Bee movie but
November 21, 2016 6:12 AM   Subscribe

 
I like how the moviemakers seem to believe that males feature prominently in colonies of apis mellifera. Also, boy bees have no stingers, because their DNA is haploid.
posted by sonascope at 6:18 AM on November 21, 2016 [37 favorites]


Guess what: haploid butt!
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:22 AM on November 21, 2016 [29 favorites]


It's crazy how I can almost hear them swear in the censored version. Why is my brain wired to hear fuck all the time? What would the evolutinary advantage be?? Is this why I can't fly under water??? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:23 AM on November 21, 2016 [8 favorites]


Yet another way to experience the wonder of The Bee Movie - as a Skyrim mod.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:25 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


What would the evolutinary advantage be??

I think you mean "Advantage Bee"
posted by Twain Device at 6:27 AM on November 21, 2016 [9 favorites]


They don't allow you to have bees in here.
posted by cmfletcher at 6:34 AM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]


Foci for Analysis: "It's crazy how I can almost hear them swear in the censored version. Why is my brain wired to hear fuck all the time?"

I am so, so sorry.
posted by schmod at 6:36 AM on November 21, 2016 [36 favorites]


I think i laughed hardest at this one
posted by Panthalassa at 6:37 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


> I like how the moviemakers seem to believe that males feature prominently in colonies of apis mellifera. Also, boy bees have no stingers, because their DNA is haploid.

Also, bees have six limbs instead of four.
posted by farlukar at 6:48 AM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also they don't speak English
posted by XMLicious at 6:51 AM on November 21, 2016 [30 favorites]


It's a common misconception
posted by XMLicious at 6:51 AM on November 21, 2016 [17 favorites]


"Bee movie, that's all you're to me"

- Elvis Costello
posted by chavenet at 6:55 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


If you're patient, and bide your time, sooner or later, this always becomes apropos...

Especially considering that I make a habit of replying with this when the conservative nonsense in my social media feeds gets too far over the line. And it pretty much starts out there these days.
posted by Naberius at 7:05 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


I avoided this movie like the plague.

I see no reason to abandon my strategy at this time.
posted by tommasz at 7:20 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


Seriously, it has always driven me up the wall that when you have an easy excuse for casting women who are comedians in a movie where they don't even have to be on the screen, people still go out of their way to actively discard common knowledge about insects and make sure that only men ever get to do anything funny.

Even "A Bug's Life" only got about halfway on this. It's maddening.
posted by Scattercat at 7:29 AM on November 21, 2016 [12 favorites]


The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster

Just don't drink the coffee.
posted by googly at 7:30 AM on November 21, 2016


Why do I find these so funny?
posted by drezdn at 7:31 AM on November 21, 2016


Also, boy bees have no stingers, because their DNA is haploid.


Oh boy, wait until ya get a load of that other animated classic... "Barnyard"...

Apparently no one in the animation department knew the difference between male and female cows...
posted by jkaczor at 7:33 AM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is it just my setup or is the beep way louder than the rest of the audio for the censored video?
posted by ODiV at 7:43 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


I would have loved to have seen the pitch meeting for Bee Movie.

"And then there's a court case! You know what kids like? LITIGATION."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:44 AM on November 21, 2016 [9 favorites]


I just heard that in Jerry Stiller's voice.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:52 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


The bee movie trailer but it's a comment on metafilter.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:55 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


I would have loved to have seen the pitch meeting for Bee Movie.

Given that it was Jerry Seinfeld coming off of Seinfeld, he literally could have pitched a remake of The Day the Clown Cried and gotten it enthusiastically approved by all the suits in the room.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:58 AM on November 21, 2016 [5 favorites]


I was worried that the "entire trailer whenever the word bee is said" would lead to infinite recursion.
posted by drezdn at 7:58 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


I would have loved to have seen the pitch meeting for Bee Movie.

The apocryphal story is that Seinfeld was talking to Spielberg and made a joke trying to be punny about "b-movies", and Spielberg loved it. Sometimes Hollywood isn't much better than 4th-graders with too much time on their hands. Edit: reference.
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:01 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Something that's always struck me is that Seinfeld always seemed to have more in common with the money guys than the creative guys.

I don't mean, BTW, that he's a Jewish guy who grew up upper middle class. I mean that (to his credit) ultimately he understands and thinks of entertainment like a business. That's one of the reasons why he's done so well.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:03 AM on November 21, 2016


"The Bee Movie with footage of Bea Arthur when ever "bee" is said."
posted by drezdn at 8:04 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


"The Bee Movie but with a Muppet singing a song about a different letter every time 'bee' is said."
"The Bee Movie but Jerry Seinfeld's voice is replaced by Gilbert Gottfried's."
"The Bee Movie trailer reenacted by an infant child in a walky chair, flinging cheerios around."
posted by ardgedee at 8:17 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Speaking of inappropriately censored versions of things.
posted by Zalzidrax at 8:22 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ooh, ooh
"The Bee Movie in 30 seconds re-enacted by bunnies"
posted by farlukar at 8:22 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


"The Bee Movie but the word 'bee' is replaced by Paul McCartney singing 'be' from 'Let It Be.'"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:39 AM on November 21, 2016 [4 favorites]




i'm waiting for the Larry David version of Bee Movie that's actually about wasps that curse a lot.
posted by mullacc at 8:41 AM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


Foci for Analysis: "It's crazy how I can almost hear them swear in the censored version. Why is my brain wired to hear fuck all the time? What would the evolutinary advantage be?? Is this why I can't fly under water??? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS"

Ever seen The Count censored? Our brains all know what a blank means; blanking bad words just brings attention to them.
posted by Mitheral at 9:23 AM on November 21, 2016


Ever seen The Count censored ?

Well yeah... it's the ne plus extra of fake censoring.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:35 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well yeah... it's the ne plus extra of fake censoring.

I am so, so sorry.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:39 AM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Jinx upon jinx upon jinx.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:00 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


The bee movie trailer but it's actually just a metafilter thread where anytime anyone posts a link to YouTube it's the Count being censored.
posted by Kabanos at 10:28 AM on November 21, 2016 [13 favorites]


Has anyone ever done this with a Sesame Street character?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:45 AM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


As the Count says, "[BLEEP.]"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:47 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


That Gaston one was pretty perfectly done, I must say.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:48 AM on November 21, 2016


Also, I would love to hear the slomo thing done to other clips. Like, perhaps, Mother, where every time Danzig sings Mother it gets slowed down a little more.

Anyway, here's a mashup with Drake.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:52 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I finished ever caring what Spielberg does again when I saw some promo reel for The BFG and so help me, he actually did that thing where he rested his chin on his laced fingers, except his index fingers were pointing straight up at the sky on either side. Then he waggled his eyebrows.
posted by Rat Spatula at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2016


Why no youtubepoop tag?
posted by effbot at 11:19 AM on November 21, 2016


I finished ever caring what Spielberg does again when I saw some promo reel for The BFG

The BFG is so ceaselessly ordinary that I was legitimately stunned, upon reaching the end of the film with my kid, to see the "Directed by Steven Spielberg" credit card. It is not a bad movie, but it is not a special or noteworthy film in any way.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:30 AM on November 21, 2016


The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster

Is this one really the full thing? I'd like to see a graph of the speed at each frame, because it didn't seem like it was taking off until about one minute from the end. Then whoosh!
posted by rollick at 12:02 PM on November 21, 2016


Wasn't the Bee Movie totally anti-labor/union? Or am I misremembering?
posted by beerbajay at 12:06 PM on November 21, 2016


The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster

Is this one really the full thing? I'd like to see a graph of the speed at each frame, because it didn't seem like it was taking off until about one minute from the end. Then whoosh!

I guess this is what the Singularity is supposed to feel like.
posted by a car full of lions at 12:48 PM on November 21, 2016


The Singularibee, as it were.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:50 PM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I like how the moviemakers seem to believe that males feature prominently in colonies of apis mellifera. Also, boy bees have no stingers, because their DNA is haploid.

To my utter shock and bewilderment, it turns out there can be diploid drones, and that eggs for them are laid by the queen at a rate of ~5% (though it can be much higher for a highly inbred colony), but workers eat the larvae right after they hatch.

Yet they are viable, and when they do reach adulthood, they produce diploid sperm!

I have a feeling some kind of genetic Hail Mary (sic!) is going on here, but a lot of details I don't know would have to be just right for that idea to work out.
posted by jamjam at 1:11 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


the ne plus extra of fake censoring.

Related: Mind rhyme/teasing rhyme, courtesy of this Ask about Miss Lucy, shaving cream, and chuckable axes.
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:13 PM on November 21, 2016


I enjoyed these very much. And then, as I poked around YouTube to find something amusing to watch before calling it a night, I stumbled across Nick and Griffin McElroy's new series, "Touch the Skyrim". The basic conceit is that Griffin loads a bunch of mods into Skyrim and takes Nick - and the viewers - on a magical play-through to discover them all.

Which, you know, is pretty great. But you're probably wondering right now why the heck I'm talking about it in a thread about the Bee Movie. Well, just watch the first episode (if you are really impatient, just skip ahead to 27:30).
posted by nubs at 8:44 PM on November 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


boy bees have no stingers, because their DNA is haploid.

Also without a stinger: Jesus Haploid Christ.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:05 AM on November 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


a little late to the game, but mandatory: The Bee Movie Trailer but Every Word is in Alphabetical Order
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:50 PM on November 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


I mostly wanna know what rate the acceleration in the full movie was at. Did it double each time? Sounded like it went a bit slower than that, but was still a geometric progression due to how it ends.
posted by cthuljew at 1:39 AM on November 23, 2016


a little late to the game, but mandatory: The Bee Movie Trailer but Every Word is in Alphabetical Order

IO9 points out that by sorting the words, you'll find the hidden message.
posted by effbot at 4:33 PM on November 24, 2016




All-Star by Smashmouth but:
- every other word is "bee" from Bee Movie and the instrumental is Seinfeld
♫ all bee glitters bee gold / bee shooting bee break bee mold ♫
posted by mbrubeck at 3:23 PM on November 30, 2016


I like how the moviemakers seem to believe that males feature prominently in colonies of apis mellifera.

Or humans!

it has always driven me up the wall that when you have an easy excuse for casting women who are comedians in a movie where they don't even have to be on the screen

See also: every character but one in the boxtrolls is male and boxtrolls are just a made up type of thing!
posted by jessamyn at 6:27 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


YouTube user Avoid at All Costs
NUFF SAID
posted by not_on_display at 10:38 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]


is this something that i would have to be a bee to understand
posted by sockermom at 11:01 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


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