“Most shocking is the muscularity of the animal's legs and butt —”

March 15, 2017 6:44 PM

Two Men's Quest for Florida's Mysterious Skunk Ape by Bill Kearney [Miami New Times] “They have, however, encountered the inexplicable. "Last time we were out — I'm not kidding you — we heard a female," Conner says. Barton adds, "They want to get close to you is what we think, because they're familiar with us. They have a great curiosity." The "they" Conner and Barton refer to are skunk apes, Florida's slender, hairy, and pungently scented seven-foot-tall version of the legendary Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch. Conner claims he and his sister as children saw one when they were playing near the swamp in an area that later became a subdivision. The image of the huge creature loping along a line of banana trees and into the untamed forest has haunted him for decades.” [Previously.]
posted by Fizz (13 comments total)

As I recall, it turns out that it is just Bugs Meany's cousin Wilma.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:48 PM on March 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

I used to love reading about this stuff when I was a kid, back in the early 80's. One of my favorite writer back then was Daniel Cohen. I'm sure he must have written about the skunk ape of Florida, but he also wrote about the "Florida goatman" in his great children's book, Monsters, Giants, and Little Men from Mars: An Unnatural History of the Americas.

The movie The Legend of Boggy Creek is based I think on the Florida skunk ape.
posted by My Dad at 8:51 PM on March 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

I used to live in Daytona Beach while flunking out of a very prestigious Photography Art School. In the backyard of my rented condo, about a hundred yards from the mall across from the International Speedway, was as about a thick palmetto impassable stretch of wilderness as you can imagine.

Bowling-ball big tortoises? Yup. Indigo Racer sneks? Yup. Toe-Biter bugs? Yup. Two different and completely unrelated on the Tree Of Life giant cockroaches, and not the ones who'd ever come near a human habitation? Yup. Tree-frogs adhering to what you previously assumed to be too-smooth-to-climb walls? Yup. Also anoles duplicating that trick. And no-kidding scoprions as well.

There are also Gators and American Crocodiles and Snapping Turtles.

If you encountered the Skunk Ape deep in the cultivated pine-forests, and didn't see a solid dozen UFO's, ask for your money back and try to find a more mysterious swamp-buggy tour.

Or camp out in the Jersey Pine Barrens, or the Hockomock Swamp, in the center of the Bridgewater Triangle.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:07 PM on March 15, 2017 [4 favorites]

In Australia, it's the Bunyip. When you're walking near fresh water at night and you're out from the cities, the sounds of water and wildlife combine to remind you how far from the city you are.

There's a sound, a sound of something sliding into the water, something large, the cracking of twigs on the riverbank as it moves into the welcoming, dark depths.

Then, just at the edge of hearing, there's a whisper of leaf against leaf, as if there's something moving in the scrub behind you. Noise carries a long way in the outback. There's not much to stop it when even the trees are sparsely dressed and dry. You can hear the leaves drop and you hope it's just the delayed reaction to the heat, rather than some small claws walking the thick, gnarled branches towards you.

There's a lot to think about it, sitting there, when you're away from the cities in Australia at night.
posted by nfalkner at 9:11 PM on March 15, 2017 [9 favorites]

Hey, I was recently looking at the Skunk Ape Research Facility AND Gift Shop.
posted by PHINC at 12:53 AM on March 16, 2017

The movie The Legend of Boggy Creek is based I think on the Florida skunk ape.

Oh, memories. In the UK some time in the early 80s BBC 2 showed a series of crap monster movies at about 6pm. The Legend of Boggy Creek freaked me out no end.
posted by dowcrag at 3:16 AM on March 16, 2017

The legend of Boggy Creek is based on encounters with an Arkansas stinky Sasquatch, the Fouke Monster.
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:38 AM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]

Dave Barry's "Best. State. Ever." interviews the Skunk Ape guy.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:58 AM on March 16, 2017

I keep reading it as "masculinity of the animal's legs and butt."
posted by Chrysostom at 7:57 AM on March 16, 2017

There's also an old Daily Show let's-make-fun-of-the-idiot interview with previous Main Skunk Ape Guy, *looks* Dave Healy. It's not as cringey as the one with the alien butt baby guy, 'cuz Healy comes off as just dumb as a stump instead of mentally ill, but it's not totally uncringey IIRC.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:59 AM on March 16, 2017

Once again I recommend The Eighth Tower as your one stop shop for all of your cryptozoology needs.
posted by Splunge at 9:12 AM on March 16, 2017 [1 favorite]

The movie The Legend of Boggy Creek is based I think on the Florida skunk ape.

Nope, Arkansas has its very own Bigfoot-like swamp creature, thank you very much.
posted by zardoz at 1:42 PM on March 16, 2017

Especially with all the Rutherford B. Hayes Victorian beards these days.
posted by y2karl at 11:44 AM on March 17, 2017