Do Bears IT in the woods?

April 1, 2017 10:23 PM

A bear is spotted in Montana carrying a laptop. At last we have photographic evidence of the fact that bears have joined humanity in the digital age. We should not be surprised, after all, bears are driving cars and sailing boats.
posted by fallingbadgers (39 comments total)

The bear is doing a startup, obvs. I heard it's gonna be Instagram for bears
posted by potrzebie at 10:43 PM on April 1, 2017 [13 favorites]

HOW CAN THAT BE?
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 10:46 PM on April 1, 2017 [14 favorites]

Obviously going to use Google and Google maps to find pik-a-nik baskets, Boo Boo.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:49 PM on April 1, 2017 [9 favorites]

Some bears have been smarter than average for nearly 60 years.

Of all the cartoon characters of that era, Yogi seemed the most likely to go high-tech... next to Augie Doggie.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:14 PM on April 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Hibernate mode for bears is netflix and chill.
posted by adept256 at 11:17 PM on April 1, 2017 [5 favorites]

Well, fuck. Next camping trip, I AM NOT HANGING MY TABLET FROM A TREE!
posted by Samizdata at 11:48 PM on April 1, 2017 [4 favorites]

that is what makes Montana great

Pollution?
posted by pompomtom at 11:56 PM on April 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

Shamelessly stolen from @tniver on Twitter: "jesus christ betsy devos was right"
posted by zachlipton at 12:03 AM on April 2, 2017 [28 favorites]

Bear wants to keep up with Stephen Colbert on the internets.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 12:17 AM on April 2, 2017 [6 favorites]

Trying to get an ubear?

I'll see myself out...
posted by threecheesetrees at 12:21 AM on April 2, 2017 [13 favorites]

Like Uber for ursines.
posted by ardgedee at 2:01 AM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Well come on that bear's a big Twitter star, he's got to post his tweets somehow.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:08 AM on April 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

So people throw away their porn by just pitching a laptop into the brush now?
posted by tillermo at 3:09 AM on April 2, 2017 [24 favorites]

Wait, were porno magazines in the woods because people are afraid to throw them out in their regular garbage? I always assumed that teenagers and homeless dudes kept their porn in the woods because they had nowhere else to stash it.
posted by Literaryhero at 3:57 AM on April 2, 2017 [5 favorites]

Not that I often think about porn in the woods, ahem.
posted by Literaryhero at 3:58 AM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Anybody know if they've discovered fire?
posted by NervousVarun at 4:21 AM on April 2, 2017 [11 favorites]

NIFOC = Bare
BIFOC = Bear
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:02 AM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

MeFi's own!
posted by heyho at 5:55 AM on April 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

We already know they enjoy hot tubs. I've seen theories ranging from it's good for their arthritis, to suggesting that hot tubs smell like ant larvae.
posted by postel's law at 6:23 AM on April 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

porno magazines in the woods

Previously on Metafilter.
posted by dis_integration at 6:34 AM on April 2, 2017 [4 favorites]

As long as he doesn't fall for the Free Forest WiFi scam, he'll be fine.
posted by tommasz at 6:40 AM on April 2, 2017 [5 favorites]

I have long suspected that there is no such thing as a bear - at least no photographs of an actual bear. What we are seeing are drunk humans in bear suits.
See: Bear at University of Colorado
posted by honeybee413 at 6:50 AM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

He's a "silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat"
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:34 AM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Someone tell John Irving.
posted by Segundus at 7:56 AM on April 2, 2017 [8 favorites]

In other news, the city of Whitefish's only Lotus Notes programmer has gone missing...
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:04 AM on April 2, 2017 [14 favorites]

I... don't think that's a laptop. It looks more like one of those leather/vinyl zip-around document cases, which would also be the sort of thing a bear would want to pick up and chew.
posted by Flashman at 8:46 AM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

A bear family frolicking on the beach at Lake Tahoe.
posted by Brian B. at 8:49 AM on April 2, 2017 [6 favorites]

I came for a Terry Bisson reference and you did not disappoint.
posted by Ber at 9:30 AM on April 2, 2017 [4 favorites]

If it really is a laptop I hope the bear gets bored with it before he bites into the battery case.
posted by lagomorphius at 11:07 AM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

no, get away from the laptop - get away from that laptop - come here - come on - stop it bear - stop it - bear - bear - bear, you're breaking it - you're breaking my laptop - why are you doing that? - why are you breaking my laptop?
posted by pyramid termite at 11:23 AM on April 2, 2017 [9 favorites]

On the internet, nobody knows you're a bear.
posted by ckape at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

I mean, I've heard. *coughs*
posted by ckape at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

Of course, the first thing he googled was 'naked bears' and he got a big surprise.
posted by jonmc at 12:31 PM on April 2, 2017 [8 favorites]

He's got the first draft of the script of Paul Blart 3 on that thing.
posted by anothermug at 2:09 PM on April 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

Photographer captures ‘praying’ polar bear in front of cross in Newfoundland.
posted by Fizz at 5:19 PM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

I thought the smart bears were in the Adirondacks.
posted by nat at 7:34 PM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

WHO GAVE MY FATHER-IN-LAW A LAPTOP
posted by pxe2000 at 3:30 AM on April 3, 2017

Who says the Bears aren't constantly preparing for the NFL draft? All hands are on deck!
posted by SisterHavana at 7:48 AM on April 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

It's like Uber, but for dental floss.
posted by thelonius at 8:01 AM on April 3, 2017