"ssssssssss"

November 18, 2016 6:08 PM

Giant Roaches Can Grow Big Testicles When They Need Them. Regrettably, yet fascinatingly, true.
posted by duffell (23 comments total)

cortex pls delete metafilter right away
posted by poffin boffin at 6:16 PM on November 18, 2016 [28 favorites]

I love this and hate this.
posted by desuetude at 6:26 PM on November 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

> While the headline implies this is Giant Nads on Demand, the study clarifies that nad size does not fluctuate once the roach reaches its adult molt, so take some comfort in that.

i feel so much better now.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 6:44 PM on November 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Five comments in without an AC/DC reference.

WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME, METAFILTER?!?!?
posted by yhbc at 7:01 PM on November 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

You know what they say about big horns, right?

Right?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:03 PM on November 18, 2016

This is not Best Of The Web. This is Most Nightmare Inducing Of The Web. You want bizarrouniverse.metafilter.com.
posted by hippybear at 7:07 PM on November 18, 2016

This was probably a thing before 2016 but I'm gonna blame it on 2016 anyway.
posted by asteria at 7:12 PM on November 18, 2016 [8 favorites]

It's the best nightmare inducement of the Web.
posted by Bringer Tom at 7:52 PM on November 18, 2016

Wait, did you folks all miss the part where she explains how the roaches have a special "hey, baby" seduction hissssssss? Is that not just the sweetest thing ever? Evolution has favoured the roach that takes the time to make a little romance. They're like the Barry Whites of the cockroach world.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 8:02 PM on November 18, 2016 [11 favorites]

Not sure if the headline is a nature story or a proverb I haven't heard before.
posted by w0mbat at 8:18 PM on November 18, 2016

Omg I was just watching a clip from Pom Poko (A Studio Ghibli film about Tanuki) and this popped up

It's like the universe really wants me to pay attention to creatures with unnaturally sized balls right now
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:27 PM on November 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

I shuddered before I even clicked on that link. Now I need to go shower.
posted by rpfields at 9:13 PM on November 18, 2016

It's like the universe really wants me to pay attention to creatures with unnaturally sized balls right now

By definition these balls are not unnaturally sized. #yesI'mbeingthatguy
posted by hippybear at 9:24 PM on November 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Did they check that the feelers weren't just unnaturally small?
posted by furtive_jackanapes at 9:46 PM on November 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Dude, testicles of any size on insects = wtf zone for me so...
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:26 PM on November 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

But the real question is can they use said testicles like parachutes in the same way that the Tanuki can because that's a pretty ballsy ability if you know what I mean
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:27 PM on November 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Jeebus, Hermione, now the screaming inside my head will never stop.
posted by hippybear at 10:41 PM on November 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

The article treats the terms as interchangeable, but these animals only have testes (internal). There is nothing icle-ing.
posted by zennie at 5:18 AM on November 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

I believe they are interchangeable. 'Testicle' is from a diminutive form etymologically, but in English they're both just bollocks, so far as I know.
posted by Segundus at 2:15 PM on November 19, 2016

Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches are actually pretty cute as insects go. We used to have a small colony in the lab for show & tell when I was in grad school.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:54 PM on November 19, 2016

[extremely dad joke voice] hey, so you know what mothballs smell like?
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:32 AM on November 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

I believe they are interchangeable. 'Testicle' is from a diminutive form etymologically, but in English they're both just bollocks, so far as I know.

Hm... I guess you're right, but I don't recall seeing it used interchangeably by animal physiologists.
posted by zennie at 6:19 AM on November 20, 2016

So bigger horns for muscling the competition or bigger balls for pouring more bisquick... kind of like the choice bodybuilders make when they take steroids.
posted by e1c at 10:51 AM on November 21, 2016