Come in Rose Gold, Space Grey, and Recyclable
May 19, 2017 11:39 AM   Subscribe

 
I don't think it will be very hard to get one if you ask someone nicely.
posted by GuyZero at 11:43 AM on May 19 [3 favorites]


I'm going to have to disagree with him about the best pizza box. The best pizza box is the one that says:

PIZZA
[picture of a crown]
A SYMBOL
OF QUALITY

because on it, it says:

PIZZA
[picture of a crown]
A SYMBOL
OF QUALITY

There's one right off his left shoulder in the last picture, so I know he knows about it.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:15 PM on May 19 [6 favorites]


Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.
posted by turkeybrain at 12:31 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


PIZZA
[picture of a crown]
A SYMBOL
OF QUALITY


Nonsense. Everyone knows it's not a real pizza box unless it has an offensive stereotype cartoon Italian chef on it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:37 PM on May 19 [16 favorites]


Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.

I expect they're now in discarded plastic widget heaven, wearing little halos made from the pull rings of fancy milk cartons.
posted by zamboni at 12:42 PM on May 19 [11 favorites]


Posting in advance:
Metafilter: You've tried the rest, now try the best.
posted by DanSachs at 12:43 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


Re: his pizza box collection: "Any piece of ephemera says so much about the culture — it says something about the food itself."

Umm...yeah, it says "A pizza was delivered in this container." I suppose it says something about the culture as well, like "We like having pizza delivered."
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:43 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


Previously on MetaFitler, "The History of the Pizza Box"
posted by ShooBoo at 12:47 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


I am of the vintage that I fondly recall a certain chain that put the pie on a cake round and put that inside a paper tent w/ staples down the side.
posted by shockingbluamp at 12:47 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]


I have an ultra-rare variant

PIZZA
[picture of a clown]
A SYMBOL
OF QUALITY

it's worth at least three times as much as the other one
posted by komara at 12:49 PM on May 19 [5 favorites]


🍕🤡🏆
posted by komara at 12:51 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


That pizza box that turns into plates and a storage container is GENIUS. I could avoid running the dishwasher for days, maybe weeks!
posted by nicebookrack at 12:51 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


For a pizza box aficionado, he seemed to make an obvious error in critiquing the stackability of these rounds prior to being used. They are probably stackable when blanks, because they can be opened and nested inside each other. You could have a nested stack of several hundred, similar to stacked paper plates, which have no problem stacking neatly and taking up little space.

And another benefit: when they are stacked as blanks, they are already assembled. So there is no intervening folding/assembly required to render the blanks usable.

I scoff at his pizza box fu.
posted by darkstar at 1:02 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


I think he just means when a delivery guy is trying to carry more than 2 or 3, they won't stack nicely and will begin to slide off-center.

Then again, this is Apple. There might be hidden magnets with opposing polarities in the lid and base.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:06 PM on May 19 [5 favorites]


I was about to comment further on this pizza box, but I realized it is an almost textbook case of beanplating. Pizzaboxing might be even worse, as there is no actual pizza involved.

You got me again, MetaFilter. You got me again.
posted by darkstar at 1:15 PM on May 19 [6 favorites]


I have eaten many a pizza out of that Apple designed box. The Google colored china plates bring back better memories.
posted by w0mbat at 1:17 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.

Have you checked the North Pacific Ocean?
posted by carter at 1:18 PM on May 19 [9 favorites]


> I suppose it says something about the culture as well, like "We like having pizza delivered."

But that may be the most important thing to know about our culture.
posted by languagehat at 1:19 PM on May 19 [10 favorites]


Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.
They are called a 'box tent'. Impress your friends at the next pizza party.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:24 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]


I much prefer 'little anti-crush plastic tables' over 'box tent'.
posted by brokeaspoke at 1:28 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


I work from home Los Angeles, but when I had an office up north (Results Way Represent!), I ate many a pizza out of these boxes.

I find it incredible that people are so excited about the boxes, that they are specific to Apple, or that it was some sort of secret.

While the Macs Caffe's aren't public, employee guests can get into almost all of them. In fact, because certain Engineering groups get free dinner after 7pm, hundreds of families eat dinner at Infinite Loop 4 every day. There is nothing hidden about the boxes.

Hell, if this story broke last week, I would have picked one up for him as I was up in Cupertino.

For a pizza box aficionado, he seemed to make an obvious error in critiquing the stackability of these rounds prior to being used. They are probably stackable when blanks, because they can be opened and nested inside each other. You could have a nested stack of several hundred, similar to stacked paper plates, which have no problem stacking neatly and taking up little space

Yeah, they are stored open in stacks of a hundred or so. When the next pizza is done, it gets thrown into a box and the lid is closed.
posted by sideshow at 1:36 PM on May 19 [6 favorites]



Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.

I expect they're now in discarded plastic widget heaven, wearing little halos made from the pull rings of fancy milk cartons.


That's a damn dirty shame. How else am I supposed to indicate that my RPG character miniature is flying without spending $30 on a 3D printed widget?
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:49 PM on May 19 [6 favorites]


I scoff at his pizza box fu.

Was just going to post this. The only pizzeria-usability-issue I see is that the odd shape and material choice mean that you can't put your logo on them easily. You could pad print them or emboss/deboss a logo in the material but they're not going to run through a press and the vents mean you can't sticker them.
posted by nathan_teske at 2:20 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


They are called a 'box tent'

But it's not a tent. A tent pole maybe, but it does not shelter or cover the box in any way.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:30 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


Wonder if he collects the little anti-crush plastic tables, too. I don't see them any more.

They are called a 'box tent'.


We're talking about the same things, right? The Barbie patio furniture?
posted by rokusan at 2:42 PM on May 19 [7 favorites]


I think he just means when a delivery guy is trying to carry more than 2 or 3, they won't stack nicely and will begin to slide off-center.

Then again, this is Apple. There might be hidden magnets with opposing polarities in the lid and base.


In Apple's use case, I assume the vast majority of the time it'll be used by a single person to take their pizza back to their desk. Thus, it doesn't really matter whether the boxes, when closed, stack up nicely or not.
posted by gyc at 2:44 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


But it's not a tent. A tent pole maybe, but it does not shelter or cover the box in any way.

It was meant to be a 1-foot-radius waterproof pizza box shelter, but there was an unfortunate unit error in the blueprint.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 2:48 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]


MetaFilter: You got me again, MetaFilter: You got me again. You got me again.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:01 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


Ah, the days when a company patents a box, used entirely in-house, basically out of spite, I guess so other companies don't get any wise ideas of offering non-soggy take-to-your-office pizza for their employees.
posted by JHarris at 3:25 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


basically out of spite

All these companies have employee bonus programs related to submitting patent proposals so it's less spite than a free $500 or $1000.
posted by GuyZero at 3:30 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]


It was meant to be a 1-foot-radius waterproof pizza box shelter, but there was an unfortunate unit error in the blueprint.

I do not think that was the problem. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
posted by rokusan at 4:15 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]




Says something about the anticipated mtbf for the average Apple engineer.
posted by bonehead at 4:46 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]


I thought this article was going to be about servers and I am the opposite of disappointed.
posted by bendy at 4:51 PM on May 19


ckape, Apple used to have child care. My daughters both attended it. It was wonderful. It went away as the company was failing.

When Steve Jobs came back and saved the company from oblivion, he could care less about family issues like that. I have never seen a discussion about bringing childcare back to an Apple building.

The pizza boxes stack open when not yet used. They work as designed. You can get your thin crust pizza back to your office without it being a soggy mess.

At least some of pizza ovens are gas now. The one at Infinite Loop 4 used to be wood fired.
posted by blob at 5:55 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]


I ordered a pizza in Leipzig this one time and it came in a box that had two ways to open it, conveniently marked with the German for "left-handed" and "right-handed".

That was the best pizza box.
posted by lollusc at 7:23 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]


This is adorable
posted by bq at 7:29 PM on May 19


All these companies have employee bonus programs related to submitting patent proposals so it's less spite than a free $500 or $1000.

Yeah, but then someone at the company had to approve spending $12k to $15k for the drafting, filing, and prosecution of said patent application.
posted by Existential Dread at 2:51 PM on May 20


Apple doesn't give a shit about your crude dollars. Patents are valueable. Ignore costs, file patent applications.
posted by GuyZero at 2:59 PM on May 20


Re: his pizza box collection: "Any piece of ephemera says so much about the culture — it says something about the food itself."

Umm...yeah, it says "A pizza was delivered in this container." I suppose it says something about the culture as well, like "We like having pizza delivered."


Snark all you like, but I think writing about pizza boxes is a great idea! What does it say about the pizzeria that chooses the generic pizza box vs. the one that pays for a custom one? If they use the pizza box as a place to put marketing info, what does that say about entrepreneurship in restaurants? What about the artwork -- we expect the stereotypical Italian chef on so many pizza boxes, but sometimes it's just an Italian flag, sometimes it's saying New Haven style pizza is better than Chicago pizza. That's linked to the history of Italian immigration and ethnic identity (and stereotyping) in American history. It's linked to regionalism. It speaks to the global exporting and transformation of cultural products -- the pizza box in Germany with the instructions for lefties exists because of a history of cultural exchange and globalization that runs through the past hundred+ years of global politics, migration, and commerce.

What does it say about the culture where you can buy that ridiculously huge pizza from a company that is obviously very proud of their ridiculously huge pizzas (note the box behind the guy in the last picture in the article)? Surely it's not incidental that it's "GIANT SICILIAN" -- why giant Sicilian? Why not Neapolitan?

There's also the manufacturing chain -- where are these pizza boxes being made? Some factory in New York? Some factory in China? Your Saturday night pizza delivery is the product of global commerce, from the tomatoes grown in Mexico (or imported from Italy, if it's a high end place) to the mass-produced paper boxes that may have traveled 12,000 miles before they wound up in the local pizza place that you're calling because you're too stoned (off weed that was legally purchased but grown, illegally, in a national park in California) to make dinner from scratch.

Apple's custom pizza box is unquestionably a kind of status symbol, where this company is able to have an exclusive kind of pizza box, of all things, for its employees and their families. There's the technology behind it that keeps the pizza from getting soggy, but even that is its own kind of status symbol -- and it's symbolic of Apple's success, or arrogance, or however you want to see it, that they're able to engineer this seemingly-insignificant thing just for themselves.

I'm totally serious, and also probably not fun to be around, but pizza boxes are interesting in the same way that ceramic stamps and designs are -- they reflect history and culture in ways that aren't always immediately obvious, and the fact that they're so ubiquitous makes them a fantastic lens on food in society. Pizza is this amazing food that everyone takes for granted as being just pizza, but it, and the box it comes in, really says so much about history and about what we value today.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:37 PM on May 20 [12 favorites]


shapes that haunt the dusk's comment is sidebar-worthy.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:03 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]


Umm...yeah, it says "A pizza was delivered in this container."

The size of the box says something about how many people generally, or at least ideally, eat together at a meal, knowing their calorie intake; or conversely it tells you something about their calorie intake knowing something about the number of people who eat together at a meal. The construction of the box and its insulating properties tells you something about the amount of time and distance over which the box was delivered. The physical design of the box can tell you something about the handling methods and the materials-vs-labor tradeoffs involved in the economy that produced it. The materials in the box itself gives you some information about the supply chains that gave fed raw materials into the economy that produced it. The dyes and pigments also point to the expertise over chemistry and the relative preference and cost of input chemicals by the underlying culture.

Most pizza boxes also have date codes, giving you an idea of when they were produced. Someday they might be used as calibration targets for 14C dating in place of tree rings (trees and other photosynthetic organisms have a maximum efficiency range up to around 68F and slow down as the temperature increases, so as we continue to cook the planet it will affect the ability of any other intelligences that may come along later to calibrate such measurements, or rather it might give them a baseline by which to measure the degree to which we annihilated ourselves via temperature effects).

It also suggests that we liked pizza, and therefore we considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
posted by Kadin2048 at 5:08 PM on May 21 [1 favorite]


That assumes that distant future generations will hold pizza in the same exalted status that we do.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:14 PM on May 21


Well, I'm an optimistic futurist. I think it's likely that we'll exterminate ourselves, or at least dramatically curtail our population, and that there will probably be long periods where the dead will go unburied for lack of enough people to shovel the bodies into the ground.

But I have never questioned that our descendants, however much they may envy the dead, will question the superiority of pizza.
posted by Kadin2048 at 5:19 PM on May 21


« Older “Lightly pull trigger until cheese extrudes from...   |   too big to be a planned experiment Newer »


You are not currently logged in. Log in or create a new account to post comments.