R.I.P Hannah
October 22, 2016 6:44 AM Subscribe
Dogs are too amazing to let go, but sometimes it happens and they will forgive you. — For about two months Hannah has been having seizures, they were small and nothing to worry about, but they gradually got worse. (Alternate link)
Hannah was on a couple of meds, one for her kidneys and another for the pain she had in her elbows and her hips. When she wasn't on her meds, she didn't have really bad seizures, she had them, but they weren't horrible, but when she wasn't on her meds, she couldn't walk well or make it up the stairs, several times she fell down them or up them. I finally decided that keeping her on the meds was selfish, but keeping her off of them was just as cruel. So I decided to give her one last hoo-rah day of pampering, like the queen she's always been, and let her go. Where there would be no pain, no seizures, no whimpering in the night. Just peace and hopefully love. <3
Hannah was on a couple of meds, one for her kidneys and another for the pain she had in her elbows and her hips. When she wasn't on her meds, she didn't have really bad seizures, she had them, but they weren't horrible, but when she wasn't on her meds, she couldn't walk well or make it up the stairs, several times she fell down them or up them. I finally decided that keeping her on the meds was selfish, but keeping her off of them was just as cruel. So I decided to give her one last hoo-rah day of pampering, like the queen she's always been, and let her go. Where there would be no pain, no seizures, no whimpering in the night. Just peace and hopefully love. <3
This is achingly beautiful, Johnny Wallflower. The love shines through the pain and grief to triumph. Thank you for posting this.
posted by Silverstone at 7:03 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Silverstone at 7:03 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
That last photo . . .
posted by thivaia at 7:04 AM on October 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 7:04 AM on October 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
Johnny, I love everything that you post here. Thank you.
posted by kimberussell at 7:08 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by kimberussell at 7:08 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
.
Rudyard Kipling - a very flawed human - knew about this.
If you give your heart to a dog to tear....
posted by Combat Wombat at 7:19 AM on October 22, 2016 [6 favorites]
Rudyard Kipling - a very flawed human - knew about this.
If you give your heart to a dog to tear....
posted by Combat Wombat at 7:19 AM on October 22, 2016 [6 favorites]
Imgur is doing its best to protect the rest of us from this right now.
posted by maudlin at 7:40 AM on October 22, 2016
posted by maudlin at 7:40 AM on October 22, 2016
Sitting here with my old cat and crying. I know he trusts me to make the right choice when he needs me to, and I'm glad that that time isn't now.
posted by Made of Star Stuff at 8:07 AM on October 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Made of Star Stuff at 8:07 AM on October 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
I just went through this two days ago, my 15 year old dog Elvis had a small seizure, and seemed to get better but the next day had one that took out his right side. The vet informed us there was a small chance of a small recovery, but the thought of him in more pain and not understanding his situation I decided I was selfish for considering it.
I have realised since then, that even though I always knew his life was finite, there is a small child inside me that wanted him to live forever, that couldn't deal with the thought of him gone.
posted by vincentmeanie at 8:30 AM on October 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
I have realised since then, that even though I always knew his life was finite, there is a small child inside me that wanted him to live forever, that couldn't deal with the thought of him gone.
posted by vincentmeanie at 8:30 AM on October 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
My favorite dog I used to petsit for had to be put to sleep recently. Her back legs gave out. I'm still "waaaah" about it.
And then a coworker's dog died yesterday (dog was old but it sounded like it was out of the blue). She didn't come in to work, but left messages that nobody but nobody was to provide her with any angel dog statues or anything mentioning the words "all dogs to go heaven."
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:58 AM on October 22, 2016 [6 favorites]
And then a coworker's dog died yesterday (dog was old but it sounded like it was out of the blue). She didn't come in to work, but left messages that nobody but nobody was to provide her with any angel dog statues or anything mentioning the words "all dogs to go heaven."
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:58 AM on October 22, 2016 [6 favorites]
Imgur is doing its best to protect the rest of us from this right now.
Alternate link
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:07 AM on October 22, 2016
Alternate link
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:07 AM on October 22, 2016
Mod note: Added that alternate link to the post.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:16 AM on October 22, 2016
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:16 AM on October 22, 2016
Good dog, Hannah. Good dog, vincentmeanie's Elvis.
We said goodbye to Wilson about a month ago. Congestive heart failure. So hard for him to breathe. So much coughing. But still the most dreadful and painful thing.
posted by Glinn at 9:27 AM on October 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
We said goodbye to Wilson about a month ago. Congestive heart failure. So hard for him to breathe. So much coughing. But still the most dreadful and painful thing.
posted by Glinn at 9:27 AM on October 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
Agreed about the last image; should be tagged "tipping point."
posted by datawrangler at 9:34 AM on October 22, 2016
posted by datawrangler at 9:34 AM on October 22, 2016
I had a bad day last week, and my girl Luna stretched out on the bed next to me and rested her head on my hip. Even when my husband came home, which is usually cause for her to run to the door and jump up and down several times, she stayed pressed up next to me like she knew she had an important job to do.
I don't know what we did to deserve dogs. I don't want to hear some sort of evolutionary tit-for-tat that describes their emotional bond as some sort of survival tactic or something. I am just thankful that we have these creatures that give us so much trust and affection and ask for relatively little in return. Even on my good days, knowing that I'm going to make my dog's fucking day when I come home gives me some extra energy in the afternoon.
Thank you for the beautiful link. I'm going to hug my dog now and give her some bacon, so I'm sure she would thank you too.
posted by bibliowench at 9:42 AM on October 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
I don't know what we did to deserve dogs. I don't want to hear some sort of evolutionary tit-for-tat that describes their emotional bond as some sort of survival tactic or something. I am just thankful that we have these creatures that give us so much trust and affection and ask for relatively little in return. Even on my good days, knowing that I'm going to make my dog's fucking day when I come home gives me some extra energy in the afternoon.
Thank you for the beautiful link. I'm going to hug my dog now and give her some bacon, so I'm sure she would thank you too.
posted by bibliowench at 9:42 AM on October 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
A few years ago I took my old girl Becky to the vet to be released from her life (she was 23 and a tight, painful skeleton in a loose fur bag, and we had seen her through years of insulin injections; she could not eat any more, could not get comfortable, and kept falling) and the veterinarian said, "We could still do something for her."
I looked at her with my old fur lady in my arms and said, "I sat with my mother and helped her die when she decided to stop eating because of Parkinson's," and thank heavens the veterinarian let it be.
posted by Peach at 10:33 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I looked at her with my old fur lady in my arms and said, "I sat with my mother and helped her die when she decided to stop eating because of Parkinson's," and thank heavens the veterinarian let it be.
posted by Peach at 10:33 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I was raised with animals and many of them had to be put down due to old age. It was always difficult as a child, but nothing was as difficult as making the decision to humanely euthanize my own pet recently when she was diagnosed with cancer. The worst part was seeing her just waste away. Anyway that was less than a month ago so this is still fresh.
posted by Young Kullervo at 10:52 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Young Kullervo at 10:52 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's been 5 years since I had to put my chocolate lab mix down, and I still miss her. She gave me so much. She was a rescue dog; we rescued each other.
Safe travels Hannah.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 11:35 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Safe travels Hannah.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 11:35 AM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Crying so hard right now. Remembering the beautiful creatures I have had to let go. Thank you for posting this.
posted by blucevalo at 11:37 AM on October 22, 2016
posted by blucevalo at 11:37 AM on October 22, 2016
I had a Hannah once, born in 1980, half-Brittany Spaniel, half-Lab and all-round great dog. She hated having a leash attached to her collar, but would happily take the loop in her mouth and walk next to me while I held the other end. When she came along on errands, she would sit and stay outside the store until we returned. Unfortunately, I left her behind when the marriage ended in 1983 and I haven't seen her since.
Until I hear otherwise, I'll assume she is alive and well—turned 36 this past summer.
(I can't read that article right now. It's only been ~6 weeks since I took my 20 year old cat, Janie, to the vet for the last time. I trust it's a beautiful tribute to another wonderful Hannah.)
posted by she's not there at 11:55 AM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
Until I hear otherwise, I'll assume she is alive and well—turned 36 this past summer.
(I can't read that article right now. It's only been ~6 weeks since I took my 20 year old cat, Janie, to the vet for the last time. I trust it's a beautiful tribute to another wonderful Hannah.)
posted by she's not there at 11:55 AM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
My dog is 5 and a half and during his last checkup, when the vet said dogs are considered "senior" at 7, I nearly started crying. He was a little puppy guy like, yesterday! And he's healthy! I just try not to think about it.
Puppy Hank
Adult Hank
posted by Automocar at 12:11 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Puppy Hank
Adult Hank
posted by Automocar at 12:11 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I had to put down my childhood dog 3 weekends ago. She'd been around half my life, so it's not like it was unexpected, but I've been shattered ever since. She went quickly; one week of decline and by the time my parents took her in that was it. Which I know is like the best way it could have happened, but it was still so sudden. We had to keep her in an oxygen tent for a few days until half my family could return from vacation, and it wrecks me that I couldn't give my girl a perfect last day like this.
posted by lilac girl at 12:24 PM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by lilac girl at 12:24 PM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
We lost Midnight back in February. She'd been battling pancreatic cancer and was doing beautifully, but suddenly succumbed to an unidentified mass in her GI tract; no way to tell what it was without emergency surgery which the doctors said she was unlikely to survive.
In her final moments we held her, petted her and sang to her. She was drugged up, but she knew we were there.
Crying at work now.
posted by ducky l'orange at 12:32 PM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
In her final moments we held her, petted her and sang to her. She was drugged up, but she knew we were there.
Crying at work now.
posted by ducky l'orange at 12:32 PM on October 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is the way all our beloved pets should be able to go. So lovely.
(And...count me in as another Johnny Wallflower fan.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:45 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
(And...count me in as another Johnny Wallflower fan.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:45 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I saw this on imgur a few weeks back and it was very heart-breaking. Going through the album again, it was just as impacting. For me its that purple heart. It chokes me up every time. Thanks for sharing Johnny Wallflower.
posted by Fizz at 1:06 PM on October 22, 2016
posted by Fizz at 1:06 PM on October 22, 2016
the veterinarian said, "We could still do something for her."
I've been very, very luck with the vets we've done this with - they've been very plain spoken about the options, about their chances for success, and have never ever second guessed the choice, even when we had to put one dog down quite young (he was only 6 or 7) for health reasons (joint/leg problems that we couldn't ever seem to address well enough to make him comfortable. Constant pain, but he was always eager to please and would be keen to go for a walk, even though he would whimper and cry the whole way through). After several appointments and medication trials over a year, we decided the poor thing had had enough, and the vet just came in the room, looked at the dog, looked at us, and said "you're making the right decision."
I have no idea if he really felt or thought that, but he saw the absolute anguish we were in, and was just completely supportive about the decision. The moment is agonizing enough without having to argue about it.
Time to go and pet my dog.
posted by nubs at 1:57 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've been very, very luck with the vets we've done this with - they've been very plain spoken about the options, about their chances for success, and have never ever second guessed the choice, even when we had to put one dog down quite young (he was only 6 or 7) for health reasons (joint/leg problems that we couldn't ever seem to address well enough to make him comfortable. Constant pain, but he was always eager to please and would be keen to go for a walk, even though he would whimper and cry the whole way through). After several appointments and medication trials over a year, we decided the poor thing had had enough, and the vet just came in the room, looked at the dog, looked at us, and said "you're making the right decision."
I have no idea if he really felt or thought that, but he saw the absolute anguish we were in, and was just completely supportive about the decision. The moment is agonizing enough without having to argue about it.
Time to go and pet my dog.
posted by nubs at 1:57 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Had to make the decision for my little girl on May 3 of this year (another big up yours to 2016); coincidentally, it was having to make a decision between pain pills and kidney failure that forced our hand as well.
I don't know what it is about knowing you shouldn't look at things like this - ever - and yet doing it anyway.
My heart goes out to everyone who's had to make that decision, and who will eventually have to.
posted by Mooski at 3:10 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't know what it is about knowing you shouldn't look at things like this - ever - and yet doing it anyway.
My heart goes out to everyone who's had to make that decision, and who will eventually have to.
posted by Mooski at 3:10 PM on October 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm in tears. Good girl, Hannah. And good on anyone who manages to summon the courage to do what's best for their best friend.
My sweet Annie is only four, but about once a year I look her in the eyes and tell her we've made a deal, and when the time comes, we will be brave together. It sounds morbid, I know, but I think telling myself now is the only way I will grasp the necessity of it when the time comes.
posted by mochapickle at 5:48 PM on October 22, 2016 [7 favorites]
My sweet Annie is only four, but about once a year I look her in the eyes and tell her we've made a deal, and when the time comes, we will be brave together. It sounds morbid, I know, but I think telling myself now is the only way I will grasp the necessity of it when the time comes.
posted by mochapickle at 5:48 PM on October 22, 2016 [7 favorites]
I knew what this was and looked anyway. Goddammit.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 9:11 PM on October 22, 2016
posted by The Hamms Bear at 9:11 PM on October 22, 2016
Automocar: I understand—"senior" is such an emotionally-laden word. Hank looks like a big dog, which probably puts his life expectancy as somewhere around 12-13 years. (Granted, not nearly long enough.)
At 7, he'll be about 45 in human terms (assuming life expectancy of 80), and 45 year old humans are still 5 years shy of being eligible for AARP membership., so merely "middle-aged".
Who's a good dog? You are, Hank. You're a good dog.
posted by she's not there at 11:29 AM on October 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
At 7, he'll be about 45 in human terms (assuming life expectancy of 80), and 45 year old humans are still 5 years shy of being eligible for AARP membership., so merely "middle-aged".
Who's a good dog? You are, Hank. You're a good dog.
posted by she's not there at 11:29 AM on October 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm not looking at this, I'm afraid...
Mrs 43rd and I have an agreement: she takes point on dealing with traumas associated with children and aged parents, but I am the one who does the Last Trip to the Vet. Six cats so far (including my beloved Fosdyke at age 23, who lived with me for most of my adult life) and two dogs, and it never gets easier.
Each time I wonder if I can face having another pet, but somehow we always do.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 2:08 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
Mrs 43rd and I have an agreement: she takes point on dealing with traumas associated with children and aged parents, but I am the one who does the Last Trip to the Vet. Six cats so far (including my beloved Fosdyke at age 23, who lived with me for most of my adult life) and two dogs, and it never gets easier.
Each time I wonder if I can face having another pet, but somehow we always do.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 2:08 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
A haiku for 7/21/16:
Goodnight Dear Marko.
See you on the other side.
I won't forget you.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 2:26 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
Goodnight Dear Marko.
See you on the other side.
I won't forget you.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 2:26 PM on October 24, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yeah - my dogs all understand they're not allowed to get older, but they're stubborn and refuse to listen out of spite.
Also, I really, really appreciate that I'm in a position to have a home euthanasia service come by for our gang's needs. The vet who does the call service is really really amazing and kind and compassionate and I have not a clue how she handles the burden of it.
posted by drewbage1847 at 4:50 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, I really, really appreciate that I'm in a position to have a home euthanasia service come by for our gang's needs. The vet who does the call service is really really amazing and kind and compassionate and I have not a clue how she handles the burden of it.
posted by drewbage1847 at 4:50 PM on October 24, 2016 [1 favorite]
Crosbie, veteran of numerous meetups, notable also for having slept with at least one mod, turned up right after I landed in California, twelve and a half years ago. My stuff was still in boxes, I was painting my place, and I really hadn't reckoned with getting a dog quite that soon. But he was obviously a great dog and I knew we'd figure it out.
A couple of months ago he refused dinner for the first time ever, and sort of collapsed; it took three days of vet trips to figure out that he had a hemangiosarcoma in his heart, which had leaked so much fluid into his pericardium that the x-ray showed a cantaloupe where his heart was supposed to be.
We (and I really mean we; it was late at night, and at this practice, you can be around for any procedure you can stomach) tapped his pericardium. The vet operated the probe, a tech managed a sort of syringe valve, and I held his head. We got nearly half a litre of fluid out of there. That assured him a few comfortable days.
So I took the rest of the week off work. Crosbie's favorite thing was being around people, asked all my local to stop over, even for just a few minutes, to shower him with attention. I set up an Instacart account so I wouldn't have to leave the house unless he felt like going for a walk.
On his last day, Lisa and Jasmine, who'd originally found him as a stray, drove in from Modesto, along with Lisa's ex, their son, and their great big dog Vino. We sat around telling stories. I made chocolate chip cookies. I'm a so-so baker, but he'd never had any before, so by his frame of reference they were awesome.
posted by tangerine at 5:20 PM on October 24, 2016 [4 favorites]
A couple of months ago he refused dinner for the first time ever, and sort of collapsed; it took three days of vet trips to figure out that he had a hemangiosarcoma in his heart, which had leaked so much fluid into his pericardium that the x-ray showed a cantaloupe where his heart was supposed to be.
We (and I really mean we; it was late at night, and at this practice, you can be around for any procedure you can stomach) tapped his pericardium. The vet operated the probe, a tech managed a sort of syringe valve, and I held his head. We got nearly half a litre of fluid out of there. That assured him a few comfortable days.
So I took the rest of the week off work. Crosbie's favorite thing was being around people, asked all my local to stop over, even for just a few minutes, to shower him with attention. I set up an Instacart account so I wouldn't have to leave the house unless he felt like going for a walk.
On his last day, Lisa and Jasmine, who'd originally found him as a stray, drove in from Modesto, along with Lisa's ex, their son, and their great big dog Vino. We sat around telling stories. I made chocolate chip cookies. I'm a so-so baker, but he'd never had any before, so by his frame of reference they were awesome.
posted by tangerine at 5:20 PM on October 24, 2016 [4 favorites]
Aww, sorry for your loss. Crosbie was obviously happy and loved.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:52 PM on October 24, 2016
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:52 PM on October 24, 2016
"I don't know what we did to deserve dogs." That was beautiful and sad at the same time, bibliowench.
posted by samelborp at 4:18 AM on October 25, 2016
posted by samelborp at 4:18 AM on October 25, 2016
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(dissolves into wracking sobs)
posted by kimberussell at 7:00 AM on October 22, 2016 [9 favorites]