April 15, 2002

8:45 AM

Oh cripes. Not again.Remember like a year or two ago when M&M/Mars switched the lime flavored Skittle with green apple? And it totally upset that harmonic flavor balance you get when you shove a handful of Skittles into your gaping maw? This time, it's much much worse. The lemon Skittle has been replaced with one of nine white Mystery Flavors! Guess all nine and get a "FREE CHEW THE CLUE^TM Screensaver."

Jesus Christ. Quit screwing with my candy, people.

Warning: site saturated with #FFFF00. May cause blindness.
posted by andnbsp (43 comments total)

The path of the candy lover is beset on all sides by the inequities of the marketers and the tyranny of evil candymakers. Blessed is he, who in the name of sweet yet tangy, fruity goodness, shepherds the Skittles™ through the valley of lame-ass contests and promotions, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the champion of My three o'clock snack. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to alter and upset this flavorful blend. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.*
posted by jpoulos at 9:46 AM on April 15, 2002

Skittles are nasty no matter what color they are.
posted by jjg at 10:07 AM on April 15, 2002

Quit screwing with my candy, people.

Tell me about it, I'm still upset about the fact that they seem to have discontinued Reese's Cookie Cup Mianiatures, possibly the perfect confection.

posted by jonmc at 10:17 AM on April 15, 2002

I'm still upset about the fact that they seem to have discontinued Reese's Cookie Cup Miniatures, possibly the perfect confection.
They still have them at some movie theatres here. Of course, no telling how old those are . . .
posted by sixdifferentways at 10:20 AM on April 15, 2002

yep, rendered blind
posted by monkeyJuice at 10:46 AM on April 15, 2002

You should only eat skittles one at a time anway. I'm really not that big of a Skittles fan though. Sweet Tarts are where it at. They have also switched out the green for green apple, but I quite like it. The only thing that pisses me off is the lack of purple sweet tarts in each package. Purple is by far, the best flavor, yet in some packs, i've only recieved one. It fucking sucks.
posted by corpse at 10:58 AM on April 15, 2002

I prefer the dual Sweet Tart/Spree attack. A mouth-puckering Tart followed by the sweet-candy-shell and-chalky-tart-innard Spree is sublime. Then I eat both rolls in one sitting and get a nasty sore on my tongue....ah well.
posted by jalexei at 11:05 AM on April 15, 2002

Then I eat both rolls in one sitting and get a nasty sore on my tongue....ah well.

Kinda like Cap'n Crunch and Fruity Pebbles, where your mouth gets cut to shreds. But it's a pain worth bearing for that noblest of causes, the sugar rush!

*ahem*

I really really dig the big fat Chewy Sweet Tarts that you get to smack really hard into tiny lil pieces before you eat them. Chewy Sprees are aces, too. Hard candy makes my teef hurt.
posted by andnbsp at 11:17 AM on April 15, 2002

It's all about the Chewy Spee. We decided recently that would make them 'da its' right?

I'm partial to the Mini Chewy Spree, actually. they're easier to carry around.

And thanks jpoulos for the tirade which very nearly caused me to spit froot loop milk out of my nose. And add Froot Loops not only to the cereals which extract a predetermined amount of flesh from your mouthular area, but add them to the list of stuff that shouldn't be screwed with and yet has been. They added marshmallows, dammit! That shit ain't right.
posted by verso at 11:32 AM on April 15, 2002

Damn... the lime and lemon flavors were my favorites. What am I and my dentist going to do now?
posted by gyc at 11:43 AM on April 15, 2002

I, for one, vote Lik-A-Maid. No need to harden or congeal *my* sugar. I'll just dump packets of it straight down my throat. Otherwise known as mainlining.

(P.S. At a restaurant the other day I saw just that--a man dumping sugar packet after sugar packet into his toddler's mouth. Nuts.)
posted by brittney at 11:48 AM on April 15, 2002

Kinda like Cap'n Crunch and Fruity Pebbles, where your mouth gets cut to shreds

Has anyone else noticed that the classic cereals from our childhood are getting buried within a flood of variations? I was looking for Crunch Berries the other day and could only find All-Berries Crunch (yuck!). I also miss Trix in its oriignal form - colored balls - not in its current incarnation as fruit-shaped nuggets! Change is not good.
posted by vacapinta at 12:09 PM on April 15, 2002

Kinda like Cap'n Crunch and Fruity Pebbles, where your mouth gets cut to shreds

Has anyone else noticed that the classic cereals from our childhood are getting buried within a flood of variations? I was looking for Crunch Berries the other day and could only find All-Berries Crunch (yuck!). I also miss Trix in its oriignal form - colored balls - not in its current incarnation as fruit-shaped nuggets! Change is not good.
posted by vacapinta at 12:11 PM on April 15, 2002

brittney, I think you're thinking of Lik-M-Aid. Lik-A-Maid is, er, something else I think.
posted by jjg at 12:13 PM on April 15, 2002

shove a handful of Skittles into your gaping maw

Mefi tagline?
posted by adampsyche at 12:13 PM on April 15, 2002

I gave up on Skittles when the "apple" flavor appeared. Or rather, when I was caught off-guard by a mouthful of the stuff. Gah! Vile, vile flavor!

Mystery flavors have no appeal to me, so those are right out. The bottom of my candy jar is already filled with "mystery" Starburst -- no one is bold enough to touch them, and I don't want them myself -- and are an extremely poor choice for Skittles. Skittles are a blind-handful candy, as jelly beans used to be before those horrid Jelly Belly things took over the market. With the apple flavor, that's not possible any more since they have to be picked out and discarded, and with the introduction of a second flavor that must be weeded out, Skittles remain on the inedible list for me.

If someone pulls a scam like this on my Mike & Ike or Dots, there's going to be hell to pay, I tell you!

brittney -- Lik-M-Aid rocks.
posted by majick at 12:16 PM on April 15, 2002

Ah yes, Lik-M-Aid. No wonder Google seemed to fail me.

Perhaps the massive amounts of sugar as a tot rotted my brain and left me perverted.
posted by brittney at 12:20 PM on April 15, 2002

Oh cripes. Not again.

better MeFi tagline
posted by briank at 12:22 PM on April 15, 2002

The conspiracy gets worse. Same deal is happening with Starbursts! Out with lemon, in with "mystery flavor"...

I guess the terrorists have already won....
posted by mattpusateri at 12:58 PM on April 15, 2002

You guys like crappy candy. It's all about Reese's pieces/peanut butter cup/nutrageous. You just can't beat the peanut butter and chocolate combo. If I want to eat fruit, I'll go eat an apple, thank you very much. I don't need my candy to remind me of something remotely healthy.
posted by ookamaka at 1:11 PM on April 15, 2002

Bah.
I eat Tablet, a man's confection.

I think it also might be why Ella Fitzgerald ended up with training wheels.
posted by dong_resin at 1:34 PM on April 15, 2002

Peanuts are unhealthy?
posted by NortonDC at 1:40 PM on April 15, 2002

Lik-M-Aid??? I had to Google that to understand what you guys were talking about. Then, "FUN DIP" jumped out at me from a really slow-loading CandyBaron page and I understood. Mainlining, indeed. And you get to eat the stick too! (Seems perverted comments can't be separated from this particular candy, eh?)

And here's another Hurrah! for Chewy Spree. That's gotta be my favorite non-chocolate candy. I eat the whole pack on the walk back to my office from the candy store. Yum.
posted by rio at 2:31 PM on April 15, 2002

Gah! Vile, vile flavor!

even better MeFi tagline
posted by rio at 2:32 PM on April 15, 2002

First of all, there are some rules for what is defined as "candy".

1) No chocolate or fudge allowed - if there is chocolate in the product, then it's not a candy, but a chocolate bar off-shoot. Therefore, no Reese's anythings or Tootsie Rolls.

2) Must be dissolvable in your mouth - if you can keep chewing it for more than 10 minutes, it's a gum, not a candy. Chews are out.

3) Not potato, flour or meat products - anything made of those materials are snacks, not candies. Chips or pretzles or Slim Jims are not acceptable.

The royalty of candy for me was/is:
Gobstoppers - teeth-breaking fun
Sweet Tarts - the most artificial of kid candies
Sour Keys - it feels like your face is going to implode
Licorice Feet - cheap and plentiful
posted by grum@work at 2:53 PM on April 15, 2002

Ha, you think you all have it bad. You've always had Snickers, we used to have Marathons. They're the same thing but they're making us Brits call them Snickers as well now instead of making the rest of the world change! The bloody cheek of it!
posted by vbfg at 3:11 PM on April 15, 2002

vbfg, I'd say if your candy bar is giving you a bloody cheek, you're probably chewing it wrong.

In all other regards, I'm with ookamaka. Fruit candies are lame.
posted by jjg at 3:13 PM on April 15, 2002

hey seem to have discontinued Reese's Cookie Cup Mianiatures, possibly the perfect confection.

No, the best ever was the crunchy peanut butter cups. They don't make those anymore. Nutrageous (which has inspired me to occasionally exclaim "this is a nutrage!" when something happens I don't like) is probably the best of the current batch. Although I must say, I was hopping (not a typo) to get one of the Reese's rabbits at half-price after Easter.

I was also happy to see the peanut butter Twix come back, I always liked those better than the regular kind.

Chips or pretzles or Slim Jims are not acceptable.

Well, I don't care if you call them candy or not, but white chocolate pretzel Flipz are pretty damn tasty.
posted by kindall at 3:30 PM on April 15, 2002

Tablet's just a hardened sugar slurry... fudge without the chocolate. What's so special about that?
posted by SpecialK at 3:40 PM on April 15, 2002

kindall - Well, I don't care if you call them candy or not, but white chocolate pretzel Flipz are pretty damn tasty.

Oooh no no no no. Just say no to Flipz. I think they're not even real chocolate, but some oil-based hardened brown goo.

Go with Snyder's Chocolate Dips.* Real chocolate over pretzels from a real pretzel company.

...Of course the Right Thing To Do it is to skip both and pick the chocolate covered and peanut butter filled pretzels out of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby.


*archive.org link since the site seems unhappy
posted by NortonDC at 4:04 PM on April 15, 2002

Lindt 80% cocoa is the only "candy" worth eating. Bittersweet? Hell, beyond. Damn fine chocolate.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:17 PM on April 15, 2002

I was also happy to see the peanut butter Twix come back, I always liked those better than the regular kind.

I remember when there were about six different kinds of Twix. My favorite was the cookies-n-cream flavor :)

Lik-M-Aid is the best! Nothing like pure sugar for that afternoon pick-me-up. I was delighted to find boxes upon boxes of it at my college's bookstore (they discontinued it at all the stores back home :( ).
posted by somethingotherthan at 4:29 PM on April 15, 2002

"You've always had Snickers, we used to have Marathons. They're the same thing but they're making us Brits call them Snickers as well "

We used to have Marathons, but they're no longer sold here. You Brits still have them, but you call them Curly-Wurly.

This could get really confusing.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:00 PM on April 15, 2002

Alright, time to spread the GOOD WORD on my favourite party treat (invented by ME). Tastes great. Always a big hit a parties. Simple to make. Instructions are as follows:


Step 1. Take as big a bag of Skittles that you can lay your hands on and dump them into a bowl.

Step 2. Find a same-size bag of M&Ms and dump them into the same bowl.

Step 3. Stir until thoroughly combined.


And there you have it - S&Ms.
posted by Neale at 6:40 PM on April 15, 2002 [1 favorite]

Piglets-- the whole bunch of you.


And what's up with the liquid candy?

Besides, I votes YES for the green apple. I've always kinda liked that stomach-wrenching, acid green flavor. It was always the flavor nobody else wanted. Just like me to be impartial towards the underdog.
posted by Quixoticlife at 7:19 PM on April 15, 2002

vbfg, you Brits are hoarding all the Flake bars, though. Best damn thing I ever had stuck into an ice cream cone, and Cadbury simply does not seem to sell them over here.

jeez: vbfg, yhbc ... let's not reply too often to each other - it could get really confusing
posted by yhbc at 7:36 PM on April 15, 2002

The candy itself is pretty pedestrian, but this is the coolest packaging gimmick I've seen in a while. I bought one of these for each of my co-workers and we carry 'em around the store and "take notes" during our sales pitches until the clients ask to check it out and we give 'em a piece.
posted by jonmc at 8:06 PM on April 15, 2002

Five words:

Deep Fried Battered Mars Bar.
posted by cheaily at 8:33 PM on April 15, 2002

you guys have it all wrong
it's all about the super-cola (image at bottom)
warheads are just a cheap knockoff.
posted by juv3nal at 9:19 PM on April 15, 2002

The greatest candy of all time is sour patch kids.
posted by Settle at 9:50 PM on April 15, 2002

Skittles didn't even make it on the Food History Timeline. I think it's because they get your saliva glands gushing. I end up drooling after I've eaten a handful.
posted by jaden at 10:45 PM on April 15, 2002

Chicken stix. The original butterfingers, sans chocolate. I found some recently in South Dakota.

"1) No chocolate or fudge allowed - if there is chocolate in the product, then it's not a candy, but a chocolate bar off-shoot. Therefore, no Reese's anythings or Tootsie Rolls."

Tootsie Rolls ceased to be chocolate a long time ago. Like most american "chocolate", they are sweet brown wax.
posted by mecran01 at 6:11 AM on April 16, 2002

Grum: So what about M&M's? They appear to violate rules 1 and 2, but I wouldn't call them either gum or candy bars. I'm sure that the candy industry has some sort of categorization rules (hopefully ala Dewey Decimal). How much longer can I go on not nowing exactly what kind of candy I have?!?!
posted by betaray at 10:21 AM on April 16, 2002