I am a great believer in half measures / Or no measures at all.
April 25, 2017 4:30 PM   Subscribe

The Inertia Variations by John Tottenham: a series of poems about not getting shit done. Caution: may be depressing.
posted by moonmilk (13 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ha ha. Fucker got hold of my diary. Not very good poems really.
posted by sockpup at 5:25 PM on April 25, 2017


This is the McSweeniest non-McSweeney thing I've seen in a long time.
posted by rhizome at 5:41 PM on April 25, 2017 [4 favorites]


the excites me but my husband just told me to stop reading it so...
posted by rebent at 6:07 PM on April 25, 2017


Oh no.
posted by mean square error at 6:30 PM on April 25, 2017


EPITAPH

Here lies the boady
 o' Wullie McGlumpher
Oh, he wiz unco clever:
He could ha pit his haun tae onything
But he never.

  — Walter McCorrisken

posted by scruss at 6:40 PM on April 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


INURED TO OTIOSITY
By Kerobomb

I am told, often enough, that it is not too late
To do something with my life.
But, unfortunately, the fact that I am not dead yet
Fails to inspire much hope or motivation
For a productive future. And on the evidence of my past
It is clear that there will be no belated burst of activity.
I have been talking about last hurrahs for a long time
Without any sign of an initial hurrah.


Fuckin' hilarious and describes me completely.
posted by storybored at 7:24 PM on April 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Last updated in 2008.

I haven't done shit with my life either.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:54 PM on April 25, 2017


it me
posted by Going To Maine at 8:19 PM on April 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Along the same lines (pt 1):

Lower the Standard: That's My Motto

Lower the standard: that's my motto. Somebody is always putting the food out of reach. We're tired of falling off ladders. Who says a cihld can't paint? A pro is somebody who does it for money. Lower the standards. Let's all play poetry. Down with ideals, flags, convention buttons, morals, the scrambled eggs on the admiral's hat. I'm talking sense. Lower the standrads. Sabotage the stylistic approach. Let weeds grow in the subdivision. Putty up the incisions in the library facade, those names that frighten grade-school teachers, those names whose U's are cut like V's. Burn the Syntopicon and The Harvard Classics. Lower the standards on classics, battleships, Russian ballet, national anthems (but they're low enough). Break through to the bottom. Be natural as an American abroad who knows no language, not even American. Keelhaul the poets in the vestry chairs. Renovate the Abbey of cold-storage dreamers. Get off the Culture Wagon. Learn how to walk the way you want. Slump your shoulders, stick your belly out, arms all over the table. How many generations will this take? Don't think about it, just make a start. (You have made a start.) Don't break anything you can step around, but don't pick it up . The law of gravity is the law of art. You first, poetry second, the good, the beautiful, the true come last. As the lad said: we must love one another or die. -- Karl Shapiro
posted by storybored at 8:21 PM on April 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


tottenham is a marvel... lots of love for him over at peteski.
posted by j_curiouser at 12:07 AM on April 26, 2017


These are hilarious.
posted by fullerine at 1:26 AM on April 26, 2017


Is the fact that these are not very good poems qua poems part of the point? Please tell me that's part of the point.
posted by drlith at 9:40 AM on April 26, 2017


TL;DA: Too Late, Didn't Accomplish
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:55 AM on April 27, 2017


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