Couldn't he have just bought a fancy car to impress the ladies?

April 13, 2002 1:06 AM

Couldn't he have just bought a fancy car to impress the ladies? A Minnesota Police Chief is now the owner of nine counts of criminal arson, all in the name of impressing the honeys. At first, nobody really knew how the fire happened. Apparently, he lit the buildings on fire with the intentions of going in and saving his ex-girl, who lives in one of the buildings. This chick must have been somethin' else. I'm betting the business owners and historical society in the community would be impassioned enough to want to go light up his house in a heartbeat. I'd say he ought to be due for some good old fashioned time at the Gray Bar Hotel, if he gets any. I shudder to think what cellmates do to cops in prison! Then there's This dude!. Can't you go scuba-diving in Key West, like everyone else, man? Where are our heroes, nowadays?
posted by beejaywhy2k (6 comments total)

Where are our heroes, nowadays?

Golfing, I think. When I was a kid, my hero was No. 32, Orenthal James Simpson. I remember my football coach telling us the inspiring story of a kid from the projects, so malnourished that he sufferred from Ricketts, but through determination and hard work......etc.
posted by planetkyoto at 1:34 AM on April 13, 2002

Please tell me there's a picture of the scuba guy. Better yet, security cam video.
posted by nathan_teske at 2:55 AM on April 13, 2002

Apparently, he lit the buildings on fire with the intentions of going in and saving his ex-girl, who lives in one of the buildings. This chick must have been somethin' else.

Either that or he's read the first chapter of Scott Spencer's Endless Love.
posted by dobbs at 10:40 AM on April 13, 2002

The Lanesboro City Council plans to meet today to decide what to do about Tuchek's employment.

Uh... I dunno, make him a congressman?
posted by HTuttle at 10:43 AM on April 13, 2002

Too proactive for congress, I think.
Maybe if he had a little Nyquil.
posted by dong_resin at 11:00 AM on April 13, 2002

Please tell me there's a picture of the scuba guy. Better yet, security cam video.

I dunno...I couldn't find any...but here is the article on his sentencing. In it, they describe the guy as suffering from some sort of shell shock for years, saying his experience in the Persian Gulf led to flashbacks, and depression and he was taking meds for it.

Also, an update on John Tuchek's case (the police chief charged w/arson), they have arrested him and if he posts bail he has to stay out of that town, can't leave the state and can't possess firearms. His court date isn't until ten days from now, who knows what he'll face.
posted by beejaywhy2k at 11:25 AM on April 13, 2002