Mona
March 30, 2017 10:02 PM Subscribe
So, it's never explained in the article (linked twice?) why you don't leave an unrelated younger pig in a space with an older pig. I assume it's related to why the cat we had since she was a newly-weaned kitten absolutely REFUSES to get along with the other cat we got 3-4 years later. No homocide (felicide?) though.
Also, homocide? Maybe it should be choíroside?
posted by hippybear at 3:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Also, homocide? Maybe it should be choíroside?
posted by hippybear at 3:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
"James Taylor's 12-gauge surprise" needs to be the name of some fancy pulled-pork sandwich.
posted by lagomorphius at 4:35 AM on March 31, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 4:35 AM on March 31, 2017 [8 favorites]
I sort of like to think of James Taylor, alone in that secluded house, growing more and more nervous as the pig grew larger and larger, trying to keep the porcine malevolence at bay with music, until, one day, a friend came to visit and found only an empty clearing...
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:35 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:35 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
I didn't note who that was by when I started reading it. Seeing that it was by Michael Pollan at the end made for a perfect punchline.
posted by darksong at 4:58 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by darksong at 4:58 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Mister Bijou...thanks for the link. That was my intention... oops
posted by HuronBob at 5:55 AM on March 31, 2017
posted by HuronBob at 5:55 AM on March 31, 2017
James Taylor, pig killer of killer pig.
Huh.
I'm not sure what I think about that, but I'm sure going to be doing a lot of thinking about that for the rest of this morning, I tell you what.
posted by drlith at 5:59 AM on March 31, 2017
Huh.
I'm not sure what I think about that, but I'm sure going to be doing a lot of thinking about that for the rest of this morning, I tell you what.
posted by drlith at 5:59 AM on March 31, 2017
Bob. James. MICHAEL. We need to talk. HuronBob, thank you; it's hilarious to think about a famous artist raising livestock, and not just cute little chickens, but a massive and traditionally-built hog. It pains me a little to see Taylor's sensitive face looking at Mona--this is, after all, the gentle lullaby-maker of my own childhood--but I can also appreciate how you can go from adoring your picturesque animal to recognizing how dangerous it can be.
Maybe you've been to a county fair and seen the giant vegetables? Think of a potato. Now imagine that it's 600 pounds. Give it stubby legs, a keen sense of territory, and a temper. Fill it with muscle. Now put a little pig in the same limited space with no escape route. It will not go well. Her name was Dapple, and she was queen of the pen, and when I put a new gilt (an unbred female) in the pen next door, her back hunched up and the hackles went up from neck to tail, and she tried to snout through the fence like I am the sow in charge, and who the fk are you? Poor little Buttercup, at a quarter of her size, just wanted to be friends, but every time she tried to sniff the big pig through the bars, she'd get her snout nipped for her trouble and there'd be a complaint, sharp and high, and a satisfied and pissy grunt from the queen. This went on for about a week, and when on a Saturday I opened up the gate between them, I hopped up out of the way so as not to get hurt. There was snuffling. And pushing with the noses. And squealing. And the little pig getting snouted away from the trough, hard. By this time, it was mostly for show because Dapple had shown who was going to be in charge, and Buttercup was displaying the appropriate deference. It was a hairy few hours, getting precedence sorted out, and yet in a few days they started grazing together and keeping each other warm at night in the straw. The angry potato on legs--who had been a lonely only pig--was content, and all was right with her world again.
So, yeah: even if you mean well, and you're introducing a new pig because the old hog hates being by herself, don't just throw them in together. Nor is a "makeshift pigpen" ever a good idea. Like, ever. You want to think it through, build it strong, double-check and staple and chain your fence, and watch the pigs carefully in the dangerous period known as the first 24 hours. If there's a fault, they'll find it then. Last summer, we had a surprise pig show up. The neighbor stuck her head in the door and yelled that a pink pig had just run through her yard. Pink? PINK? Oh my God, it's somebody else's pig for a change, yippee! Her teenage son and his girlfriend chased it through the fields and caught it, a little thing, probably 10 days old, and brought it--squealing its head off--to me, because I am that kind of neighbor, the one who knows to put it in a dog crate until she can secure a safe barn stall to put the little piglet in. My kids were like, awww, can we take her out and see her? I told them no, are you crazy, do you want to be running after her? Once the stall was ready, though, they CAREFULLY got in and shut the door behind the gate I put up because damn if the little thing didn't try to go over the gate. Precautions, people. Take them.
Including culling for temperament (and thank you for that helpful framing, fellow pig person librarina). Mean hogs get sent to freezer camp.
Anyway, thank you, HuronBob. I'm going to go give my pigs breakfast and affectionate skritches.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:06 AM on March 31, 2017 [8 favorites]
Maybe you've been to a county fair and seen the giant vegetables? Think of a potato. Now imagine that it's 600 pounds. Give it stubby legs, a keen sense of territory, and a temper. Fill it with muscle. Now put a little pig in the same limited space with no escape route. It will not go well. Her name was Dapple, and she was queen of the pen, and when I put a new gilt (an unbred female) in the pen next door, her back hunched up and the hackles went up from neck to tail, and she tried to snout through the fence like I am the sow in charge, and who the fk are you? Poor little Buttercup, at a quarter of her size, just wanted to be friends, but every time she tried to sniff the big pig through the bars, she'd get her snout nipped for her trouble and there'd be a complaint, sharp and high, and a satisfied and pissy grunt from the queen. This went on for about a week, and when on a Saturday I opened up the gate between them, I hopped up out of the way so as not to get hurt. There was snuffling. And pushing with the noses. And squealing. And the little pig getting snouted away from the trough, hard. By this time, it was mostly for show because Dapple had shown who was going to be in charge, and Buttercup was displaying the appropriate deference. It was a hairy few hours, getting precedence sorted out, and yet in a few days they started grazing together and keeping each other warm at night in the straw. The angry potato on legs--who had been a lonely only pig--was content, and all was right with her world again.
So, yeah: even if you mean well, and you're introducing a new pig because the old hog hates being by herself, don't just throw them in together. Nor is a "makeshift pigpen" ever a good idea. Like, ever. You want to think it through, build it strong, double-check and staple and chain your fence, and watch the pigs carefully in the dangerous period known as the first 24 hours. If there's a fault, they'll find it then. Last summer, we had a surprise pig show up. The neighbor stuck her head in the door and yelled that a pink pig had just run through her yard. Pink? PINK? Oh my God, it's somebody else's pig for a change, yippee! Her teenage son and his girlfriend chased it through the fields and caught it, a little thing, probably 10 days old, and brought it--squealing its head off--to me, because I am that kind of neighbor, the one who knows to put it in a dog crate until she can secure a safe barn stall to put the little piglet in. My kids were like, awww, can we take her out and see her? I told them no, are you crazy, do you want to be running after her? Once the stall was ready, though, they CAREFULLY got in and shut the door behind the gate I put up because damn if the little thing didn't try to go over the gate. Precautions, people. Take them.
Including culling for temperament (and thank you for that helpful framing, fellow pig person librarina). Mean hogs get sent to freezer camp.
Anyway, thank you, HuronBob. I'm going to go give my pigs breakfast and affectionate skritches.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:06 AM on March 31, 2017 [8 favorites]
That song, Mona...if you were to hear it without the backstory, it would sound like it was another boy-girl song. I can't imagine exactly when you would realize it was something quite different. Nice song. Kind of random chord changes, but they work with the melody.
I'm a city kid, so the first time I went to a hog farm (to give a kid piano lessons) it was quite a shock. I guess you all know this, but I was young and didn't: those fuckers are big and dangerous.
posted by kozad at 6:54 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm a city kid, so the first time I went to a hog farm (to give a kid piano lessons) it was quite a shock. I guess you all know this, but I was young and didn't: those fuckers are big and dangerous.
posted by kozad at 6:54 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
JT sang background vocals on Steve Winwood's "Back in the High Life Again" (they're pretty well blended so you can only hear him clearly near the end of the song.)
But now I'm imagining that the lyrics are about making merry at a gigantic pork feast with Mona the guest of honor.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
But now I'm imagining that the lyrics are about making merry at a gigantic pork feast with Mona the guest of honor.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by jim in austin at 10:36 PM on March 30, 2017