Downtown Tom
November 5, 2016 12:43 PM Subscribe
ok but for reals the audio transcript with (gobble) asides is the greatest thing i have seen in a long time
posted by poffin boffin at 12:46 PM on November 5, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 12:46 PM on November 5, 2016 [23 favorites]
"Be the dominant species, essentially."
But what if the turkey doesn't agree with that?
posted by Kevin Street at 12:51 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
But what if the turkey doesn't agree with that?
posted by Kevin Street at 12:51 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
Serious serious problem in Boston area.
posted by sammyo at 1:24 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 1:24 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
The solution isn't that difficult...
The swans on our lake will frequently attack jet skis, especially white jet skis.
posted by HuronBob at 1:39 PM on November 5, 2016
The swans on our lake will frequently attack jet skis, especially white jet skis.
posted by HuronBob at 1:39 PM on November 5, 2016
You guys are making jokes, but some of us have family in Davis.
You know, Davis not so that we can have Bird Thunderdome.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:56 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
You know, Davis not so that we can have Bird Thunderdome.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:56 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
Caller: "And this was like, it was attacking, pretty much attacking a guy."
Residents are nonplussed.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:09 PM on November 5, 2016
Residents are nonplussed.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:09 PM on November 5, 2016
Serious serious problem in Boston area.
No kidding! I've seen plenty of news stories here about them in herds attacking small children at bus stops in the morning. We have one on campus and I give it a wide berth.
posted by pangolin party at 2:20 PM on November 5, 2016
No kidding! I've seen plenty of news stories here about them in herds attacking small children at bus stops in the morning. We have one on campus and I give it a wide berth.
posted by pangolin party at 2:20 PM on November 5, 2016
Maybe it's a good thing that these individuals, and the community of Davis in general, lack the will to simply kill this bird. I'm not making a value judgement either way. But this is precisely the kind of situation that makes rural conservatives disregard anything coastal liberals have to say about pretty much anything.
posted by Krawczak at 2:20 PM on November 5, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Krawczak at 2:20 PM on November 5, 2016 [8 favorites]
i mean in general? yes? it's pretty good for humans to not just kill things that are mildly inconveniencing them. sorry that goes against your values i guess.
posted by poffin boffin at 2:30 PM on November 5, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 2:30 PM on November 5, 2016 [12 favorites]
Laugh it up jerks! I work in an office near the American River in Sacramento and this struggle is all too real.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 2:31 PM on November 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Senor Cardgage at 2:31 PM on November 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
Turkeys are the worst. I wish there was a Thanksgiving every week.
posted by clorox at 2:33 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by clorox at 2:33 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
I lived in an apartment complex a few years ago that had a single, lone Chinese goose. He would stand outside every morning on the corner opposite a school bus stop and just literally scream at the children. He never approached them, and they learned to carry on about their business, but it was the funniest sight, him standing in a spot 15 feet away, staring, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was an asshole but I loved him.
posted by FirstMateKate at 2:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [18 favorites]
posted by FirstMateKate at 2:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [18 favorites]
Zelda, the Battery Park turkey always seemed to keep a wide berth.
posted by double bubble at 2:44 PM on November 5, 2016
posted by double bubble at 2:44 PM on November 5, 2016
Just eat him
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016 [4 favorites]
There are more than a few wild turkeys in my area. Being a nuisance turkey in November? kind of poor timing.
Am I the only one who read it as Turkey, as in Turkey? Just me, huh.
posted by theora55 at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016
Am I the only one who read it as Turkey, as in Turkey? Just me, huh.
posted by theora55 at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016
I used to work in Terra Linda, just north of San Rafael. Our office was at the end of a dead-end street and fronted on a tidal marsh, and was surrounded by lovely landscaped grounds. All of this was very attractive to the local turkeys, who would cause weekly-ish traffic jams by just hanging out in the middle of the street and then surrounding the cars of those of us trying to get to our various office buildings. No one was ever chastised for being late to work because turkeys.
I was super-surprised to see one on Mass Ave in Harvard Square when I was in Boston a few years ago, though. No one else was.
posted by rtha at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
I was super-surprised to see one on Mass Ave in Harvard Square when I was in Boston a few years ago, though. No one else was.
posted by rtha at 2:54 PM on November 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Maybe when Obama pardons his last Turkey this year it can be a kind of prisoner swap. One turkey lives, but the jive turkey of Davis, California, ends up on a dinner table.
posted by dis_integration at 3:12 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 3:12 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
Re: Boston-area turkeys. In general, we co-exist well with our turkeys. Why, one neighborhood has even given their turkey a name. The main exception is the leafy suburb of Brookline, which is where turkeys run amok and attack mailmen and even the town dog catcher, fly into people's homes and wreak havoc, terrorize tiny tots, face off with cars, etc. Some residents have demanded action. In 2013, Brookline police reported having to fire their weapons just twice: Once during the hunt for the remaining Boston Marathon bomber and once to fire a beanbag at a Tom terrorizing one neighborhood.
posted by adamg at 3:13 PM on November 5, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by adamg at 3:13 PM on November 5, 2016 [6 favorites]
Oh, and another time, I was on my way to my sister's for dinner, I had a bunch of things I was taking, including spice cake. So I set the cake on the roof to get things, and forgot the cake on the roof. It stayed on there until I went to pull out of the parking lot, and hit that little ditch were the exit meets the road, and the pyrex dish went flying off and clattered in the middle of the street, cake spattering on everything. The goose came out of nowhere and yelled at me for it while I was cleaning it up.
posted by FirstMateKate at 3:14 PM on November 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by FirstMateKate at 3:14 PM on November 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
My college campus had free roaming peacocks and they really give turkeys a run for their money in the Actual Worst department.
posted by soren_lorensen at 3:28 PM on November 5, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by soren_lorensen at 3:28 PM on November 5, 2016 [8 favorites]
All of this was very attractive to the local turkeys, who would cause weekly-ish traffic jams by just hanging out in the middle of the street and then surrounding the cars of those of us trying to get to our various office buildings.
I have found if you slowly crawl up to them and nudge them with the bumper, they will, grudgingly, move out of the way.
Toms on the prowl, on the other hand, tend to see this as a challenge.
posted by madajb at 3:39 PM on November 5, 2016
I have found if you slowly crawl up to them and nudge them with the bumper, they will, grudgingly, move out of the way.
Toms on the prowl, on the other hand, tend to see this as a challenge.
posted by madajb at 3:39 PM on November 5, 2016
Turkey menacing California town.
First reaction: Now Erdogan is going too far!
posted by sour cream at 3:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [12 favorites]
First reaction: Now Erdogan is going too far!
posted by sour cream at 3:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [12 favorites]
The latest report of fowl deeds in Brookline: "Someone called to report five turkeys were chasing a postal worker near the corner of Blake and Somerset roads."
posted by adamg at 3:42 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by adamg at 3:42 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
Downtown Tom sounds like a characters from a Tom Waits song from the 80s.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:49 PM on November 5, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:49 PM on November 5, 2016 [16 favorites]
Now I'm picturing a turkey holding up a lamp post with a porkpie hat tipped down way over its beak, a bunch of cigarette butts scattered around its feet.
posted by detachd at 4:19 PM on November 5, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by detachd at 4:19 PM on November 5, 2016 [11 favorites]
it's pretty good for humans to not just kill things that are mildly inconveniencing them. sorry that goes against your values i guess.
Like I said, it doesn't go against my values. But let's be real here. This is a story about people literally calling 911 because they are unwilling/unable to fight back against a kind of bird that they are later this month going to [have someone] kill [on their behalf], only to throw away half the meat. I brought it up in jest, but as we laugh at the dramatic irony of role reversal and at the hapless shoppers who can't defend themselves against a bird, it's a good moment for we educated, empathetic cosmopolitans to come close to grokking the mindset of the half of the country that reads us as and our values as weak, dependent, hypocritical, and incompetent.
posted by Krawczak at 4:25 PM on November 5, 2016 [11 favorites]
Like I said, it doesn't go against my values. But let's be real here. This is a story about people literally calling 911 because they are unwilling/unable to fight back against a kind of bird that they are later this month going to [have someone] kill [on their behalf], only to throw away half the meat. I brought it up in jest, but as we laugh at the dramatic irony of role reversal and at the hapless shoppers who can't defend themselves against a bird, it's a good moment for we educated, empathetic cosmopolitans to come close to grokking the mindset of the half of the country that reads us as and our values as weak, dependent, hypocritical, and incompetent.
posted by Krawczak at 4:25 PM on November 5, 2016 [11 favorites]
Well, the last person I know who tried to tangle with a wild turkey only lost half a pint of blood, $29.00, and an alligator purse.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:26 PM on November 5, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:26 PM on November 5, 2016 [13 favorites]
adamg hasn't mentioned the best part. There's a commentor on his UniversalHub news blog called Turkey Liberation Front, who routinely expresses the turkeys' viewpoint, complete with predictions of their coming world domination.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:27 PM on November 5, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:27 PM on November 5, 2016 [9 favorites]
Too bad this guy left town. He knew how to handle a threatening situation.
posted by cyborgriffin at 4:53 PM on November 5, 2016
posted by cyborgriffin at 4:53 PM on November 5, 2016
"Be the dominant species, essentially," McNerney said. "Don't let it intimidate you, which can be difficult for some folks."
I really can't quite imagine doing my turkey dance* in public, but involves 1) being really annoyed that the tom is chasing me around the coop; 2) putting hands on hips and saying "Listen, motherfucker, you don't chase me, I CHASE YOU"; and lunging in his direction until he flees.
* Alternate dance includes throwing myself to the ground in an effort to catch the bird, missing, and muttering "Motherfucker." I have to catch eight turkeys next week.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:55 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
I really can't quite imagine doing my turkey dance* in public, but involves 1) being really annoyed that the tom is chasing me around the coop; 2) putting hands on hips and saying "Listen, motherfucker, you don't chase me, I CHASE YOU"; and lunging in his direction until he flees.
* Alternate dance includes throwing myself to the ground in an effort to catch the bird, missing, and muttering "Motherfucker." I have to catch eight turkeys next week.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:55 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
Flocks of wild turkeys hang out and nest around the bike trail/river near my house, and you really don't want to come up suddenly on a hen with chicks while walking your dogs. Ask me how I know. We turn right the hell around if I glimpse anything remotely resembling a turkey since those run-ins are actually scarier than the time I was riding my bike down the trail and an escaped 500-pound hog ambled past.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:49 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:49 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
I kind of like thinking about turkeys getting their revenge on.
posted by soakimbo at 6:57 PM on November 5, 2016
posted by soakimbo at 6:57 PM on November 5, 2016
This is MY neighborhood. How cool we get a story that isn't a crime story (for a change.)
We keep asking "where are all the hungry coyotes?" We used to have them cruising around a lot, but I've seen fewer lately.
posted by cccorlew at 7:54 PM on November 5, 2016
We keep asking "where are all the hungry coyotes?" We used to have them cruising around a lot, but I've seen fewer lately.
posted by cccorlew at 7:54 PM on November 5, 2016
Whoops. I thought that was this story about an Antioch (we're an hour away from Davis) turkey invasion.
They're EVERYWHERE....
posted by cccorlew at 7:57 PM on November 5, 2016
They're EVERYWHERE....
posted by cccorlew at 7:57 PM on November 5, 2016
The Turkey Liberation Front account has been active for 2 years & 8 months, that a lot of dedication to the cause!
posted by Harpocrates at 8:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Harpocrates at 8:39 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
Some possibly helpful advice from neighbors to the north who have to deal with menacing Canadian geese.
posted by bartleby at 9:10 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by bartleby at 9:10 PM on November 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
He's lucky he's a turkey. Imagine what would happen to a person of color doing the exact same thing.
posted by The Toad at 9:21 PM on November 5, 2016
posted by The Toad at 9:21 PM on November 5, 2016
Most low-budget Steven King movie ever.
posted by happyroach at 9:53 PM on November 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by happyroach at 9:53 PM on November 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Good news! The turkeys were internationally introduced.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:03 PM on November 5, 2016
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:03 PM on November 5, 2016
Cyborgriffin, go on then, try pepper-spraying a bird and report back to us how it goes.
posted by ryanrs at 11:08 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by ryanrs at 11:08 PM on November 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
i mean in general? yes? it's pretty good for humans to not just kill things that are mildly inconveniencing them. sorry that goes against your values i guess.
In California they are a non-native species. They were originally introduced not out of conservation concern, but for hunters to have something to shoot at. Their impact on native plants and animals is unknown.
I personally do not believe being both delicious and a huge asshole is a good evolutionary trait.
posted by bradbane at 11:56 PM on November 5, 2016 [10 favorites]
In California they are a non-native species. They were originally introduced not out of conservation concern, but for hunters to have something to shoot at. Their impact on native plants and animals is unknown.
I personally do not believe being both delicious and a huge asshole is a good evolutionary trait.
posted by bradbane at 11:56 PM on November 5, 2016 [10 favorites]
it's a good moment for we educated, empathetic cosmopolitans to come close to grokking the mindset of the half of the country that reads us as and our values as weak, dependent, hypocritical, and incompetent.
Do you think we're somehow not aware that half of this country's solution to every problem is to shoot at it with your concealed carry weapon?
posted by danny the boy at 1:03 AM on November 6, 2016
Do you think we're somehow not aware that half of this country's solution to every problem is to shoot at it with your concealed carry weapon?
posted by danny the boy at 1:03 AM on November 6, 2016
I live nearby, but on the other side of the river. Turkeys seem to roost in the tall trees in my neighborhood. In the mornings they come down and walk around -- they pass me in my front yard, just a couple feet away, oblivious, continuing their stroll down the street. I want to throw a net over one, and have it for Thanksgiving (but it looks like we'll be going to a restaurant this year, instead).
posted by Rash at 8:43 AM on November 6, 2016
posted by Rash at 8:43 AM on November 6, 2016
it's a good moment for we educated, empathetic cosmopolitans to come close to grokking the mindset of the half of the country that reads us as and our values as weak, dependent, hypocritical, and incompetent.
Sort of the mental equivalent of pig wrestling.
posted by fleacircus at 8:45 AM on November 6, 2016
Sort of the mental equivalent of pig wrestling.
posted by fleacircus at 8:45 AM on November 6, 2016
The argument against shooting suburban turkeys is all the people in proximity that you could also easily kill if your bullets go astray, not some weakness inherent to liberalism.
posted by emjaybee at 8:59 AM on November 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 8:59 AM on November 6, 2016 [7 favorites]
From what I hear from people I know who have hunted wild turkeys, they don't taste very good. If there is a difference between rural and urban reactions to wildlife that I've observed, it's mostly along the lines of, wow, how beautiful, a deer! And look at that fat buck! Yum!
I remember being terrorized as a child by a particularly aggressive domestic goose. It was the same size as me, and one time it chased me under an electric fence, where I promptly was zapped. Birds can be scary!
I love the irony of Downtown Tom messing with people around our turkey-eating-centric holiday.
posted by branravenraven at 9:32 AM on November 6, 2016
I remember being terrorized as a child by a particularly aggressive domestic goose. It was the same size as me, and one time it chased me under an electric fence, where I promptly was zapped. Birds can be scary!
I love the irony of Downtown Tom messing with people around our turkey-eating-centric holiday.
posted by branravenraven at 9:32 AM on November 6, 2016
it's a good moment for we educated, empathetic cosmopolitans to come close to grokking the mindset of the half of the country that reads us as and our values as weak, dependent, hypocritical, and incompetent
We can laugh at the hypocrisy of people not being willing to kill a menace bird when probably only half of them are vegetarians, but these kind of stupid animal stories can happen everywhere. Being able to kill animals for food or sport doesn't mean that you can't also be fond of or compassionate towards animals! I know, it's weird.
Making this an "us" versus "them" issue doesn't actually provide much insight into different mindsets, I don't think.
(It's also weird to read MeFi and realize you've been put in the "them" box by default.)
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:03 PM on November 6, 2016
We can laugh at the hypocrisy of people not being willing to kill a menace bird when probably only half of them are vegetarians, but these kind of stupid animal stories can happen everywhere. Being able to kill animals for food or sport doesn't mean that you can't also be fond of or compassionate towards animals! I know, it's weird.
Making this an "us" versus "them" issue doesn't actually provide much insight into different mindsets, I don't think.
(It's also weird to read MeFi and realize you've been put in the "them" box by default.)
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:03 PM on November 6, 2016
Hah, I've seen Tom harassing people and taken pictures of it.
For those people who thinks hippie liberals are too big of wimps to shoot a turkey, think of how well this would go over firing off a gun in the downtown next to a bank.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:29 PM on November 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
For those people who thinks hippie liberals are too big of wimps to shoot a turkey, think of how well this would go over firing off a gun in the downtown next to a bank.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:29 PM on November 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I work in Davis. I have met this turkey.
Maybe 8 months ago I was on my way home from work. I was stopped at a red light on the west edge of town, where the highway divides town from the fields. I was the fourth car back in the rightmost of the two lanes. While the light was red, the woman in the first car in my lane opened her door and got out of her car. I prepared to honk, because COME ON lady. She went around to the passenger side of her car and started yelling and waving her arms. I wondered if there was a fender bender that I'd somehow missed seeing. After standing there and yelling for a bit -- the light had turned green by this time -- she got in her car and drove off, swerving into the left lane as she did. I was thinking, Wow. Crazy woman. The the car behind her began moving, and swerved left. The car in front of me, same thing. And when I got to the crosswalk, I saw The Turkey, standing there, mute and immobile, staring down each of our hood ornaments.
Now, I'm a huge animal person. My first instinct was extreme sympathy for this lone turkey. I immediately began imagining his sadness, his despair, at having been separated from his flock. (I think it's actually a female, but hey, the pressed has named it, so there you go.) As it was my turn to swerve around The Turkey, I had to very sternly say to myself, "You will not try to capture this turkey and put it in your backseat and take it to the flock a few fields away. [I see them every morning on the way to work.] You will not do that. Keep driving." So I kept driving.
About a month later, same intersection, same lane, traffic moved through the intersection verrrrry slowly when the light turned green. When I got close to the light, there was The Turkey. It was standing in the bike lane this time instead of in the middle of the street. But -- and I swear I'm not making this up -- it craned its neck and peered very purposefully into the passenger seat of every single car that passed. Mine included. The Turkey saw me. Looked me in the eye. I was unnerved.
Several weeks later, I had to leave work in the middle of the day to run an errand. I park in a large lot. As I approached my car from the rear and rounded the corner to get to the driver's door, there was The Turkey. It had been laying down between my car and the car next to it. It looked at me. I looked at it. It slowly rose. I waved my backpack at it. It took a few perfunctory steps and stopped. I waved my hands over my head and advanced. The Turkey strolled around my front bumper. We went on this way, circling my car three times, until Turkey got bored and went and sat somewhere else. I was the crazy lady that day, my friends, seemingly pacing and gesturing and yelling at a turkey that, in between the cars, could not have been visible to observers.
I'm actually a little proud that The Turkey has graduated to harassing folks downtown. The Turkey has definitely upped her game. I hope they don't execute her -- there are plenty of flocks on the edges of town that they could deliver her to. Anyway, I knew her way back then. I survived. I didn't call for any emergency responders, I tell you what.
What the news reports have failed to mention is that this is a problem of Davisites' own creation. The first flock of turkeys that moved into town, probably 10 years ago or so, lived in the cemetery, which at the time also served as the city dog park. (There's some extra land.) People started feeding the turkeys because OH HEY, CEMETERY TURKEYS, which eventually led to the problem of the hungry, dependent, and emboldened turkeys approaching mourners at funerals. They eventually got them cleared out of the cemetery, and they've been multiplying and expanding ever since. But anyway, you caused the problem, people. The turkey shouldn't be beheaded because of it.
posted by mudpuppie at 5:30 PM on November 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
Maybe 8 months ago I was on my way home from work. I was stopped at a red light on the west edge of town, where the highway divides town from the fields. I was the fourth car back in the rightmost of the two lanes. While the light was red, the woman in the first car in my lane opened her door and got out of her car. I prepared to honk, because COME ON lady. She went around to the passenger side of her car and started yelling and waving her arms. I wondered if there was a fender bender that I'd somehow missed seeing. After standing there and yelling for a bit -- the light had turned green by this time -- she got in her car and drove off, swerving into the left lane as she did. I was thinking, Wow. Crazy woman. The the car behind her began moving, and swerved left. The car in front of me, same thing. And when I got to the crosswalk, I saw The Turkey, standing there, mute and immobile, staring down each of our hood ornaments.
Now, I'm a huge animal person. My first instinct was extreme sympathy for this lone turkey. I immediately began imagining his sadness, his despair, at having been separated from his flock. (I think it's actually a female, but hey, the pressed has named it, so there you go.) As it was my turn to swerve around The Turkey, I had to very sternly say to myself, "You will not try to capture this turkey and put it in your backseat and take it to the flock a few fields away. [I see them every morning on the way to work.] You will not do that. Keep driving." So I kept driving.
About a month later, same intersection, same lane, traffic moved through the intersection verrrrry slowly when the light turned green. When I got close to the light, there was The Turkey. It was standing in the bike lane this time instead of in the middle of the street. But -- and I swear I'm not making this up -- it craned its neck and peered very purposefully into the passenger seat of every single car that passed. Mine included. The Turkey saw me. Looked me in the eye. I was unnerved.
Several weeks later, I had to leave work in the middle of the day to run an errand. I park in a large lot. As I approached my car from the rear and rounded the corner to get to the driver's door, there was The Turkey. It had been laying down between my car and the car next to it. It looked at me. I looked at it. It slowly rose. I waved my backpack at it. It took a few perfunctory steps and stopped. I waved my hands over my head and advanced. The Turkey strolled around my front bumper. We went on this way, circling my car three times, until Turkey got bored and went and sat somewhere else. I was the crazy lady that day, my friends, seemingly pacing and gesturing and yelling at a turkey that, in between the cars, could not have been visible to observers.
I'm actually a little proud that The Turkey has graduated to harassing folks downtown. The Turkey has definitely upped her game. I hope they don't execute her -- there are plenty of flocks on the edges of town that they could deliver her to. Anyway, I knew her way back then. I survived. I didn't call for any emergency responders, I tell you what.
What the news reports have failed to mention is that this is a problem of Davisites' own creation. The first flock of turkeys that moved into town, probably 10 years ago or so, lived in the cemetery, which at the time also served as the city dog park. (There's some extra land.) People started feeding the turkeys because OH HEY, CEMETERY TURKEYS, which eventually led to the problem of the hungry, dependent, and emboldened turkeys approaching mourners at funerals. They eventually got them cleared out of the cemetery, and they've been multiplying and expanding ever since. But anyway, you caused the problem, people. The turkey shouldn't be beheaded because of it.
posted by mudpuppie at 5:30 PM on November 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
I suspect mudpuppie is correct about the feeding causing the aggression. I can see people in Brookline, or in any urban area, feeding them. I live in a a nearly rural area, and there is a flock of turkeys that roams around here. They've spent time in my back yard. One day, driving my daughter to school, the car ahead stopped, because the turkeys were crossing the road. Trouble was, they weren't continuing on after crossing; they were recrossing at random. After a couple of minutes of this, I decided to exercise my dominant-species privilege, and drove around the waiting car. I didn't go fast, but I didn't creep, either. The turkeys got out of the way. The waiting car followed my example, and the birds cleared the road. I'm not advocating running over Tom, but he's learned that he can get away with standing in the road and fronting down cars, at least at some traffic lights. I bet if some drivers just slowly but inexorably drove forward, he would learn a different lesson, without being physically harmed.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:01 AM on November 7, 2016
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:01 AM on November 7, 2016
So glad I did not miss a good turkey terror thread. I have come to both respect and fear these creatures.
For a few years we had a few families of them at my condo complex while it was under construction. I would sometimes see them when I walked to get my mail early in the morning. One day I got chased home, rather terrifying and I developed a fear of going to the mailbox. They are fast runners and improbable as it seems, they can fly at you.
I fell down a rabbit hole of Googling and watching turkey attack videos. The more accustomed to people they get, the bolder they are. They have pretty sharp feet so you do not want to get kicked and their wings are very strong. Plus, the males will try to jump on your back, that is what male turkeys do to show dominance. They are huge birds up close, you do not one of these sharp-clawed, evil disposition critters on your back.
I adopted one piece of advice that seemed good - carry an umbrella and you can open it to be between you and them; if you open & close it quickly, it is sort of a show of dominance. I have a giant golf umbrella by my door and rain or shine, when I walk to get the mail or walk around the complex, I take it. I was amused to learn that some neighbors who don't know me referred to me as "that woman who carries an umbrella everywhere." Oh the unsuspecting innocence!
I posted another amusing turkey anecdote in a prior thread along with some attack clips. Fortunately, I have not been chased again.
posted by madamjujujive at 2:30 PM on November 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
For a few years we had a few families of them at my condo complex while it was under construction. I would sometimes see them when I walked to get my mail early in the morning. One day I got chased home, rather terrifying and I developed a fear of going to the mailbox. They are fast runners and improbable as it seems, they can fly at you.
I fell down a rabbit hole of Googling and watching turkey attack videos. The more accustomed to people they get, the bolder they are. They have pretty sharp feet so you do not want to get kicked and their wings are very strong. Plus, the males will try to jump on your back, that is what male turkeys do to show dominance. They are huge birds up close, you do not one of these sharp-clawed, evil disposition critters on your back.
I adopted one piece of advice that seemed good - carry an umbrella and you can open it to be between you and them; if you open & close it quickly, it is sort of a show of dominance. I have a giant golf umbrella by my door and rain or shine, when I walk to get the mail or walk around the complex, I take it. I was amused to learn that some neighbors who don't know me referred to me as "that woman who carries an umbrella everywhere." Oh the unsuspecting innocence!
I posted another amusing turkey anecdote in a prior thread along with some attack clips. Fortunately, I have not been chased again.
posted by madamjujujive at 2:30 PM on November 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The turkey shouldn't be beheaded because of it.
Well, no. It should be beheaded because it is delicious.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:43 PM on November 7, 2016
Well, no. It should be beheaded because it is delicious.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:43 PM on November 7, 2016
I adopted one piece of advice that seemed good - carry an umbrella and you can open it to be between you and them; if you open & close it quickly, it is sort of a show of dominance.
Good idea -- that's probably the closest humans can get to a feather-puffing and wing-flapping display, unless you happen to be wearing a poncho or opera cape.
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:41 PM on November 7, 2016
Good idea -- that's probably the closest humans can get to a feather-puffing and wing-flapping display, unless you happen to be wearing a poncho or opera cape.
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:41 PM on November 7, 2016
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posted by poffin boffin at 12:45 PM on November 5, 2016 [5 favorites]