Obligatory FadeToBlack Unintentionally Funny Site Post #3

April 23, 2002 10:10 PM

Obligatory FadeToBlack Unintentionally Funny Site Post #3 Collect them all while there's still flesh on the bones of this decomposing Equine!

4)If problems persist see step 3

Really though, Amazon can be so precious--check out the customer reviews: One day it just happened... I realized I was at a dead end. My job, my finances, my relationships - DEAD END. Surfing the net one evening, I was strangely drawn to this book on Amazon's site. Though the anal constriction theme was a bit odd, I thought, "Hey that goodbye depression thing is for me!" It suddenly came to me - what better way to pull myself out of a "dead end" than to liven my "end" up through this boot camp for the bootie? Whew! Almost as good as the ones for The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women, for example. No, I'm not linking that one!
posted by y2karl (21 comments total)

Explanation.
posted by y2karl at 10:41 PM on April 23, 2002

If you won't, then I guess I will.
posted by jedrek at 10:44 PM on April 23, 2002

Thanks for the blast from the past. You said this was Post #3 - what were the other two - Manties and Autistic Dating?

You know, after all this time I still can't quite believe that MelanieGriffith.com is a real website.
posted by iconomy at 10:51 PM on April 23, 2002

I still can't quite believe that Melanie Griffith is a real human.
posted by Optamystic at 11:07 PM on April 23, 2002

All the little sound bites on the Melanie site are disturbing. "The ART...of giving."
posted by bargle at 11:07 PM on April 23, 2002

Thanks for linking that jedrek, if only for the review entitled "Chicken Soup for Your Ass".
posted by ttrendel at 11:26 PM on April 23, 2002

Did someone say The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women?

(It's work-safe, just a funny screenshot from amazon a while back)
posted by CrayDrygu at 12:16 AM on April 24, 2002

iconomy: yup.

ttrendel: I liked

How could this book be of value to a lesbian couple? A strap on, some k-y jelly, and some love are an amazing combination. Let your mind and body be set free.

and

my wife wouldn't consider this subject until i bought this book for her. i never said a word about but i knew she had read it when she called me into the bedroom one afternoon and there she was, on all fours, bottoms up and she said "open my back door and come on in!" wow! we did it that way six times that afternoon, different positions of course! her bottom is tops!

You know, I submitted this to FadeToBlack but they didn't bite...

Well, double withdrawal was too tough for me. I just walked to the 7-11--only 12 blocks in my new neighborhood and that's the closest store!--and bought a cigarette single. Smoked it on the way back, Now I feel dirty. But at least I didn't buy a pack.

And I was hot on the heels of an opossum. City opossums are so much bigger than the ones I used to see years ago in Kansas. (From all that garbage and cat food people put out.) But then the raccoons are bigger here, too. Or were--they had a parvovirus epidemic that killed of 75% of them in Seattle. I just saw my first one in two years a couple of weeks ago.

Oh, the moon and stars and all the planets bunched up in the west...What a night.
posted by y2karl at 12:20 AM on April 24, 2002

CrayDrygu: From the movie of the same name--

ET: Mom...
posted by y2karl at 12:23 AM on April 24, 2002

Thank you, CrayDrygu for giving me the best laugh I've had in 6 mos. (yeah, I'm easily entertained)
posted by ttrendel at 12:38 AM on April 24, 2002

CrayDrygu: nice one =)
posted by XiBe at 2:31 AM on April 24, 2002

Iconomy. . thank you for posting the Melanie Griffith site. . .can this be real????

I guess that she would never concern herself with a bunch of us real unattractive unwealthy people gagging back laughter as we sit at our desks clicking through this mawkish drivel. . .
posted by Danf at 7:50 AM on April 24, 2002

Danf: check the commentary in last year's winners... And leave those dolphins alone.
posted by y2karl at 7:55 AM on April 24, 2002

I think that's Settle's homepage at the bottom...
posted by y2karl at 7:56 AM on April 24, 2002

I wouldn't call this an unintentionally funny site. All the reviews are obviously meant to be funny, clearly the publisher was trying to be funny, & I wouldn't be at all surprised if the author knew what was up too.

Also the jesus butt plugs are definitely a joke (I think michael musto interviewed the queen that started that co.).

the melanie griffith thing is scary though.
posted by mdn at 8:17 AM on April 24, 2002

Not surprisingly, it's been discussed before.

But what I like is how Amazon suggests I purchase "How To Goodbye Depression" and "Ghost World" together.
posted by O9scar at 9:34 AM on April 24, 2002

All the reviews are obviously meant to be funny

Not so fast, mdn--Tepi, Inveterate scribbler, philosopher, poet, critic, Indophile, Sinophile, Psychopomp, Zoophilist, Zenist, Sademaniac and Listmaniac, judging from her Health , Mind & Body, Alt and Non-Alt, reviews, is sincere, and even alludes to the potential, shall we say, Kegelmaster aspects of the book. Somebody send her Settle's email!
Hmm, quonsar + FadeToBlack=an ongoing conspiracy, job opportunity or a marriage made in heaven?
Note: It is recommended that you empty your bladder before use.
posted by y2karl at 9:39 AM on April 24, 2002

#4, not suprisingly, then... That is a long lived dead horse.
posted by y2karl at 9:41 AM on April 24, 2002

tepi's review (which I didn't see at first b/c it was on the 2nd page of reviews):

Many years ago, on the BBC, I heard a British nurse describing how she recommended the regular daily practice of anal constriction to both women and men. I forget just why she recommended it, but apparently one of its side effects was that it does wonders for one's sex life. And who couldn't use that? I think Nishigaki san deserves our thanks for putting us on to something real here, as well as for his wonderfully funny fractured English. Could anything be more challenging than than the title of his book? I think we should all give it a try! Let's get that "hot sweet mucus" flowing!

okay, s/he mentions a british nurse who recommended anal exercises. But it's not like s/he takes the book itself seriously.

I feel like these days everyone is so aware of the kitsch appeal of things that even those who take something seriously also hope to draw in the money of the crowd who think it's a joke, which makes the joke less funny. I guess it's kind of an elitist thing. If the inner circle who thinks it's funny is basically the whole world, it's not as fun anymore... Like Jesus action figures, etc - I've no doubt plenty of christians think they're funny, but also positive towards JC. My sis gave me a jesus action figure last Xmas, with movable arms and wheels. the copy on the box seemed to walk a line, & I felt like the manufacturer knew most people would buy them as a joke, but some would be believers.
posted by mdn at 10:32 AM on April 24, 2002

All too sincere: read his--now I'm thinking:scratch Settle email--other reviews, mdn, like this one, for example--Chess, An Anatomy of Melancholy, Heidegger, Pound, Dickinson, Zecharia Sitchin and drinking urine-- he's more like your average Renaissance car wreck. And welcome to the PostIronic world--no one knows when anyone's being serious anymore, or if it's even possible...
posted by y2karl at 10:54 AM on April 24, 2002

All the narcissism your broadband connection can handle.

Another MeFi tagline?

From Melanie's site (it's OK, after spending the last 3 hours at her site, I'm on a first name basis with her now. . .she's really that kind of person).
posted by Danf at 2:13 PM on April 24, 2002