"Hand wash only" is a tool of the patriarchy.
December 16, 2016 6:20 PM   Subscribe

 
I stopped wearing bras with much regularity this year because dear christ almighty bras suck. even so, i do a load of wash that includes any recently-worn bra every other week. It's not particularly burdensome (zip them in a lingerie bag, toss in wash, hang on the line) but then I own my home and it has a laundry closet room. What do I win?
posted by crush-onastick at 6:35 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


This article is freaking me out. I mean, any given bra that I wear? Sits right smack next to my armpits. And rests in the tropical creases just under and between my breasts. For hours and hours. In other words, it gets sweaty. It smells. After one wearing. Regardless of the weather. So I wash it after I wear it once with the rest of the weekly dirty laundry, unless I only wear it for a few minutes to run down to the corner store or an hour to and from the pool or something.

If I washed my bras like every few months (months? months!) and wore them multiple times between washings, nobody would get within 50 feet of me. Clouds of flies would surround me wherever I went. How do these women get away with repeatedly wearing unwashed bras without smelling like an unventilated locker room? Do most people not sweat or emit pore-grease at all? Does their sweat smell like Snuggle fabric softener?

Dear god, please nobody ever write an article asking people, "How frequently do you wash your underpants?" because I'll never be able to interact with humans again.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:46 PM on December 16, 2016 [51 favorites]


*squints* How much of that cloudiness is because of soap? That's what I wanna know. They all look about the same to me.

I get around washing my bras by currently exclusively wearing battered, beat-to-shit sports bras that mostly serve to prevent chafing and not display nipples... because they are literally the only things I've found that neither actively hurt to wear (like most halterback non-sports bras, I don't know why either) nor constantly slip off my damn shoulders. (Yes, I have tried my actual BraThatFits bra size. Does not help, although my tits fit better.)
posted by sciatrix at 6:49 PM on December 16, 2016 [6 favorites]


Huh. I wash them all once a month or so... Or if they smell. They almost never do, so I guess I don't sweat in my boobs?
posted by Valancy Rachel at 6:50 PM on December 16, 2016 [10 favorites]


"Permanent press," no? (Whatever that is...). Should be fine!
posted by benadryl at 6:51 PM on December 16, 2016


Since my teenage years I've only bought bras that are washer and dryer-friendy (so basically non-padded sports bras) and throw them in with the rest of my clothes. So, like 2-3 weeks in between washes? And I'll wear one 3-4 times within that time span, until wearing it at the gym, then it doesn't get re-worn until a wash. They get more uses between each wash than my shirts and underwear (I'll only wear those once before washing), but not as often as my jeans. I think I'll wear jeans like 20+ times between washes.
posted by picklenickle at 6:52 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ha, I'm not alone! I might wash my bras every several months? I sweat a lot, but somehow the sweat on my chest doesn't get smelly and icky. I just rotate through a handful of bras so they have time to air out between wearings.

I mean, I only do laundry, period, every 3-4 weeks, since I don't have laundry at home. I have a very large underwear collection, and everything else gets worn multiple times between washings.
posted by ktkt at 7:01 PM on December 16, 2016 [13 favorites]


Also tons of socks; I'm not a monster.
posted by ktkt at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2016 [8 favorites]


Huh. I have about half a dozen bras, and I rotate through them depending on whim and what I'm wearing. I try to wash them after about a week of actual use, I guess. It's not a big lift: I clasp them, throw them in the wash, and hang them dry.

Eventually the elastic gives out and they stop fitting, and then I get rid of them.
posted by suelac at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


I routinely do my wife's laundry, and hers get washed as often as all her other articles of clothing. We have kids, so there's at least one laundry cycle per day if not two. It's really for the best because she never, ever would pay any attention to care instructions and would run even the most expensive or delicate bras through the dryer at high heat or something. I'm like the clothing guardian around here. 😇
posted by trackofalljades at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2016 [28 favorites]


My boob sweat doesn't smell either, to my huge surprise, due to the aforementioned proximity to armpits and such. How often do I wash my bras? When they get up and walk themselves to the laundry basket. (Everything else I wash pretty damn regularly though.)
posted by tatiana131 at 7:16 PM on December 16, 2016 [10 favorites]


I started washing mine by hand when I went from $10 bras to $50 bras. But soon after that I started working at home, and I no longer wear a bra except to church and the occasional family reunion. So, not very often.
posted by Miss Cellania at 7:19 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


On a related note: having kids means the washer runs every day means I don't need a lot of clothes and every given thing (including cheapo bras!) goes through the washer every few days. Seriously...I read one of these quasi religious 'capsule wardrobe challenge' posts the other day and when it said 'only 15 tops!' I was like...ok I have about 7 wearable t-shirts, i guess I'm already at the capsule stage of enlightenment...same thing with the bras. Squeaky clean. I win. (no fashion contests, though)
posted by The Toad at 7:38 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: I will drink your bra water
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:45 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm feeling better, in that I seem to be on par with most posters here, and the article. I had been feeling like a disgusting monster since reading the post on here where everyone claimed to wash their sheets weekly.
posted by greermahoney at 8:08 PM on December 16, 2016 [27 favorites]


Once a week, at the same time I do my other laundry. I've seen articles like this floating around on the internet before and I don't get it because compared to other things in my life, like remembering to charge my phone and getting out of bed in the morning, washing bras is nbd.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:15 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


Huh. I share FelliniBlank's feelings about bra-as-underwear but even aside from that, if I ever have worn a bra more than once, no matter how clean it seemed or the season, I've ended up with a ring of eczema around my torso. Which makes me think, even if there is nothing to smell that bra (or at least my bra) isn't clean. So bras get (hand)washed after every wearing.

I'm surprised by all the people who go multiple weeks between loads of laundry. Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?
posted by tavegyl at 8:17 PM on December 16, 2016


I periodically wash all my bras (by hand) together. I have about 6 identical bras (except colour) that get worn evenly. Probably once every month or two. I don't usually wear a bra at home, just a slightly supportive cami.

I have two very ugly regular wash bras, which go in the laundry every time I do laundry.
posted by jeather at 8:18 PM on December 16, 2016


I'm reminded of this post from last year about never ever washing your jeans. It was enlightening how many people believe clean clothes are optional.
posted by adept256 at 8:20 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


For the first time in my adult life I have a washing machine in my apartment, and now I take great joy in washing everything weekly. I don't even have to hoard quarters. It's glorious. But in the old days, yeah, I had like 20 pairs of undies so I could go a long time between laundry runs, and I hand-washed my bras in the sink every couple of weeks. Hand-washing is actually pretty easy when you get in the habit. Now, I just wash them in a mesh bag on the delicate cycle and line dry them.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:26 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


If I wore a bra all day, I'll throw it in the wash, but a lot of the time I'll only wear it out in the evening, in which case I will wear it again
posted by tavella at 8:33 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Funny, the part that surprised me most was allusions to having 1 favorite bra that gets over worn. I hate bra shopping so much that I've gotten many multiples of the same style for many years, and just don't buy clothes (special occasions excepted... sometimes) that don't work with the bra style. I've been doing it for so long, I'd forgotten any other way was possible.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:34 PM on December 16, 2016 [7 favorites]


I'm feeling better, in that I seem to be on par with most posters here, and the article. I had been feeling like a disgusting monster since reading the post on here where everyone claimed to wash their sheets weekly.

I am with you on the infrequent sheet washing, but the thing about icky sheets is that I don't wear them out in public around people. It's perfectly fine to do all sorts of gross stuff in your own home where no one else has to cope with it. On the other hand, since this thread has made me realize that I'm much smellier than the average person, maybe I should be washing my sheets every week so that the foul miasma doesn't waft over on a random breeze to my neighbors across the street.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:37 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


I admit that the washing habits of metafilter shock me a little bit. What gets washed once a week? All the things. And I have lived without my own washer/dryer and biked everything to the laundromat, too. On the other hand, I have a weak sense of smell, so just carry on.
posted by Frowner at 8:45 PM on December 16, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'd just like to understand something. People are washing bras in the washing machine. Like, underwires? This works? The bra doesn't fall apart or melt or anything?

I don't really track the timing on my bra washing schedule. I regularly perform the sniff test and set them aside when they fail, and when I have 2 or 3 they go in the sink.
posted by bunderful at 8:47 PM on December 16, 2016 [5 favorites]


Best tip ever for those who wash their bras...invest in a salad spinner. Makes handwashing them a breeze.
posted by tipsyBumblebee at 8:51 PM on December 16, 2016 [17 favorites]


I definitely feel better about how often I wash my bras, after reading that. But I also wash almost everything on cold/delicate and line dry anyway, because virtually everything I wear is vintage or wool/cotton/silk or some combination of those, and even the modern stuff lasts longer if you wash cold and line dry.

(but I also have a genuinely stupid amount of clothing, so I don't do laundry THAT often? but when I do I wash all 20-odd solid color t-shirts at once, or whatever, and don't need to again til I run out)
posted by nonasuch at 9:02 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


I can't stand underwire bras, so except for a couple of special ones they are all machine-washable. I wouldn't buy them otherwise.
posted by tavella at 9:02 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


I have hardy underwire bras with fabric cups--nothing like the delicate wisps of gossamer in the article. Machine wash cold on the delicate cycle in a mesh bag, dry on the rack, and they survive a few years, with a stable of six or so at any given time.

I throw mine in the hamper when they start to smell, which is usually after four or wearings in winter and two in summer. Biking to work means I get at least a little sweaty twice a day so maybe this is gross, but I think the armpit-adjacent area is the only part that actually smells. Though maybe my amazing caustic pit sweat just overwhelms the more delicate feminine fragrance of boob sweat.

Sport bras worn for non-commuting athletic attempts are worn only once, though...I'm not a monster.
posted by esoterrica at 9:03 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?

I have probably 30 pairs of underwear, so I can go a couple weeks between laundry if need be. 3 pairs of jeans, on rotation, worn a few times each between washings. Really, the underwear is the determining factor on whether laundry gets done.
posted by greermahoney at 9:04 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


I only have four bras, and two of them get worn a lot more. So, they typically get washed every few weeks. Machine wash gentle cycle in a mesh bag, air dry. They don't smell despite armpit-proximity. If I do get really sweaty, I go ahead and launder them more often.

My other machine-washable clothes are washed each time they're worn, though I sometimes get a couple of wearings out of jeans/casual pants. Clothes requiring drycleaning are aired out between wearings and taken to the cleaners periodically; I also avoid wearing them against bare skin anyway.
posted by desuetude at 9:10 PM on December 16, 2016


I've always machine washed all my bras - lacy or underwire or sports type or whatever. Throw them in with the regular load and hang to dry. I don't wash them after just one wear but I do wash them, uh, sometimes.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 9:14 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


Someone please correct if I'm wrong, but I have to assume you machine-washers don't wear more than a D cup. I washed one bra in a machine in a lingerie bag on delicate ONCE and it broke the damn thing. And it was a $50 bra. Handwashing sucks, bras fucking blow, but goddamn I wouldn't be able to feed myself if I didn't have to wear them every day to work, and then handwash them every few weekends.
posted by likeatoaster at 9:26 PM on December 16, 2016 [14 favorites]


G cup and maybe you were just unlucky that one time? I wash mine after a couple wearings assuming I didn't get too sweaty (spots bras used for sweaty activities always get washed after just one wearing) in a lingerie bag in the washer and hang dry. I have a front loader now and used to do this in a top-load machine that was a lot rougher and nothing has ever gone south like that.

Your bra mileage obviously may vary.

Also, these folks go weeks of wearing without washing? Who knew I was such a pillar of hygiene? Maybe other people don't sweat.
posted by charmedimsure at 9:43 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]


Someday, we will invent a gravity bra that just lifts and sort of shapes/positions boobs wherever the individual wants and renders the boob almost totally weightless
posted by clockzero at 9:43 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, colour me shocked.

I wash all my bras after one wear, like I would anything else that sits close to my body. I throw them in a lingerie bag, normal machine wash, line-dried. I don't understand the big deal (and I RTFA).
posted by Salamander at 10:20 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


DD here and always wash in the machine, hang dry. I I own 4 bras, all the same in different colors. (Why, yes, I am single!) I've been doing this for 25 years- sometime I have to reshape the wire, but basically all good. They last 16-24 months? I generally go at least two weeks per bra in the winter, at least 4-5 boob smashings in the summer. Am I really that weird?
Jeans easily get 5+ wears, unless I get them dirty. If things smell I wash them. If they don't smell I wear them. Shower and new underwear every single day. Wool socks get worn 4-5 times as well.

I am fine with being a heathen.
posted by metasav at 10:30 PM on December 16, 2016 [8 favorites]


Wait, am I the only person who thought all those bottles looked basically the same? I was expecting one to be muddy brown or streaked with grit or something. I thought that this just showed it pretty much doesn't matter how often bras are washed since apparently they all have the same water-clouding properties at any given point in time. Or else my attention to detail is subconsciously slipping in order to justify my gross washing habits.
posted by mouse noises at 10:30 PM on December 16, 2016 [8 favorites]


I'm surprised by all the people who go multiple weeks between loads of laundry. Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?

Yes. Last time I did laundry I'd amassed 5 loads before it was so bad my hand was forced (including sheets and towels). It's just a pain to go down 3 flights outside to the basement, make sure I have enough quarters, hope nobody else is using the washer or that somebody doesn't take anything. One of me dreams is to have my own washer/dryer inside where I live.

I have to assume you machine-washers don't wear more than a D cup.

Nah, H and I hand wash sometimes, but throw my $80 wired bras in a mesh bag in a regular wash cycle in my building's crappy industrial washers and hang dry.
posted by Bunglegirl at 10:33 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's hard enough to find bras that fit (42 g/h/j) and fit for more than a few months before stretching out.. and the ones that do fit, look good, and are built to last are >$100. Last time I needed to replace one that finally gave out, they were nearly $150 each. So they never, ever, ever go in the washer. They get handwashed when they fail the sniff test, and when the underwires pop out (and they always do), I take them back to the bra shop to be repaired. So my $150 bras last a couple years, which they have to because I can't afford them not to.
The lady who does the repairs says sometimes she gets brought bras that have clearly never been washed. /shudder.
posted by ApathyGirl at 11:43 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


I have cheap sports-ish bras (they have mesh and shit, and come from the sports section, but also have underwire) that cost about $35 each. I wash them every five or six wears, in the washing machine, no mesh bag, not on delicates, and I have once ever in my life had an underwire go SPROING. Otherwise, bras seem to last me about two or three years, and the first thing to go is the elastic.

I don't sweat around the bra area unless I'm doing serious exercise, and I do wash my real proper sports bra every time after running, because yes, that gets gross.

I think people must have different amounts of sweat glands around their boobage, or something.
posted by lollusc at 11:47 PM on December 16, 2016


Who are you people that don't have stinky underboob sweat? It's the worst part of my bras by far and at this point it's so ground in that I'm not sure anything could get it out. There's always a faint miasma even straight out of the machine.

Mind you, I'm down to two bras that aren't a wasteland of broken hooks and broken shoulder elastics, and I only wash them when they're so gross the empty underwire part (you know when they snap and you pull them out and then the edge under them turns in and sits on your skin?) has turned blue and the smell starts wafting up my cleavage. It takes about two-three weeks of wearing for that to happen. So maybe I'm really not the best person to be asking.

I'll just sit here with my Grossest of All championship title.
posted by E. Whitehall at 11:51 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]


Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?
Maybe? I have about 3 weeks of the underwear I like best, and then another couple weeks worth of second and third rate ones I keep only because laundry is an annoying chore. I'm usually rotating 3 pairs of jeans and about 10 t-shirts.

Someone please correct if I'm wrong, but I have to assume you machine-washers don't wear more than a D cup.
DD+, machine wash and dry every few months. My $50 bras last 2-3 years. I don't see how cup size should matter much. The main potential issues seem to be underwire getting bent out of shape and bra hooks getting caught on other stuff, leading to bad stretching in the machine. I always hook the hooks in their loops to minimize the latter. Don't even bother with lingerie bags.
posted by ktkt at 11:52 PM on December 16, 2016


Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?

From watching people at the laundromat, I think everyone out there has more clothes than I do. This is the first year that I have owned enough clothes to go two weeks between washes if necessary, which makes travel easier if nothing else.

But equally, some people just aren't as smelly, or their biome doesn't react with their clothes or something. In that case, you could stretch the time between washes significantly.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:10 AM on December 17, 2016


likeatoaster, I have never had that happen and I wear an H-cup. I gave up on hand washing those things a few years ago and my home life is greatly improved. I clasp them, put in a delicates bag, and into the wash with my regular clothes on warm. Because I am sweaty they get discolored after a few years no matter what, so if the washing machine causes them to only last a year or two, so be it. I just assume every other year I'm going to be dropping a couple hundred dollars on new ones.
posted by joan_holloway at 12:19 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have probably 30 pairs of underwear, so I can go a couple weeks between laundry if need be.

That sounds like a month to me!

Now that I don't have laundry inside my apartment, intervals between washing are longer. I often wear the same bra every day but since I'm unemployed I rarely leave my house (wear a bra) for more than a half hour at a time.

Bras are always washed in cold water and in a mesh bag and hung on the towel bars to dry.
posted by bendy at 12:29 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bras fit people differently and people sweat differently.

I don't sweat much in general and my bras don't sit under my armpits. I mean, I'm not wearing them on my head or anything, but they sit lower than armpit sweat zone. My bras don't really get sweaty unless I go out hiking in the summer, or something.

I'm an unusual size so I don't have many bras and I couldn't afford to wear them out by washing after every use anyway. Seems like overkill to me. I'll wear a shirt multiple times too.

I'm more amazed at people who can wear jeans for a week on end, especially in warm weather, because mine start to smell after a day or two. But I don't figure that they're disgusting gross beasts, I figure they've got different bodies than mine.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 1:38 AM on December 17, 2016 [8 favorites]


I'm a moderately unusual size (38D/DD), I have a lot of bras, and I wash them every time I wear them. I'm basically circulating among 6 bras, with a few 'special evening' ones which get less wear.

I use lingerie bags and hang them to dry. Mine last anywhere from a year to three years.
posted by taterpie at 1:54 AM on December 17, 2016


My size is unusual enough that if I want a certain type or color of bra, I will often have to special-order it, and I consider $60 to be a fair price. And perhaps 1 out of 4 bras I try will actually fit, because they're just scaled up or down rather than re-proportioned in a way that makes sense.

My experience is definitely not that a bra will last three years. I can get perhaps a year out of a bra I use often before the elastic gets too loose, which would be much less if I washed it every time I wore it.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 2:43 AM on December 17, 2016


That's why we have noses! You sniff the bra to decide how wiffy it is after a week or so and rotate among at least two to give them time to air between wears and voila, hand wash and drip-dry overnight only if you've been on a sweaty run or spilt coffee down your front or something ridiculous. Washing a bra, ridiculous.

I wash the jeans I wear daily in the tropics every three months or so. I got a little choked up the other day when I had to put my beloved hiking jean shorts in the wash after I spilt a full cup of coffee on them because I hadn't washed them since about August and they were delightfully soft and comfy, and now they need to be broken in all over again.

Yet I will change underwear, socks and t-shirts and twice daily, bedsheets and towels weekly if not more often. I think it's the Elizabethan in me - your linings get changed daily and your outer garments, with a bra as a sort of corset, are seasonal washes.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:12 AM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'd just like to understand something. People are washing bras in the washing machine. Like, underwires? This works? The bra doesn't fall apart or melt or anything?

Works fine. Never even used a lingerie bag or anything. Probably helps that I was everything on 40 - that's not likely to melt anything
posted by Dysk at 3:15 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hmm. Suspect I'm unusually sweaty. Mine definitely need washing after a day's wear, else I'll notice the whiff. I take care to handwash a new bra for a few months, then get lazy and just throw it in a cold wash with other clothes and the older bras & line dry. On that regime, they don't last longer than 2ish years, then the elastic gets too sad...
posted by yesbut at 3:56 AM on December 17, 2016


Bras-as-underwear daily washing frequency is fine if your bras are inexpensive or you are wealthy.

My size is 32FF which means I require the sort of engineering that only comes with a price tag of $60 and up. The brand that fits me best is $78 EACH. I have a drawer full of expensive bras--because that is literally the only kind available to me--that would cost a mortgage payment to replace. I wash each bra maybe once a month, in a lingerie bag in the washer and hang it to dry. In the summer when I sweat more, I limit wear to the bras that can stand more frequent washing. These bras are investments. I have to limit washing to keep from going broke.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 4:20 AM on December 17, 2016 [12 favorites]


As the launderer in the house, I can confirm that my wife's bras get washed once a week, on a rotating basis. This schedule is triggered by their arrival in the laundry hamper. And, following instructions on the bra tag, they go in the washing machine. I hang dry them, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:21 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have three real bras (and umpteen sports bras), two are underwire and none of them are lacy or frilly. They are strictly utilitarian devices. They get washed every week in the washing machine with the rest of my regular ass clothes.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:08 AM on December 17, 2016


I have never been so happy to be flat-chested in my life. Yet another fucking tax on being female. I knew bras could be expensive because I have a busty daughter but she's grown so I had no idea how expensive. Wow. My heart goes out to you collectively, and I do not mean this in a snarky way whatsoever.
posted by Bella Donna at 5:09 AM on December 17, 2016 [15 favorites]


But I don't figure that they're disgusting gross beasts, I figure they've got different bodies than mine.

I had a roommate who could wear a blouse, like a pretty, non-breathable material like silk, many times before she needed to wash it. She just didn't stink. I was very envious. Tops get one wear from me. I've stopped buying tops that can't be thrown in the washer, else I get one use out of them and then sit in the bottom of the hamper until.... Well, forever. They're all still sitting there.
posted by greermahoney at 5:16 AM on December 17, 2016


Oh cool, an FPP on bras. Are there going to be a boatload of comments by Saturday morning, a low-traffic time for Metafilter? But of course.

Padded and non padded bras, gentle cycle, hang dry, every couple of months at minimum. Any more than that and they'll wear out. Took me forever to find these puppies that fit well and darned if I'll lose them so fast.
posted by Melismata at 5:21 AM on December 17, 2016


Cheap, comfy sports bras (no padding, no wire), washed weekly. Easy-peasy.
Yes, they give me uniboob. Don't care.
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:48 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


what I'm taking home from this is that I am incredibly lucky to be in the 'no, my boob sweat isn't stinky tyvm' camp. I have never, ever, ever noticed a bra even *feeling* dirty, let alone smelling unclean. Thus I am in the 'wash about every 5-7 wears, although often I'll not wear the same bra twice in a row so it airs a bit' camp.

(except sports bras, because those are dirty after one session...)
posted by AFII at 6:17 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Interesting! 34GG here. Have five 'everyday' underwired and four heavy-duty sports bras. The everyday ones get worn maybe 3-4 times each before going in the machine wash with everything else. Sports bras only get worn once but are also machine washed in general laundry. Everything gets dried on the line, we have a tumble drier but I never use it - I think that'd be more likely to wear them than a 40 degree machine cycle and mine usually last a couple of years each.

My bras are pretty utilitarian though, black and nude only and I don't do lace, or any kind of fancy fabric any more because when I did they were worn less, mostly due to discomfort, expense and handwash requirements. I concluded there were more enjoyable ways to spend my cash and time.
posted by freya_lamb at 6:22 AM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


This is fun! 34C and I have 3 everyday bras (underwire from Target) that I rotate between and wash "as needed". Machine wash cold on gentle cycle, dry on rack. I estimate that I wash each one maybe every 1-2 months which is like once every 10-20 wears. Probably closer to the 20 if I'm being honest. Which is maybe a little bit gross? I don't know, I don't think I smell.

I don't sweat much in general and my bras don't sit under my armpits. I mean, I'm not wearing them on my head or anything, but they sit lower than armpit sweat zone. My bras don't really get sweaty unless I go out hiking in the summer, or something.

This. Starting from the bottom of my armpit and going directly down to the bra strap (roughly where the cup and the strap meet), there is like a solid 3 inches of space, so armpit grossness is not really that close to my bra at all. I do have sort of a long torso. I think this is absolutely how I get away my with bra washing schedule because I'm not otherwise some magical, non-stinky person (i.e. I can sometimes get away with wearing that same top twice before washing but usually no more than that).
posted by eeek at 6:49 AM on December 17, 2016


I love me some Decent Exposures bras, which are comfy and sort of sports-bra-like in form factor. Not the most lift-separate flattering, but so damned comfortable. And machine washable.

Generally, I don't sweat that much where the bra sits (which is well below my armpits), so I can go a few days before I need to wash it. Usually I just wear one until I've been the the gym or otherwise sweated up a storm, then I swap to the next one.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:54 AM on December 17, 2016


I'll throw a bra in the washer if it's exceptionally dirty, like if I spilled salsa on it or something (don't tell me you've never eaten nachos while semi-reclined on the couch in a scoopneck shirt), but usually I handwash a half dozen in the sink every not-often-enough. I always air dry them because I remember that scene from Hedwig and the Angry Inch where you do not! put a bra! in a dryer! It WARPS!

I used to lose underwires all the time when I was a teenager, but I haven't had that problem in years. Either bra technology has advanced or I am a better launderer than my mom.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:02 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


34F here, 4 bras in regular rotation. All underwire. They're unlined (no padding of any kind) and it's not strenuous to launder them (they soak for 15 minutes in a bucket full of lukewarm water with either a couple of squirts of dish detergent or, if I remember, stuff called Soak that doesn't have to be rinsed out).

Given how easy it is, you'd think I'd wash them more often -- but I wash them only every 6 weeks or if I see actual grime. They don't tend to get stinky,* due to lack of direct contact with the aforementioned "sweat zone" (= armpits).

* I'll do a bra sniff test after the cat gets off my lap and will update in a later comment if I am wrong and my bras are grosser than I think.

The real tragedy: I have two in the same style from a British brand -- it fits great and is cheap, so of course the company discontinued that style (sob).
posted by virago at 7:31 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Having an underwire pop out sounds like a nightmare, and I don't exactly trust the industrial machines at the laundromat for their gentleness.

I hand wash my bras every month-ish, even though I, too, believe hand washing to be a tool of the patriarchy. I own six bras (three models, one black and one nude each). Because I am a weird size, they are prohibitively expensive ($70-$130 each). They also usually have to be taken in, which adds a delay between the date of purchase and when I actually have a wearable bra.

The exception: two sports bras get washed after every other workout.

I should probably get over my fear of tossing things into a garment bag, but then I remember that time that I had just about all of my bras give out when I was unemployed, and got all weepy when walking down a flight of stairs with my arms crossed over my chest, because a) ow and b) embarrasing? and c) there has got to be a better way.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:39 AM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


Do you have far more clothes - especially underwear - than I do, or do you wear them multiple times as well?
I have a full month of underpants in my drawer, not including other underpant adjacent garments, so yes, I can get by with laundry every other week. I never put back on underpants that are worn but unwashed.

Someone please correct if I'm wrong, but I have to assume you machine-washers don't wear more than a [D] cup.

Also DD but death-before-underwire. And, no, proper fitting from someone with a tape measure and years of experience fitting bras won't change that. And, no, the right size and fanciest fabrics in the world won't change that. It's a fucking piece of wire, rubbing against my body all day. It's ungodly uncomfortable. Fuck that.
posted by crush-onastick at 7:50 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


I used to lose underwires all the time when I was a teenager, but I haven't had that problem in years. Either bra technology has advanced or I am a better launderer than my mom.
I was actually thinking about this recently! It's been years and years since I've been poked in the armpit by an escaping underwire, but that used to happen to me all the time. I think it's a combination of better bras, better laundry processes, and the fact that I now wear bras that fit.
Someone please correct if I'm wrong, but I have to assume you machine-washers don't wear more than a [D] cup.
30E or F, depending on the style.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:22 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


My nose is superduper strong. I've correctly smelled gas leaks TWICE when the public works guy's equipment didn't. I wash my bra when it smells like BO, which is probably once a month or so, more often in the summer. I try to do it as infrequently as possible because I'm a nursing mom and nursing bras in 36FF are fucking expensive. It's why I only own one at a time, too. I think I washed my last one too often because eventually the underwire just completely came out of it. Wish I could afford more than one.

When I was first breastfeeding I had to wash much more often, but that was because of milk odor, not BO. Letting milk sit next to your damp skin is a bad idea, especially because we had ants.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:30 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


Oh, and I wash my underpants after 1 wearing, jeans after 2-3 wears.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:33 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Machine washer here, I wear a 42 J/K. Though I never put them in the dryer, just because I dry everything on high, and it destroys the elastic. And you need as much snug grip as you can when each boob weighs roughly as much as a newborn.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:33 AM on December 17, 2016


Bras have dead skin in them. I guess I'm not grossed out by it, my body made that?

Um. I don't know how long I go between washing my bras but like, I don't really ever stink even after skating at the skatepark for 4-5 hours straight. I'll wash my underwear A LOT like omg no, you freaking have to but a cami-bralette thing? Uhhh as often as I was a dress? Meaning not all that dang often. I have absolutely zero shame or worry either.
posted by Annika Cicada at 8:36 AM on December 17, 2016


I just want to know where to find the female equivalent of my husband's all-purpose Hanes undershirts...
Something cheap, washable, and outwardly invisible that can protect my clothes from sweat stains and covers/obscures my nipples...
posted by cheshyre at 8:54 AM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


If I had to hand wash them in a sink I'd be a lot grosser than I am, but thankfully I have a nice front loader with a gentle cycle. I'm not actually sure how often I wash them. Maybe every ten wearings?

Confirming that bras just don't get smelly, and I think it has as much to do with the materials as with the distance from your armpit, although that doesn't really make sense because they're synthetic and synthetics are notably disgusting odor holders. I can tell you for sure that if I got any other synthetic garment near my armpits for ten solid days, it would have to go to the landfill. It is a mystery.
posted by HotToddy at 9:00 AM on December 17, 2016


+ 1 to the unpadded underwired bras/ lingerie bag/ machine wash cold + line dry regime. I make weekly washings and in summer I'll wash 2-3 bras a week, 1-2 in winter. Underboob sweat is more of an issue than armpit sweat, too.
posted by sukeban at 9:01 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


that would be awesome to find, cheshyre. I like the Nordstrom housebrand seamless tank in a snug size, but cheap they ain't.
posted by crush-onastick at 9:02 AM on December 17, 2016


I just want to know where to find the female equivalent of my husband's all-purpose Hanes undershirts...

I'm working with my wife (she's a fashion designer) to design a line of undergarments/shorts/skirts/tops for "real life women who want durable, activewear but still want to have a slightly femme of center style" called Ladymonster. But outside what I'm trying to do there are a handful of butch/masc clothing lines.

Mostly I want to be able to ride a skateboard at the skatepark and shred my ass off without shredding the ass off my leggings.
posted by Annika Cicada at 9:06 AM on December 17, 2016 [9 favorites]


After this article I went to my girlfriend all like wait, should I be hand washing and hang drying these? I've been machine wash and drying. She said nah, they're only cheap Target bras, you can just machine wash them, we're not gonna hand wash, it's not 1940.

What even is hand wash? Do you put it in soapy water and... swish it around? I don't know because I am not a Pict, from ancient times, scrubbing kilts down by the river... stabbed in the back by a spear from a passing legionary, known to the Scots in later centuries as the ghastly washer by the ford, wailing, wailing as I wash, seen only by the next in the clan to die. The blood just won't wash out of the tartan!

Anyway I'll only machine wash but I'll hang or lay flat to dry if I have to.
posted by branduno at 9:23 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


Here's a hand wash tutorial.
posted by ocherdraco at 9:45 AM on December 17, 2016


She said nah, they're only cheap Target bras, you can just machine wash them, we're not gonna hand wash, it's not 1940.
I suspect a lot of this comes down to whether you have cheap Target bras or more-expensive specialty bras. If you can use $12 bras, it's not a big deal if you have to replace them every year. But if you have a non-standard size or need a ton of support (or both), you're probably going to be spending upwards of $60 on a bra, and replacing those regularly is not economically feasible for most women. There is no way that I would put a bra in the dryer, but I also spend more on each bra than on just about any other item of clothing other than shoes.
What even is hand wash? Do you put it in soapy water and... swish it around?
My technique is to put it in soapy water, swish it around, let it soak for a while, swish again, and then rinse.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 10:02 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


I just want to know where to find the female equivalent of my husband's all-purpose Hanes undershirts...
Something cheap, washable, and outwardly invisible that can protect my clothes from sweat stains and covers/obscures my nipples...


I 100% needed these when I was waitressing, because IHOP gave me a specific thin button-down shirt that I had to wear that would 100% show the pit stains that I would 100% get

anyway I just went and got men's undershirts, v-neck.

It's the only way to get something that's just cotton and not some stretchy synthetic blend. I really hate women's clothing.
posted by Rainbo Vagrant at 10:12 AM on December 17, 2016


I spend more on each bra than on just about any other item of clothing other than shoes.

Same.

My technique is to put in soapy water, swish it around, let it soak for a while, swish again, and then rinse.

Also same. I will note that my laundering process doesn't involve dashing my undergarments against the rocks of the nearest body of water. (That would be a recipe for hypothermia along the coast of Maine, where I live.)

instead, I avail myself of such advances in technology as heated running water, dish detergent and plastic buckets.
posted by virago at 10:24 AM on December 17, 2016


I'm Team My Underwire Bras Don't Start Smelling After One Wear. They get washed when they smell, not before. I wash them in regular laundry, cold water only, then hang them to dry.

As such, I'm also very over "you don't wash your bras every day you disgusting monster?????????" stances. If the majority of women you meet don't smell like foul bra-stank, and the majority of women report wearing bras more than once between washings, then maybe we can just take it as read that this is a logical behavior based on experience rather than sloth?
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:32 AM on December 17, 2016 [15 favorites]


The really weird thing is that my $30 bras usually survived almost four years with me washing and drying them after every use. IDK why or how. I get the kind that come in small-medium-large sizes and are basically pure elastic with no shaping power.
posted by Rainbo Vagrant at 10:45 AM on December 17, 2016


Not a bra wearer, but as I've been riding my bike more this year I've been trying to think of ways of combining the washing of lycra/etc. clothing with showering, kind of like Kramer and the garbage disposal.
posted by rhizome at 11:05 AM on December 17, 2016


I wash all bras after every single wearing unless, like people above said, I'm literally wearing the bra for twenty minutes or something for some reason. I machine wash on delicate and hang to dry and my bras have a decently long life -- I tend to buy 4-6 new ones every year and just retire the oldest as they wear out.
posted by kate blank at 11:06 AM on December 17, 2016


Thanks for the reminder to go wash bras now. I don't ever notice my underwire bras smelling so those just get tossed in whenever (half nicer half target). Sports bras - different story - after every two uses.
posted by perrouno at 11:25 AM on December 17, 2016


For me, the frequent washing has nothing to do with smell - my skin will object strenuously if I wear a bra more than once between washings. I'm sure that's related to sweat somehow, but everywhere the fabric touches will break out if I don't keep them clean.

Once I learned to keep them out of the dryer, and got up to a number of more than 3 bras, it was no problem to wash them more frequently. I wear $45-60 bras, and getting a year or two out of them seems like a good deal.
posted by taterpie at 11:49 AM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: keep your bras out of the dryer.
posted by Melismata at 12:10 PM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


A friend told me that she gets in the shower wearing that day's bra and underwear and scrubs herself (with gentle soap/shower gel) while still wearing them.

Then she undresses, gives the gusset of her undies another quick do-over with some soap, and continues her shower. Then she hangs them all to dry.

I admit I have done this with my undies when I didn't have time to go to the laundromat, but not with a bra yet.
posted by vickyverky at 12:21 PM on December 17, 2016


Big boobed hot flashing living in the deep south lady here. I despise underwire bras, and only wear them on special occasions, so those get a quick sink wash when I wear them, so I don't put them away dirty. Most days, I roll up a bandana, which I tuck between boobs low enough to not be visible, and tuck the tails under each boob, and then wear two spandex type sports bras. It's enough compression to keep them from moving too much, but not so much that it's uncomfortable.

Thus, bandana and bottom sports bra get dropped in laundry daily, but the top bra goes into rotation again. Regular soft bras, I'll wear a couple times, because I'm rarely wearing them for more than a couple of hours.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 12:55 PM on December 17, 2016


There are couple companies that sell strips of wicking fabric to tuck under your breasts under your bras. I find the synthetic (Wick'em brand) more effective than the bamboo fabric ones, but I don't find any of them comfortable enough to use regularly. But there are several products out there, designed to deal with underboob sweat.
posted by crush-onastick at 1:17 PM on December 17, 2016


44E here, and my hefty (and pricey) bras get thrown in the mesh bag, washed on cold, and hung up to dry. In the summers I sweat like a beast so they get washed after one wear; in winter if I haven't been sweaty I wait for the sniff test.

As for the problem of underboob sweat... that's what some non-talc body power--or even a swipe of the ol' anti-perspirant--is for.
posted by TwoStride at 2:00 PM on December 17, 2016


Also, it's ironing that's the real tool of the patriarchy.
posted by TwoStride at 2:01 PM on December 17, 2016 [10 favorites]


Previously. How often do we wash derail starts here.
posted by Mchelly at 3:38 PM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


Our bras go into the machine every fortnight in a bag, soft cycle, line dry.
We are my daughter and I who both have far too big boobs (why would anyone get enlargements, it makes no sense)*, and we both hate wearing bras. So we only wear them when it is absolutely necessary. She at school or when partying, I when I have to interact with others at work, which isn't always. Sometimes I only wear my bra for three hours a day - I don't feel I have to wash it after that, same with my other formal clothes. Many days, I don't have to wear a bra at all. Also, In spite of always only getting expensive fitted bras, there are few that feel comfortable, and I try to keep those forever.
IMO, if you are cursed with bigger boobs, you need to wash more often, because there is this sweaty place beneath the boobs. To me, if unattended for just a day it smells like that time when I broke my arm and I couldn't bathe that part of my body for 3 months. It doesn't smell like that BO you get when people don't bathe regularly.

*An anecdote that is interesting to me, because it tells me that many women don't get or want the big boobs: my daughter looks like Kate Moss (no, really) except she is 5 inches taller and wears an E bra. Many people might envy this. But last time she was at a fitting - she can't buy a bra at a regular store - the salesperson whispered to me how sad it was for her, and how tough she was, taking it all in stride. And she was right: my girl can't buy a shirt in Zara or H&M, she hasn't ever had a dress after she grew breasts, she has never had anything tight-fitting. She wears her coats unbuttoned at all times, just like her mum. Things that are important for a teenager, she has to live with being outside, always. It was really comforting to me that another woman acknowledged her hardship instead of going with the banal tabloid view of bigger is better.
posted by mumimor at 4:22 PM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]


BTW obvs, every woman in my family has this problem. So some years ago my aunt found a store in a small provincial town where they were really good at fitting and had all the bras. I believe we as a family kept that store alive for decades. We would go to that small town on holidays just to stock up on bras. But even amazing tiny lingerie store owners have to retire at some point, and now we are doomed.
posted by mumimor at 4:39 PM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]


real life women who want durable, activewear but still want to have a slightly femme of center style

I am such a woman and just want to say: bless you both.
posted by soren_lorensen at 4:43 PM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm a little surprised at the low number of bras. I mean, pre-internet commerce I can understand it, but a few years ago I found a site with decent selection of brands, experimented with different ones a bit (buying on sale), then once I had found a couple that suited me (one style of sports bra, one more traditional) I just brought a bunch every time they had a sale, and now I probably have 15 in the styles I like most plus maybe 15 others that aren't as good. They aren't really that expensive unless you really like Victoria Secret style or something -- I usually can get them for 20-30 bucks.
posted by tavella at 4:53 PM on December 17, 2016


I have a completely utilitarian bra that I wear most days. It fits perfectly, is comfortable, and looks awesome under most clothes. It costs $70 on sale, and it's the cheapest bra I've ever been able to wear for more than a few hours. I'm glad that some people can wear cheaper bras, but yes, they really are that expensive for many of us.
posted by lazuli at 10:45 PM on December 17, 2016 [8 favorites]


My family are mostly top-heavy too, mumimor. I know the postage is worse from the USA, but still - has your daughter tried Pepperberry
Urkye
Biubiu
or DD Atelier?


I wear 30HH and I'm not the largest busted in my family by a long way.
posted by tulipwool at 2:31 AM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


20 times 30 is still $600 worth of bras. Obviously that's spread out over time, but it's still a lot of money. For me, it would be closer to $1800 worth of bras.

Buying bras is just very, very different if you're an uncommon size. I used to be a common size, and it was so easy. Now, if I'm lucky, the best-stocked department store in my area will have three or four in a size I can wear*, and one of those will actually fit. If I'm extremely lucky, it will be in a style I can wear frequently. If it's a day when the universe has decided to bestow me with an unprecedented miracle, it will be under $60.

I hate shopping for bras online because it is a fucking expensive hassle. I can't afford to shell out $250 at once to try on a selection, and that's before you even get into shipping costs you have to eat when you have to return the ones that don't fit (because shipping's not always free).

* I didn't say "my size" because they never have three or four in my size, like maybe they will have one in my size, but if I compromise by going up a band size I might find more.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 3:40 AM on December 18, 2016 [5 favorites]


What this thread has illuminated for me is that the specialty-large-bra-size industry is ripe for disruption. When I was 220 pounds and a 38DD, I could by bras at Victoria's Secret and Macy's. (Soma didn't yet exist.) They were like maybe $30 each. Then I lost tons of weight, got refitted, and learned the new truth that with a 32FF size, I'm restricted to buying from Nordstrom, specialty lingerie stores, and sites selling discontinued styles I would normally buy at Nordstrom at a slight discount (e.g. Figleaves).

A few years ago the mall chain Soma started selling larger sizes, but their lowest band size is 34. Someone needs to make bras for less than $50 with large cups and low band sizes. After Oprah schooled everyone that no, you're not just a D, it seems to me that there would be a greater need for sizes like mine. And yet we're all still paying north of $60 per bra. As I said upthread, it would cost me a mortgage payment to replace my bras.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 4:13 AM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Meanwhile, large band sizes and small cups for those of us with barrel chests and small boobs just literally don't exist. The cup from a 32 or 30 B would be perfect for me, if it were on a 40 or 42 band, but even a 40AA (which is a fucking rare beast) is just hilariously too big a cup.
posted by Dysk at 4:46 AM on December 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


My cheaper ($10-25) all-fabric bras that I wear when sleeping or bumming around at home I throw in the wash every few weeks. But of actual, supportive bras, I've only found one style of one brand ($65+, imported) that fits me just right, and so I treat those like they're made of pure gold, and I handwash them a few times year (mainly in the summer—it's too cold to ever sweat the rest of the year). ...The underwire still breaks after a year or so, anyway.

(I wash them with Forever New power, which works so much better than regular laundry detergent, in my experience.)
posted by Maladroid at 4:53 AM on December 18, 2016


I have one white bra in circulation purely to remind me when it's time to do a bra washing. White bras keep no secrets. And like everyone above, grundies get washed after one wash. Unless you're nursing, there's no secretions to worry about with bras. Undies are different, of course they're one wear and into the wash. Let's be real here.
posted by h00py at 5:55 AM on December 18, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I'm a 28/30 D/DD/F depending on brand, and there are no cheapo Target or even slightly less cheapo Victoria's Secret bras available with bands that small. I can and did for many years wear a 32 band on the smallest fasteners but then the minute it stretches out a bit it's useless cause you can't make it any smaller. Buying the size that fits on the largest fasteners gets me more use of (fairly expensive) bras as they stretch.

I am a stinky, stinky girl. I only wear sports bras once, maybe 2 or 3 times if I'm only wearing them to bike to work in winter so I'm not sweating much, before washing. Underwear is obvs a 1 time only wear. When I buy new underwear I always struggle with the choice between cotton undies (breathable, but panty lines and not cute) vs synthetic ones (cute and sleek but stink up so fast.) I can't go more than 3 or so wears of any jeans before I can smell them, and leggings are 1-2 wears. Tops are one wear, that's it. So it's not that I'm some magically unstinky person (I wish, I think I tend towards the other side of the stank curve.)

But for some reason I swear that my bras don't get stinky that quickly. Put me in the machine wash on delicate in a lingerie bag, line dry, every 2-4 weeks depending on a variety of factors category. I have 4 pairs I wear regularly and try to rotate so they always have at least a day to air out before re-wearing, but I honestly don't notice a difference even if I wear the same one multiple days in a row.
posted by misskaz at 11:36 AM on December 18, 2016


h00py: grundies get washed after one wash.

You must be washing a lot.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:36 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]


Meanwhile, large band sizes and small cups for those of us with barrel chests and small boobs just literally don't exist.

I assume you probably know this already, but on the off-chance you don't: bra extenders can add band width to any bra. The person that I know with a similar size to you uses them, although recently she's started having better luck with larger-sized bralettes (bless that trend).

I hardly ever wash my bras because I'm afraid of ruining them (and I'm not that sweaty a person, especially in the general bra area) but they still end up curling away from my body at the top edge of the cup at some point. Can someone enlighten me - is that likely to be a washing issue? Fit issue? Something else?
posted by R a c h e l at 5:47 AM on December 19, 2016


> I'm a little surprised at the low number of bras. I mean, pre-internet commerce I can understand it, but a few years ago I found a site with decent selection of brands, experimented with different ones a bit (buying on sale), then once I had found a couple that suited me (one style of sports bra, one more traditional) I just brought a bunch every time they had a sale, and now I probably have 15 in the styles I like most plus maybe 15 others that aren't as good. They aren't really that expensive unless you really like Victoria Secret style or something -- I usually can get them for 20-30 bucks.

I wear a 30E. So, none of the above exists.
posted by desuetude at 10:04 AM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


(FYI people, "nude" is a state of being, not a color. Nude is not the same color for everyone, and "nude" usually defaults to white.)
posted by LizBoBiz at 10:21 AM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]


I assume you probably know this already, but on the off-chance you don't: bra extenders can add band width to any bra. The person that I know with a similar size to you uses them, although recently she's started having better luck with larger-sized bralettes (bless that trend).

Adding like ten fucking inches to the band? Yeah, no - the shoulder straps are at that point in so completely the wrong place as to render the garment useless.
posted by Dysk at 10:24 AM on December 19, 2016


I wear a 30E. So, none of the above exists.

It doesn't look like 30 DD/E is that unusual? Quite a few styles and some in the 20-30 dollar range.
posted by tavella at 10:29 AM on December 19, 2016


Bra sizing gets confusing in the larger cup sizes, but DD and E aren't equivalent in the bras that I wear. (I think they may be equivalent in US sizes, but I would wear an F or G in US sizes. I wear a 30E or F in British sizes.) And while that site says that they have my current favorite, Panache Andorra, for as low as $44, it turns out that the only ones available in 30E cost $63.

I think, as with most things, it's probably a good idea to assume that people are telling you the truth when they tell you about their experience.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 10:40 AM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well, yes, but you were claiming none of this exists, in terms of being able to buy online. Even if you limit it to a single favorite brand and style, there's clearly plenty of 30E bras available in internet commerce, so finding the right sites and then waiting for good sales or coupons, as I did, remains an option. I also found them somewhat cheaper on Amazon, though I don't know if they deliver to the UK, and the UK version's sizing is a bit confusing so it's not clear if the 'manufacturer's size' 30E is actually UK 30E.
posted by tavella at 10:54 AM on December 19, 2016


ArbitraryAndCapricious: I would wear an F or G in US sizes

tavella: there's clearly plenty of 30E bras available in internet commerce

...
posted by Dysk at 10:58 AM on December 19, 2016


I uh just wash my bras with the rest of my clothes? In the washer on delicate? And hang to dry? I admit, I replace bras more often than I'd prefer - they probably only last me a couple of years - but I sweat. Three or four days with the same bra is absolutely the maximum, just one in the summer or if I'm doing anything active at all. I am not an uncommon size, though, and I absolutely understand the financial constraints of bra shopping. Sales at the Gap are where it's at, but I stock up when I go home to Italy because Intimissimi has relatively cheap very sturdy bras.

"Hand wash only" is absolutely a suggestion not a rule, I'd never leave the house if I had to wash all my clothes in the sink.

But I also wear my jeans twice and then wash them, ew. They're PANTS, they get filthy. Wash cold, hang to dry, done.
posted by lydhre at 11:09 AM on December 19, 2016


Well, yes, but you were claiming none of this exists, in terms of being able to buy online.
I didn't claim that, actually. I do buy my bras online. I don't typically buy them online for $20 or $30, because that's not really a thing for people who wear my size, and I don't own a ton of bras, because owning a ton of $65 bras is not in my budget right now. I get that this is very alien to you and you don't understand it, which is ok, I guess. But you're just going to have to trust me that there's a reason that I pay a lot for bras and only own a few, and it's not that I'm just much dumber than you are.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 12:38 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dysk, in the second one, I was referring to sites that were using 30E as a UK size -- it's not clear whether Bare Necessities's 30E is british 30E, but Debenham's certainly is and I would think Marks & Spencer as well.
posted by tavella at 1:04 PM on December 19, 2016


What is your investment in this?
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 1:11 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]


> it's not clear whether Bare Necessities's 30E is british 30E,

30E is supposed to be equivalent to 30DDD, not 30DD, in US sizes. However, US sites will sometimes skip DDD in their size lists and switch over to UK sizing or something. I don't know. It's confusing and inconsistent. (That's not even getting into the issue of the same label-size bras being actually completely different sizes depending on the manufacturer.)

Return shipping isn't free and there's a restocking fee on Bare Necessities and many other lingerie-focused shopping sites. Ordering a bunch of bras over the internet in "my size" is not an efficient or cost-effective solution.

I didn't mean that the internet literally doesn't sell 30E bras. I meant that I can't just skip off and readily stock on a whole slew of $20 bras. I do have a perpetual lookout for sales on a particular style/brand that works pretty well for me (Natori Feathers, if anyone of my approximate size is looking) but even on sale they're typically about $45.
posted by desuetude at 2:16 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]


My bras get handwashed...when I feel like it, previously using regular powdered laundry detergent, now using Soak. "When I feel like it" translates to about monthly in the summer, and longer when it's cold. I get away with this frequency due to rotation and airing-out, and wearing either a machine-washable bra substitute or going without when I know I'm going to get gross and sweaty (gardening, mostly).

I am also on Team Uncommon-ish Size That Has to Buy $50-60 Bras Online. I do mostly buy when they are on sale, but the bra that fits me best almost never goes on sale. I'm (luckily) now up to 6 of the bestest bra for me (Cleo Juna), with 8 others that I don't like as much, or that I haven't really tried to wear for a full day (one was given to me by a similarly-sized friend who didn't want to deal with the hassle of returning it to the UK). And after seeing how beat up even infrequently machine washed bras look compared to (identical make, model, size, color) new or just hand-washed bras, I'm definitely not doing machine washing unless really necessary. (I would take comparison pictures, but today is infrequent hand wash day and everything is drip-drying.)

(Underpants are worn for one day and then washed; pants and jeans are worn for 1-3 wears because I tend to spill things and because my laundry basket tends to fill up. Funny how that happens.)
posted by smangosbubbles at 6:19 PM on December 19, 2016


Team Machine Wash here - but I use special bra washing bags (e.g. cylindrical with plastic frame like this, or conical like this), laundered in cold water, and line dried. I wear DD/DDD cup, and none of my bras disintegrated in the wash, nor underwires started poking out. They just experience normal wear and stretching after a couple of years. Before that I used to hand wash my bras.

Umm, I've never counted how many bras I have. I pick up bras in my size in my preferred brand when I spot online sales or if I happen to be in a department store and happen to notice sales or the clearance rack. So I usually have a stash of new bras in the back of a dresser drawer which I draw from when a pair currently in rotation starts looking ratty or just displeases me in some way.
posted by needled at 3:07 PM on December 20, 2016


(I didn't mention that I line dry rather than tumble, because I line dry everything - tumble drying is the single hardest thing on clothes short of maybe actual fire, and will ruin bras immediately in my experience.)
posted by Dysk at 3:17 PM on December 20, 2016


People who don't deal with sizes larger than DD may not be aware that there are different sizing scales for the US and the UK, and that often, it seems like the merchants are purposely obfuscating what the actual fuck size I'm supposed to be ordering from their stupid discount sites. I'm a 32FF in MOST of the bra brands sold at Nordstrom, but then sometimes if I stray away from known brands I get told "Oh that's a US sized one, here, you're a G." And I'm like WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

So when a woman with an unusual bra size says "There's nothing available in my size" it's because it can be really fucking confusing what her size actually is, and hunting and pecking for a 32FF in certain brands will result in a null set. You just have to magically know that a brand is US or UK.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 9:04 AM on December 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


There are also different sizing sytems for EU and France/ Spain that use centimeters for the band size but different measures (for example Euro band 85 = FR/ES band 100), because why not *hollow laughter*
posted by sukeban at 12:27 AM on December 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'd guess I have around 20 bras right now, but because of the odd size they were all really fucking expensive. It's just a given that if I want a cream, tan, or black bra (those rarely go on sale) I'm paying $80-100 each, finding off color/style bras on sale for ~$60, and once in a blue moon finding one close enough to my size on clearance at Nordstrom Rack for ~$35 (but never a perfect fitting one of course). Guys have no idea, most I know think that Victoria's Secret are expensive/nice and think I'm being extravagant for paying so much. But what they don't realize is that it's a structural garment that is required to do anything besides lay on my couch (like walking down the stairs, ouch!). My boyfriend has expensive French taste and the stuff he has pointed me to only comes in S, M, L. I had to explain to him that even if I lost 1/3 of my body weight I will never fit in those size bras as they are not made for busty ladies.

Of those 20 bras I have, usually only 3 are in regular rotation. Most others are now the wrong size/I've grown out of them (but because they were so much money I don't have the heart to get rid of), a few are fancy/more for looks and get limited use because I can't really walk around in them all day as I'll fall out or be in too much pain so I just wear them from maybe dinner onwards, and then there's a few that are my workhorses that I wear every day, and then a few of my workhorses from years past that are too stretched out/old that I wear when I need a bra but am mucking about the house and don't want to "waste" a newer bra by getting it dirty or adding to its wear and tear. Now that I'm thinking about it I put a lot of effort around bra wearing/owning.

Still, 10-20 years ago before I knew about specialty bra stores (and probably couldn't have afforded them anyway) I was so sad that I couldn't wear cute bras. In the 90s I used to get crazy excited to find a black bra in my size. All that was available in department stores in larger than a D (even a DD!) was white, unflattering matronly bras. I used to eye the little bras in bright colors or crazy patterns and then would never come in my size. A lot still don't (how I covet bralettes and long line bras, sigh), but there are so many more color, pattern, and style choices than before. We still have a long way to go on price, but there a few people starting to make custom lingerie. Impish Lee let's you design and size your own stuff—very cool but also very expensive (granted, hand made items cost a lot). I would love a disruptor in the large bra market, but also am not sure that the quality of construction needed to provide support would be enough in a cheap brand.
posted by Bunglegirl at 8:20 AM on December 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


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