Why Your New Years Eve Celebrations will Probably Suck [3min 34sec SYTL]

December 30, 2016 7:59 AM

Remember: NYE is only 0.273972603% of the entire year. Quick draw Youtube Channel AsapScience explains why the expectations and the reality of New Years Eve celebrations so rarely match.

TLDR (or watch in this case)
#1 Expectations.
#2 Trying Too Hard - Trying to hard to have a good time, gets in the way of actually having a good time!
#3 The Optimism Bias. Wikipedia Explanation.
#4 Reflection - Too much self reflection can lead us to dwell on negative events.
#5 Alcohol - The drunker you get the more intensive your feelings and mood swings are likely to be.
#6 Cost - Most Bars / Clubs / Restaurants / Taxi services have a price surge to reflect increased demand.
#7 The Kiss. THE KISS.

posted by Faintdreams (49 comments total)

I've never expected more than either a few drinks with friends or a quiet night at home with my wife. Am I doing it wrong?
posted by octothorpe at 8:09 AM on December 30, 2016 [7 favorites]

Hmm, mine have almost all had some of these aspects but I've never been unhappy.
posted by dozo at 8:10 AM on December 30, 2016

While Nate Silver and his crew lost some credibility during the recent election, their analysis of how to properly dance to Shout appears to still be valid. Happy new year, y'all.
posted by workerant at 8:15 AM on December 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

I have been to one really good NYE party that totally lived up to billing (except for the kissing part - do people really do this? Not in my social circles.) That was years ago but it's still nice to know that I've been to one.

Last NYE I went out dancing but it was kind of a drag - we went to a place where it was more "performative 'sexy' dancing on a really crowded floor to boring slow music" than "dance enthusiastically until you get a great endorphin high", which is my preferred type of dancing. It was actually sort of creepy and we ended up going somewhere else after an hour or so.

This NYE it's going to be friends, snacks and a movie. I'm kind of thinking that going dancing on NYE is far more likely to be overcrowded and creepy than anything else, and no particularly enticing parties are on the radar.
posted by Frowner at 8:27 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think honestly maybe the expectation of a New Years' Kiss doesn't work anymore in our society, and maybe only did when you could grab random strangers and kiss them with no fear of consequence or care about what their feelings were. You know, the not-always-great-for-ladies Mad Men 40s.
posted by corb at 8:28 AM on December 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

Christmas is for the family, New Year's is for us.

We've been booking meal/inn packages for the past few years and have found that really fun. We're older, child-free and pretty dull quiet though.

I'm especially looking-forward to this year as we've both been working through the period, as well as me being on call. It's not really felt like the usual holidays for either of us. But this will be a little mini vacation for just us.
posted by bonehead at 8:30 AM on December 30, 2016

Literally the only expectation I have for NYE is that when it's over it won't be 2016 anymore. If we can't manage to clear that bar...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:31 AM on December 30, 2016 [10 favorites]

I've had some good New Year's. I've had some utterly awful ones. It does seem hit or miss.

My boyfriend and I were being indecisive -- we didn't really want to go out (options seemed less than appealing) and neither of our places really seemed right (mostly due to housemates and such). So I said "What if we just got a hotel room?" I found a great deal at one nearby (nothing fancy but nice, and for the price, basically what a night out would have cost us anyway) and it seems like the best balance of not going out but also not really staying in. Maybe this will be a tradition.
posted by darksong at 8:33 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Growing up with a bunch of fellow Russian immigrant friends, NYE was always the biggest party of the year and for many, many years we actually managed to pull that off. Teenage drinkfests! 'til-dawn quasi-legal drum and bass raves! Wild houseparties where somehow there was both a fight and a fuck in my room that I thought the door to which was locked (at least I knew who was fucking in there.) Other activities which may not have passed the point of liability!

Now I'm fucking 32 with a nearly-burned-out brain and I am genuinely looking forward to spending a quiet evening eating Russian food and chilling out with my wife and one of my oldest friends, her husband and their kid. Maybe we will watch a movie.
posted by griphus at 8:34 AM on December 30, 2016 [7 favorites]

If you have kids and access to Netflix you can make New Years Eve happen at anytime you want. King Julian (Madagascar movie spin off) has a count down and it has noise and fun and fireworks and it is on TV or device - but New Year's Eve starts when you want it too and then you can put their sleepy heads to bed!
posted by mutt.cyberspace at 8:53 AM on December 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

as i've always said, it pays to not be basic

well, it doesn't cost as much financial, social, and emotional capital at least
posted by runt at 9:10 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm going to bed early. 2016 was so awful, I don't even want to watch it leave.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:28 AM on December 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

I got heckled by a cop a few years ago when running for a train at Jamaica after a New Year's house party. "Yeah, you get back to Long Island!" That's some fine police work, Lou.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:35 AM on December 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm planning on participating in a ritual slaughter of the outgoing year, I just need a ram dao and a willing proxy sacrifice, hook me up?
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:36 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

The only expectation I've ever had for a NYE party is that there would be some food and drink. Sometimes friends. Sometimes just the two of us. Hell, I never even expect to still be awake at midnight.

I never understood the ginormous blowouts some people have, though. Nor, do I get resolutions.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:40 AM on December 30, 2016

I was in the elevator with a couple of 20-somethings a couple of days ago.

"What are you doing for New Years? Well I need to find a rave or something but I really don't want to do anything and my budget for the night is only $40."

"Yeah, maybe I can find a party or something...."

Neither of them were looking forward to it but somehow feel some immense social pressure to do *something*.

I, on the other hand, am very happy I'm nearing my late 30s and can now find it socially acceptable to stay home, do nothing, maybe go to bed early and make myself a nice breakfast in the morning.

I've never had a good New Years when I've actually tried to do something. Too many people, amateur drinkers, overly expensive not very fun events. Ew.
posted by mikesch at 9:46 AM on December 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

Nth-ing the "I'm an old, I'm staying home and chilling with spousal person", albeit with some Champagne.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 9:49 AM on December 30, 2016

NYRR Midnight Run. A 4-mile run around Central Park that starts at the stroke of midnight. My wife and I discovered it about 5 years ago and it's our new tradition. Up until that, we loathed everything about NYE, but of course the social pressure to Do Something was there.
posted by quite unimportant at 9:50 AM on December 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

Literally the only expectation I have for NYE is that when it's over it won't be 2016 anymore. If we can't manage to clear that bar...

A leap second is being added on NYE, at 23:59:60 UTC, so it'll still be 2016 for juuuust a fraction longer than we're expecting.

Actually, genuine question: do televised new year's countdowns account for leap seconds? Any big "ten, nine..." chant has to either start or end at the wrong time, which do they pick? Or will they go for the daring "three, two, one, one..."?

Regarding disappointing celebrations: I just moved to Edinburgh, but have come back to Sheffield for the weekend at very short notice to deal with some landlord admin stuff. So, instead of my first Hogmanay with a mix of old and new friends, my NYE is in an empty flat in Yorkshire. Woo.
posted by metaBugs at 9:55 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

For the too-manyth year in a row, I'll be ringing in the new year playing soft rock tunes for a (checks...) yup, nearly sold-out crowd. Tonight is the night my wife and I usually celebrate, since it's the anniversary of our first date.
posted by emelenjr at 9:58 AM on December 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

Actually, genuine question: do televised new year's countdowns account for leap seconds? Any big "ten, nine..." chant has to either start or end at the wrong time, which do they pick? Or will they go for the daring "three, two, one, one..."?

I assume for television purposes, they'd just smear that leap second into the last minute of the countdown: that is, make each second of the last minute last 1/60th of a second longer. It'd be effectively unnoticeable. Easiest way to go about it.
posted by and they trembled before her fury at 10:03 AM on December 30, 2016

I have a 3-year-old with a nagging cough, a wife who's five months pregnant, and an ever-escalating amount of sleep debt. My NYE plans involve an early bedtime for the kiddo, a bottle of brut rose, Civilization 6, and a 9:30 bedtime.

The secret to exceeding expectations is to set your standards really, really low.
posted by Mayor West at 10:19 AM on December 30, 2016 [6 favorites]

TLDR: By drinking sparkling wine and festive foodstuffs all year long you can have as much New Year's Eve as you need to never live up to silly expectations.

Also.

FUCK GOING TO THE GYM WOOHOO
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:30 AM on December 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't think I have ever had a bad NYE. I have little kids now so don't do anything at all, but prior to that I can't ever remember a bad time.

No, wait! 1999 -> 2000 I was at this huge club in Philly on Delaware Ave. I don't remember which one, but they had erected a huge circus tent to increase the space but no one was really out in it. I was with a friend and we were dancing sillily in the open space. For some reason I grabbed her arms and started spinning quickly so that she was flying around like you would do with a small child. Unfortunately she was a full grown adult and I overestimated my abilities. She slipped out of my hands and hit her head on a post. She sat up, put her hand on her head and it came out all covered in blood!

I freaked out but she said she was fine and went to the bathroom to clean it up. I thought she was dying and was totally upset, and for whatever reason I didn't see her come back out of the bathroom so I waited there for like an hour but she never came. I finally gave up waiting but by that time couldn't find my other friends and ended up going home alone, certain that I had just killed someone.

The next day we all met at the Mummer's Parade and everything was hunky dory, but that night I was freaking out, man.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:34 AM on December 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

I believe I read an article saying the Times Square ball drop will take 61 seconds counted out as such, to honor the leap-second. (The leap-second is actually at midnight UTC)
posted by PMdixon at 10:34 AM on December 30, 2016

Having a fun NYE is dependent almost entirely on your state of mind. I go into it with a WOOHOO mindset and have a blast. I've scaled muddy hills in the rain, paid too much for a sad-ass spy-themed experience, been schooled in a dance-off, had to walk 5 miles home because there were no taxis and watched a basic Windows stopwatch do the countdown. None of it mattered because the point of NYE isn't a specific goal, it is the act of celebration. Plus, crazy shenanigans - even objectively disappointing ones - make for good stories.

As for the kiss, has it ever been a thing to grab a stranger? I have my doubts about that.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:36 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

If clover clamps are wrong, I don't want to be right.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:42 AM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

The hardcore party crowd, of course, knows that the "E" in NYE is anti-climatic, with the ball drop being the start of the festivities, with all-day raving to be had all day on the first and into the second.

"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded" isn't meant to be taken seriously.
posted by fragmede at 10:44 AM on December 30, 2016

My NYE will probably NOT suck, thank you very much. I really can't stand these kinds of headlines telling ME what MY experience is going to be.
posted by tunewell at 11:01 AM on December 30, 2016

I refer to NYE as "Amateur Drunk Driver Night."

So many first-time DUIs will be handed out that night. Guaranteed.
posted by 81818181818181818181 at 11:12 AM on December 30, 2016

We walk a half mile to our park, watch the fireworks with about 10,000 friends, and walk home. It's sometimes really cold, and the wait to actually go out at 11pm is difficult if I woke up at 6am to run, but it's nice doing the same thing every year.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:26 AM on December 30, 2016

[10,000 friends and apparently quite unimportant and wife]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:28 AM on December 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

We've had a small get together at our place for the past few years, chiefly because we don't want to have to leave home (most of the attendees are within walking distance as well). The dress code is sequins and/or sweatpants (we do not care if you adhere to the dress code). If anyone wants a kiss, we have a cat available for midnight smooches. The expectations are pretty much limited to there being a bunch of different cheeses. It seems like people are satisfied with this; they keep coming back.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:34 AM on December 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

So, for a long time I was under a New Year's Eve curse where on every NYE without fail, for four years in a row, something terrible would happen to me. One NYE I was cheated on, the next NYE my abusive now-ex raged at me and subsequently abandoned me for the night (I was in tears), the NYE after that I ended up in the ER for a kidney infection, and the NYE after that my banking information was stolen- which my bank failed to inform me of so when I went to the ABC store to buy liquor for my NYE celebration, my debit card was declined. That's right: my debit card was declined at the liquor store. When I told the clerk that I had just been paid and I didn't understand why my card would get declined, she gave me a cruel smile and responded "Uh huh." I think when I got back in my car I did that thing where you scream into a pillow (in this case, my scarf and mittens) to keep myself from losing my mind.

Yeah. So, the bar for New Years celebrations has been set VERY low for me. I would be happy to stay home and just watch Buffy and X-Files reruns with a bottle of red. The past two NYEs I even went to bed before midnight. This will actually be the first time in a decade that I look forward to New Years and will bother to stay up. 2016 was worse than any NYE in my past, cursed or not. Like many of us, I want to be there when it ends.
posted by nightrecordings at 11:41 AM on December 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

For a number of years, when I was a bartender, I worked on New Year's Eve. When you're sober and at work, and everyone else is drunk, it's pretty easy to judge how much fun people are actually having. Without question in my mind, New Year's Eve crowds are typically less happy than any other night of the year. Christmas Eve crowds, however, are probably the happiest of the year. Christmas Eve has a critical mass of people getting drunk because they're happy, while NYE has a critical mass of people getting drunk because they want to be happy. It doesn't have to be a majority to change the atmosphere of a room. This isn't to say that Christmas is "better" than NYE; the difference between the two nights is that Christmas Eve is actually thought of as the eve of something, and hence is about anticipation, while NYE isn't really a celebration of being really excited about the new year. Anticipation is easier to enjoy than reality.

The only exceptions to this "most miserable night" rule are probably the New Year's Eves I spent working in the most hardcore of local pubs, where 95% of the people there on NYE would come in at least once a week and often every night. It's hard to get your expectations too high when you're going to the place you spend more time in than anywhere other than home and work.

The problem with going out on NYE is that, for me at least, being out in a fractious, overexcited and ultimately unhappy environment isn't a lot of fun, even if my expectations of the experience are realistic. I think New Year's Eve is almost invariably better spent away from the company of strangers, with people whom you like and who have similar expectations to you. It's just much easier to feel happy when you're not surrounded by other people who are having a bad night and don't understand why.
posted by howfar at 11:52 AM on December 30, 2016 [9 favorites]

NYE is a weird one for me. It comes right after the Holidays and all their personal obligations, as well as my busiest time of the year professionally. After Christmas I find myself just REALLY REALLY wanting a weekend to sit in the woods by myself and stare at trees or something, but I think many other people swing opposite, and need a blowout to clear the air. I get that.

I hate to be a wet blanket. Usually I can hang, but even when I was a younger spud I found that my "enjoy other people's company" batteries are on zero and I just can't pull off a proper party right then. So mostly I just drink whisky and watch 200 Cigarettes or something, to mark the occasion.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, do what makes you happy, right? Happy New Year, Metafilter.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 11:53 AM on December 30, 2016

If you don't think 2017 can be worse than 2016, let me be the first to introduce you to pessimism.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:36 PM on December 30, 2016 [6 favorites]

Yeah, I don't see any reasons to think that next year will be better and I can think of quite a few why it could be significantly worse.
posted by octothorpe at 1:16 PM on December 30, 2016

A worthy red blend.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 1:32 PM on December 30, 2016

NYE is horrible and tiresome and annoying and loud, it's like a giant baby i'm somehow socially obligated to like, and i gave up pretending ages ago

i will be doing the same thing i do every saturday night, which is playing overwatch with incredibly great friends while each of us gets increasingly ridiculous potgs that show us emoting on the mangled corpses of our enemies and then dying comically from our own hubris
posted by poffin boffin at 2:00 PM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

While I've never done the "kiss a stranger" thing, as a stupid, fairly attractive 18yo, I think I did a "kiss a co-worker you hardly know" thing one new years. He was probably twice my age and could have been married for all I know. Cringe.

Nowadays, I stay in, but I used to love love love First Night in Boston. We'd go to plays and listen to choruses and look at the ice sculptures. I did it two or three years and loved it. The drunks were mainly good natured, and I always thought that since there was an artistic purpose to the night, not just a party, it culled some of the drunkenness. Years later, I was in Chicago and had to run for my life. Literally, the streets were on fire and we were chased off the subway. Then I did the NYC thing, and people were taking baseball bats to cars. I longed for some good old fashioned ice-sculpture viewing.
posted by greermahoney at 2:04 PM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

At least things are better then they were in 1951. Per Jimmy Cannon...

Dec. 31—Nothing will help you. You’ll get drunk and regret it with a belligerent pride. You’ll go for more money than you should. You’ll tip the captain of waiters a day’s pay to sit down close to the floor show which you’ll never see because they’ll have you out in the men’s room putting ice on your forehead when it goes on. You’ll tell the guys down at the shop about the hole the blonde’s cigarette burned in your tux. You’ll swear you’ll never do it again. It’s a pledge you’ll fracture in a year. You’ll bet you left your ring and wrist watch on the sink in the gents’ place. Your wife will contradict you and insist the cab driver rolled you when he lifted you out of the taxi. You’ll wear your eye black with the dashing pride of a company clerk showing off his Good Conduct Medal on the first furlough. You’ll be sick to your stomach.
posted by TheShadowKnows at 6:33 PM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'll be where I always am, in a relaxing chair with a thick book and a dozing cat. Two years ago it was Pynchon's "Gravity's Rainbow", last year it was Perec's "Life, A User's Manual", this year will be J. G. Ballard's collected stories. I can definitely imagine things I'd rather be doing, and specific people I'd rather be doing them with, but as a single, middle-aged academic I conform predictably and pedantically to my type.
posted by informavore at 7:11 PM on December 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

I've given up on doing anything but going to the movies and watching the Rose Parade the next day. I wish I could have awesome plans, but I haven't been invited to any since like, 1999.

NERD.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:04 PM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

I don't do NYE, or as I call it, Amateur Night.

I work tonight so I get to see other people navigate the ups and downs of spending NYE in a saloon. I always had more fun working rather than partying. And I sure as hell feel a lot better the next day.

Happy New Year everyone. I wish you all the very best in the coming year.
posted by james33 at 6:09 AM on December 31, 2016

My advice: Stay home and ring in 1958 with Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians (sponsored by Clairol).
posted by LastOfHisKind at 6:32 AM on December 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have a feeling that the New Years Eve kiss is about on the same level as the Mistletoe kiss.

A little over two decades ago this morning I woke up to my father letting me know my mother had died in the night. New Year's Eve was never a party night for me, and after that, it really wasn't.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:42 PM on December 31, 2016

I spent it here with you lot making sure you didn't drunkenly light the site on fire. It was pretty good! I, too, dislike amateur drinking nights so staying home was lovely.

Also my neighbors put on an illegal firework display that went on for 15 solid minutes and was really high-quality! I woke up the kids to watch because it was perfectly visible from their window and really pretty! It was so good I wasn't even mad about their fifteen solid minutes of illegal fireworks and did not complain once about fire hazards or blown-off fingers.

Then when people started turning their lights out after midnight I went out to binocular star gaze and it was a really nice night for it, very clear and low air turbulence. I saw the Orion nebula by the naked eye (which I can't always due to light pollution) and saw it really well with my binoculars. Also the Little Beehive and the Pleiades. I wanted to view Andromeda but trees were in my way.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:02 AM on January 1, 2017

So I have this theory that new years eve celebrations, much like wedding photos, should never be too good. If you have a crummy time ushering in the new year, you have nowhere to go but up. If you have the party of a lifetime, the rest of the year will probably pale in comparison. The wedding photos, well if you look amazing, when you look at the pictures in the future you will feel crummy in comparison. However, if you have mediocre pictures you will compare favorably in the future and not feel so bad about aging. There is something to be said for setting the bar low, no?
posted by Literaryhero at 1:39 AM on January 1, 2017