.

I can see having a driver as a perk and requiring secret service protection, but I really can't think of a good reason why Obama can't drive the Camry down to 7-11 for a slurpee and a pack of smokes after he leaves office.

On preview, sure there might be bad guys who might chase him, but at some point it's not really a national security issue anymore. If Jimmy Carter wants to take his chances driving down to the Olive Garden on Saturday evening, I say let him.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:18 PM on October 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


But Truman was president over sixty years ago, and the world was a very different place back then.

The problem with more-recent ex-presidents wandering off on their own is that a lot of high-level information they acquired during their time in office is still sensitive, so it's not just a matter of saving the dignity or physical safety of a ex-president, it's also a matter of maintaining the security of classified data. Carter left office 35 years ago; there's probably very little in the way of information or procedures that he knows/knew then that's still classified. Obama's brain isn't going to be magically emptied of such data sometime on the afternoon of January 20th, and that data has to be protected.
posted by easily confused at 5:47 PM on October 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


That's right: once you're a US President, you are never again allowed to drive for the rest of your entire life except on closed courses. Crazy.

Somebody forgot to tell LBJ...
posted by jim in austin at 5:51 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Obama's brain isn't going to be magically emptied of such data sometime on the afternoon of January 20th, and that data has to be protected.

I really want this one sentence from your comment to be said by the same voice of the guy that introduced the story for a show like Knight Rider or Airwolf. And I kind of need this comment to be turned into a similar 80s action television serial.
He was the President.
And now he's no longer shackled to the desk.
His brain has to be protected.
They're a crackpot team of misfits who are just crazy enough to get the job done.
They are THE SERVICE!

DAH DUH DAH DUN DUN DUN DAUHD *CAR DRIVING THROUGH A BANK* DAH DUH DAH DUN DUN DUN DAUHD
posted by Fizz at 6:05 PM on October 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Not really. Former Presidents are considered targets, and it's doubtful that they would be trained in evasive driving. So the Secret Service just says "nope, you get driven around by a guy who is trained in getting out of Dodge fast when shit goes pear-shaped."

I think that's pretty consistent with what I said.

Harry Truman took a very famous road trip after he left office. ... Somebody forgot to tell LBJ...

Yes well, I'm not saying that's always been the rule.

I knew I read this somewhere and now I've bothered to go find the article: "US presidents can have everything - except the car keys":
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton revealed earlier this year that she hasn't driven a car in 18 years. Her husband, former President Bill Clinton, has said one of the biggest drawbacks of his position is losing driving privileges....

Lyndon Johnson may have been the last president to drive on public roads after leaving office...
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 6:05 PM on October 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Hrmm, wonder if an arena would count as closed-enough? Presidential demolition derby anyone?
posted by zengargoyle at 6:16 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I mean, in addition to whatever concerns about classified information people might have, the assasination of a former US president is a market event and a national security nightmare. It doesn't matter that they actually hold no real power (outside whatever they do after they're out of office), it matters what it looks like, and it looks really bad if a president gets killed, and it wouldn't look too much better if it was a normal car accident either. It would hurt the country regardless of it making sense.

There's also the security of the current president to consider. I'd imagine that if the secret service had reason to believe that a former president was killed that they would lockdown the current president until they can determine if there is a threat to them, and that security would be ramped up significantly. This is also bad for the market and public confidence in addition to just being scary. Former US presidents would make very useful targets to terrorists of all stripes at any rate, and for reasons that directly relate to their service to the nation. No other person in the country is as visible and held responsible for as many things as the president.

As crazy as it seems, I think it makes sense to protect former presidents to the hilt. It would effect the entire nation in very significant ways. Imagine if either of the Bush presidents were to be killed. It doesn't functionally or practically matter more than the death of a normal person, but it'd sure feel that way.
posted by neonrev at 6:20 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I've always liked Joe Biden and I can see here that my instincts were correct!
posted by supermedusa at 6:28 PM on October 20, 2016


I don't know why there's all this disdain for Trans Ams floating around here, but I'll tell you-- A black 1977 T-Top with a golden Firebird emblazoned on the hood is a god-damned beautiful work of American automotive culture. If Joe thinks he's too cool for one, that's his loss.
posted by KHAAAN! at 6:30 PM on October 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Who is the guy in the new Corvette?
(Resolution is poor)
posted by allelopath at 6:32 PM on October 20, 2016


so we currently have 5 living former presidents. thats got to be a first/record. so thats a lot of extra secret service coverage to provide...I wonder what the logistics look like on the inside...
posted by supermedusa at 6:34 PM on October 20, 2016


> Who is the guy in the new Corvette?

Colin Powell
posted by drklahn at 6:38 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


So if they can't drive they can still jog in the early morning, right, and stop in at a McDonalds and get junk food like Clinton used to do?
posted by dancestoblue at 6:41 PM on October 20, 2016


I want to believe Joe's Corvette can fly, just like Agent Coulson's.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:01 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


a similar 80s action television serial.

A Quinn-Martin production.
posted by adamg at 7:02 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The black Firebird with a hood decal was known as a "farm-boy", because that's who had 'em in the rural HS parking lot back in time.
posted by ovvl at 7:04 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The best part of that video is when someone (secret service?) sprints out of Diamond Joe's way (even though they're about 100 yards away) at about 2:30.
posted by roquetuen at 7:04 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


>So if they can't drive they can still jog in the early morning, right, and stop in at a McDonalds and get junk food like Clinton used to do?

This is still the U S to the mutha fuckin' A, is it not?
posted by roquetuen at 7:07 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well that's it. Losing my driving privileges is a deal-breaker for me. I will regretfully need to disband the exploratory committee for my presidential run.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:08 PM on October 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


That's a sweet 'vette. 1967 was the first year you could get a 427 in a Corvette, they were absolute screamers. But even with the 327 they definitely walk and talk -- your basic 327 was 300 horsepower but you could get a 365 horse 327 that would make *anyone* smile. If he's buried that 'vette it's got probably a 323 rear end in it, not so fast off the line but plenty of speed at the top.

I've been in probably 40 Corvettes, driven four or five, never owned one. My best friend in high school always bought Corvettes that needed work, bought at a low price, he'd fix them and paint them beautifully and sell them high and do it again -- Tommy had over 100 Corvettes in his life, gave it up in his thirties, real estate took him, finally he grew out of Corvettes. (Though I've not spoken to him in years and who knows -- life is a twisting stream...)

One thing you may not know about Corvettes is that they are squeaky as hell -- they're fiberglass, you're going to get tons of road noise and lots of squeaking, just part of driving a 'vette. They aren't quiet. At all.

It's lots of fun to be in a car at 160 mph -- a friend had a 71 Charger that he drove the way it's supposed to be driven, many times in that beast over 160. The fastest I've ever driven was 136 mph, a 74 Ford Capri (from when the Capri was made in Germany), it had all the anti-pollution jive torn off of it, it was light and low and it was fun to drive, a V6, a real sleeper -- who would ever think a Capri would have any go to it? I wish I had that car today.

I love that Biden likes to bury it. Anybody with a need for speed would want to bury it and hopefully they'd have the jam to do it. I'm super envious that his family gave him a 'vette when he was young -- clearly, he comes from good family..........
posted by dancestoblue at 7:16 PM on October 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


One thing you may not know about Corvettes is that they are squeaky as hell -- they're fiberglass, you're going to get tons of road noise and lots of squeaking, just part of driving a 'vette. They aren't quiet. At all.

I have driven a pretty recent one, and it is indeed loud as hell at highway speeds. I've measured it on my phone, and while I can't recall the dBs of SPL, the qualitative bar was somewhere in the "don't listen to this for long" area. It's all road noise; the chassis and springs are very stiff, and it comes through even on the relatively soft tires that were on it at the time. I can't imagine what it sounds like on the highway with the DOT slicks.
posted by indubitable at 7:42 PM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The black Firebird with a hood decal was known as a "farm-boy", because that's who had 'em in the rural HS parking lot back in time.

Can partially confirm, father owned a red Firebird with a hood decal at a rural HS back in time, and he is a total farm-boy. He is a total farm-boy who drove said red Firebird w/decal back home to work on the farm every weekend after he left for college. Classic farm-boy car and behavior.

That Firebird met its end at the hands of a deer and also a ditch on the backroads of South Dakota, because that is the classic death of a classic farm-boy car. My father took its ruination as a sign that he'd better grow up a bit and get a grown-up car in anticipation of his upcoming firstborn child, who is me. In this spirit he purchased a pontiac 6000 and a dodge caravan, which is a classic farm-boy compromise.
posted by neonrev at 8:45 PM on October 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


I am experiencing Biden Envy.
posted by Lyme Drop at 8:48 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wait, so Presidents and their spouses get lifetime Secret Service protection after leaving office, and VPs get...six months? That seems kind of cold. Surely the VPs know some sensitive information.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 9:06 PM on October 20, 2016


"I really can't think of a good reason why Obama can't drive the Camry down to 7-11 for ... a pack of smokes after he leaves office."

Michelle would fucking kill him and it'd be awkward.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:06 PM on October 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


"Michelle would fucking kill him and it'd be awkward."

He has Secret Service protection to keep that from happening, though. On the other hand, if they're tasked with keeping him alive no matter what, they might not let him smoke.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:46 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


... Surely the VPs know some sensitive information.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 11:06 PM on October 20

I think VPs mostly just know where the golf courses are -- eight years of playing golf. I'm betting that Cabinet members know more sensitive information than VPs do.
posted by dancestoblue at 12:33 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just as an aside, pointing out what happens continuously in US media (and elsewhere), burnouts are not "American". Seriously, to lay claim to that as some national pride or shame (either way) is just freaking bizarre.

As a farm-girl American who drove a cherry red 1972 Chevrolet Nova SuperSport with a 350 that had 300hp, here's the thing. In Europe, you have to have a lot of money to afford a car with that kind of horsepower. Plus, it's going to be something like a BMW, Audi, Mercedes, or – and obviously this is only for the elite – a Ferrari, Lamborghini, whatever. Sure, there were some really neat little European cars with powerful, fun engines and designs, but you guys... you never had American muscle cars. (They were imported.)

An "American burnout" is with a muscle car. I love European cars, there are some really fun ones to drive, and of course you can do burnouts in them, you can even manage one with a Twingo, but they are not muscle cars. One of the things I miss most about the States, and which I admit is totally at odds with an ecological conscience, is the democracy of engine power. You don't have to be a rich snooty-pants parking his Aston Martin in front of the Monte Carlo casino, you can be a regular dude with a white Corvette grinning from ear to ear on an interstate.
posted by fraula at 1:13 AM on October 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


Gah... beat me to it Eyebrows!
posted by iffthen at 1:22 AM on October 21, 2016


Heh.

I'll just leave this here.

Why yes, that is a mullet I had.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 1:38 AM on October 21, 2016


Fraula, you are probably intellectually aware that there are other parts of the planet apart from the USA and Europe that have car cultures. It's true!
posted by wilful at 3:26 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


My Dad just sold his '66. Factory air conditioning in that car. It was a lovely machine. I drove it several times and of all the 'vettes I've driven over the years, that one was probably the best balance of power, handling and oh-my-God-this-thing-is-going-to-kill-us.

I've wanted a '62 for a long time, but he sold that one, too. Right now, I might inherit the Studebaker truck.

le sigh.
posted by Thistledown at 4:42 AM on October 21, 2016


dancestoblue - it was possible to get the big-block in '66, too.
posted by Thistledown at 4:43 AM on October 21, 2016


Albeit, while I grew up in Texas and bought a Mercury Capri "Black Magic" in the '80's (The 5.0L, 4 speed version, of course. I'd originally gone in to buy a Subaru), I've since learned that Australia was building muscle cars and doing donuts in parallel with the US probably from the '50s.

But hey, Joe. I agree. Trans-Ams are so low class.
posted by michswiss at 4:49 AM on October 21, 2016


My mom has a crush on Biden and travels to DC with some frequency. I hope he gives her a ride someday.
posted by pxe2000 at 4:58 AM on October 21, 2016


As a farm-girl American who drove a cherry red 1972 Chevrolet Nova SuperSport with a 350 that had 300hp, here's the thing.

I think I'm in love.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:07 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


dancestoblue - it was possible to get the big-block in '66, too.
posted by Thistledown at 6:43 AM on October 21

Big block in 66, yes. But just the 396 I thought, with the 427 starting in 67 (??)
posted by dancestoblue at 9:03 AM on October 21, 2016


Diamond Joe Biden is a hero of our time.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 9:29 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, if it was a 1963 Black Corvette, I'd have to ask what he was doing on the Summer of 1963. Because for some reason, drag racing seems soooooo Biden.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:50 AM on October 21, 2016


The thing that bothers me is Joe classifying himself as not rich or working class. I'm sorry, but if your father owned the largest GM dealer in the state, you've got money. Maybe not mega-billionaire bucks but you're not poor or working class. It took (and takes) funds to buy dealerships. The car companies want to know you're solvent and you've got some resources backing the bid. A dealership is not something you can just pick up on a whim with your pocket change.
posted by sardonyx at 10:18 AM on October 21, 2016


But hey, Joe. I agree. Trans-Ams are so low class.

I'd never actually buy one, but (probably because I was ten years old in 1979) I've yet to see a car that looks as sweet to me as a black T-top Trans Am with a gold firebird decal.
posted by straight at 10:52 AM on October 21, 2016


While Joe Biden's father did have success earlier and later in life, when Biden was growing up he was doing things like cleaning furnaces. So not working class from a UK perspective, but from a US perspective, lower middle class at least during his childhood.
posted by tavella at 11:03 AM on October 21, 2016


willful: ...there are other parts of the planet apart from the USA and Europe that have car cultures.

The wonderful show "Roadkill" went to Australia one time and did some amazing burnouts with local cars:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYeBHtoxs7g
On this episode of Roadkill, there's endless burnouts and powerskids as David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan of HOT ROD magazine are on the loose in Australia with 727ci of Sonny Leonard hemi-headed madness. The massive big-block makes 1,275 horsepower between the fenders of a 2006 Holden HSV VE Clubsport R8. In American, that's like a Pontiac G8. This display of overkill is the product of "Gup," the promoter of the Powercruise series of events in Australia, New Zealand, and Minnesota (USA) where tire smoke is the rule. On the show, you'll see tire fire from Gup's infamous "Elvis" '74 Holden HQ, from his 727ci Clubbie, from a 1,500ci diesel semi truck, and from Downunder's most throttle-happy petrolheads on both coasts. The miracle is that Freiburger and Finnegan aren't still in an Aussie jail. Of course, that might have been less punishing than the 30-hour flight home.
Not totally stock cars, of course, but plenty of smoke and smiles.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:32 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


A Quinn-Martin production.

Tonight: THE VICE-PRESIDENT'S SPORTS CAR [Horn section: LOUD BLARE]
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:53 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


dancestoblue - it was possible to get the big-block in '66, too.
posted by Thistledown at 6:43 AM on October 21
Big block in 66, yes. But just the 396 I thought, with the 427 starting in 67 (??)
posted by dancestoblue at 11:03 AM on October 21

Wikipedia tells us that the 427 was introduced in 1966, both in Corevettes and in other cars. You had it right, Thistledown, and I had it wrong.
posted by dancestoblue at 2:24 PM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'd never actually buy one, but (probably because I was ten years old in 1979) I've yet to see a car that looks as sweet to me as a black T-top Trans Am with a gold firebird decal.


Yeah, I wouldn't buy one, and 10-year-old me would be horrified to hear that.

On the other hand, Sally Field and I would crank the Jerry Reed music and go on the run from the cops while borrowing one.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:56 PM on October 21, 2016


Diamond Joe Biden is a hero of our time.

I think the most recent Nobel Literature laureate should take that first line and run with it.
posted by Devonian at 5:40 AM on October 22, 2016


These tweets about Biden and Obama made me so happy this morning. I'm going to miss those two.
posted by octothorpe at 6:47 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


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