WHY DO THE CARS HAVE DOOR HANDLES?
May 16, 2017 9:47 PM Subscribe
Did they eat all the humans? Jason Torchinsky of Jalopnik asks the tough questions about Cars, like what's the purpose of school buses and why they have human language, directly to its Pixar overlords.
What do cars grill on a George Foreman grill?
What is up with the Car God?
Did autonomous cars kill us all?
Maybe they're bugs? Is it a Skynet thing? Most importantly, how did Stanley die?
thanks to the man of twists and turns
What do cars grill on a George Foreman grill?
What is up with the Car God?
Did autonomous cars kill us all?
Maybe they're bugs? Is it a Skynet thing? Most importantly, how did Stanley die?
thanks to the man of twists and turns
After your 200th viewing it ceases to be allegory and becomes reality.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:11 PM on May 16, 2017 [25 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:11 PM on May 16, 2017 [25 favorites]
The reason the cars eyes are in the windshields is to avoid the "what's behind the windshield" issue. It's in service to the story. Not a natural condition of a world that the story happens to be taking place in, because this isn't a naturalistic story, it's a pedagogical one.
"Mater! What did I tell you about getting into philosophical arguments with a theologist?"
"To not to."
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:16 PM on May 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
"Mater! What did I tell you about getting into philosophical arguments with a theologist?"
"To not to."
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:16 PM on May 16, 2017 [11 favorites]
He's said too much. I fear for this man's safety.
posted by not_the_water at 10:22 PM on May 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by not_the_water at 10:22 PM on May 16, 2017 [5 favorites]
I love that Disney PR is nervous but lets it go forward, it's kinda cute. Come on, guys, this is the kind of thing the internet in general and parents in particular adore!
I do love the movie -- honestly! It's extremely well-constructed and has a lot of good jokes for adults and holds up well on subsequent viewings -- but after 300 viewings you do start to wonder a lot about the teeth (they get their energy from fuel pumps in the side!) and the alarming obviously hand-built infrastructure and the door handles.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:43 PM on May 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
I do love the movie -- honestly! It's extremely well-constructed and has a lot of good jokes for adults and holds up well on subsequent viewings -- but after 300 viewings you do start to wonder a lot about the teeth (they get their energy from fuel pumps in the side!) and the alarming obviously hand-built infrastructure and the door handles.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:43 PM on May 16, 2017 [4 favorites]
PS, while we're in the Cars universe, Planes is a pretty bad movie with a few amusing moments (the JFK air traffic control accent), but the sequel Planes: Fire and Rescue is an excellent movie everyone should watch. It has federal register jokes! CHiPs jokes! Drinking games! A true story of early forest fire fighting!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:55 PM on May 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:55 PM on May 16, 2017 [10 favorites]
Like us, they live in a Bostromic simulation. But one of the esoteric doctrines of Bostromianism is that the deeper nested your simulation, the greater the likelihood that it will be derivative or parodic in certain respects.
Given that statistically we are likely to be in a world which is quite deeply nested, the question becomes: of what world is ours a humorous or satirical parody?
posted by Segundus at 11:36 PM on May 16, 2017 [8 favorites]
Given that statistically we are likely to be in a world which is quite deeply nested, the question becomes: of what world is ours a humorous or satirical parody?
posted by Segundus at 11:36 PM on May 16, 2017 [8 favorites]
I'm confused how you went from having viewed Cars 200 times to having viewed it 300 times in the space of 42 minutes, Eyebrows McGee. It sounds like a traumatic experience.
posted by ambrosen at 11:55 PM on May 16, 2017 [26 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 11:55 PM on May 16, 2017 [26 favorites]
How do sub-par cars exist in this world, if that’s the case? Why hasn’t their world turned into a eugenic dystopia of just the ‘ideal’ cars ruling over the less-than optimal masses? Is this a new ability? I’m so confused.
classic case of Edsel Fordism
posted by clavdivs at 12:03 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
classic case of Edsel Fordism
posted by clavdivs at 12:03 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
I love the point where the PR rep basically says "you have one minute; you can spend it continuing to list mid-engine cars if that's really what you want" and then the interview goes on like five minutes longer.
Given this guy's persistence in asking the tough questions, maybe he should be assigned to the White House Press Corps?
posted by zachlipton at 12:05 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Given this guy's persistence in asking the tough questions, maybe he should be assigned to the White House Press Corps?
posted by zachlipton at 12:05 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
not all cars have their eyes in the windshield..... and that's just add another piece of evidence that the Cars universe is the same as "Maximum Overdrive/Trucks"
http://i.imgur.com/ROQYZ.png
posted by alchemist at 1:12 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
http://i.imgur.com/ROQYZ.png
posted by alchemist at 1:12 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Cars takes place in the Toy Story universe. They are small toys that have long since been forgotten by their humans. Like original Buzz Lightyear, they are not aware they are toys.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:39 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:39 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
I just want to know why they didn't call him Mato when they released it in English-speaking countries.
posted by hawthorne at 2:16 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by hawthorne at 2:16 AM on May 17, 2017
The thing about the other Pixar films is they all feature either humans, or characters which are magically alive/sentient in the human world. Cars is the outlier - it features human-created objects alive in a world without humans. The Toy Story toys, OK they are magically alive, whatever, but toys exist in that world because humans manufacture them for kids. Why do the cars in Cars exist?
They are small toys that have long since been forgotten by their humans. Like original Buzz Lightyear, they are not aware they are toys.
Whoah. This is the first theory I've heard that makes sense and doesn't involve AI cars murdering people.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:32 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
They are small toys that have long since been forgotten by their humans. Like original Buzz Lightyear, they are not aware they are toys.
Whoah. This is the first theory I've heard that makes sense and doesn't involve AI cars murdering people.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:32 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
I can't believe that nobody has posted this anatomical postulation of Lightning McQueen.
posted by hippybear at 2:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 2:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
I do love the movie -- honestly! ... after 300 viewings
This is obviously some form of Stockholm Syndrome.
posted by hippybear at 3:36 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
This is obviously some form of Stockholm Syndrome.
posted by hippybear at 3:36 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Also, I should add Cars was the movie that broke my habit of impulsively going to every single Pixar movie opening weekend. Since I saw that movie, the only Pixar movies I've actually seen in the movie theater are WALL-E, Up, and Inside Out. And WALL-E was the only one I went to opening weekend.
So, that's how I feel about that.
posted by hippybear at 3:38 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
So, that's how I feel about that.
posted by hippybear at 3:38 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Clearly the Cars are a post singularity indulgence after those pesky humans have been exterminated. Have not seen, are there filling stations in the films? How do the automated self driving cars, ah, eat?
posted by sammyo at 3:45 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by sammyo at 3:45 AM on May 17, 2017
Through an odd coincidence I went to California Adventure only like a month after it opened, and there's a point where you're walking through the park where you turn a corner and suddenly you're walking through a real life version of a CGI version of a Red Rock Country Route 66 small town, and the effect is really sort of freaky. I'd like to experience it on acid.
Yes there are filling stations in Cars universe. Also tire stores. And a tow truck.
I mean, the world of the movie isn't what bothers me. It's the retreat-to-previous-times proto-MAGA conceit about the past. MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. (Also Lassiter says it is his most personal movie. Blargh.)
posted by hippybear at 3:50 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Yes there are filling stations in Cars universe. Also tire stores. And a tow truck.
I mean, the world of the movie isn't what bothers me. It's the retreat-to-previous-times proto-MAGA conceit about the past. MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. (Also Lassiter says it is his most personal movie. Blargh.)
posted by hippybear at 3:50 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Also, they're not "automated self driving cars". They are automotive equivalents of Warner Brothers cartoon characters, fully living and organic. I'm sure Rule 34 means... um... yeah, nevermind.
posted by hippybear at 3:52 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 3:52 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
I love how deep Torchinson has been willing to go for this - following all his linked Cars pieces got me to this, also: The People Who Play Cars on the Internet Want To Get Me Fired
posted by Mchelly at 3:56 AM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 3:56 AM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
A car Pope implies some form of automotive Catholicism.
What then, did the vehicular Martin Luther use to nail his 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenberg?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:57 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
What then, did the vehicular Martin Luther use to nail his 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenberg?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:57 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
This is obviously some form of Stockholm Syndrome.
Let's call it "Stockcar Syndrome." There's a paper in it for the right researchers, but IRB is going to be difficult.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
Let's call it "Stockcar Syndrome." There's a paper in it for the right researchers, but IRB is going to be difficult.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
I'm confused how you went from having viewed Cars 200 times to having viewed it 300 times in the space of 42 minutes, Eyebrows McGee.
TODDLERS.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [23 favorites]
TODDLERS.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [23 favorites]
The sad part is, I actually own Cars on DVD. *weeps*
posted by hippybear at 4:03 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 4:03 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
I would never make it to even 100 viewings. I would either have killed myself or gone somewhere that Owen Wilson's annoying voice could not reach, leaving any toddlers to their own devices. Thankfully, mine only watched it twice. It's a very bad movie.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:37 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:37 AM on May 17, 2017
I just came in here to say that Cars is not a good movie but as was previously mentioned up above, Planes: Fire and Rescue is a great one.
posted by Fizz at 4:40 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by Fizz at 4:40 AM on May 17, 2017
The National Film Board of Mars presents, What On Earth
posted by Jode at 5:00 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Jode at 5:00 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Basically the Lassiter movies are from an animist view of the world that there is life behind everything. Trying to interpret anything from a modern, realistic point of view is rather missing the point.
posted by empath at 5:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by empath at 5:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
In terms of Cars movie universe questions, the one I've always had was about one shot in the first film of a car with a mattress strapped to the roof. WHO IS THE MATTRESS FOR?
So I did a google image search for a screen capture of this and found that the character has his own godddamn entry on a Pixar wiki. The answer? The car uses the mattress to sleep on. BUT WHY DOES HE NEED A MATTRESS? NONE OF THE OTHER CARS NEED MATTRESSES TO SLEEP! WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
So I did a google image search for a screen capture of this and found that the character has his own godddamn entry on a Pixar wiki. The answer? The car uses the mattress to sleep on. BUT WHY DOES HE NEED A MATTRESS? NONE OF THE OTHER CARS NEED MATTRESSES TO SLEEP! WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
Needs a “beanplating” tag.
posted by acb at 6:10 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by acb at 6:10 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
I had this vision of how one day, in a normal people universe, suddenly cars started digesting their drivers, sucking them up in to their being and merging, and that's how we ended up with the Cars universe.
*shudder*
posted by Theta States at 6:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
*shudder*
posted by Theta States at 6:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
In terms of Cars movie universe questions, the one I've always had was about one shot in the first film of a car with a mattress strapped to the roof. WHO IS THE MATTRESS FOR?
The cars are like the civilisation of sexbots built by an extinct species in Charles Stross' Saturn's Children; their creators built them to serve them, programming loyalty and a desire to serve fundamentally into their psychological makeup, then were annihilated in some unspecified cataclysm. Their creations still ritualistically go through the motions of serving their long-absent masters, even as the actual meaning of their actions recedes further. Perhaps they have urban folklore about the origins of these strange rituals, which mutate as time goes on.
posted by acb at 6:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
The cars are like the civilisation of sexbots built by an extinct species in Charles Stross' Saturn's Children; their creators built them to serve them, programming loyalty and a desire to serve fundamentally into their psychological makeup, then were annihilated in some unspecified cataclysm. Their creations still ritualistically go through the motions of serving their long-absent masters, even as the actual meaning of their actions recedes further. Perhaps they have urban folklore about the origins of these strange rituals, which mutate as time goes on.
posted by acb at 6:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
I had this vision of how one day, in a normal people universe, suddenly cars started digesting their drivers, sucking them up in to their being and merging, and that's how we ended up with the Cars universe.
In a parallel universe in which Peter Weir and David Cronenburg worked together, there was a cult film made on this premise.
posted by acb at 6:15 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
In a parallel universe in which Peter Weir and David Cronenburg worked together, there was a cult film made on this premise.
posted by acb at 6:15 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
A car Pope implies some form of automotive Catholicism.
Cartholocism, surely?
posted by merriment at 6:28 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Cartholocism, surely?
posted by merriment at 6:28 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
I had this vision of how one day, in a normal people universe, suddenly cars started digesting their drivers, sucking them up in to their being and merging, and that's how we ended up with the Cars universe.
In a parallel universe in which Peter Weir and David Cronenburg worked together, there was a cult film made on this premise.
I guess my vision was pretty close, he just doesn't describe the steps in between:
In a parallel universe in which Peter Weir and David Cronenburg worked together, there was a cult film made on this premise.
I guess my vision was pretty close, he just doesn't describe the steps in between:
Imagine in the near-future when the cars keep getting smarter and smarter and after one day they just go, “Why do we need human beings anymore? They’re just slowing us down. It’s just extra weight, let’s get rid of them.” But the car takes on the personality of the last person who drove it. Whoa. There you go.posted by Theta States at 6:33 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm sure Rule 34 means... um... yeah, nevermind.
Presumably dragons are involved at some point. Buzzfeed, but don't click that at work (or with small children in your lap).
posted by bonehead at 6:33 AM on May 17, 2017
Presumably dragons are involved at some point. Buzzfeed, but don't click that at work (or with small children in your lap).
posted by bonehead at 6:33 AM on May 17, 2017
WHY DO THE CARS HAVE DOOR HANDLES?
A body part with no obvious function? It's either:
1. vestigial, like the appendix, or more interestingly
2. it exists purely for pleasure, like the clitoris.
If so, I suspect Cars are pretty bitter about the invention of keyless entry.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:52 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
A body part with no obvious function? It's either:
1. vestigial, like the appendix, or more interestingly
2. it exists purely for pleasure, like the clitoris.
If so, I suspect Cars are pretty bitter about the invention of keyless entry.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:52 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Let me know when this guy makes a cameo.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:08 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:08 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
That very thorough wiki entry includes "Occupation: A sentient truck"
posted by Wolfdog at 7:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 7:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
This guy is so dumb. In an anthropomorphised Cars universe, the windshield serves no function as there are no humans to look through it. The headlights do serve a function and the Cars use them all the time to light their way at night. Check and mate, motherfucker.
Door handles provide easy access for Doc to perform surgeries.
No I didn't watch the video, was this Pixar's answer?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:24 AM on May 17, 2017
Door handles provide easy access for Doc to perform surgeries.
No I didn't watch the video, was this Pixar's answer?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:24 AM on May 17, 2017
Also, the humans were tortured and killed by the Cars when it appeared that the peoples of the world were finally getting their shit together and moving away from fossil fuels. A cautionary tale.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ray Everham, a true NASCAR legend, is a very patient man. I love the disappointed look on his face when he finds out that Jason is from Greensboro. You can just sense this North Carolina racing legend's disappointment and disbelief that he is not from Berkeley or California but from the home of racing, NC. North Carolina? It cannot be!
posted by AugustWest at 7:55 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by AugustWest at 7:55 AM on May 17, 2017
What do cars grill on a George Foreman grill?
Roadkill?
posted by TedW at 7:59 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've speculated that the humans are there all along, we just don't see them. You seldom see your own red blood cells, but you have them and need them anyway.
posted by SPrintF at 8:18 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 8:18 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
We just need to find Car Rick. I'm sure he'll be able to explain it to us.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 8:19 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 8:19 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
This isn't Tolkien, dude. There's no Automarillion explaining the last few thousand years of car history, the evolution of their language, and the war against the Bicycles.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [10 favorites]
They are small toys that have long since been forgotten by their humans. Like original Buzz Lightyear, they are not aware they are toys.
Nah, they're totally in the WALL-E universe. In the future, self-driving cars have developed a limited form of sentience by the time the humans leave, and much like Data on Next Generation and the Emergency Medical Hologram on Voyager, they slowly develop full personalities.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:43 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Nah, they're totally in the WALL-E universe. In the future, self-driving cars have developed a limited form of sentience by the time the humans leave, and much like Data on Next Generation and the Emergency Medical Hologram on Voyager, they slowly develop full personalities.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:43 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm thinking it was a V'ger scenario, where a car meets an advanced machine lifeform that sends it on a mission to merge with its human creator.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:44 AM on May 17, 2017
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:44 AM on May 17, 2017
This isn't Tolkien, dude. There's no Automarillion explaining the last few thousand years of car history, the evolution of their language, and the war against the Bicycles.
...yet.
any way, they wouldn't be fighting against bicycles, because bicycles don't compete for their resources.
The real fight is between gas and diesel engines. Diesel vehicles in this parallel would be the neanderthals of the Cars world. They're older and larger, but there's fewer of them. I see the gasoline cars triumphing (maybe during a cold winter when the diesels have trouble starting), only to find there's no way to transport their precious fuel because all the tankers run on diesel. Perhaps the few remaining diesel vehicles are enslaved?
posted by leotrotsky at 9:01 AM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
...yet.
any way, they wouldn't be fighting against bicycles, because bicycles don't compete for their resources.
The real fight is between gas and diesel engines. Diesel vehicles in this parallel would be the neanderthals of the Cars world. They're older and larger, but there's fewer of them. I see the gasoline cars triumphing (maybe during a cold winter when the diesels have trouble starting), only to find there's no way to transport their precious fuel because all the tankers run on diesel. Perhaps the few remaining diesel vehicles are enslaved?
posted by leotrotsky at 9:01 AM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
leotrotsky - Oil is the Work of the Diesel.
posted by SPrintF at 9:41 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 9:41 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
As a fairly new inductee into the world of children's television and movies, I am so glad (again! and again and again and again!) that I live in the age of the Internet, where I can go online to share my crackpot theories about the plot holes and discontinuities and confusions that wash over me as I stare, drooling, at another episode of Peppa Pig. (Whose universe has a human Queen ruler though I have not seen other humans in the show. ??)
Blaze and the Monster Machines (which purports to teach preschoolers about science and mechanics while simultaneously breaking the laws of physics) has the sentient cars thing going on (headlights are eyes, btw), but it shares the world with humans. Blaze, the titular character, is the only Monster Machine with a human driver, AJ. It is my theory that Blaze actually has an invisible disability that requires this human driver, but they don't speak about it because they don't want to make a big deal out of it and disabilities don't hold Blaze back! Adding to my theory is that the town mechanic is also human.
Now, why Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol has chosen to rely solely on a troup of dogs and a ten-year-old boy for all their emergency services, I don't have a theory for that. But I'm happy to hear from others.
posted by aabbbiee at 9:47 AM on May 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
Blaze and the Monster Machines (which purports to teach preschoolers about science and mechanics while simultaneously breaking the laws of physics) has the sentient cars thing going on (headlights are eyes, btw), but it shares the world with humans. Blaze, the titular character, is the only Monster Machine with a human driver, AJ. It is my theory that Blaze actually has an invisible disability that requires this human driver, but they don't speak about it because they don't want to make a big deal out of it and disabilities don't hold Blaze back! Adding to my theory is that the town mechanic is also human.
Now, why Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol has chosen to rely solely on a troup of dogs and a ten-year-old boy for all their emergency services, I don't have a theory for that. But I'm happy to hear from others.
posted by aabbbiee at 9:47 AM on May 17, 2017 [9 favorites]
Now, why Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol has chosen to rely solely on a troup of dogs and a ten-year-old boy for all their emergency services, I don't have a theory for that. But I'm happy to hear from others.
Paul Ryan has had his way and that's all the budget can afford for non-essential services.
posted by Apoch at 9:50 AM on May 17, 2017 [11 favorites]
Paul Ryan has had his way and that's all the budget can afford for non-essential services.
posted by Apoch at 9:50 AM on May 17, 2017 [11 favorites]
any way, they wouldn't be fighting against bicycles
Cars exist in a state of existential war against bicycles. At least in the real world.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 11:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
Cars exist in a state of existential war against bicycles. At least in the real world.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 11:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
Maybe it is just me but the thought, suggested by Jay Ward in the video, that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the love of automobiles in youngsters is disturbing. Why would this even be necessary?
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:54 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:54 AM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Now, why Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol has chosen to rely solely on a troup of dogs and a ten-year-old boy for all their emergency service
Yes, that doesn't seem right. There has to be a Yo Kai involved.
posted by w0mbat at 2:06 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Yes, that doesn't seem right. There has to be a Yo Kai involved.
posted by w0mbat at 2:06 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Now, why Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol has chosen to rely solely on a troup of dogs and a ten-year-old boy for all their emergency services, I don't have a theory for that."
I reserve my most intense theorizing for vehicular shows, like the economy of Thomas the Tank Engine and the absolute horror movie that is Bob the Builder -- why are these people all so relaxed about the fact that there are 10-ton sentient trucks rolling around town who are possessed by toddlers and have the decision-making abilities of same??? Who constantly decide to "help" and "fix things" and then destroy them? Whose "parents" Bob and Wendy who are nominally responsible for them are constantly letting them run off on their own to wreak havoc? WHY IS NOBODY BOTHERED BY THE POSSESSED TODDLER TRUCKS?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
I reserve my most intense theorizing for vehicular shows, like the economy of Thomas the Tank Engine and the absolute horror movie that is Bob the Builder -- why are these people all so relaxed about the fact that there are 10-ton sentient trucks rolling around town who are possessed by toddlers and have the decision-making abilities of same??? Who constantly decide to "help" and "fix things" and then destroy them? Whose "parents" Bob and Wendy who are nominally responsible for them are constantly letting them run off on their own to wreak havoc? WHY IS NOBODY BOTHERED BY THE POSSESSED TODDLER TRUCKS?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Can we talking about the sociopolitical system in The Lion Guard which appears to be a police state run by children?
posted by empath at 6:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by empath at 6:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Well if we're on the subject of issues with all cartoons, there's still one of the oldest and most disturbing questions of all: Why can Goofy talk, but Pluto can't?
posted by Mchelly at 6:08 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 6:08 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
"oldest and most disturbing questions of all: Why can Goofy talk, but Pluto can't?"
Dude. You gotta watch Oswald the Octopus (preferably while in an altered state). There's a flower that can talk but a hotdog-dog that can't; a walking, talking tree with a pet (non-speaking) woodpecker who pecks him constantly; the main character is an octopus voiced by Fred Savage ... basically someone on an acid trip was allow to make a show for two-year-olds and it is splendid but also BIZARRE.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:39 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Dude. You gotta watch Oswald the Octopus (preferably while in an altered state). There's a flower that can talk but a hotdog-dog that can't; a walking, talking tree with a pet (non-speaking) woodpecker who pecks him constantly; the main character is an octopus voiced by Fred Savage ... basically someone on an acid trip was allow to make a show for two-year-olds and it is splendid but also BIZARRE.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:39 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
A while back, probably on the nth viewing for my son, I began thinking on similar lines.
I'm going with very far future AI living on earth, who've decided to re-create the golden era of humanity, not by pretending to be human (Saturn's Children) but by imitating the loves and obsessions of those extinct meat-bags. Maybe they watched Bullitt too many times.
This makes a lot more sense, kind of as a theme park that the participants got too deep into.
I hate that I've thought about it this much.
posted by temancl at 10:06 PM on May 17, 2017
I'm going with very far future AI living on earth, who've decided to re-create the golden era of humanity, not by pretending to be human (Saturn's Children) but by imitating the loves and obsessions of those extinct meat-bags. Maybe they watched Bullitt too many times.
This makes a lot more sense, kind of as a theme park that the participants got too deep into.
I hate that I've thought about it this much.
posted by temancl at 10:06 PM on May 17, 2017
Ok, now that we'be devolved into the logical holes of TV programming for 3 year olds, here is the ultimate: why have the people of Pontypandy not killed Norman yet? He is literally responsible for every emergency service activity in Pondypandy and likely most of the cities' tax expenditure. And with behavior like that, he is vey likely to die in the not distant future.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:18 AM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:18 AM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Everyone repeat to yourself "It's just a show, I should really just relax."
posted by TedW at 4:35 AM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 4:35 AM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Maybe it is just me but the thought, suggested by Jay Ward in the video, that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the love of automobiles in youngsters is disturbing. Why would this even be necessary?
I know it's not a popular opinion on Metafilter, but some of us actually like and enjoy cars. I enjoy driving. I enjoy the classic car shows that happen in the summer time.
Reposting/rephrasing an older post of mine from previously:
If you are not a fan of automobiles and automobile design and culture, there are many, many details and references that you're missing in Cars. There's an entire layer of the movie that's invisible to you.
Cars was made for those of us who love automobiles, car culture, classic cars and road trips through small towns.
For instance, the neon lights on top of the awnings of Flo's V8 Cafe blink in the order that a V8 engine's pistons move. The mountain range above Radiator Springs looks like the Cadillac Ranch.
One of the best vacations my wife and I have shared was a road trip down the west coast, through the Redwood Forest, and along the Pacific Coast Highway. We stopped in many of the little towns with tacky signs, and ate at the local diners. It was lots of fun and we both remember it fondly. We both enjoy watching Cars because it reminds us of that.
The "Our town" montage in the middle of the movie hits my wife in the feels because she grew up in a small town, and her parents still live there. She has witnessed exactly the sort of decline in her home town that is shown in Cars.
And yeah, the movie contains some stereotypes. Ramone, for instance, is a low-rider with a mexican accent who does custom paint jobs. Luigi is a Fiat 500 who has an Italian accent and loves Ferraris. On the other hand, they are shown to be valuable members of the community who take pride in their stores and their work, and help Lightning McQueen to realize how important it is to have friends who rely on each other and be part of a diverse community that cares for each other.
Finally, having my son growing into a busy and joyful little boy has given me a newfound love of Cars. I recently handed down to him my old late-70s Hot Wheels Rally Case full of my favorite cars from my childhood, and he was thrilled. His first "big boy" toddler bed is a race car, and we have Cars decals on the walls of his room.
One of his favorite books is Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go.
Anyway, all of this is not to tell any of you that you're wrong for not liking Cars, it's just to add perspective to the thread. Some of us really do have feels for Cars.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:23 AM on May 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I know it's not a popular opinion on Metafilter, but some of us actually like and enjoy cars. I enjoy driving. I enjoy the classic car shows that happen in the summer time.
Reposting/rephrasing an older post of mine from previously:
If you are not a fan of automobiles and automobile design and culture, there are many, many details and references that you're missing in Cars. There's an entire layer of the movie that's invisible to you.
Cars was made for those of us who love automobiles, car culture, classic cars and road trips through small towns.
For instance, the neon lights on top of the awnings of Flo's V8 Cafe blink in the order that a V8 engine's pistons move. The mountain range above Radiator Springs looks like the Cadillac Ranch.
One of the best vacations my wife and I have shared was a road trip down the west coast, through the Redwood Forest, and along the Pacific Coast Highway. We stopped in many of the little towns with tacky signs, and ate at the local diners. It was lots of fun and we both remember it fondly. We both enjoy watching Cars because it reminds us of that.
The "Our town" montage in the middle of the movie hits my wife in the feels because she grew up in a small town, and her parents still live there. She has witnessed exactly the sort of decline in her home town that is shown in Cars.
And yeah, the movie contains some stereotypes. Ramone, for instance, is a low-rider with a mexican accent who does custom paint jobs. Luigi is a Fiat 500 who has an Italian accent and loves Ferraris. On the other hand, they are shown to be valuable members of the community who take pride in their stores and their work, and help Lightning McQueen to realize how important it is to have friends who rely on each other and be part of a diverse community that cares for each other.
Finally, having my son growing into a busy and joyful little boy has given me a newfound love of Cars. I recently handed down to him my old late-70s Hot Wheels Rally Case full of my favorite cars from my childhood, and he was thrilled. His first "big boy" toddler bed is a race car, and we have Cars decals on the walls of his room.
One of his favorite books is Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go.
Anyway, all of this is not to tell any of you that you're wrong for not liking Cars, it's just to add perspective to the thread. Some of us really do have feels for Cars.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:23 AM on May 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
- Maybe it is just me but the thought, suggested by Jay Ward in the video, that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the love of automobiles in youngsters is disturbing. Why would this even be necessary?
- I know it's not a popular opinion on Metafilter, but some of us actually like and enjoy cars.
What Ward is really saying is that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the spending of parents' money on Cars-themed cars (and other merchandise) for children.
posted by aabbbiee at 8:12 AM on May 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
Jay Ward works for Pixar, not Disney's merchandising wing. I know Disney loves to shovel its merch and it certainly will with Cars 3 coming up, but I don't see the need to cynically suggest ulterior motives for the guy who works in the art department at Pixar.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:27 AM on May 18, 2017
posted by Fleebnork at 9:27 AM on May 18, 2017
For more reference, here's an interview with Jay Ward. He's a guy who really does love cars.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:35 AM on May 18, 2017
posted by Fleebnork at 9:35 AM on May 18, 2017
It is a fact (not cynicism) that the reason that there are two Cars sequels is that Disney/Pixar has been insanely, insanely successful with Cars licensing and merchandise. They had grossed more than $11 billion on global merchandising before even the first sequel came out in 2011, at the time second only to Star Wars.
posted by aabbbiee at 12:42 PM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by aabbbiee at 12:42 PM on May 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm not ignorant of the merchandising, which I acknowledged in my previous post.
The cynicism is in your previous statement: "What Ward is really saying is that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the spending of parents' money on Cars-themed cars (and other merchandise) for children."
What Ward is really saying.
There's no reason to accuse one guy in Pixar's art department for pushing the corporate merchandising agenda. Disney is a huge company that has a whole separate division that deals with that stuff, you know?
Jay Ward is a guy who really likes cars, and drawing cars and animating cars. It really doesn't have to be any more insidious than that.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:32 AM on May 19, 2017
The cynicism is in your previous statement: "What Ward is really saying is that part of the point of the Cars series is to foster the spending of parents' money on Cars-themed cars (and other merchandise) for children."
What Ward is really saying.
There's no reason to accuse one guy in Pixar's art department for pushing the corporate merchandising agenda. Disney is a huge company that has a whole separate division that deals with that stuff, you know?
Jay Ward is a guy who really likes cars, and drawing cars and animating cars. It really doesn't have to be any more insidious than that.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:32 AM on May 19, 2017
Look, I don't want to fight about Cars. (I mean, I would love to sit around a firepit tonight and have a jokey fight about the Cars universe while we all get tipsy on various types of alcohol, but I really do not want to actually have a serious argument about Cars with you here in this thread.)
My first response to you was an attempt to explain that you seemed to be misreading the comment you were originally posting about. I am not that commenter, so I do not know for sure, so now I'm going to back out of here and not return.
posted by aabbbiee at 6:49 AM on May 19, 2017
My first response to you was an attempt to explain that you seemed to be misreading the comment you were originally posting about. I am not that commenter, so I do not know for sure, so now I'm going to back out of here and not return.
posted by aabbbiee at 6:49 AM on May 19, 2017
I think the marketing issue is a bit of a derail. Any artist working for an entertainment company would be happy to have their creations aimed at children be popular enough to have toys (and etc.) made for them. I don't think there is much of a conspiracy there. They are businesses afterall.
My point that I'm trying to make is that in North America there is already a heavy marketing of vehicular characters to children, they live in a culture that has a very pervasive & imbalanced car-centric culture and in many cases they live in communities which are impossible to walk in so the default mode of traveling is via car. It seems strange to me that there needs to be additional propaganda that would ensure children should love cars. I'm not saying it is wrong to like Cars (the movie and the actual technology) it just strikes me as a bit questionable to feel the need to get children to like cars more than they already do. I hope that clarifies.
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:45 AM on May 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
My point that I'm trying to make is that in North America there is already a heavy marketing of vehicular characters to children, they live in a culture that has a very pervasive & imbalanced car-centric culture and in many cases they live in communities which are impossible to walk in so the default mode of traveling is via car. It seems strange to me that there needs to be additional propaganda that would ensure children should love cars. I'm not saying it is wrong to like Cars (the movie and the actual technology) it just strikes me as a bit questionable to feel the need to get children to like cars more than they already do. I hope that clarifies.
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:45 AM on May 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
It seems strange to me that there needs to be additional propaganda that would ensure children should love cars. I'm not saying it is wrong to like Cars (the movie and the actual technology) it just strikes me as a bit questionable to feel the need to get children to like cars more than they already do. I hope that clarifies.
No, I get what you're saying, I just think maybe you don't understand where Ward is coming from. I mean, if you're not interested in automobiles beyond their transportation function, maybe it seems weird. It's ok, we don't all geek out over the same things.
He's a "car guy" who owns and restores old cars and organizes the "Motorama" car show for Pixar employees and their families. He just really, really geeks out about cars.
It's not about pushing children to like cars more than usual, it's just Ward talking about directing his passion for automobiles and their design and history into his work. It's some extra effort put into details in the movies that probably goes over kids' heads anyway, but Ward feels that he is sharing something he loves.
It's nothing sinister, he's just a car geek who is geekin' out while making movies about cars.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:11 AM on May 19, 2017
No, I get what you're saying, I just think maybe you don't understand where Ward is coming from. I mean, if you're not interested in automobiles beyond their transportation function, maybe it seems weird. It's ok, we don't all geek out over the same things.
He's a "car guy" who owns and restores old cars and organizes the "Motorama" car show for Pixar employees and their families. He just really, really geeks out about cars.
It's not about pushing children to like cars more than usual, it's just Ward talking about directing his passion for automobiles and their design and history into his work. It's some extra effort put into details in the movies that probably goes over kids' heads anyway, but Ward feels that he is sharing something he loves.
It's nothing sinister, he's just a car geek who is geekin' out while making movies about cars.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:11 AM on May 19, 2017
I just think maybe you don't understand where Ward is coming from.
Sure I'll admit to not understanding that perspective and frankly car culture in general. I guess what I don't get it, because for me while I can appreciate a person's interest in the engineering or the artistry of a car or even the thrill of the driving, it is hard for me to separate the other problematic issues that are inseparably linked with the automobile. I don't feel it is sinister, Jay Ward seems sincere in his love of cars, and geeking out or not I just would prefer that the car proselytizing to not be goal of a children's film. But I feel that way about most things when it comes children's programming and like Jason Torchinsky it's hard for my brain not to ask those questions.
FWIW, I do get that a movie about bicycles would likely be insufferable.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:37 AM on May 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sure I'll admit to not understanding that perspective and frankly car culture in general. I guess what I don't get it, because for me while I can appreciate a person's interest in the engineering or the artistry of a car or even the thrill of the driving, it is hard for me to separate the other problematic issues that are inseparably linked with the automobile. I don't feel it is sinister, Jay Ward seems sincere in his love of cars, and geeking out or not I just would prefer that the car proselytizing to not be goal of a children's film. But I feel that way about most things when it comes children's programming and like Jason Torchinsky it's hard for my brain not to ask those questions.
FWIW, I do get that a movie about bicycles would likely be insufferable.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:37 AM on May 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:56 PM on May 16, 2017 [1 favorite]