Directed by Arthur Slugworth?

April 19, 2017 8:04 PM

"Mel Stuart's Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory is one of the most beloved family films ever made. Featuring an iconic performance from the late, great Gene Wilder, eyepopping production design, a sly sense of humor and a parade of memorable songs, the film is a stone-cold classic.

So, here's a fun idea: what if you turned that stone-cold classic into a horribly-animated, direct-to-video Tom And Jerry movie?"
posted by Atom Eyes (90 comments total)

The Wonka is simultaneously less charming than Wilder's (or even the cartoon Wonka label mascot) and creepier-voiced than Depp's. I actually liked the remake, and between the two movies nobody needed another. This isn't just a cash-grab, it's a root-around underneath the couch cushions for spare change.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:08 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

I was like, "What? Who cares? How bad can it be?"

However bad you're thinking it is? It's worse.
posted by komara at 8:09 PM on April 19, 2017 [5 favorites]

i watched the trailer because i couldn't understand the concept of adding the cat and mouse to the movie.

Having watched it, I still can't.
posted by rebent at 8:14 PM on April 19, 2017 [14 favorites]

It took me a long time to realize that this wasn't from 1983.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:24 PM on April 19, 2017 [19 favorites]

What's more is they have the gall to label it "original movie"
posted by ckape at 8:25 PM on April 19, 2017 [4 favorites]

This film was produced, animated, and voiced entirely by AIs.
12 of 19 found this interesting
posted by theodolite at 8:25 PM on April 19, 2017 [8 favorites]

Will there be a Rick and Morty version, too?
posted by lagomorphius at 8:35 PM on April 19, 2017 [12 favorites]

There is likely some explanation which involves double-entry accounting, an international trademark application, and an outstanding cocaine payment.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:38 PM on April 19, 2017 [12 favorites]

>Will there be a Rick and Morty version, too?

I believe you mean "Will there be a 'Rick and Morty: Tom And Jerry: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory'?"
posted by kcds at 8:46 PM on April 19, 2017 [13 favorites]

Perhaps we could have Ren and Stimpy's fun-filled outing to the chocolate death factory of their dreams? I need something grand to replace this atrocity in my mind.
posted by N-stoff at 8:48 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

Why do all these direct-to-video trailers start with "Get ready for an all-new [something something]"? How ready do I need to be for this? Should I file paperwork? Pack supplies? What's going to happen?
posted by a car full of lions at 8:51 PM on April 19, 2017 [31 favorites]

My kids have seen some of these other Tom And Jerry abominations on cable TV.

I've tried to explain that Tom and Jerry were mortal enemies that used to beat the shit out of each other. They don't believe me.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:54 PM on April 19, 2017 [6 favorites]

Everybody should take a moment to refresh themselves on the Fenslerfilm GI Joe remixes. THEN watch this trailer, and notice that... it's the same people doing the voices, I swear to God.

That aside--my expectations of humanity are pretty low these days, and this is STILL one of the crappiest things I've ever seen.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:54 PM on April 19, 2017 [3 favorites]

I wonder if these type of productions make money from international licensing. In Japan, Tom & Jerry are still surprisingly in the popular zeitgeist. I've seen the Tom & Jerry Wizard of Oz adaptation on NHK or network TV here within the past year. There's also a family restaurant chain called Baby Face Planets that plays Tom & Jerry episodes on endless silent loop beside every table.

Maybe the humor translates easier than something like Looney Tunes because there are fewer culture references.
posted by p3t3 at 9:07 PM on April 19, 2017 [1 favorite]

Gosh you guys are harsh. Did you see that scene where Jerry ate a giant gummy bear, and then he turned into the shape of a gummy bear? Hilarious!
posted by Metro Gnome at 9:12 PM on April 19, 2017 [7 favorites]

I honestly thought this was some sort of amazing fan parody, but I kept looking at that Fandango logo in the corner of the screen and knew it was not to be.
posted by zachlipton at 9:15 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

What would really work would be to use the cast of Wacky Racers in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Instead of Charlie, though, use Penelope Pitstop. Muttly could be an Oompa Loompa. Or something.

Or why not a Batman mashup?
posted by My Dad at 9:18 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

This film seems to capture the zeitgeist of 2017 in its very essence.
posted by wotsac at 9:29 PM on April 19, 2017 [3 favorites]

the burning wax, the breath of reptiles, etc
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:30 PM on April 19, 2017 [7 favorites]

How ready do I need to be for this?

Prepare the blindfold and earplugs.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:38 PM on April 19, 2017 [1 favorite]

Dahl super-fan here. Interesting that there's no mention of this on the official Dahl site. I wonder if they had anything to do with it. The 70's film was actually produced by the Quaker Oats company (yes, really), so maybe they sold the rights or something and that's why this abomination exists. It's definitely derived from the movie - down to the costumes and dialogue - and it includes stupid changes/additions that weren't in the book (like the fizzy lifting drink theft and the golden geese).

I'm going to have to research this further...
posted by web-goddess at 9:40 PM on April 19, 2017 [8 favorites]

There is likely some explanation which involves double-entry accounting, an international trademark application, and an outstanding cocaine payment.

I was going to guess pumping out crap to maintain IP rights or something, but I like this better.
posted by codacorolla at 9:44 PM on April 19, 2017

I know I've heard whoever voiced that oompaloompa mouse on Futurama, I think as I rod the orphanarium kids. Sad story.
posted by es_de_bah at 9:47 PM on April 19, 2017

Tom and Jerry direct-to-VHS/DVD movies have been coming out on the regular since 2002, and the last eight include more crossovers than not: The Nutcracker, Sherlock Holmes, MGM's Wizard of Oz (twice - the second may be the first MGM Oz product to feature elements from other Oz books), Robin Hood and Jonny Quest.
posted by BiggerJ at 9:58 PM on April 19, 2017

> There is likely some explanation which involves double-entry accounting, an international trademark application, and an outstanding cocaine payment.

Eventually all decisions about all major cultural productions will be made by deep learning systems trained to recognize profitability in synergies that humans would never, ever think of, and which seem utterly nonsensical to humans. When that happens we'll look back with nostalgia on things like Tom and Jerry Go to Wonka's Factory for a Reason.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:12 PM on April 19, 2017 [7 favorites]

Tom and Jerry were better when they were maiming and dismembering each other in the old seven minute shorts. Is this really where progress has taken us?
posted by 2N2222 at 10:12 PM on April 19, 2017 [5 favorites]

lagomorphius: "Will there be a Rick and Morty version, too?"

Their third-rate Charlie Bucket knockoff does look remarkably like Doofus Rick...
posted by Rhaomi at 10:18 PM on April 19, 2017

Next up for remakes: Love Actually with Droopy Dog taking over fior the late Alan Rickman and Bill the Cat subbing for Bill Nighy; The Fast And The Furious starring the Road Runner and Wile E, Coyote, and Fight Club with Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny. Watch Daffy knock his own beak off ib front of horrified boss Elmer "Cornfwowah Bwoo" Fudd, Spoiker: Daffy *is* Bugs.

And by the way, it's not Bucket, it's Charlie BOO-KAY!
posted by zaixfeep at 11:20 PM on April 19, 2017 [8 favorites]

OK let's calm down a bit. The original is not some untouchable cinematic masterpiece. It has midgets painted orange that work as slave labor. It's barely kept afloat by Wilder.
posted by Brocktoon at 11:20 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

BiggerJ: "Tom and Jerry direct-to-VHS/DVD movies have been coming out on the regular since 2002, and the last eight include more crossovers than not: The Nutcracker, Sherlock Holmes, MGM's Wizard of Oz (twice - the second may be the first MGM Oz product to feature elements from other Oz books), Robin Hood and Jonny Quest."

Tom & Jerry and Wuthering Heights
Tom & Jerry and Finnegans Wake
Tom & Jerry and Crime and Punishment
Tom & Jerry and Oedipus Rex
Tom & Jerry and Boys Don't Cry
Tom & Jerry and Erin Brockovich
Tom & Jerry and Seven Days In May
Tom & Jerry and Threads
posted by Chrysostom at 11:25 PM on April 19, 2017 [10 favorites]

Tom and Jerry and Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
posted by egypturnash at 11:29 PM on April 19, 2017 [30 favorites]

Tom & Jerry & Bob & Carol
posted by ckape at 11:29 PM on April 19, 2017 [2 favorites]

OK let's calm down a bit. The original is not some untouchable cinematic masterpiece.

Good day, sir.

It has midgets painted orange that work as slave labor. It's barely kept afloat by Wilder.

I said good day!
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:32 PM on April 19, 2017 [39 favorites]

It's been a few years, but I don't recall Oompa Loompa wages being discussed in the movie.
posted by rhizome at 11:36 PM on April 19, 2017 [1 favorite]

Oompa Loompas do OK, they're in the ILGWU. "Oonpa Loompa oompadee doo, Look for the union label on view..."
posted by zaixfeep at 11:51 PM on April 19, 2017 [16 favorites]

The Fast and the Furious starring the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote
posted by darksasami at 11:55 PM on April 19, 2017 [3 favorites]

The thing that disturbs me most about this is that I haven't been able to find any production info on this abomination. It definitely seems like a rush-job, but even a quick-turn animated feature takes most of a year.

Seeing as the great (Young Frankenstein was his original script, mic drop, out!) Mr. Wilder only left us at the end of August last year, it's entirely plausible that this *very bad thing* was in progress while he was still alive.

...also, the early Tom and Jerry cartoons at MGM were fantastic, and by far the best things Hanna and Barbera ever had their names on. (Tex Avery may or may not deserve a lot of the credit for this, too.)
posted by Anoplura at 12:03 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

We missed the most obvious potential remake:
"Tom & Jerry Maguire" -- "SHOW ME THE TUNA!"
posted by zaixfeep at 12:18 AM on April 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

Everybody should take a moment to refresh themselves on the Fenslerfilm GI Joe remixes.

I am sending you an invoice for the amount of time I just spent watching all of these again.

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:28 AM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

We missed the most obvious potential remake:
"Tom & Jerry Maguire" -- "SHOW ME THE TUNA!"

Oh no you didn't.

Tom & Jerry Seinfeld - What's the deal with cat carriers anyway?
posted by Literaryhero at 1:36 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

What would really work would be to use the cast of Wacky Racers in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Instead of Charlie, though, use Penelope Pitstop. Muttly could be an Oompa Loompa. Or something.

I would watch this.
posted by mikelieman at 3:13 AM on April 20, 2017

I believe you mean "Will there be a 'Rick and Morty: Tom And Jerry: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory'?"

Hi, as the CEO of Telltale Games, I'm very interested in licensing this intellectual property.
posted by xigxag at 4:04 AM on April 20, 2017 [6 favorites]

It has midgets painted orange that work as slave labor. It's barely kept afloat by Wilder.

FYI, ironically the word "midget" is kind of the n-word of the dwarfism community. Persons/people with dwarfism or little people is preferable.
posted by xigxag at 4:06 AM on April 20, 2017 [8 favorites]

I'm sure the producers of Zombie Simpsons would be on board for

Tom &
Jerry &
Itchy &
Scratchy
posted by Rock Steady at 4:08 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Tom and Jerry and Hamilton
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:16 AM on April 20, 2017

The thing that raises my hackles is the fact they don't appear to have tried making an integrated Tom And Jerry And The Chocolate Factory cartoon, just shoehorned them into/semi-coloned them onto an entire existing story.

A Wrinkle In Tom (And Jerry) or Tom And Jerry Up The Faraway Tree, YES!
Tom And Jerry in A Catstrel For A Knave or The Mowlse Service, uhhh maybe?
Tom And Jerry: Splinter Cell: Charlifactory Colonoscopy, NO!
posted by comealongpole at 5:04 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

(brb, these clouds ain't gonna shout at themselves!)
posted by comealongpole at 5:06 AM on April 20, 2017

Is “Arthur Slugworth” anything like “Alan Smithee”, the name they stick on writing/directing credits when whoever actually did it refuses to take responsibility?
posted by acb at 5:17 AM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

The thing that raises my hackles is the fact they don't appear to have tried making an integrated Tom And Jerry And The Chocolate Factory cartoon, just shoehorned them into/semi-coloned them onto an entire existing story.

That's the part that bewilders me. I haven't seen any Tom and Jerry properties created in the last few decades, so I'd kind of assumed this was a normal cartoon adaptation where the story is refactored around the cartoon characters (akin to what the various Muppets movies have done with their adaptations). But AFAICT from the trailer it's a shot-for-shot remake of the Wilder classic, but with Tom and Jerry hanging around with Charlie and being otherwise irrelevant to the story.

I didn't much care for the Burton/Depp Chocolate Factory, but at least it showed signs of having considered what it wanted to be and how it wanted to establish its own identity, instead of just being a tired rehash.
posted by jackbishop at 5:18 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

I prefer the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang remake with Worker & Parasite, Eastern Europe's favorite cat and mouse team
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:35 AM on April 20, 2017 [8 favorites]

The 70's film was actually produced by the Quaker Oats company (yes, really), so maybe they sold the rights or something and that's why this abomination exists

Given that the Quaker Oats company stole and misrepresentated the cultural and religious identity of actual Quakers, including that of another famous chocolate factory owner, I wouldn't put anything past them in respect of Mr Wonka!
posted by howfar at 5:48 AM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Tom & Jerry & Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.
posted by RobotHero at 5:49 AM on April 20, 2017 [11 favorites]

Let's go prestige and highbrow with this:

Tom and Jerry and Sense and Sensibility.

Tom and Jerry and War and Peace

Crime and Punishment and Tom and Jerry.

Pride and Prejudice and Tom and Jerry.

Also I quite liked the Depp/Burton Wonka. As was said above, it was trying to be it's own thing, which I enjoy. Plus, it had Christopher Lee in it. However, it may have gone up in my estimation retroactiely because Tim Burton is a fucking madman, who at some point said "This scene needs trained squirrels".
posted by Grimgrin at 6:14 AM on April 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

I would watch Tom and Jerry: Mouse Hunt if Christopher Walken was in it.
posted by lagomorphius at 7:09 AM on April 20, 2017

Pfft. Prestige TV is where it's at:

Tom and Jerry and the Walking Dead
Tom and Jerry and Breaking Bad
Tom and Jerry and Game of Thrones
posted by nubs at 7:18 AM on April 20, 2017

It's definitely derived from the movie - down to the costumes and dialogue - and it includes stupid changes/additions that weren't in the book (like the fizzy lifting drink theft and the golden geese).

I just don't get this at all. As stated before, it looks to be a shot-for-shot remake of the live action movie. Why? Why does this need to exist at all?
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:19 AM on April 20, 2017

Why? Why does this need to exist at all?

I think the problem with this question is that you're attempting to explain this movie in terms of its use value rather than its exchange value.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:21 AM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Tom and Jerry and Parks and Recreation

(What, there's already a Jerry on Parks and Recreation? Eh, just call him Larry.)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:23 AM on April 20, 2017

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, Her Lover, Tom, and Jerry
Sid and Nancy and Tom and Jerry
Tom and Jerry's Oldboy (possibly not the most pointless Oldboy remake)
posted by mubba at 8:33 AM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

I remember when they first rolled out the whole "Tom and Jerry - BFF" shtick back in the 70's. Hated that shit when I was six. Pretty sure this would have made me cry if I'd seen it back then.
Are the old Tom and Jerry shorts available these days?
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 9:07 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

I just don't get this at all. As stated before, it looks to be a shot-for-shot remake of the live action movie. Why? Why does this need to exist at all?

My best guess is that it originally began as a small studio animated re-make of the Willy Wonka movie but funding fell through halfway through production, so the producers shopped it around to various animation studios and eventually Warner Bros. (which now owns Hanna-Barbera) agreed to back it with the caveat that they be required to shoe-horn in some gratuitous scenes of Tom & Jerry smashing stuff in order to capitalize on a pre-existing, big name Intellectual Property.

That, or what theodolite said previously.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:09 AM on April 20, 2017

This is clearly a result of an IRL plot of the Producers. The Gene Wilder connection is probably intentional.
posted by numaner at 9:43 AM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Tom and Jerry and Henry and June
posted by nubs at 10:11 AM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

Once Tom and Jerry started being friends, they ceased to have distinct personalities or even a reason for being. I'm not only baffled about why this particular film exists but about why new Tom and Jerry properties continue to be created at all.

But AFAICT from the trailer it's a shot-for-shot remake of the Wilder classic, but with Tom and Jerry hanging around with Charlie and being otherwise irrelevant to the story.

I think it has to be this way because these properties (characters is the wrong word) have no ability to carry a story. Bereft of their adversarial nature, they lack everything that might allow them to be the subject of a story.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:13 AM on April 20, 2017 [4 favorites]

Tom and Jerry and State and Revolution.

Jerry is Trotsky, Tom is Stalin, and the movie's terrible cause for some reason they're friends.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:16 AM on April 20, 2017

Here's the story that could have happened. A mouse has infiltrated the chocolate factory. Wonka brings in a cat to catch the mouse. They spend 75 minutes beating each other up using iconic Wonka factory things and at the end, the cat is kicked out for wrecking the factory. Last image is Jerry riding in Wonka's hat, blowing a raspberry at Tom.

Why is that so hard In 2017?
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:17 AM on April 20, 2017 [6 favorites]

We Need to Talk About Kevin, Tom, and Jerry
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:22 AM on April 20, 2017 [4 favorites]

I hated any violence, including cartoon violence, as a kid, so I loved the movies where Tom and Jerry are friends - especially that one where they rescue a kid? From an evil rich lady? And there's a raspy fat dog on a scooter? And alligators? My memory is fuzzy.

But this movie is an abomination onto the Lord.
posted by hapaxes.legomenon at 10:54 AM on April 20, 2017

Tom & Jerry and Benny & Joon
posted by nubs at 11:05 AM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is Putin directed PsyOps yes?
posted by mazola at 11:08 AM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

But this movie is an abomination onto the Lord.

And if you've ever abominated onto the Lord, you know how painful His retribution can be!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:09 AM on April 20, 2017

This is Putin directed PsyOps yes?

"Flynn-Manafort Pictures^TM in association with WikiLeaks Distribution presents..."
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:30 AM on April 20, 2017

This post and discussion reminded me of this movie I saw a few years back: Jerry and Tom. It has nothing to do with the cartoon characters unless you think blue collar hit men is similar. Pretty sure it was based off a play given how it was filmed. I could look it up... but I won't.
posted by Green With You at 11:33 AM on April 20, 2017

My Dinner with Tom and Jerry and Andre
posted by darksasami at 12:04 PM on April 20, 2017 [4 favorites]

> This film was produced, animated, and voiced, and viewed entirely by AIs.

Welcome to our new, entirely automated, world economy.
posted by flug at 12:14 PM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

It actually would have been more clever if they had super-imposed Tom and Jerry into the live-action movie. Like it's the new colourization, just take classic movies and put Tom and Jerry into them.
posted by RobotHero at 12:18 PM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

> This film was produced, animated, and voiced, and viewed entirely by AIs.


I now have a vision of post-singularity humanity: AIs using time travel to transport humans to the future to demand we explain bizarre pop culture mashups to them.
posted by nubs at 12:33 PM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

I now have a vision of post-singularity humanity: AIs using time travel to transport humans to the future to demand we explain bizarre pop culture mashups to them.

Way to make Roko's basilisk even scarier.

"BUT THE ODDS OF THE DELOREAN CRASHING INTO THE TARDIS ARE SO MINUSCULE, AND SURELY ONE PARTY OR THE OTHER WOULD BE INSTANTLY VAPORIZED BY THE SPEEDS INVOLVED."
"Look, it's not meant to be literal... *sigh* Can I just go back to the chamber of eternal tortures?"
posted by Etrigan at 12:56 PM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

"WHAT DOES IT MEAN, 'ONE CANNOT SIMPLY WALK INTO HODOR'?"
posted by nubs at 12:58 PM on April 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

"Forget it, Jake. It's Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:04 PM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Life IS pain, princess, even if you're in another castle."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:05 PM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

"Yippee ki-yay, nanu-nanu!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:10 PM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]

When they were in high school, before they were Simon & Garfunkel, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel performed together under the name Tom & Jerry.

How about we have a shot-for-shot remake of Willy Wonka, except with Simon & Garfunkel singing all the songs? That I would watch.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:23 PM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

We missed the most obvious potential remake:
"Tom & Jerry Maguire" -- "SHOW ME THE TUNA!"

"Tom & Jerry: Kindergarten Cat" -- "IT'S NOT A TUNA!"
posted by Vendar at 2:32 PM on April 20, 2017 [5 favorites]

TJ Trainspotting
posted by betweenthebars at 3:39 PM on April 20, 2017

Once Tom and Jerry started being friends, they ceased to have distinct personalities or even a reason for being.

Tom and Jerry and Being and Time.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 5:20 PM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

How about we have a shot-for-shot remake of Willy Wonka, except with Simon & Garfunkel singing all the songs?

As interesting as it would be to hear either of their takes on I Want It Now, somehow I doubt they could outdo Julie Dawn Cole.

But hell yeah, let's have the Oompa Loompas lip synching — Art: "What do you get from a glut of TV?" Paul: "A pain in the neck and an IQ of 3."
posted by mubba at 6:43 PM on April 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

The alligator thing is the Rescuers, which is awesome. Btw, I didn't think Jerry could talk. What's up with that?
posted by freecellwizard at 7:00 PM on April 20, 2017

Tom and Jerry and Being and Time.

Tom & Jerry and Being and Nothingness.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:11 PM on April 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mr. Wilder only left us at the end of August last year, it's entirely plausible that this *very bad thing* was in progress while he was still alive.

It's entirely plausible that this is what killed him.
posted by webmutant at 10:57 PM on April 20, 2017 [3 favorites]