Trouble afoot
June 20, 2017 2:36 PM   Subscribe

The toe has gone missing before, after being swallowed by a patron, prompting the hotel to ask donors to step up (previously). But this time, Dawson City, Yukon's Downtown Hotel has reported that the key ingredient in its sourtoe cocktail (also previously) has been stolen. According to the Times Colonist: "Hotel manager Geri Colbourne says a couple came in late that night and requested the unique drink but the waitress was called away after pouring two shots. The toe was gone when she returned."
posted by mandolin conspiracy (59 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ew.
posted by leotrotsky at 2:41 PM on June 20, 2017 [5 favorites]


How does that get by the food safety inspection?
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 2:44 PM on June 20, 2017 [4 favorites]


They've been trying to get the proprietors to toe the line for years...
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:48 PM on June 20, 2017 [2 favorites]


Props for having a stash of backup toes, presumably obtained from Walter Sobchak.
posted by tonycpsu at 2:51 PM on June 20, 2017 [16 favorites]


well I'm stumped.
posted by shockingbluamp at 2:51 PM on June 20, 2017 [9 favorites]


“Toes are very hard to come by,” added Lee.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...
posted by aureliobuendia at 2:52 PM on June 20, 2017 [44 favorites]


Toes are very hard to come by

Ooh, kinky!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:53 PM on June 20, 2017 [4 favorites]


How does that get by the food safety inspection?

A thorough soaking in alcohol?
posted by Artw at 2:53 PM on June 20, 2017 [5 favorites]


The good news is that thefts in Dawson City are in the single digits.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:53 PM on June 20, 2017 [100 favorites]


Thanks for spoiling my "well there goes the digital economy" gag!
posted by howfar at 2:57 PM on June 20, 2017 [14 favorites]


aureliobuendia's response is perfect. Thread's over, dude. :-]
posted by zuhl at 2:58 PM on June 20, 2017


But I still want to know where the "backup toes" came from!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 3:06 PM on June 20, 2017 [2 favorites]


They could replace it with a camel toe, but someone would probably snatch that too.
posted by Kabanos at 3:14 PM on June 20, 2017 [23 favorites]


Yet another thing that I can't even.
posted by Splunge at 3:24 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


But I still want to know where the "backup toes" came from!

I don't know for sure, but I bet the answer is feet.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:27 PM on June 20, 2017 [14 favorites]


I was gonna say "Toecutter."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:28 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


I rescinded my offer to donate mine upon death after they rejected my cocktail recipe for the 'Velvet Hammertoe'.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:05 PM on June 20, 2017 [3 favorites]


Dawson City is the closest we have to a real goldrush town in this day and age.


Fucking Wu will get you a toe. Just wait until one of those Yankton cocksuckers shows up again and Wu will get you your fucking toe. The primary obstacle to your fucking objective will be making sure Wu don't feed it to his hogs first.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:10 PM on June 20, 2017 [3 favorites]


They get donated toes from people who are looking at amputation. Or so they claim. They may just hire an SFX person to make one. I'm thinking of adding the sour toe cocktail to my home bar, and that's how I'd do it.
posted by maxsparber at 4:10 PM on June 20, 2017


I mean, it's basically a garnish, right?
posted by Artw at 4:12 PM on June 20, 2017


I... they put a... but why would you... I just... ew.
posted by sarcasticah at 4:15 PM on June 20, 2017 [6 favorites]


CBC's As It Happens was on the case tonight...no online audio or transcript yet. Will keep an eye out.

Also, video of the last toe disappearance from 2013 [Warning: toe swallowing]:

Video: Watch the Yukon toe swallower in action
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:44 PM on June 20, 2017


I mean, it's basically a garnish, right?

ITYM garish.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:51 PM on June 20, 2017 [2 favorites]


Whatever happened to Freck? He could have supplied some toes.
posted by TedW at 5:26 PM on June 20, 2017


The toe is practically a protected heritage site for Canada. I say national lotto to replace the toe. "Donor" gets a Canada 150 pin.
posted by chapps at 5:48 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


Perhaps they left it parked in a toe-away zone.
posted by Hot Pastrami! at 5:57 PM on June 20, 2017 [9 favorites]


it's obvious to me there's no pedicure for alcoholism
posted by pyramid termite at 6:11 PM on June 20, 2017 [5 favorites]


Who will bring them a new one? The toe truck, of course!
posted by TedW at 6:39 PM on June 20, 2017 [6 favorites]


Better(?) version: If they need another one, can't they just call the toe truck?
posted by TedW at 6:45 PM on June 20, 2017 [2 favorites]


"There are strange things done in the midnight sun and the sourtoe is one of those things," said Robitaille, who previously worked as a "captain" serving the sourtoe cocktail.

Nice Robert Service reference.
posted by TedW at 6:50 PM on June 20, 2017 [6 favorites]


I'd do a shot of it.

With a beer chaser. lots of beer chasers.
posted by jonmc at 6:55 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


A few beer chasers first would probably help too
posted by TedW at 6:57 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


Troo Dat, TedW
posted by jonmc at 6:58 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]


They get donated toes from people who are looking at amputation. Or so they claim.

So... diseased toes? On top of all the other horror?
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:01 PM on June 20, 2017 [2 favorites]


Once a toe comes off, diseased or healthy, it goes bad pretty fast.
posted by maxsparber at 7:03 PM on June 20, 2017


The last one was mummified for preservation, at least.
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:51 PM on June 20, 2017


It didn't just walk off on its own; that's for sure.
posted by mbrubeck at 9:08 PM on June 20, 2017 [7 favorites]


THE ENTIRE ARTICLE DIDN'T SAY WHOSE TOE IT IS THAT WAS STOLEN WHY
posted by agregoli at 5:57 AM on June 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Some toerag's got it.
posted by Segundus at 6:28 AM on June 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


The big piggy went to the market. Duh.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:47 AM on June 21, 2017 [3 favorites]


@sourtoecocktail would appear to be the official Twitter feed for it.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:48 AM on June 21, 2017


Wow! I thought that in my 22 years surfing the Internet, I had lost the ability to ever be truly shocked by anything again. I have been proven wrong just now. So, kudos?¿? to the OP.
posted by pony707 at 7:05 AM on June 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


My favorite story about Dawson City is about just how often the whole town burned down. According to Wikipedia:
The newly built town proved highly vulnerable to fire. [...] The first major fire occurred on November 25, 1897, started accidentally by dance-hall girl Belle Mitchell. She also accidentally started a second major fire on October 14, 1898 which, in the absence of a fire brigade in Dawson, destroyed two major saloons, the post-office building and the Bank of British North America at a cost of $500,000 ($400 million).
I really wanted the next sentence, which started with "The worst fire" to end with "was also caused by Belle Mitchell" but unfortunately the Wiki doesn't specify how it started.

Apparently Belle Mitchell had a habit of throwing oil lamps when she was angry and was called "Coal Oil Belle". She also burned her own house down by throwing an oil lamp at one point.

Belle Mitchell is my hero, basically.
posted by suddenly, and without warning, at 7:55 AM on June 21, 2017 [10 favorites]


This is delightful.

I wonder how, exactly, one signs up for whole body donation except for the toes which have to be sent to a specific bar in Yukon. It seems a waste to do otherwise.
posted by eotvos at 12:48 PM on June 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


No Flaming Toe?

Toe Gin Fizz?
posted by ian1977 at 6:34 PM on June 21, 2017 [2 favorites]


Toequila Sunrise?
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:41 PM on June 21, 2017 [3 favorites]


Martoeni?

Mai Toe?
posted by ian1977 at 9:56 PM on June 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


No wait.


Toe Collins.
posted by ian1977 at 9:56 PM on June 21, 2017 [1 favorite]


Gin and Toenic
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:43 PM on June 21, 2017 [3 favorites]


Or Mojitoe, if one prefers rum
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:44 PM on June 21, 2017 [4 favorites]


Although there are those who favor a Long Island Iced Toe
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:46 PM on June 21, 2017 [1 favorite]




Pimm's Shoe
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:21 AM on June 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


Nothing for the teetoetalers?
posted by Kabanos at 11:32 AM on June 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


A Shirley Toemple, perhaps?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:44 AM on June 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


Daniel Roher is a Canadian friend of mine who made a movie about this.
posted by DesbaratsDays at 12:06 PM on June 22, 2017 [3 favorites]


I am pleased to report that the toe has been returned!
On Tuesday afternoon, June 20th, Dawson City RCMP received a phone call from the alleged suspect, stating that he had placed the toe in the mail, addressed to the Downtown Hotel. The man then called the Downtown Hotel and provided the same message to staff, along with a verbal apology.

Earlier today, on Thursday, June 22nd, the expected package was received. To ensure the package was safe to open, Corporal Jeff Myke from Dawson City RCMP attended the location to open it.

Located inside the package was an apology letter, as well as the stolen toe.
posted by zachlipton at 9:08 PM on June 22, 2017 [7 favorites]


The mounties always get their man nail their toe.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:43 AM on June 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


Located inside the package was an apology letter, as well as the stolen toe.

This is just to say

I have taken
the toe
that was in
the shot glass

and which
you were probably
saving
for cocktails

Forgive me
it was mummified
sans feet
and so old
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:57 AM on June 23, 2017 [6 favorites]


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