Sciuridae? Dunno, they scurried away...
January 6, 2017 9:05 AM Subscribe
The owners of a convenience store in Toronto have been plagued by a rash of thefts. Local squirrels have been stealing chocolate bars from the store, and have been caught on video. This wouldn’t be the first time squirrels have been fingered as thieves. In 2013, residents of Kentish Town in Greater London were puzzled when soap and shower gel began going missing from their bathrooms. The culprit was squirrels.
Squirrel thievery, hijinks, and...recipes, previously on Metafilter:
Please beware of overly friendly squirrel
The Bushy-Tailed Menace
Chicken of the trees
Squirrels? That's where I'm a Viking!
At some point you give up and admit that it's really a squirrel feeder
Mmmm, roast squirrel
Squirrel thievery, hijinks, and...recipes, previously on Metafilter:
Please beware of overly friendly squirrel
The Bushy-Tailed Menace
Chicken of the trees
Squirrels? That's where I'm a Viking!
At some point you give up and admit that it's really a squirrel feeder
Mmmm, roast squirrel
If I were a squirrel in Toronto, I would try to cache as many Reese's pb cups as I could. Mmmm.....Reese's.
posted by strelitzia at 9:13 AM on January 6, 2017
posted by strelitzia at 9:13 AM on January 6, 2017
In that Kentish Town article, the residents wanted the trees to be cut down to stop the squirrels from entering their homes through open windows. Um...maybe window screens should make an appearance instead?
(yes, yes, I realize the residents also said that the trees were causing foundation issues and whatnot, I'm just saying, the first response to stopping critters from coming into your house maybe shouldn't be CUT DOWN THE TREES and maybe we who have window screens aren't so crazy after all, eh?)
posted by cooker girl at 9:14 AM on January 6, 2017 [7 favorites]
(yes, yes, I realize the residents also said that the trees were causing foundation issues and whatnot, I'm just saying, the first response to stopping critters from coming into your house maybe shouldn't be CUT DOWN THE TREES and maybe we who have window screens aren't so crazy after all, eh?)
posted by cooker girl at 9:14 AM on January 6, 2017 [7 favorites]
My father-in-law feeds the squirrels in his yard. He buys bulk peanuts from Costco and tosses them out the back door. They are the fattest squirrels with the most luxurious, shiny coats. They're also a little bit too bold and tame. Someday one will wander into the house and curl up on the couch, I'm sure of it.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:14 AM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 9:14 AM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
Dammit, I was going to post this! But I love it. I would also like to bring back my previous winter squirrel post: FAT SQUIRRELS FTW.
posted by Kitteh at 9:15 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 9:15 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Squirrel Girl and Tippy-toe deny involvement
posted by nicebookrack at 9:17 AM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by nicebookrack at 9:17 AM on January 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
I need more stories like this in 2017. Thank you.
posted by Fizz at 9:27 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 9:27 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Yeah, um, there's a reason you don't leave the door to your convenience store wide open. I would think the health code frowns upon rodents crawling throught the edible merchandise.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:36 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Sys Rq at 9:36 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
They need my cat to guard that store, which, I ain't giving her up so tough luck.
(At least going by the sounds she makes when she sees squirrels outside. My "mighty huntress" is also a strictly-indoors kitty :D.)
posted by seyirci at 9:37 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
(At least going by the sounds she makes when she sees squirrels outside. My "mighty huntress" is also a strictly-indoors kitty :D.)
posted by seyirci at 9:37 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Toronto squirrels are obviously stealing Kinder Eggs, selling them in the US to fund their anti-raccoon activities. Classic gorilla warfare tactics.
posted by helmutdog at 9:52 AM on January 6, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by helmutdog at 9:52 AM on January 6, 2017 [7 favorites]
Squirrel story time:
I grew up in a house surrounded by avocado trees (the shitty ones that are all seed with a skim of bitter avocado around, perfect for dogs to mangle, cover in spit and drop in your lap), pecans (which draw parrots around Thanksgiving when nuts ripen, who like to do Scream O'Clock at dawn) and fig trees, which nobody likes except my mom, ants, and squirrels.
So we already had squirrels, and my stepfather planted a huge garden of tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and eggplants. The goddamn squirrels would take a bite out of every tomato, on the back, so you'd pick it and turn it around and....! Goddammit! (They also did this to the figs, but nobody really cared-- my mom only likes figs to a certain extent.) Most of the squirrels, we can't tell apart, but there's this ONE HUGE SQUIRREL that's like twice as big as all the others who would come down from the trees, get in the tomatoes, look my stepdad right in the eyes, and take bites out of tomatoes. Or just catapult into a tomato plant and run away with one. So my stepdad would call our dogs over, but one was a useless Comedy Relief dog who would run in circles and act concerned, and one was a fast, clever little ratter-terrier-mix who was nonetheless not fast enough to catch a squirrel who got the drop on him. And the squirrel would sit right out of reach, chirping at them, while they're barking and running in circles (dog) and swearing and shaking their fist (dad.) Rinse and repeat.
My stepfather decides, this is war, however: no traps or poison (it's not that kind of war. He used to bow hunt for deer-- he knows how to kill stuff, but at that point in his life preferred not to.) So he gets a Super Soaker, naturally, and fills it with water, and keeps it in easy reach until the day when the squirrel comes back and THEN he aims and BLASTS THE SQUIRREL IN THE BUTT (it was fine, just surprised. It was water and 20 feet away. It was not cruel) and you never heard such angry squirrel language! You know how you understand words that you don't know when the emphasis is right? These were squirrel swearwords.
So this works for a couple days until one day, he doesn't even see the squirrel, but something hard snaps against his head, and he looks up, and THE SQUIRREL THREW A PECAN SHELL RIGHT AT HIS FOREHEAD. The squirrel figured out projectiles. He escalated the Super Soaker in reply, but this started to take away from gardening time and it was an inefficient way to live and we were all sort of feeling bad for the one behemoth squirrel trying to feed itself (and possibly its family? We were really depending on the garden to a certain extent, so we were kind of on the same team, and squirrel swears are hilarious but none of this is a longterm solution.)
What do we even do about that? Well. From then on out, he threw a handful of tomatoes on the garage roof every time he went out, to pay the Squirrel Tax, and from then on we got most of the tomatoes, and everyone was happy, and the war was over. (We let them have the figs. We got a handful per season and that's all anyone wants anyway.)
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:52 AM on January 6, 2017 [39 favorites]
I grew up in a house surrounded by avocado trees (the shitty ones that are all seed with a skim of bitter avocado around, perfect for dogs to mangle, cover in spit and drop in your lap), pecans (which draw parrots around Thanksgiving when nuts ripen, who like to do Scream O'Clock at dawn) and fig trees, which nobody likes except my mom, ants, and squirrels.
So we already had squirrels, and my stepfather planted a huge garden of tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and eggplants. The goddamn squirrels would take a bite out of every tomato, on the back, so you'd pick it and turn it around and....! Goddammit! (They also did this to the figs, but nobody really cared-- my mom only likes figs to a certain extent.) Most of the squirrels, we can't tell apart, but there's this ONE HUGE SQUIRREL that's like twice as big as all the others who would come down from the trees, get in the tomatoes, look my stepdad right in the eyes, and take bites out of tomatoes. Or just catapult into a tomato plant and run away with one. So my stepdad would call our dogs over, but one was a useless Comedy Relief dog who would run in circles and act concerned, and one was a fast, clever little ratter-terrier-mix who was nonetheless not fast enough to catch a squirrel who got the drop on him. And the squirrel would sit right out of reach, chirping at them, while they're barking and running in circles (dog) and swearing and shaking their fist (dad.) Rinse and repeat.
My stepfather decides, this is war, however: no traps or poison (it's not that kind of war. He used to bow hunt for deer-- he knows how to kill stuff, but at that point in his life preferred not to.) So he gets a Super Soaker, naturally, and fills it with water, and keeps it in easy reach until the day when the squirrel comes back and THEN he aims and BLASTS THE SQUIRREL IN THE BUTT (it was fine, just surprised. It was water and 20 feet away. It was not cruel) and you never heard such angry squirrel language! You know how you understand words that you don't know when the emphasis is right? These were squirrel swearwords.
So this works for a couple days until one day, he doesn't even see the squirrel, but something hard snaps against his head, and he looks up, and THE SQUIRREL THREW A PECAN SHELL RIGHT AT HIS FOREHEAD. The squirrel figured out projectiles. He escalated the Super Soaker in reply, but this started to take away from gardening time and it was an inefficient way to live and we were all sort of feeling bad for the one behemoth squirrel trying to feed itself (and possibly its family? We were really depending on the garden to a certain extent, so we were kind of on the same team, and squirrel swears are hilarious but none of this is a longterm solution.)
What do we even do about that? Well. From then on out, he threw a handful of tomatoes on the garage roof every time he went out, to pay the Squirrel Tax, and from then on we got most of the tomatoes, and everyone was happy, and the war was over. (We let them have the figs. We got a handful per season and that's all anyone wants anyway.)
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:52 AM on January 6, 2017 [39 favorites]
Halloween pumpkins, if left on the porch, become squirrel homes in our neighborhood right quick. Little fuzzy bastards will gnaw their way in and then curl up inside them, snacking on seeds.
Our garden attempt was thwarted because the little shits ate everything. We didn't get a single intact stalk of corn last time I planted it. They would take a bite out of the stalk - not enough to kill it, just enough to make it fall over - the roots and lowest 1-2 leaves would be fine, but everything above that level - you know, the part where the corn grows - would be gone. Same with the gourds and squash - they'd wait until the things began to be about baseball sized, then make off with them.
For some reason they ignore the green beans.
We feed them sacrificial apples once in a while, when we end up with apples too mushy for us to want ourselves. I can't bring myself to hate them, but they are indeed assholes of the highest order.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:02 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Our garden attempt was thwarted because the little shits ate everything. We didn't get a single intact stalk of corn last time I planted it. They would take a bite out of the stalk - not enough to kill it, just enough to make it fall over - the roots and lowest 1-2 leaves would be fine, but everything above that level - you know, the part where the corn grows - would be gone. Same with the gourds and squash - they'd wait until the things began to be about baseball sized, then make off with them.
For some reason they ignore the green beans.
We feed them sacrificial apples once in a while, when we end up with apples too mushy for us to want ourselves. I can't bring myself to hate them, but they are indeed assholes of the highest order.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:02 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Squirrels are monsters. There was one tree on my college campus that if you dared to walk underneath it, the squirrels would bombard you with acorns. And a friend of mine once saw a squirrel trotting along carrying something, and it turned out to be the severed head of another squirrel.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:12 AM on January 6, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:12 AM on January 6, 2017 [12 favorites]
In a picnic area at the Grand Canyon, I encountered squirrels that would run in circles doing flips in front of tourists, while in back their squirrel confederates quietly dragged the distracted tourists' hot dogs away.
That was MY hot dog, dammit!
posted by nicebookrack at 10:17 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
That was MY hot dog, dammit!
posted by nicebookrack at 10:17 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
blnkfrnk, thank you.
posted by lazycomputerkids at 10:27 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lazycomputerkids at 10:27 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
What do we even do about that? Well. From then on out, he threw a handful of tomatoes on the garage roof every time he went out, to pay the Squirrel Tax
And that is called paying the Squirrel-geld;
Though many will make the demurral,
That if once you have paid him the Squirrel-geld
You never get rid of the Squirrel.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:29 AM on January 6, 2017 [17 favorites]
And that is called paying the Squirrel-geld;
Though many will make the demurral,
That if once you have paid him the Squirrel-geld
You never get rid of the Squirrel.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:29 AM on January 6, 2017 [17 favorites]
Um...maybe window screens should make an appearance instead?
We have had a neighborhood squirrel tear its way through our kitchen window screen twice in order to enter and ransack our house. We now have two cats, which seems to be enough of a threat to keep the squirrel invasion at bay. So maybe the answer is more indoor cats?
posted by dhalgren at 10:44 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
We have had a neighborhood squirrel tear its way through our kitchen window screen twice in order to enter and ransack our house. We now have two cats, which seems to be enough of a threat to keep the squirrel invasion at bay. So maybe the answer is more indoor cats?
posted by dhalgren at 10:44 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
When I was in school, I once discovered an open - and empty - bag of bread I had bought the day before on the counter, with crumbs scattered all over. I made a mental note to sternly lecture my slob of a roommate the next time I saw him.
The next day, I walked into the kitchen, and there was a squirrel sitting on the counter, tearing into the bag of bread I bought to replace the other one.
The squirrel and I both froze, then as I made a sudden move towards it - to do what, I have no idea - the squirrel proceeded to do a Mississippi Revival around the kitchen a few times, scrambled onto the table by the window, and exited via a hole it had chewed in the screen.
So yeah, screens are kind of like squirrel security theatre.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:03 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
The next day, I walked into the kitchen, and there was a squirrel sitting on the counter, tearing into the bag of bread I bought to replace the other one.
The squirrel and I both froze, then as I made a sudden move towards it - to do what, I have no idea - the squirrel proceeded to do a Mississippi Revival around the kitchen a few times, scrambled onto the table by the window, and exited via a hole it had chewed in the screen.
So yeah, screens are kind of like squirrel security theatre.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:03 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
I've tried growing things on my back patio so many times... but the squirrels eat them to the root. I'd heard that they don't like hot pepper flakes so I bought a super hot pepper plant and put it out back in a pot. Watched the little beasts devour the peppers whole and then proceed to strip id down to the stalk. I swear I could see them laughing at me.
They are damn cute, especially right now in Toronto since the winter was so mild till very recently so they are very fat and lovable. But still horrible!
posted by cirhosis at 11:03 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
They are damn cute, especially right now in Toronto since the winter was so mild till very recently so they are very fat and lovable. But still horrible!
posted by cirhosis at 11:03 AM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've tried growing things on my back patio so many times... but the squirrels eat them to the root
We have a feral cat problem in the neighborhood (somebody is feeding them, and it's not me), but the upshot is that there's no other wildlife left to eat our tomatoes.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:06 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
We have a feral cat problem in the neighborhood (somebody is feeding them, and it's not me), but the upshot is that there's no other wildlife left to eat our tomatoes.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:06 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
We had a squirrel tear a hole through a window screen, come into our kitchen, tear open a bag of tortilla chips, throw chips all over the place and I suppose eat some, and then exit by tearing a hole in a different window screen! It was like - dude, couldn't you have at least gone out the first hole?
posted by Mid at 11:22 AM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Mid at 11:22 AM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
I left my cats alone on the balcony for 10 minutes while I made my bed. When I came back, the cats were in the living room on the couch with a squirrel who was nonchalantly eating a Ferrero Rocher.
It ran out, but then just last week I had another squirrel come down my chimney. Because it was the holidays, I was never there and had not realised, and I was mistaken about which way to close the flue. Once I opened the window, it escaped, but there were smears of ash in a number of places and the exterminator said "That's a lot of squirrel poop for just 24 hours."
Then yesterday the cat was trying to go on the balcony because she saw a squirrel there and I just called her a hypocrite and said no.
posted by jeather at 11:30 AM on January 6, 2017 [12 favorites]
It ran out, but then just last week I had another squirrel come down my chimney. Because it was the holidays, I was never there and had not realised, and I was mistaken about which way to close the flue. Once I opened the window, it escaped, but there were smears of ash in a number of places and the exterminator said "That's a lot of squirrel poop for just 24 hours."
Then yesterday the cat was trying to go on the balcony because she saw a squirrel there and I just called her a hypocrite and said no.
posted by jeather at 11:30 AM on January 6, 2017 [12 favorites]
I've had this happen to me - but in reverse. I had one of those retractable garden-hose racks in a covered area in the back of the house; some squirrel(s?) would keep stashing food in it - chocolate bars with squirrel nibbles, slightly chewed up nuts (with and without shell), and random assorted dumpster food.
At my current place, I've noticed that there's this one gigantic crow that keeps stashing kitty kibble in one of my planters on a 3rd floor apartment balcony. The kibble reserves fluctuates over time.
It also tears up and steals the fiberfill backing (probably to line its nest) on a welcome mat that I have tied to a railing (increased privacy from the mid-rise medical office across the street) every spring for the last 3 years - and I've seen it teach a smaller crow to do the same the last two years. Don't know if the smaller crow is a mate or an offspring.
(I've also seen seagull parents teach their fledglings how to fly, off the roof of the medical building across the street.)
posted by porpoise at 11:32 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
At my current place, I've noticed that there's this one gigantic crow that keeps stashing kitty kibble in one of my planters on a 3rd floor apartment balcony. The kibble reserves fluctuates over time.
It also tears up and steals the fiberfill backing (probably to line its nest) on a welcome mat that I have tied to a railing (increased privacy from the mid-rise medical office across the street) every spring for the last 3 years - and I've seen it teach a smaller crow to do the same the last two years. Don't know if the smaller crow is a mate or an offspring.
(I've also seen seagull parents teach their fledglings how to fly, off the roof of the medical building across the street.)
posted by porpoise at 11:32 AM on January 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
I witnessed a seagull triggering a full on domestic dispute at the Metro Toronto Zoo when it stole the top bun of the father's hamburger right in front of the rest of the family while the father was off getting napkins. He flat out would not accept their story. Much shouting, gesticulation and violent threats ensued.
posted by srboisvert at 12:51 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 12:51 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
srboisvert: "I witnessed a seagull triggering a full on domestic dispute at the Metro Toronto Zoo when it stole the top bun of the father's hamburger right in front of the rest of the family while the father was off getting napkins. He flat out would not accept their story. Much shouting, gesticulation and violent threats ensued."
I used to tell my ex-wife stories of my childhood in California and the atrocities on both sides of the eternal war against seagulls. Time passed and we went to California to visit my family and let her see the ocean and the beach.
So, while we are running around San Diego, we decide to visit SeaWorld. They have a neat display where, at certain times of the day, you can purchase cardboard trays of fish and take them over to a pool, which has an angled floor on one side, and you can feed the dolphins which slide right up that angled floor so you can pet one too.
She buys two trays, one for each of us, and starts heading to the pool.
BAM! A seagull buzzes her head, almost gets tangled in her hair, and takes off with a whole tray. As I stand there, desperately trying not to laugh (as our hotel room did NOT have a very good couch), she looked at me and said, solemnly, "Now I understand the hate."
I gave her my tray, excepting one fish (as I wanted to pet a dolphin too), fish were eaten, and dolphins were petted.
posted by Samizdata at 1:13 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
I used to tell my ex-wife stories of my childhood in California and the atrocities on both sides of the eternal war against seagulls. Time passed and we went to California to visit my family and let her see the ocean and the beach.
So, while we are running around San Diego, we decide to visit SeaWorld. They have a neat display where, at certain times of the day, you can purchase cardboard trays of fish and take them over to a pool, which has an angled floor on one side, and you can feed the dolphins which slide right up that angled floor so you can pet one too.
She buys two trays, one for each of us, and starts heading to the pool.
BAM! A seagull buzzes her head, almost gets tangled in her hair, and takes off with a whole tray. As I stand there, desperately trying not to laugh (as our hotel room did NOT have a very good couch), she looked at me and said, solemnly, "Now I understand the hate."
I gave her my tray, excepting one fish (as I wanted to pet a dolphin too), fish were eaten, and dolphins were petted.
posted by Samizdata at 1:13 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
The 'infestation' of seagulls at one Cornish resort has grown so severe the council has conceded defeat in its efforts to control them, admitting that people will have to 'learn to live' with the birds.
posted by blnkfrnk at 1:15 PM on January 6, 2017
posted by blnkfrnk at 1:15 PM on January 6, 2017
I was in the hospital this week, and one afternoon the entire campus's power went out. In the end, they determined that the trouble had been started by one solitairy squirrel mucking about behind just the right wall. I'm starting to think a plague has been called down.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hasn't even been two months since the last squirrel thread so I'll just leave a link to my squirrel story here.
posted by linux at 1:33 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by linux at 1:33 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Um...maybe window screens should make an appearance instead?
Well, yeah, but... window screens aren't exactly a thing here in the UK. I'm pretty sure you'd get puzzled looks if you asked for them in a local hardware shop.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 2:12 PM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Well, yeah, but... window screens aren't exactly a thing here in the UK. I'm pretty sure you'd get puzzled looks if you asked for them in a local hardware shop.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 2:12 PM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
My father once got ice cream. Walked outside, and a seagull made off with it. Went back, got a second, walked outside, another seagull made off with it.
This beach I go to, one of the places that sells fries has signs all over saying they don't give more if seagulls steal your food. But they put the fries in containers that are so easy for the birds to take.
This is my favourite seagull comic.
posted by jeather at 2:16 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
This beach I go to, one of the places that sells fries has signs all over saying they don't give more if seagulls steal your food. But they put the fries in containers that are so easy for the birds to take.
This is my favourite seagull comic.
posted by jeather at 2:16 PM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
It was like - dude, couldn't you have at least gone out the first hole?
No, because squirrels are jerks.
If they made them small enough, they would wear polo shirts with popped collars.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
No, because squirrels are jerks.
If they made them small enough, they would wear polo shirts with popped collars.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:20 PM on January 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
From the previous thread: In some neighborhoods you might have to conceal the trap to avoid outraging the neighbors.
Do these neighbors have mail slots? If they're so keen on squirrels, and we have trapped squirrels which are surplus to our purposes, and squirrels thrive in human dwellings, isn't this a win-win-win scenario?
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:53 AM on January 7, 2017
Do these neighbors have mail slots? If they're so keen on squirrels, and we have trapped squirrels which are surplus to our purposes, and squirrels thrive in human dwellings, isn't this a win-win-win scenario?
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:53 AM on January 7, 2017
Well, yeah, but... window screens aren't exactly a thing here in the UK.
Right, that's what I'm saying. It's time for our brethren and sistren in the U.K. to embrace the window screen!
posted by cooker girl at 6:40 AM on January 7, 2017
Right, that's what I'm saying. It's time for our brethren and sistren in the U.K. to embrace the window screen!
posted by cooker girl at 6:40 AM on January 7, 2017
Yeah, I'd take a puzzled look from a shop assistant over a house full of squirrels any day. (Don't even get me started on the British resistance to double-glazed windows. Or tap mixers! Or pipes on the inside of the house! The idiotically stubborn backwardity of British homes makes a very strong case against conservatism.)
That said, the best defense against squirrel infestation really is to get rid of any trees within squirrel-jumping distance of the house.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:32 PM on January 7, 2017
That said, the best defense against squirrel infestation really is to get rid of any trees within squirrel-jumping distance of the house.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:32 PM on January 7, 2017
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posted by NoxAeternum at 9:10 AM on January 6, 2017 [1 favorite]