“From Nothing Comes A King”
February 8, 2017 1:57 PM Subscribe
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword [Trailer] [YouTube] “The young Arthur runs the back passages of Londinium with his crew, not knowing his royal lineage until he draws the sword Excalibur from the stone. Instantly confronted by the sword’s influence, Arthur is forced to decide where to become involved with his power. Throwing in with the Resistance and an enigmatic young woman named Guinevere, he must learn to master the sword, face down his demons and unite the people to defeat the tyrant Vortigern — who murdered his parents and stole his crown — and became king.”
I'm sold. It's grossly anachronistic, but so is every depiction of King Arthur set in the high middle ages.
posted by thecjm at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by thecjm at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
Looks so bad it's bad.
posted by ocschwar at 2:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by ocschwar at 2:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
This looks weird and dumb.
I'm gonna love it.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm gonna love it.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am so completely fucking over "medieval times, but with machine tools and professional stylists"
screw you Peter Jackson
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
screw you Peter Jackson
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
No Boorman, no point
posted by the phlegmatic king at 2:17 PM on February 8, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by the phlegmatic king at 2:17 PM on February 8, 2017 [10 favorites]
Try this trailer instead. It looks worse than the Ritchie version but it worked out alright, likely to be better than the new one and the music definitely. Frankly I don't know why they have bothered making any more King Arthur films after Excalibur.
posted by biffa at 2:20 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by biffa at 2:20 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
...grossly anachronistic...
Then again, if it was historically accurate there wouldn't be any King Arthur in it.
posted by Segundus at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2017 [18 favorites]
Then again, if it was historically accurate there wouldn't be any King Arthur in it.
posted by Segundus at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2017 [18 favorites]
Boorman, Russell, Roeg - a stratum of English film directors of the 70s for whom a rave review would be a horrified audience member saying "What ... the ... fuck ... was ... that?"
posted by Grangousier at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Grangousier at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
I...just...what? This seems...incoherent, even for a trailer.
Roose Bolton, though. A little bit of Bolton in the Arthur legend might be good.
posted by nubs at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2017
Roose Bolton, though. A little bit of Bolton in the Arthur legend might be good.
posted by nubs at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2017
Why was there a trailer for the trailer before the trailer?
posted by curiousgene at 2:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by curiousgene at 2:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
I'm really looking forward to this. I just hope the film lives up to the incoherence of the trailer.
posted by Leon at 2:43 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Leon at 2:43 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
In short there are simply lots of more congenial spots for happy ever aftering than, you know, in a Guy Ritchie film.
posted by thivaia at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by thivaia at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
is this the one featuring shirtless mchotass
i will watch the heck out of this movie
posted by poffin boffin at 2:50 PM on February 8, 2017
i will watch the heck out of this movie
posted by poffin boffin at 2:50 PM on February 8, 2017
really though why isn't everyone speaking welsh
brittonic, whatever
posted by poffin boffin at 2:55 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
brittonic, whatever
posted by poffin boffin at 2:55 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
THE COURAGE THAT SHOCKED A GENERATION
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:12 PM on February 8, 2017
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:12 PM on February 8, 2017
RAISED ON THE STREETS
posted by poffin boffin at 3:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 3:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
I kept waiting for someone to shout "THIS IS SPARTA!"
posted by languagehat at 3:15 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 3:15 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
Alright, who told Guy Ritchie about GoPros? Own up.
posted by Iridic at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Iridic at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
No Tim the Enchanter? Pass.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [5 favorites]
If this is to live up to the Giants of The Ages, there has to be feasting and at least one extended sex scene in full plate mail.
posted by bonehead at 3:26 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by bonehead at 3:26 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
curiousgene: "Why was there a trailer for the trailer before the trailer?"
Synergy.
posted by boo_radley at 3:27 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Synergy.
posted by boo_radley at 3:27 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm actually pretty intrigued by the trailer. The Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movies were fun schlock, and this seems similar. Probably won't see it in theaters, though.
posted by codacorolla at 3:38 PM on February 8, 2017
posted by codacorolla at 3:38 PM on February 8, 2017
he must be a king
he hasn't got shit all over him
posted by pyramid termite at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2017 [11 favorites]
he hasn't got shit all over him
posted by pyramid termite at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2017 [11 favorites]
It's only a model
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:44 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:44 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
What's so bizarre to me is that the King Arthur material is some of the most boring elements of Arthurian mythology. There are so many interesting knights with colorful stories and all kinds of adventure - just read your Malory, it's like 80% of the book. Arthur gets the sword from the stone, has some victories in battle, establishes the Round Table, then sits on his royal ass until the story of Camelot gets all wrapped up. Meanwhile all these knights go out and do shit. But all we get nowadays are retreads of the same boring elements, to the point where now Arthur has to be a damn action hero.
Guy Ritchie type violence doesn't seem out of the question, though. Malory is totally ultraviolent.
posted by graymouser at 3:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [13 favorites]
Guy Ritchie type violence doesn't seem out of the question, though. Malory is totally ultraviolent.
posted by graymouser at 3:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [13 favorites]
Malory is totally ultraviolent.
Phyllis Anne Karr noted that, while Monty Python was generally about as uncanonical as you can get, their presentation of Lancelot was spot on.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:54 PM on February 8, 2017 [13 favorites]
Phyllis Anne Karr noted that, while Monty Python was generally about as uncanonical as you can get, their presentation of Lancelot was spot on.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:54 PM on February 8, 2017 [13 favorites]
From nothing comes a King? Really? His father was a King and his foster father was a sub-king (in some stories, still a lord though). That's not exactly coming from the bottom here.
posted by Carillon at 4:00 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Carillon at 4:00 PM on February 8, 2017 [4 favorites]
I just wish they would call him Art.
posted by srboisvert at 4:07 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 4:07 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
I liked the trailer for Life that came up as advertising before this particular trailer, tbh.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:14 PM on February 8, 2017
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:14 PM on February 8, 2017
what the hell did I just watch
Arthur Begins
posted by thelonius at 4:22 PM on February 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
Arthur Begins
posted by thelonius at 4:22 PM on February 8, 2017 [8 favorites]
If this is to live up to the Giants of The Ages, there has to be feasting and at least one extended sex scene in full plate mail.
I haven't seen it in a few years, but didn't they already do that in Excalibur?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
I haven't seen it in a few years, but didn't they already do that in Excalibur?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
What was with that Wizard of Speed and Time bit there where they're running through town being...um, I don't know, fired on by Predator drones?
posted by Naberius at 4:45 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 4:45 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
"I don't come with a manual"
They had manuals in Arthurian times? I'll suspend disbelief for all the perfect teeth and hair, but come on.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 5:15 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
They had manuals in Arthurian times? I'll suspend disbelief for all the perfect teeth and hair, but come on.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 5:15 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Did I see RoboCop in there for a second
posted by XMLicious at 5:19 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by XMLicious at 5:19 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
There is a distinct lack of Clive Owen, Kiera Knightley, and Mads Mikkelsen in this trailer. PASS.
posted by hanov3r at 5:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by hanov3r at 5:40 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
What was with that Wizard of Speed and Time bit there where they're running through town clearly standing still and wobbling their shoulders while a CGI background whips past
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:44 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:44 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
the holy hand grenade of antioch had a manual
posted by pyramid termite at 5:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by pyramid termite at 5:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [7 favorites]
Arthur: King Extreme or Extreme King? This new movie aims to find the answer!
Also, did I miss anything that looked like Guinevere? 'Cuz this movie looks to have so much testosterone flowing I'm afraid she might have been washed away.
posted by nubs at 5:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also, did I miss anything that looked like Guinevere? 'Cuz this movie looks to have so much testosterone flowing I'm afraid she might have been washed away.
posted by nubs at 5:49 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm pretty sure that I'll get dragged to see this.
posted by octothorpe at 6:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 6:24 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Old Abehammerb's estimating 45-60 grams of THC edibles to make it through this one. The Resistance???
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:32 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:32 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
Is that Sam Lee singing in the trailer? Sounds like him. If so +1 from me.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:54 PM on February 8, 2017
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:54 PM on February 8, 2017
I am so happy I live in a state with legal cannabis.
posted by RakDaddy at 7:03 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by RakDaddy at 7:03 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
What was with that Wizard of Speed and Time bit there where they're running through town clearly standing still and wobbling their shoulders while a CGI background whips past
Don't even think about mentioning TWoSaT and CGI in the same breath, foul brigand!
posted by fnerg at 7:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Don't even think about mentioning TWoSaT and CGI in the same breath, foul brigand!
posted by fnerg at 7:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
foul brigand
Hey, not cool!! I had a bath just last...um...hmm. Actually I can't remember.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hey, not cool!! I had a bath just last...um...hmm. Actually I can't remember.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
I came in here to say something about watery tarts distributing swords but I see from previous comments that it can be left as an exercise for the reader.
posted by Daily Alice at 8:08 PM on February 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 8:08 PM on February 8, 2017 [6 favorites]
RAISED ON THE STREETS
ALL THREE OF THEM
posted by No-sword at 9:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
ALL THREE OF THEM
posted by No-sword at 9:13 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
With those GoPro views I fully expect Sir Digby Chicken Caesar to be in on this round table
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 9:19 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 9:19 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
Serious lack of shape-shifting wizard battles and talking animals.
posted by Feyala at 9:35 PM on February 8, 2017
posted by Feyala at 9:35 PM on February 8, 2017
Swords/Spaceships + IMAX 3D get me in the theatre every time. Even for this WTF, I imagine. But...W.T.F.?????
Might be the first big budget movie trailer that has totally Poe's Law'ed me. I can't quite convince myself it's real.
posted by lastobelus at 9:50 PM on February 8, 2017
Might be the first big budget movie trailer that has totally Poe's Law'ed me. I can't quite convince myself it's real.
posted by lastobelus at 9:50 PM on February 8, 2017
There is a distinct lack of Clive Owen, Kiera Knightley, and Mads Mikkelsen in this trailer. PASS.
You didn't even notice the total total lack of Helen Mirren?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:09 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
You didn't even notice the total total lack of Helen Mirren?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:09 PM on February 8, 2017 [3 favorites]
Hard to believe a high fantasy movie these days with NO WOMEN in evidence whatsoever! What a dude party. Most at least have the Strong Female Character (tm).
I'll probably still see it. But probably streaming.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:20 PM on February 8, 2017
I'll probably still see it. But probably streaming.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:20 PM on February 8, 2017
I just hired a sealed vacuum chamber where I will safely suspend all my disbelief so I can enjoy the shit out of this.
posted by Neale at 11:48 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Neale at 11:48 PM on February 8, 2017 [2 favorites]
Hard to believe a high fantasy movie these days with NO WOMEN in evidence whatsoever!
Uh, looks like someone missed the dryad lurking evilly in the woods, waiting to sap King Arthur's streetWelsh essence. As we all know, able to cause harm = strong, therefore this movie is basically the same as Fried Green Tomatoes. Checkmate, feminists.
posted by No-sword at 11:56 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
Uh, looks like someone missed the dryad lurking evilly in the woods, waiting to sap King Arthur's streetWelsh essence. As we all know, able to cause harm = strong, therefore this movie is basically the same as Fried Green Tomatoes. Checkmate, feminists.
posted by No-sword at 11:56 PM on February 8, 2017 [1 favorite]
I came in here to say something about watery tarts distributing swords but I see from previous comments that it can be left as an exercise for the reader.
Coincidentally, Guy Ritchie movies are one of very few places in cinema that a character can reasonably expect a moistened bint to throw a scimitar at him.
posted by Grangousier at 1:37 AM on February 9, 2017
Coincidentally, Guy Ritchie movies are one of very few places in cinema that a character can reasonably expect a moistened bint to throw a scimitar at him.
posted by Grangousier at 1:37 AM on February 9, 2017
octothorpe: "I'm pretty sure that I'll get dragged to see this."
I have been informed that yes, I am going to be dragged to see his.
posted by octothorpe at 4:03 AM on February 9, 2017
I have been informed that yes, I am going to be dragged to see his.
posted by octothorpe at 4:03 AM on February 9, 2017
Budget brad Pitt and one second of uh .... budget liv Tyler?
I just finished the Once and future king, which is the greatest thing ever, so it's hard to shift gears to world of Warcraft 2. But I bet I'll watch it ....
posted by freecellwizard at 4:44 AM on February 9, 2017
I just finished the Once and future king, which is the greatest thing ever, so it's hard to shift gears to world of Warcraft 2. But I bet I'll watch it ....
posted by freecellwizard at 4:44 AM on February 9, 2017
he must be a king
he hasn't got shit all over him
Seriously, though, that jacket. That cream colored, spotless, pristine jacket. Sure, we're not getting anything like accuracy (though I'm pretty sure I saw Tommy Carcetti aiming a bow and arrow), but could there be someone in Hollywood with a timeline of cleaning products and fabric swatches? Just match the film with the timeline, and "hey, uh, sorry, but spotless white cotton? Definitely a no go there."
posted by Ghidorah at 4:46 AM on February 9, 2017
he hasn't got shit all over him
Seriously, though, that jacket. That cream colored, spotless, pristine jacket. Sure, we're not getting anything like accuracy (though I'm pretty sure I saw Tommy Carcetti aiming a bow and arrow), but could there be someone in Hollywood with a timeline of cleaning products and fabric swatches? Just match the film with the timeline, and "hey, uh, sorry, but spotless white cotton? Definitely a no go there."
posted by Ghidorah at 4:46 AM on February 9, 2017
The only real disappointment here is that they aren't doing Merlin as a doppelganger of Robert Smith from the Cure.
I have very particular requirements
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:46 AM on February 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have very particular requirements
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:46 AM on February 9, 2017 [3 favorites]
Update: Upon acutally bothering to google "Vortigern" I have found that, for the level of accuracy that this film aspires to, that is a totally legit name for the Big Bad. I withdraw my all-caps italic bolding.
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:14 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:14 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm in the middle right now of reading Tennyson's version in verse of the legends, The ldylls of the King. I'm not really sure what to make of them, or what their artistic point is supposed to be. Poetically, the blank verse is rather subdued. There's a lot of discussion about knightly 'purity' and good and noble deeds. Not much actual violence, though.
posted by bertran at 6:26 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by bertran at 6:26 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
VORTIGERN!?
The Free Man is ready for all things.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:42 AM on February 9, 2017
The Free Man is ready for all things.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:42 AM on February 9, 2017
Was that not Mark Strongs voice? I coulda swore I heard Mark Strong doing his Lord Henry Blackwood voice on the VO. I just scanned the wiki page but didn't see his name.
posted by valkane at 6:49 AM on February 9, 2017
posted by valkane at 6:49 AM on February 9, 2017
The first spot is the one that had me eye-rolling during the Super Bowl. But that SECOND spot, and the revelation that this is Guy Ritchie madness ... well, that's a game-changer.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 7:18 AM on February 9, 2017
posted by DrAstroZoom at 7:18 AM on February 9, 2017
> Seriously, though, that jacket. That cream colored, spotless, pristine jacket. Sure, we're not getting anything like accuracy (though I'm pretty sure I saw Tommy Carcetti aiming a bow and arrow), but could there be someone in Hollywood with a timeline of cleaning products and fabric swatches? Just match the film with the timeline, and "hey, uh, sorry, but spotless white cotton? Definitely a no go there."
If they were going to worry about something like that, the trailer/movie would look entirely different.
posted by languagehat at 8:30 AM on February 9, 2017
If they were going to worry about something like that, the trailer/movie would look entirely different.
posted by languagehat at 8:30 AM on February 9, 2017
NO WOMEN in evidence whatsoever!
The IMDB cast list looks like it has three women fairly high in the cast list, which I guess means they will be doing knob all in terms of action stuff that might make it into a trailer.
posted by biffa at 8:40 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
The IMDB cast list looks like it has three women fairly high in the cast list, which I guess means they will be doing knob all in terms of action stuff that might make it into a trailer.
posted by biffa at 8:40 AM on February 9, 2017 [1 favorite]
It reminds me in odd ways of First Knight, which was a deeply strange, perhaps not very good, but watchable movie.
I don't know that I'd pay to see this in the theater, but sometime in 2018 it will hit HBO and if I remember its name at that point I'll watch it.
posted by hippybear at 9:36 PM on February 9, 2017
I don't know that I'd pay to see this in the theater, but sometime in 2018 it will hit HBO and if I remember its name at that point I'll watch it.
posted by hippybear at 9:36 PM on February 9, 2017
literally the only thing I remember about First Knight is the oubliette, which is ironic, probably
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:32 AM on February 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:32 AM on February 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
First Knight? But, but... It's like they had a hat full of Arthurian names and assigned roles and character at random. There is almost no connection to any of the actual legends or stories, just Richard Gere trying to pull off being a young, athletic Lancelot, which only works because he's cast next to Sean Connery. It's just so eeaaegugghhhh. Sorry. That movie makes my blood boil bit.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:13 PM on February 12, 2017
posted by Ghidorah at 2:13 PM on February 12, 2017
It might be best you don't see the one featured in this FPP.
posted by hippybear at 8:48 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 8:48 PM on February 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
« Older Slight vibration on my way up... Measured as below... | The 5th wall is the ceiling Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:08 PM on February 8, 2017 [6 favorites]