But there's no vinegar in there!
December 16, 2016 8:25 AM   Subscribe

It's one thing when your new recipe doesn't work out in the privacy of your kitchen. It's another when you bring it to work and have your colleagues try it. On live TV. (autoplay video)
posted by nubs (51 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
IT BURNS!!
posted by briank at 8:30 AM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


There's a lot of good reaction stuff in there, but I'm starting to really enjoy the co-anchor who just places his back on the table and then spends the segment covering his face because he is laughing so hard.
posted by nubs at 8:40 AM on December 16, 2016


I'm just struggling with the fact that she even starts by saying "this did NOT work out".... but hey, let's eat it live on air anyway! Why?
posted by dnash at 8:47 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


My favorite part is when the guy on the left reflexively does the "I know I'm on stage too but you are super off the rails right now!!!" head/eye shielding even though that's just what the segment is.

Orange... celery salt... artichoke... oregano... Christ on a cracker indeed.
posted by cmoj at 8:48 AM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't stop laughing. Who announces that a recipe went terribly wrong and then feeds it to other people and then starts asking things like "do you think maybe the artichokes are off?" to her clearly recoiling coworkers on live TV? I thought Leslie Horton must be a local comedian but it seems she's the weather person for that channel (I guess she could be both). Is she often this funny? I may have to start looking for her weather segments to find out.
posted by treepour at 8:49 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


I can't stop laughing at the guy who keeps crying out, "I'm not trying to be rude!" Putting Canadians in a position where they cannot help but be rude must be against the Geneva Convention, right?
posted by ourobouros at 8:51 AM on December 16, 2016 [13 favorites]


Wash it all away with Tims as Canadians do.
posted by srboisvert at 8:52 AM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm just struggling with the fact that she even starts by saying "this did NOT work out".... but hey, let's eat it live on air anyway! Why?

The Canadian version of "Jackass" is surprisingly chill.
posted by cortex at 8:55 AM on December 16, 2016 [16 favorites]


Putting Canadians in a position where they cannot help but be rude must be against the Geneva Convention, right?

I think CBC radio did a Canadian version of Fear Factor once; the final challenge was to send back a dish in a restaurant even though there was nothing wrong with it. Nobody finished.
posted by nubs at 8:58 AM on December 16, 2016 [26 favorites]


I'm just struggling with the fact that she even starts by saying "this did NOT work out".... but hey, let's eat it live on air anyway! Why?

I love this A LOT and I'll tell you why--sometimes you just fuck up a recipe and fuck it up hard, and especially around the holidays when you have people over or are supposed to bring a dish for whatever and everything's 10x more stressful than usual, fucking up a recipe really sucks. You used time you didn't have to make something no one can eat, and now it's your fault YOUR FAULT that there's no artichoke dip at the party. People were relying on you.

This is someone embracing that fuckup in a very public way, owning it with good humor, and sharing the cringing hilarity with others. Everyone fucks up a recipe at some point or another--it's good to get a reminder every now and again that it's okay when things aren't perfect. You laugh about it and move on.
posted by phunniemee at 9:01 AM on December 16, 2016 [28 favorites]


I'm not sure she even HAD a recipe - if she did she completely ignored it. From her description it sounds like she just grabbed a few random ingredients and threw them in a bowl with some artichokes.

Ooh, that reminds me - I want to try out my new pasta sauce recipe! It's got tomatoes, and here's some frozen corn, and some green beans for color, and...looks like I'm out of mayo, maybe throw in a couple eggs instead. I'm sure it'll be fine.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:07 AM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


I wasn't able to find the recipe on their website. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that either a) the type of artichoke was unspecified and the anchor used jarred or b) it did in fact specify jarred artichoke but did not say to drain it, so she dumped the whole jar in, brine and all.

Recipe writing is like any other writing, in that you have to make certain assumptions about the technical and cultural background of the reader. So if a recipe says something like "add one jar of artichoke hearts" it's totally conceivable that a person inexperienced with that particular ingredient might just dump everything in.
posted by backseatpilot at 9:20 AM on December 16, 2016 [6 favorites]


Yeah, I'd be curious what the base recipe was supposed to be, since I can't figure out how artichokes + oranges would result in something that "burns."

I mean, marinated artichokes will have some vinegar in them, but there's also other flavours so it's not like the vinegar should dominate. And oranges are, to me, less acidic than lemons so some kind of dark alchemy is afoot here.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:23 AM on December 16, 2016


This is someone embracing that fuckup in a very public way, owning it with good humor, and sharing the cringing hilarity with others.

Yeah, I think I laughed so hard at this because there is nothing mean spirited about it; it's obvious from the moment she lifts the lid that there is something wrong here, and Leslie is just very forthright about it. She didn't want to do this; she didn't have time for it; but the pressure was on so she did something and it turned out horrible. So let's embrace the horrible! How horrible is it? Why do you think it tastes like vinegar when there's no vinegar in there?

It's also very much in the morning news show tradition of doing something light and funny, particularly at a time when everyone is stressed about the holidays. Seeing the normally polished people on TV goof up and have fun with something instead of giving you another recipe that you can use to make your holiday entertaining "perfect" is a wonderfully human touch. It's an acknowledgement that its ok to fuck up, that we all can feel pressure this time of year, and that sometimes you are better off to just throw your hands up and buy something from the store instead of trying to do it all. And I love the fact that whoever prepped the fruitcake made sure the store wrapper was in there.

I thought Leslie Horton must be a local comedian but it seems she's the weather person for that channel (I guess she could be both). Is she often this funny?

I think it is fair to say that Leslie is often the comic relief of the morning show, which I think is a weather person tradition. I don't know if it shows up in the clips that are posted, but she seems to enjoy saying or doing something on set that cracks everyone up.
posted by nubs at 9:27 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


I really wanted to see that recipe.
posted by snorkmaiden at 9:30 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah, the only jarred artichoke hearts I know are mostly packed in oil, with only a tiny bit of vinegar. I suppose if there was a packed-entirely-in-vinegar kind, and she bought them by mistake, that would solve the mystery.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:32 AM on December 16, 2016


"add one jar of artichoke hearts" it's totally conceivable that a person inexperienced with that particular ingredient might just dump everything in.

That's exactly what I'd do because I don't think I've ever used them in a jar and if the recipe didn't call for "One jar of artichoke hearts - Drained" I'd assume I'm not draining. I actually find it weird when a recipe calls for specifically leaving a part of something from a can or jar in because then I assume I must have been doing it wrong if they have to point out that the pineapple juice really does go in this time.

I don't usually find this kind of thing too funny but this one hit all the right notes. I think it was the Caniadianness of it all that made it work for me. I also like to think that the recipes I (and others around me) have royally messed up are funny stories, not disaster stories. Even if It Burns for a few minutes.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 9:32 AM on December 16, 2016


Thanks for posting this, OP. I was feeling down today and really needed the laugh. Much appreciated.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:40 AM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Good lord, just when I had come to terms with the level on inanity that surrounds me....
posted by humboldt32 at 9:52 AM on December 16, 2016


This is also a very well-timed post in that today is my office's "pot luck holiday lunch" thing that I don't really like. So this gives me something to share that people can laugh and talk about so I feel like I'm being "social."
posted by dnash at 10:08 AM on December 16, 2016


She, she is that person who comments on all internet recipes.

"Horrible! I didn't have a lemon so I used an orange, and it didn't even tell you what spices to add so I just guessed and added celery salt and oregano. Came out awful!" Two stars.
posted by Diablevert at 10:19 AM on December 16, 2016 [26 favorites]


The look on the guy on the left's face when she tells him there is no vinegar is priceless.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:28 AM on December 16, 2016


Damn it I want to see that recipe! I wonder if they took it down because the original recipe writer was terribly offended.

(Or, actually, since the video was only posted four hours ago, maybe they just haven't uploaded it yet?)
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:41 AM on December 16, 2016




A Recipe For Cucumber Salad - "pickles are made from cucumber, I'll just use pickles. It'll be fine."

SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS MISTAKE??
posted by Dysk at 11:00 AM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


you don't even want to know about the time I went to make bread but was out of flour and just used a whole bunch of flowers instead
posted by cortex at 11:24 AM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


Well, if you're the kind of cook who thinks you can use scrambled eggs to make a chocolate cake, using pickled artichokes isn't a biggie.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:27 AM on December 16, 2016


But scrambled egg is at least still fundamentally similar to egg in flavour, something that can be said of almost nothing and its pickled variety.
posted by Dysk at 11:29 AM on December 16, 2016


The scrambled egg thing is also a super easy mistake to make if you're baking with melted chocolate and you don't cool it enough or you add it to the other ingredients too quickly. I have totally done that.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:31 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS MISTAKE??

In a different tweet she said she had no idea that pickled artichokes existed, so she just went to the store and picked up a jar of artichokes.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:33 AM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


I will bet you a million billion dollars that in her case the mistake was failing to stir the raw egg into the boxed cake mix before bunging it in the oven, bless her heart.
posted by Diablevert at 11:36 AM on December 16, 2016


A Recipe For Cucumber Salad - "pickles are made from cucumber, I'll just use pickles. It'll be fine."

SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS MISTAKE??


I see the pickles/ cucumbers mistake as being a different sort of thing, along the lines of how knowing that a tomato is fruit is knowledge, and probably* not using tomatoes in fruit salad is wisdom. Someone who knows enough to know that pickles are made from cucumbers, probably knows that pickles don't taste like cucumbers.

On the other hand, I had no idea that pickled artichokes were a thing -- I know about marinated artichokes, and artichokes packed in water, and I consider myself to be reasonably informed wrt artichokes in general**. I would probably balk a little at the idea of purchasing pickled artichokes, just b/c I know what pickling involves. But if you think that artichokes are artichokes, I can see not looking any further into it. See, e.g. pureed tomatoes vs. tomato sauce).

*I've eaten some vareities of cherry tomatoes that I would argue were sweet enough to go into a salad of not particularly sweet fruits and I know of chefs that I would trust to make such a dish.
**I am waiting for my askme timer to reset to probe the hive mind about how bad it would be if "a friend" ate large quanities of marinated artichokes as pretty much their only vegetable for a while so if anyone wants to take this moment to put that plan on a scale from Ketchup is a Vegetable, to all-raw-leafy-salads-all-the-time, it would be appreciated.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:05 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would probably balk a little at the idea of purchasing pickled artichokes, just b/c I know what pickling involves. But if you think that artichokes are artichokes, I can see not looking any further into it

Except you don't need to know anything about artichokes, you just need to have had picked anything in your life, and a sense of smell should clue you in that you're dealing with something pickled when you open the jar. I don't know if pickled cherries are a thing, but I'm 100% confident I would never get them mixed up with just cherries once the jar was open.
posted by Dysk at 12:09 PM on December 16, 2016


But there are dips that use the "pickled" version of products. And there are plenty of ingredients that smell not great before being combined with a dish (this is just to say, that I have smelt the fish sauce that is in the icebox, and which you were probably saving for curry. forgiveness is not required, it was like old socks, you will find it is right where you left it).

Combine that with the fact that this was a first time recipe for her, and I can see how the mistake was made. Further, as discussed above, I can see how the decision was made to run with the disaster instead of just dumping the lot -- it was funny, like the time I learned that there is a difference between dishwashing detergent and dishwasher detergent because actually-a-friend-this-time provided a cautionary (and bubbly) example.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:43 PM on December 16, 2016 [6 favorites]


I found this really charming, because of how often she says that she didn't want to do it, but her family was freaking out - it makes me think of the recent thread about emotional labor women are expected to perform on the holidays.

And when it went wrong, she just joyously owned it. It's like, "yep, you pushed me into doing this thing that I didn't really want to do, and it went very wrong, and I DON'T CARE."
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 1:59 PM on December 16, 2016 [16 favorites]


At least this was "I didn't realize that this other version of the ingredient existed" instead of "I made substitutions based on orthorexia instead of principles of baking and cooking". I still remember the "carrot cake" a former roommate baked… only "fat's not good for you, so I left it out" and "sugar's bad, so I cut it in half" and "you know I don't like spicy things, so I decreased the cinnamon and allspice and other spices by half" and "shredding the carrots would have taken too long so I just sliced them" and… weeps softly for my former self's willingness to eat bad things for the sake of harmony
posted by Lexica at 2:10 PM on December 16, 2016 [9 favorites]


"I made substitutions based on orthorexia instead of principles of baking and cooking"

Ok ok ok... Let's adapt this reasonable seeming recipe to these parameters. I am going just completely skip the frosting because sugar and fat (for the record, I know that this is already a mistake because cream cheese frosting is essential to carrot cake), but I am going to assume for the sake of sanity that your friend is ok with both gluten and egg yolks....

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
2 cups Gold Medal™ all-purpose flour
2 1 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups sliced carrots (5 medium)
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts (nuts are all fat, you know).

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease bottom and sides of one 13x9-inch pan or two 8-inch or 9-inch round pans with shortening; lightly flour. In large bowl, beat eggs with electric mixer on low speed about 30 seconds or until beaten? Add flour, cinnamon, baking soda, 1 teaspoon vanilla and the salt; beat on low speed 1 minute. Stir in carrots. Pour into pan(s).
2 Bake 13x9-inch pan 40 to 45 minutes, round pans 30 to 35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean carrots are fully softened. Cool rectangle in pan on cooling rack. Cool rounds 10 minutes; remove from pans to cooling rack. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

It's like a chemically leavened challah (though challah dough has fat)? With carrot chunks? Maybe a savory panettone? Are you sure your former roommate actually liked you?
posted by sparklemotion at 2:54 PM on December 16, 2016


I loved everything about this. So Canadian, the politeness. And I love Leslie. Own it, Leslie! Own not only wanting to bring but actually bringing and slicing up that Safeway fruitcake with the frosting on it with pride. You HAVE been busy and the pressure from family to "just make something" really is all kinds of bullshit sometimes (as is spending time on work when you are supposed to be at home not working, which this obviously entailed to some extent). And when the "something" you make is shitty because you (a) rightly didn't give a fuck and (B) grabbed the wrong ingredient, which happens to the best of us, you absolutely should not force yourself to try again. One and done; don't fuck around. Leslie is my spirit animal.
posted by sockermom at 3:56 PM on December 16, 2016


Somebody tells you something is really bad, and you pop the whole cracker's worth in your mouth in one bite? Instead of taking a little nibble off the side?
posted by lagomorph at 5:00 PM on December 16, 2016


I think he was put in a bind by the crew; he didn't want to eat it - in fact he said that he wasn't sure he could do it - but once he was holding the cracker they went to a full shot of him alone and he knew it. So he went for it, because that's part of being in the infotainment business and because he didn't want it dragged out.
posted by nubs at 6:18 PM on December 16, 2016


Plus it's a baller move. If you're gonna do something stupid and self-inflicted, go big.
posted by cortex at 6:48 PM on December 16, 2016


Plus it's a baller move. If you're gonna do something stupid and self-inflicted, go big.

A Big Flamboyant Gesture isn't how one gets into morning TV, it's how one breaks out of it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:57 PM on December 16, 2016


I could totally see my husband making this kind of mistake because he didn't really read labels, just sort of approximates things. I asked him to buy cream of tartar once and he came home with Tartar sauce. That one is totally understandable, so now I make sure to leave little bracketed notes about what not to buy also.
posted by peacheater at 8:14 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


But there are dips that use the "pickled" version of products. And there are plenty of ingredients that smell not great before being combined with a dish

Well yeah, but if a dip wants a pickled thing, it will explicitly say so in the recipe. If it says "artichokes" and you open a jar of pickled artichokes, your nose should be screaming "pickles! Abort!" at full volume...
posted by Dysk at 3:27 AM on December 17, 2016


I appreciated that she never actually tasted it herself, because then it's like "hey can you taste this for me" and not "god, this is awful, try it" which makes for better comedy. (Or maybe she did taste it and knew exactly what she was doing.)

In fact everything about this is comedy perfection, from the guy on the left having this expression of growing doom that he's going to have to eat some garbage on TV, to the lady in the middle doing the boss move of passing the first cracker to the guy on the left, to the guy on the right sneaking in a "I thought it smelled like a barn" and nobody noticing, to ending on "go to our site for the recipe" on the way out.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:47 AM on December 17, 2016


I'm confused:
Marinated artichokes apparently not the way to go!

Pickled = marinated? I'm sure I've made that dip before and I'm sure I used marinated because I didn't even know there was the unmarinated kind in a tin. I probably drained them though.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 3:53 AM on December 17, 2016


I detest artichokes, can't stand the bloody things no way, no how. But that clip was halarious! And the guy on the left who tried eating that poison is really dishy.
posted by james33 at 6:07 AM on December 17, 2016


It's like a chemically leavened challah

I'd say that's because you halved the ingredients, but left the full amount of baking soda.
posted by ojemine at 7:24 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


I detest artichokes, can't stand the bloody things no way, no how.

Really? They taste like nothing at all to me, very bland and inoffensive. Yet another "we all taste things differently" food, I guess.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:09 AM on December 17, 2016


An update, which includes the actual recipe for Leslie's 'choke dip.
posted by nubs at 9:58 AM on December 20, 2016


Really? They taste like nothing at all to me,

omg are you an android artichoke?
posted by phunniemee at 11:20 AM on December 20, 2016


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