They find humour where others find only sadness. Or potatoes.
January 24, 2017 9:09 PM   Subscribe

 
British Drunk People Are The Best Drunk People

Clearly the compiler of this list has never made the mistake of venturing out of doors in Nottingham city centre on a Saturday night.
posted by tavegyl at 9:25 PM on January 24, 2017 [21 favorites]


A few of those made me LOL
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:49 PM on January 24, 2017


I loved the person face down to the ground holding herself up by her hands and the fabric of her skirt stretching across the bollard. Like a yoga pose.
posted by ambrosen at 9:54 PM on January 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


"Downward Facing Dog-drunk"
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:15 PM on January 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


That line of potatoes speaks to my soul.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:22 PM on January 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


Are you the Tater Whisperer? or just the Speaker for the Spuds
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:39 PM on January 24, 2017 [3 favorites]




If there's one aspect of British culture I don't want others romanticising, it's our propensity to get absolutely wankered.
posted by mushhushshu at 11:37 PM on January 24, 2017 [16 favorites]


Someone's never met a drunk Mexican mama.
posted by blessedlyndie at 11:40 PM on January 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


Homophobic slurs are regressive and counterproductive, even directed at horses. Even people that use Windows Vista know this.
posted by adept256 at 12:22 AM on January 25, 2017 [6 favorites]


British Drunk People Are The Best Drunk People

Here's a Contrary view.
Strictly speaking, the article doesn't say that the Brits were drunk, but the alternative, namely that all those acts (stripping, vomiting, urinating on monuments for national heroes) were performed while being sober is even more depressing.

But I suppose one good thing about the Brexit is that we'll see fewer British tourists around the world in the future.
posted by sour cream at 1:31 AM on January 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


The best drunk people are the ones who attempt an assault when you just wanted a glass of water.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:07 AM on January 25, 2017


Sour cream, I usually get friendly responses from people I interact with* when I travel overseas. Are you telling me that my country's impending impoverishment by narcissistic arseholes is being widely celebrated abroad?

*Having lived most of my adult life in tourist cities, I'm careful not to interact with anyone who's just trying to get on with their daily life, of course.
posted by ambrosen at 2:14 AM on January 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Are you telling me that my country's impending impoverishment by narcissistic arseholes is being widely celebrated abroad?

No, and I don't think I said anything to that effect.
posted by sour cream at 2:53 AM on January 25, 2017


Clearly the compiler of this list has never made the mistake of venturing out of doors in Nottingham city centre on a Saturday night.

Nothing is worse (better?) than a Saturday night in Morecambe. I never saw so many partyers being sent to hospital. My gosh, and I thought Aberdeen was wild.
posted by james33 at 3:05 AM on January 25, 2017


These photos set up a deeper moral question that no-one has yet addressed: If someone is asleep in a urinal is it legit to wee on them? Clearly there may be a risk element to doing so, but it is important to remember (1) if you are in the toilet at that stage of the evening you probably really need to go (2) if you go on the floor some poor cleaner is going to have to mop it up. Your thoughts are welcomed.
posted by biffa at 3:22 AM on January 25, 2017


If someone is asleep in a urinal is it legit to wee on them?

Only if you hum the national anthem at the same time.

God, I miss going out on the town sometimes. Only sometimes, mind. But i bet the girl with the McDos bag for shoes had a cracking night.
posted by threetwentytwo at 3:44 AM on January 25, 2017 [3 favorites]


I thought this piece on the Pool about the now traditional New Years drunk pics was pretty interesting.
posted by threetwentytwo at 3:49 AM on January 25, 2017 [4 favorites]


British Drunk People Are The Best Drunk People

Having worked in a couple of bars in Japan regularly frequented by Brits... uh, no? I mean, it's hard to make drunk Americans look good*, but alcohol and Brits... find a way. /Ian Malcolm


*I will admit to having done my fair share of making drunk Americans overseas look less than peachy
posted by Ghidorah at 4:38 AM on January 25, 2017 [9 favorites]


if you go on the floor some poor cleaner is going to have to mop it up

posted by biffa


Agenda suspected.
posted by mushhushshu at 4:47 AM on January 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


A conspicuous lack of vomit leads one to doubt the veracity of this article.
posted by tommasz at 5:00 AM on January 25, 2017


I'd hardly say we were the best kind of drunks!
Whenever I go abroad I'm always ashamed to say i'm from England, due to the reputation of 'Brits abroad' and their alcohol-fuelled adventures. The reality is - drunk Brits are mostly idiots.
posted by keenoldbob at 5:30 AM on January 25, 2017


drunk humans are mostly idiots.

FTFY
posted by oheso at 5:48 AM on January 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Yeah coming from Ireland, a country with a similar drinking culture to the UK, I would say that we certainly are no different in terms of public order problems when drunk. Most of the rest of Europe just doesn't do boozing the way Ireland and the UK do. I think the UK might have the edge in town centre mayhem just because hard liquor is comparatively far cheaper, so getting a half bottle of blue spirits down your neck won't bankrupt you.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 5:54 AM on January 25, 2017


This is the only time that I have ever seen anything suggesting drunk Britons are "the best." Although "best" is, as noted above, perhaps not the word, this list did make me laugh harder than I have in weeks. I wish I lived somewhere that "Nice Ploice Man" worked. Also, that taxi driver is a mensch, and cute too. I wonder if that's the first time he's had to do that.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:26 AM on January 25, 2017 [3 favorites]


While I find this listicle amusing, it's been interesting that I've never encountered this IRL when I go over to England. But then I tend to find a nice pub for a sitdown, a few drinks, then head back to where we are staying. What I'm saying is: this must all be happening near me and I am just really boring when I travel to the UK.
posted by Kitteh at 6:30 AM on January 25, 2017


What I'm saying is: this must all be happening near me and I am just really boring when I travel to the UK.

In my youth, we used to aim to leave the house for quarter past ten which would get us into town at half-ten ish. The really messy stuff is happening 3-5 a.m.

Nowadays to leave the house at half ten there would be to be some sort of emergency like running out of milk or something.
posted by threetwentytwo at 7:17 AM on January 25, 2017 [3 favorites]


If the messy stuff is happening at those hours, no wonder I never see it. Even on holiday, it's like pulling teeth to stay up until midnight.
posted by Kitteh at 7:19 AM on January 25, 2017


I lived in Birmingham for 7 years and my wife moved there one year before I did.

One night early in that year when she was there on her own she went out to a work dinner downtown and afterward tried to catch a cab home on Broad Street. I got a phone call at around 11:30 pm UK time (GMT) and she was telling me that "OMG! there are hundreds of drunken hookers on Broad Street and the police just don't care!".

Nope. They were not hookers and it was just a normal Thursday night on Broad St.
posted by srboisvert at 7:29 AM on January 25, 2017 [17 favorites]


I liked the yoohoo customer service thing and the waking up on cab driver's couch thing (god, talk about emotional - and physical - labor!)

Drinking to excess - bad. But this post, it made me laugh anyway.
posted by latkes at 8:23 AM on January 25, 2017


The uncannily faithful recreation of the stingray pic did me in. Hilarious!
posted by Aubergine at 9:06 AM on January 25, 2017 [7 favorites]


Here in Czechia a friend of mine showed up hungover for teaching one day and all the adult business executive students laughed and told him he needs to practice more and has to do it everyday to get better.

Not entirely sure how to parse "adult business executive students".
Are they "adult students" or are they studying to be executives in the "adult business"? In Czechia?

// squints eyes //
posted by sour cream at 10:09 AM on January 25, 2017


Nah, brits aren't the best drunk people, but I have to admit this photo is the best drunk people photo ever.
posted by effbot at 12:30 PM on January 25, 2017 [7 favorites]


(...which I just realized is in the "party, party, party" gallery mushhushshu linked to earlier; the full title is "Police hold on to a man while another lies in the road")
posted by effbot at 12:33 PM on January 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


That picture was taken just outside the Printworks in Manchester. In terms of soul and life it is the most wearily banal place to eat and drink. It is the suburban mall of "nightlife".
posted by Emma May Smith at 12:40 PM on January 25, 2017


The Best Picture feels like a classical painting. If you ran it through a program so everyone is wearing clothing out of a Shakespearean play it would not look out of place in a museum.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 5:27 PM on January 25, 2017 [6 favorites]


People posting their own drunk texts and saying "OMG I'm SOOOO crazy when I'm drunk LOLLLLL" - finally I have found the thing that makes me want the kids to get off my lawn.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:39 AM on January 26, 2017


Most of the rest of Europe just doesn't do boozing the way Ireland and the UK do

Having lived in both countries Ireland has nothing on the UK. I can count the number of rowdy drunken incidentz I've seen in Ireland outside of central Dublin on one hand. I saw more than that at one work Christmas party in the UK. The drunken mayhem going on in any town center in the north of England on a weekend night has to be seen to be believed.
posted by fshgrl at 6:12 AM on January 26, 2017


I think Roy put it best in The IT Crowd.
posted by lucidium at 8:55 AM on January 26, 2017


I don't want to be a wet blanket, but I live in England (Leeds, to be exact), and the chaos that descends on the city on Fridays, Saturdays, bank holidays and any other occasion there is to drink is painful to watch.

One of my colleagues runs a project supporting service users struggling with alcohol dependency issues and seeing what she goes through with her SUs on a daily basis is absolutely shattering.

I've also gone through heartbreak after heartbreak with a partner who struggles with alcohol misuse.

After a certain point, the glorification of drinking culture stops being funny.
posted by quadrant seasons at 12:37 PM on January 26, 2017 [2 favorites]


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