You are actually looking at thirty-meter bushes
April 26, 2017 3:37 PM Subscribe
Everybody knows that mountains are giant piles of rock. What this video presupposes is, what if they're actually giant tree stumps?
As a metaconspiracy theorist, I'm really getting a kick, etc.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:46 PM on April 26, 2017
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:46 PM on April 26, 2017
I used to be amused by this kind of thing. Now I only find it depressing. I wonder what changed?
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:56 PM on April 26, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:56 PM on April 26, 2017 [12 favorites]
Thousands of people are ready to believe it.
Given that there are 7+ billion people on the planet, thousands are willing to believe anything. I mean, right now, more than 10,000 people believe that Andrew Carnegie was made entirely out of cheese, and most of the rest don't know anything about him.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:08 PM on April 26, 2017 [9 favorites]
Given that there are 7+ billion people on the planet, thousands are willing to believe anything. I mean, right now, more than 10,000 people believe that Andrew Carnegie was made entirely out of cheese, and most of the rest don't know anything about him.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:08 PM on April 26, 2017 [9 favorites]
the article is amazing and the video is exactly the type of boring that I get a huge kick out of making my coworkers watch.
posted by rebent at 4:23 PM on April 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rebent at 4:23 PM on April 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Can't bring myself to watch the movie....did giant chainsaws cut them down, all nice and flat on top?
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:43 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:43 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
After 2016 my new conspiracy theory is that all the most outlandish conspiracy theories are lead generation campaigns for rubes to pick up and disseminate propaganda.
posted by jason_steakums at 4:48 PM on April 26, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by jason_steakums at 4:48 PM on April 26, 2017 [10 favorites]
The narrator alleges that large bathtubs are proof of the technological complexities of previous ages
I think this might actually be a weirder thing to think than that plateaus are enormous tree stumps.
posted by Copronymus at 5:14 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
I think this might actually be a weirder thing to think than that plateaus are enormous tree stumps.
posted by Copronymus at 5:14 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
GenjiandProust - Can you prove to me that Andrew Carnegie was not made entirely out of cheese?
I didn't think so.
posted by bh at 5:53 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
I didn't think so.
posted by bh at 5:53 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
- Can you prove to me that Andrew Carnegie was not made entirely out of cheese?
It's what kind of cheese.
That's what keeps people up at night.
posted by Max Power at 6:17 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
It's what kind of cheese.
That's what keeps people up at night.
posted by Max Power at 6:17 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
What happened to the good old days when we just blamed these things on roggas-sorry, Orogenes?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:21 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:21 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
- Can you prove to me that Andrew Carnegie was not made entirely out of cheese?
It's what kind of cheese.
That's what keeps people up at night.
Q: How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
A: Prastost, prastost, prastost.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 6:24 PM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
It's what kind of cheese.
That's what keeps people up at night.
Q: How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
A: Prastost, prastost, prastost.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 6:24 PM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I, too, was one amused but now am depressed by this sort of thing. When i realised that these people can vote and raise children it became very tragic.
posted by dazed_one at 6:49 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by dazed_one at 6:49 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
These people are your family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. And you are depressed that they've bought into a warm blanket of self-delusion. This thought actually physically moves you to a state of depression, in fact you are so disturbed by this feeling you feel compelled to write about it on the internet. Why? To what benefit?
But surely, surely, they are the irrational humans. Not us. Never us.
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:12 PM on April 26, 2017
But surely, surely, they are the irrational humans. Not us. Never us.
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:12 PM on April 26, 2017
Really makes ya think!
posted by thelonius at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Well...I'm pretty sure they are the ones who think mountains are giant tree stumps, not me.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Chrysostom at 7:26 PM on April 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
May the Great Worm gnaw your giant tree stumps.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:48 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:48 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
My first thought was the video creator got high and watched Avatar, but yeah these conspiracy theories can be a real rabbit whole to fall down into.
posted by Carillon at 9:45 PM on April 26, 2017
posted by Carillon at 9:45 PM on April 26, 2017
I used to be amused by this kind of thing. Now I only find it depressing. I wonder what changed?
I think for me it's kind of a sobering indicator of just how poorly human cognition scales and adapts in all sorts of directions. And, relatedly, just how widespread various forms of untreated / untreatable mental illness probably are.
posted by brennen at 10:01 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
I think for me it's kind of a sobering indicator of just how poorly human cognition scales and adapts in all sorts of directions. And, relatedly, just how widespread various forms of untreated / untreatable mental illness probably are.
posted by brennen at 10:01 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
But surely, surely, they are the irrational humans. Not us. Never us.
Who is us? If you're talking about us, we would be completely OK with a flat earth balanced on the back of a giant turtle if provided with some evidence that stands up to scrutiny, a theory that is at least self-consistent and an explanation for all the other observations we've made so far.
This is actually a good test if you are going for rationality: Would you be willing to accept that you are wrong in the face of evidence?
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:32 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Who is us? If you're talking about us, we would be completely OK with a flat earth balanced on the back of a giant turtle if provided with some evidence that stands up to scrutiny, a theory that is at least self-consistent and an explanation for all the other observations we've made so far.
This is actually a good test if you are going for rationality: Would you be willing to accept that you are wrong in the face of evidence?
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:32 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Given that there are 7+ billion people on the planet, thousands are willing to believe anything. I mean, right now, more than 10,000 people believe that Andrew Carnegie was made entirely out of cheese, and most of the rest don't know anything about him.
But Andrew Carnegie is made of cheese. Well, cheeses.
Don't be ridiculous, of course he's not all one kind of cheese. I haven't lost any sleep over this at all. Are you all one kind of meat? Of course not, that would be absurd. Just like any of the secret Cheese People who walk among us every day terrified of crackers, he's made of harder cheese for bones, softer cheeses like brie for, say, a liver, firm smoky gouda for the heart and giant, spongy balls of mozzarella for brains.
His loins? Pish. The bluest Stilton.
posted by loquacious at 10:55 PM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
But Andrew Carnegie is made of cheese. Well, cheeses.
Don't be ridiculous, of course he's not all one kind of cheese. I haven't lost any sleep over this at all. Are you all one kind of meat? Of course not, that would be absurd. Just like any of the secret Cheese People who walk among us every day terrified of crackers, he's made of harder cheese for bones, softer cheeses like brie for, say, a liver, firm smoky gouda for the heart and giant, spongy balls of mozzarella for brains.
His loins? Pish. The bluest Stilton.
posted by loquacious at 10:55 PM on April 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Given that there are 7+ billion people on the planet, thousands are willing to believe anything. I mean, right now, more than 10,000 people believe that Andrew Carnegie was made entirely out of cheese, and most of the rest don't know anything about him.
Once, many years ago, I was running a tabletop game where one of the characters was a god, and he literally pushed the Moon out of orbit to prevent a celestial alignment from waking up some (considerably worse) Lovecraftian horror.
One of the other players remarked that there had to be a guy somewhere who was just waiting for this, like he's all ready to throw a party because his crazy belief had finally come true. We joked about 'blessed be the Moon-Pusher' for literally years afterward.
... I guess what I'm saying is that I agree with this 100%.
posted by mordax at 11:18 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
Once, many years ago, I was running a tabletop game where one of the characters was a god, and he literally pushed the Moon out of orbit to prevent a celestial alignment from waking up some (considerably worse) Lovecraftian horror.
One of the other players remarked that there had to be a guy somewhere who was just waiting for this, like he's all ready to throw a party because his crazy belief had finally come true. We joked about 'blessed be the Moon-Pusher' for literally years afterward.
... I guess what I'm saying is that I agree with this 100%.
posted by mordax at 11:18 PM on April 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
ver on the astronomy and NASA Gogle+ groups, the Flat Earthers used to frequently show up, with posts like "Prove the Earth is round", and drawing people into pointless arguments. At least until I blocked them all. For all I know, they're still doing it. They probably are- they won't give up
posted by happyroach at 11:20 PM on April 26, 2017
posted by happyroach at 11:20 PM on April 26, 2017
FTA: "you will reverse your concept of forests by 360 degrees"
Why does this always happen?
posted by Pyrogenesis at 1:25 AM on April 27, 2017 [7 favorites]
Why does this always happen?
posted by Pyrogenesis at 1:25 AM on April 27, 2017 [7 favorites]
A freind and I once invented a forgotten nation in Caucasian and made various documents and objects to "prove" its existence. It was an art project and only presented in contexts where it was obvious that it was art. Still, a surprising amount of people believed it was real.
posted by mumimor at 1:29 AM on April 27, 2017
posted by mumimor at 1:29 AM on April 27, 2017
Great, I want to make a joke about conversational geometry, am reminded that it's a Dilbert joke, am reminded of what Scott Adams became (or always was and we didn't know?) and now I'm sad.
posted by flaterik at 2:31 AM on April 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by flaterik at 2:31 AM on April 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
you feel compelled to write about it on the internet. Why? To what benefit?
Because that's how this site works. Someone shares a link and we all comment on it.
But surely, surely, they are the irrational humans. Not us. Never us.
By believing something despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, are they not the very definition of irrational?
posted by dazed_one at 4:06 AM on April 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Because that's how this site works. Someone shares a link and we all comment on it.
But surely, surely, they are the irrational humans. Not us. Never us.
By believing something despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, are they not the very definition of irrational?
posted by dazed_one at 4:06 AM on April 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Saw "Flat-Earthers" and bailed. I have enough crazy in my life these days. I don't need to bring in any more.
posted by Splunge at 8:38 AM on April 27, 2017
posted by Splunge at 8:38 AM on April 27, 2017
Holy shit, some crazy motherfucker spent too much time playing World of Warcraft and thinks that Teldrassil is real.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:15 AM on April 27, 2017
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:15 AM on April 27, 2017
The vision of the ancient, primeval Earth of flat infinite ground and monstrous celestial trees that have since been cut down is fucking awesome for a fantasy world, though. The idea of volcanoes as the chemically-reactive slag-piles of these ancient godlike industrialists is tops.
posted by Scattercat at 9:21 AM on April 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Scattercat at 9:21 AM on April 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Now I only find it depressing.
I've already told the story, here on mefi, of how at the age of 12 I discovered "Illuminatus!" by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea, and how greatly it impacted my world view (albeit with the aid of a couple of subsequent events). The conspiracy-theory view of the world was endlessly fascinating to me, intriguing and hilarious and spooky all at once.
Afterwards, however, I read "High Strangeness By Mail", by Ivan Stang, essentially a catalog of fringe organizations that you could write to in order to get on their mailing lists and have entertaining lunacy end up in your mailbox, and "Everything Is Under Control", again by RAW, an encyclopedia of actual conspiracy theories that have been put forward as genuine beliefs by various cranks and crank-related groups.
And here's the thing: when examining a sincerely believed-in conspiracy theory, stripped of satire, you never have to dig very far before you'll find a rich vein of white-supremacy, anti-Semitism, or both. Significantly less amusing, yeah? And even were that not the case...it's still kind of depressing, just on critical-thinking grounds. It's grim knowing that Alex Jones is hugely popular. And President Yam is a big fan!
So, the notion that our forests aren't forests? That the concept "forest" itself is just a trace memory of the era before the mountains were chopped down? It might make for interesting world-building, say for a video game of some kind. But I don't want to interact at all with the people who take it seriously.
posted by Ipsifendus at 9:32 AM on April 27, 2017 [6 favorites]
I've already told the story, here on mefi, of how at the age of 12 I discovered "Illuminatus!" by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea, and how greatly it impacted my world view (albeit with the aid of a couple of subsequent events). The conspiracy-theory view of the world was endlessly fascinating to me, intriguing and hilarious and spooky all at once.
Afterwards, however, I read "High Strangeness By Mail", by Ivan Stang, essentially a catalog of fringe organizations that you could write to in order to get on their mailing lists and have entertaining lunacy end up in your mailbox, and "Everything Is Under Control", again by RAW, an encyclopedia of actual conspiracy theories that have been put forward as genuine beliefs by various cranks and crank-related groups.
And here's the thing: when examining a sincerely believed-in conspiracy theory, stripped of satire, you never have to dig very far before you'll find a rich vein of white-supremacy, anti-Semitism, or both. Significantly less amusing, yeah? And even were that not the case...it's still kind of depressing, just on critical-thinking grounds. It's grim knowing that Alex Jones is hugely popular. And President Yam is a big fan!
So, the notion that our forests aren't forests? That the concept "forest" itself is just a trace memory of the era before the mountains were chopped down? It might make for interesting world-building, say for a video game of some kind. But I don't want to interact at all with the people who take it seriously.
posted by Ipsifendus at 9:32 AM on April 27, 2017 [6 favorites]
Ipsifendus, that's High Weirdness by Mail, and I still treasure my copy; it's like a relic of an age when you had to work a little to find out what the kooks were thinking.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:47 AM on April 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:47 AM on April 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
A freind and I once invented a forgotten nation in Caucasian and made various documents and objects to "prove" its existence. It was an art project and only presented in contexts where it was obvious that it was art. Still, a surprising amount of people believed it was real.
Relatedly, a comic shop we used to go to sold a bunch of "US out of Latveria" bumper stickers. We put one in our car's rear window, and got a guy screaming at us about how we were unamerican and if we didn't like the government's policies we could go live there.
According to the comic shop owner, we were not the only people who got yelled at regarding the fictional home of Doctor Doom.
In conclusion, people are kinda stupid.
posted by happyroach at 11:46 AM on April 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
Relatedly, a comic shop we used to go to sold a bunch of "US out of Latveria" bumper stickers. We put one in our car's rear window, and got a guy screaming at us about how we were unamerican and if we didn't like the government's policies we could go live there.
According to the comic shop owner, we were not the only people who got yelled at regarding the fictional home of Doctor Doom.
In conclusion, people are kinda stupid.
posted by happyroach at 11:46 AM on April 27, 2017 [1 favorite]
Flat earthism is so two-dimensional. Otoh, Hollow Earth theory offers a much more rounded look at things.
posted by cenoxo at 12:02 PM on April 27, 2017
posted by cenoxo at 12:02 PM on April 27, 2017
Wait what? I thought MeFi had previously discussed at length and agreed that the world was a cube.
posted by caution live frogs at 2:45 PM on April 27, 2017
posted by caution live frogs at 2:45 PM on April 27, 2017
And here's the thing: when examining a sincerely believed-in conspiracy theory, stripped of satire, you never have to dig very far before you'll find a rich vein of white-supremacy, anti-Semitism, or both.
Yeah, I used to love historical conspiracy theories, they were so deliciously plausible. Then I became aware that none of them are more than three steps from "the Jews did it," and all the fun went out of it. It's like discovering that your favorite childhood toy was implicated in genocide.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:23 PM on April 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I used to love historical conspiracy theories, they were so deliciously plausible. Then I became aware that none of them are more than three steps from "the Jews did it," and all the fun went out of it. It's like discovering that your favorite childhood toy was implicated in genocide.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:23 PM on April 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
What I am trying to say is that "the sleep of reason produces monsters" is not just an idle maxim. You believe one outré idea, and you risk believing all of them. Which is not too terrible when it's a couple of guys and a mimeograph, but when it ends up being even 25% of a nation...
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:27 PM on April 27, 2017
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:27 PM on April 27, 2017
Trolls. They seem to be getting the upper hand. Not just with this story, because it's nothing other than a troll having some fun, but look at what's happening all around us. Trolls everywhere. Milo. Ann. To name two.
posted by e40 at 9:23 AM on April 29, 2017
posted by e40 at 9:23 AM on April 29, 2017
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posted by thelonius at 3:42 PM on April 26, 2017 [3 favorites]