Let's imagine our own Intel 486 version of the SNES Classic.
July 3, 2017 7:09 PM   Subscribe

What games would you put on a Classic PC? [PC Gamer] “It's a fun thought exercise, but it also gets tough as you sit down to do it. How do you define where an era of PC gaming begins and ends? Doing it by calendar year is arbitrary. Distinctions between operating systems are murky. Pre-internet? Pre-CD-ROM? Pre-accelerated graphics? Does the jump to VGA represent a new generation? After a lot of discussion, we felt that Intel's 486 processor represented one of the clearest PC gaming tree rings. Looking backward from the 486, you've got the golden age of the adventure genre, as well as the introduction of some of PC gaming's biggest franchises. After the 486, Intel's first Pentium processor kicked off an explosion of 3D games in 1996 (Quake, Tomb Raider), as well as the emergence of internet-connected games (Diablo, StarCraft, Ultima Online). So, our criterion for this 'build' is games that ran on a 486 or earlier architecture, as identified by the original system requirements.”
posted by Fizz (97 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
Mechwarrior: tab tab tab tab...
posted by ethansr at 7:14 PM on July 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


Command and Conquer: Red Alert is sorely missing from this list.
posted by Fizz at 7:14 PM on July 3, 2017 [15 favorites]


I've been thinking about this list since it came out. My first reaction was "what about..." but I realized they're restricting to just a 486, not simply everything up to a 486. Some of their choices still aren't mine (Duke 3D? Bleh) but it's not a bad list. Interesting thought experiment indeed.
posted by curious nu at 7:16 PM on July 3, 2017


This list is sorely lacking in Bullfrog titles.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:20 PM on July 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Command and Conquer: Red Alert is sorely missing from this list.


It is ... *cleans glasses* out of the vay.

And what about Descent?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:21 PM on July 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Wing Commander!!

Also, Privateer. Great game.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:23 PM on July 3, 2017 [11 favorites]


Just like Nintendo has separated the NES classic from the SNES classic, I would want various "Classic PC" models based on era. There would be the late 80's CGA Classic, the early-mid 90's VGA Classic, then the 3DfX CLaSsIC (did I do the intercaps right?)
posted by thecjm at 7:24 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


No love for Ski Free?
posted by entropone at 7:25 PM on July 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Tiny mouse, tiny keyboard, tiny monitor/tower, tiny processor. We can rebuild it. We have the technology.
posted by Fizz at 7:25 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


The original system requirements page for King of Dragon Pass (which is currently $3 at Steam and also available for iOS/Android) says "one player reports the game running fine on a 486/66," so that'd be my pick.
posted by Wobbuffet at 7:25 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Pair that 486/66 with 8 megs of ram for Warcraft II and Wing Commander 3 and you're all set
posted by thecjm at 7:27 PM on July 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


Oh man, this is bringing back tons of memories. King's Quest VI.
posted by Fizz at 7:28 PM on July 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


Their list is missing 1) at least one game with Quest in the end of it's title and 2) an FMV adventure game. Something like Gabriel Knight. They might not have aged we, but those were huge at the time.
posted by thecjm at 7:32 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


Pirates. The Mac version.
posted by Sphinx at 7:34 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


I just found a 486 motherboard in a bin the other day. There was a wad of gum stuck to it.

Star Control II rules ok
posted by phooky at 7:38 PM on July 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


Castle of the Winds and Theme Hospital.
posted by deezil at 7:38 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'd probably be the only one to put Dune II on there instead of a C&C game but it definitely set the vocabulary for RTS games before I even knew what to call them. Also I read through all 6 Dune books hoping for House Ordos to show up at some point
posted by Space Coyote at 7:40 PM on July 3, 2017 [15 favorites]


Windows 3.11 for life, yo
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:41 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


A few others I remember playing the heck out of:
Out of this World (Another World)
King of Dragon Pass
Gazillionaire
You Don't Know Jack!
Starflight (perhaps a bit earlier era)
posted by meinvt at 7:44 PM on July 3, 2017 [9 favorites]


Epic Pinball.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 7:48 PM on July 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


Didn't sell a kajillion copies but man so much fun: Stunt Island. Combination flight-sim, movie stunt sim, and movie maker.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:52 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


Pre-Windows: Leather Goddesses of Phobos.

... Which at one point I found online and put on my PDA with some oddball emulator program; I really need to sort out how DosBox works and try it on my PC.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:53 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


I recently booted a 486DX2/66 for the first time in at least 20 years (it was an old Linux machine that I kept because I built it in an even older mini-tower case that has some sentimental value and a totally radical custom paint job from 1989). After a very long fsck, it booted right up. I have no doubt that I could install DOS/Windows 3.11 on it and perhaps I should.

This list is missing a driving game or two (maybe Test Drive 3?), and it's definitely missing Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure... probably the most entertaining of the side-scrolling Apogee games. I'd rate Cosmo over Commander Keen, easily.
posted by toxic at 7:59 PM on July 3, 2017 [9 favorites]


486 with 4-8MB RAM? Well, those days were owned by Bullfrog, LucasGames/Arts, Microprose, and a little up-and-comer by the name of id. I was gonna say System Shock but that was for a Pentium.

It was also the days of computer magazines, especially (for me) the British publications PC Format and PC Gamer.

Nothing in computers has been good since about 1997.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


Well, obviously I'd actually want an Amiga.
posted by Artw at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Edit: oh and Origin Systems, with their Ultima games, ESPECIALLY Underworld.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:04 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Started reading the list. Hit Civ II and now somehow it's ten hours later and I should probably go to work.
posted by pompomtom at 8:16 PM on July 3, 2017 [20 favorites]


Doom, of course. A Classic PC without Doom would be shameful.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:19 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


B-17 Flying Fortress. And no, mom, I did not take a prurient interest in the nose art of the planes. For the most part.
posted by vorpal bunny at 8:23 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


These are a bit more 386 speed but all the Epyx Games, and Earl Weaver Baseball which was the first sports game I played that had rosters and player stats and could simulate entire fantasy seasons with your fully stacked dream team. I learned more about all the baseball greats playing that game than I ever did watching it on TV.
posted by simra at 8:27 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Ok having thought some more. We need a Turbo button:
  1. Mechwarrior This is the gold standard for PC games. Squad management, 3D combat, story encounters in the game world, mech customization, inventory management, trading... all with the keyboard.
  2. One of (CGA/EGA of course): Text parsers! No futzing with menus! Corny Jokes!
    • Hero's Quest: So You Want to Be a Hero
    • Space Quest 3
    • Some King's Quest that people like for some reason
    • Colonel's Bequest

  3. Day of the Tentacle
    Writing so good it makes up for SCUMM.

  4. Beneath a Steel Sky
    Maybe the best adventure game ever?

  5. Raptor: Call of the Shadows
    Cool art, upgrades are fun, almost everything in the game explodes.

  6. C&C: Either Tiberian Sun or Red Alert
    Red Alert probably wins, but the original C&C has such style.

  7. Master of Orion or Magic
    Two totally different but completely rad strategy games

  8. UFO: Enemy Unknown
    Ok nevermind, this game sets the gold standard for...

  9. Prince Of Persia
    Rotoscope all the things!

  10. Flashback
    Prince of Persia but you have a gun and there are aliens. Also you can take the subway.

  11. Something by Apogee

  12. Round 42.
    I'm not sure this is playable even clocked down, but whatever.

  13. Sylpheed
    So much style.

  14. One Must Fall: 2097 (maybe, I forget its exact requirements)
    It's a robot fighting game.

  15. Paratrooper (the CGA one)
    How will I get a high score when each bullet costs a point?

  16. Doom and/or Wolfenstein
    Yes yes we need a 2.5D game.

  17. System Shock
    It's a 2.5D game with a story?? WHAT?

  18. Lemmings
    Why is this game so good?

  19. Scorched Earth
    Tanks try to shoot each other.

  20. Populous I or II
    It's call Populous, but you are God.

  21. and fucking Worms

Too many other good ones... this task is impossible.
posted by ethansr at 8:30 PM on July 3, 2017 [23 favorites]


SimAnt. I could never mow my lawn in good conscience again.
posted by vorpal bunny at 8:31 PM on July 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Yeah, my personal list would definitely include Cosmo, Scorched Earth, Worms, and the original Wing Commander (I still have the box). Still, this is a fairly respectable attempt.

You could probably do worse than going back through the highlights of all those mid-90s PC Gamer CDs.
posted by brennen at 8:34 PM on July 3, 2017


No love for Nethack?
posted by Joe in Australia at 8:53 PM on July 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


What about some of the D&D Gold Box Games?
posted by MythMaker at 8:57 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Dave Spicer's Sparcade. The granddaddy of homebrewed arcade emulators, pre-MAME, and capable of running a reasonable suite of titles nicely on a 486 at its peak.
posted by delfin at 9:00 PM on July 3, 2017


Stunts.
posted by Jimbob at 9:01 PM on July 3, 2017 [15 favorites]


TIE FIGHTER
posted by indubitable at 9:18 PM on July 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Yeah, if you're going to pick an Apogee game to signify the time Apogee dominated the shareware market, it should be Cosmo or Wacky Wheels in my book... I know Commander Keen is the franchise that still has the dedicated online fanbase, but his games never really did it for me.

(Jazz Jackrabbit beat Apogee's entire catalog and has his own fanbase too, but I have to admit that Epic MegaGames was otherwise leagues behind Apogee, so they can get the nod on average.)
posted by one for the books at 9:19 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Master of Orion 2
posted by indubitable at 9:19 PM on July 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


A second on TIE FIGHTER!
posted by bjgeiger at 9:31 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


The King of Dragon Pass ios/android ports are superb, by the way.

For the PC - absolutely Descent. Amazing game.
posted by Sebmojo at 9:33 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Oh man, Stunts, yes, so hard.

What we discovered (like probably a lot of folks) was that the track editor function would reject your track if it wasn't a closed loop that followed the rules for making a normal drivable track, but it imposed no restrictions on the parts of the track that were not part of the closed "normal" circuit. So.

What we always did was create the smallest possible drivable circuit: four 90° turns, one block of straight, and one start/finish line. The game would see that completable track and let you load it to drive on. Then we would drive right off this tiny loop and onto the real track we had designed on the entire rest of the map. The one with no parsing for drivability and completion. The one with no design rules enforced.

This is where we really pulled out out all the stops. We had miles of straightaway leading up to jumps that launched directly in to the side of a building. We had alternating left and right bankings with no transitions between them so you had to drive carefully and near-perfectly down the middle of the dangerously seesawing roadway. We had nice speedy sections luring you into a false sense of security that ended abruptly with a blind curve and a solid retaining wall. Raised roadways plunging, rampless, into forests of alternating trees and gas stations. Pretty much every kind of insane obstacle, dangerously wrong combination of structures and tracks, and any ridiculous *ahem* stunt we could think of.

You could save them on a floppy disk, of course, and take them over to your buddy's house and have him try to navigate, sight unseen, the most troll-y, grief-y, impossible track you could devise while you sat to the side, cackling with adolescent glee as he flew out of the loop-the-loop at 190 MPH and smashed his Indy car into the side of a building.

Then we would watch the replays.

It was sublime. On a 486. In 1990.
posted by glonous keming at 9:42 PM on July 3, 2017 [18 favorites]


No love for Nethack?

You want some kind of... UNIX type thing... in a tiny box? It'll never happen.
posted by Artw at 9:57 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


You want some kind of... UNIX type thing... in a tiny box? It'll never happen.

SCO Unix 3.2 came out in 1989, we certainly ran 20+ users on a 386 back then, nethack was a thing, and we deployed a whole lot of refurbed 486s as VPN routers/sales office servers up until the early 2ks...
posted by mikelieman at 10:03 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


I love all these games, but Scorched Earth needs to be on that list.
posted by higginba at 10:04 PM on July 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


I can't be the only one who loved Star Trek: A Final Unity, right?
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:10 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


ultima 7. (ultima 7.5 alsos?) sanitarium. wing commander 3 (kitties!). tie fighter. warcraft 2. full throttle. crusader no remorse (fuck it, anything by origin). dune II (a bit dated by 486 standards but still).
posted by wibari at 10:20 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Oh man, Stunts, yes, so hard.

I haven't thought about that game since the 90s. God, it was so much fun.

My favorite track of all time was made by an old friend of mine (who I sadly haven't seen for a good long time.) He'd spent quite a while tweaking this thing so that not only did it parse, but it was damn near only loops and corkscrews in a zigzag across the whole map, and it was doable (but barely.) First time I've ever gotten actually motion sick playing a video game. Goal was to finish the whole thing without crashing. Took me quite a few tries. The "This race is too long to save a replay" popup that came up around the... what, 10 minute mark?... screwed me up a couple of times. Finally did it. Friend finished it on like the 3rd run. He was way better than I was.
posted by mavrc at 10:21 PM on July 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


I was gonna say System Shock but that was for a Pentium.

Not quite! There was a floppy disk version with no voices that ran on my 486 (I never had an optical drive for it.)

Delightfully nostalgic list, but seriously lacking in Sierra titles, which were my favorite thing that wasn't Civ. And oh yes, Master of Magic must be on my list.
posted by asperity at 10:51 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Another vote for Descent. There was a brief golden era where I had access to a 486-100 (DX 2 all the way) with 16 mb RAM, a 2 MB VESA card and most importantly one of those then new-fangled 3D joystick and throttle combinations that turned Descent into an entirely new kind of playable game.

If I close my eyes I can still see and feel the whole zero-G, up doesn't matter because it doesn't exist here feeling. Not to mention complicated spherical circle-strafing runs. Circle strafing in 2D shooters doesn't even compare with how complicated it gets when you can move, aim and strafe in all directions.

The only thing that would have made it better is dual 3D joysticks so I could fire, move, and strafe in all directions like a 3D Robotron 2084 or Smash TV.

I'm still bummed that there still hasn't been a modern retake on it. With good design and gameplay it could be the ultimate multi-person FPS, especially as VR becomes more and more common.
posted by loquacious at 10:55 PM on July 3, 2017 [8 favorites]


What about Nesticle?
[ducks and covers head while running out of the room]
posted by DoctorFedora at 10:56 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Not a bad list, but needs some Sierra, and I'd drop Day of The Tentacle and replace it with Sam & Max Hit The Road, loved that game so much.
posted by threecheesetrees at 11:04 PM on July 3, 2017 [4 favorites]


>5. Raptor: Call of the Shadows

If y'all like Raptor you might give Tyrian a try. Faster gameplay (though nowhere near bullet-hell), much more equipment/items/weapons, and quirky plot.

Open-source since 2007!
posted by genpfault at 11:21 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


woah, I played the HELL out of One Must Fall with my high school buds... And had forgotten entirely about it until this moment.

Otherwise, my 486 days were spent with Mechwarrior, Descent, D&D Gold Box games, and a whoooole lotta Scorched Earth. And, of course, TIE Fighter and X-Wing...
posted by kaibutsu at 11:27 PM on July 3, 2017


I'm still bummed that there still hasn't been a modern retake on [Descent]. With good design and gameplay it could be the ultimate multi-person FPS, especially as VR becomes more and more common.

Overload
Descent Underground
posted by one for the books at 11:28 PM on July 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


Just for curiosity's sake, what titles would be good for someone who's way out of the loop with contemporary games, but got way too into X-Wing and Tie Fighter back in the day?

Or is that a derail better saved for an Ask?...
posted by threecheesetrees at 11:47 PM on July 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


The only thing that would have made it better is dual 3D joysticks so I could fire, move, and strafe in all directions like a 3D Robotron 2084 or Smash TV.

I used a joystick on the left for movement, mouse on the right for pitch and yaw.
posted by mikelieman at 12:28 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


threecheesetrees, probably your best bet will be Elite: Dangerous. I'm not sure there are a lot of sci-fi flight sims around these days.
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:28 AM on July 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


If I close my eyes I can still see and feel the whole zero-G, up doesn't matter because it doesn't exist here feeling. Not to mention complicated spherical circle-strafing runs. Circle strafing in 2D shooters doesn't even compare with how complicated it gets when you can move, aim and strafe in all directions.

To this day if I boot up Descent in an emulator and load my preferred keymap I can fly the first 20 or so levels more-or-less on muscle memory. And then the following night I have dreams about flying around abandoned mine workings on distant planets...
posted by Luddite at 2:54 AM on July 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


System Shock Enhanced with voices worked fine on a 486 DX, though it got a little slow towards the end in the big chimney thing.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:04 AM on July 4, 2017


Great list of games although the early Pentium era is probably my favorite for PC games: Jedi Knight, Total
Annihilation, Quake, System Shock 2, SMAC, etc.
posted by octothorpe at 3:36 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


While I would totally go with Mechwarrior, even better would be the sequel and its expansions:

Mechwarrior 2
Mechwarrior 2: Mercenaries
Mechwarrior 2: Ghost Bear's Legacy

I spent hundreds of hours on these games as a kid, and they were (and still are) amazing, and all they required was DOS 6.0 and a 486.
posted by tocts at 5:39 AM on July 4, 2017 [5 favorites]


Ah, Descent. I played through all three games a year or two ago, and you'd be amazed at how well I and II hold up, especially thanks to DXX. III is very hard to salvage because there isn't a magical D3X-style modernization and so everything's still stuck in the Windows 98 era, plus there are significant changes to the formula that make it more annoying to play (no hitboxes for robots or weapons, wide open outdoor spaces that in practice don't jive well with what you do in Descent).

I'm still bummed that there still hasn't been a modern retake on [Descent]. With good design and gameplay it could be the ultimate multi-person FPS, especially as VR becomes more and more common.

I'd add to the previous suggestions Sublevel Zero, which takes the Descent formula and turns it into a roguelike. It works surprisingly well and feels pretty close to how the original Descent games felt.
posted by chrominance at 5:41 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Warheads. It was like Scorched Earth in space with planetary gravity, came with a host and client so you could play networked, and had a weapons editor that allowed all players to create their own weapons from a common pool of elements.

Also, Re-Volt. Remote-controlled car racing game thru neighborhoods and stuff.
posted by davelog at 6:05 AM on July 4, 2017


Nthing Descent! Loved the first one the feeling of speed and dimension. The second and third lost all of that. I was bummed.
posted by Max Power at 6:08 AM on July 4, 2017


This era of PC gaming is so nostalgic for me. In the mid 90s I was pretty much tethered to my PC playing games all the time.

The list is pretty good, but there are few that I would definitely add.

Someone already mentioned Wing Commander Privateer and I would definitely include it over WC3. It's one of my favourite games of all time.

Also, while they have Myst on the list, they omitted the contemporary The 7th Guest.

The single most glaring omission though is Dune II, the game that launched an entire genre.
posted by 256 at 6:40 AM on July 4, 2017 [6 favorites]


One of the great joys of raising a kid in the 90s was that he and I could play all of the LucasArts adventure games together.
posted by octothorpe at 6:56 AM on July 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


Original X-COM would fall into this era as well.
posted by Artw at 7:28 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Gosh this list is looking a lot like a "Best Amiga games ported to x86" list.
posted by schmod at 7:35 AM on July 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


Note that nobody ever says "best Atari ST games ported to PC" list.
posted by Artw at 7:38 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm still gunning for something like Laser Squad on Amiga. We're modern now! We can do multiplayer/turn based without requiring unshowered unslept teens to leave the room.
posted by pompomtom at 8:42 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Heh. Per previous games discussion that's Mario Rabbid Warfare on Switch.
posted by Artw at 8:45 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Scorched Earth was where it was at. And then Worms became a thing many years later with its cartoon looks and semi-racist caricatures/voices. But that was where I first learned how important knowledge of math and physics were and how you could actually put it to use.
posted by Fizz at 9:30 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Stargoose! (There was a PC version, too.)

I was going to suggest Age of Empires but it looks like it required a Pentium to make all those little guys run around.
posted by lagomorphius at 10:32 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'd sub Transport Tycoon Deluxe (sorry, SimCity) and Dungeon Keeper (or Syndicate Wars or the like). And you need a D&D RPG there or Might & Magic.
posted by ersatz at 11:15 AM on July 4, 2017


I guess Sundog: Frozen Legacy never actually ran on a 486 PC hm?

Seconding Starflight!

Anyone out there remember Flightmare?

I had a pc port of Lode Runner that I played the hell out of, until I hit a board in the low 100s that I simply could not figure out, and abandoned the game broken hearted.









donkey.bas?
posted by hearthpig at 11:53 AM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


486???

Whose parents needed such a powerful beast?

I played most of these on a 386 16MHz 1Mb RAM machine. I still maintain that the reason I couldn't ever complete Dune II was because it didn't have enough RAM to build a big enough army to finish the later levels.

And I shall maintain that until my dying day.
posted by stanf at 12:10 PM on July 4, 2017 [4 favorites]


FWIW, for everyone with a longing for Mechwarrior games, Mechwarrior Online does a pretty good job of recreating that feeling. The 'mech customization gets pretty deep pretty fast, there is just starting to be some single player content, they just added a bunch of new weapon options adding yet more options to customize AND they just overhauled the pilot/'mech skill system too.

Metamechs is the typical resource for competitive players and min/maxers. It has a lot of resources for builds and how to play.

But it's free to play. Very little content is pay walled and usually it's just that you get to access some new content sooner by paying for it.

The pace is slower than your typical FPS and the players skew older so there is less toxic crap to deal with. I don't play it as much these days but I played a LOT over the last few years. There are flaws and a lack of content so it can get kind of repetitive but landing that clutch PPC or guass shot, or catching the long range specialist with your short-range-missile/small-pulse-laser boat up close and tearing them apart.

I typically recommend starting out with lights. If nothing else you can scout and get a feel for the game while finding the enemy team...with your face! Also they're a cheap way to be effective fast if you want to dip you toe in.
posted by VTX at 12:20 PM on July 4, 2017


Omg, nobody has said minesweeper.
posted by Stewriffic at 1:30 PM on July 4, 2017 [2 favorites]


486???

Whose parents needed such a powerful beast?


This is such a wonderful comment and one I can relate to. I'm lucky enough now that I have enough money to invest in my own personal computer, built my first gaming PC 2 years ago.

But back in the day, you didn't own a computer, at least not in my house, the "family" had a PC that was in the living room. And everyone had to share. I can recall trying to convince my father to get a more powerful PC so I could play games when all he wanted was something functional and that would allow me to type my school reports in a more professional manner.
posted by Fizz at 3:46 PM on July 4, 2017 [2 favorites]



486???

Whose parents needed such a powerful beast?


Dirty PC gamer secret - my 486 was really a Cyrix 486 clone that my dad spent way too much money on at a furniture store of all places.
posted by thecjm at 7:24 PM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


Lots of great choices in this thread for single player, but the game we most played the absolute hell out of on our work LAN was Big Red Racing. And Quake of course.
posted by walrus at 8:38 PM on July 4, 2017


No love for Nethack?

Does the 486 have enough RAM to handle all the stuff that an average nethack character carries around in inventory?
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:09 PM on July 4, 2017


What about the nightmares of extended memory & expanded memory and the thrill of not knowing if your videogame was going to work in your computer until you arrived home? I remember having a 3.5" floppy disk for booting with various autoexec.bat and config.sys...
posted by samelborp at 11:17 PM on July 4, 2017 [3 favorites]


What about the nightmares of extended memory & expanded memory and the thrill of not knowing if your videogame was going to work in your computer until you arrived home?

Aka Ultima Underworld #stillbitter
posted by ersatz at 11:39 PM on July 4, 2017 [1 favorite]


What about the nightmares of extended memory & expanded memory

Nightmare?? No, no, a thousand times no. Memory Manager Pro : IRQ Conflict Edition is *the* number one 486 game, especially if you play with the rarer Gravis Ultrasound mission packs.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:04 AM on July 5, 2017 [9 favorites]


CTRF+F "Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe". No results.

This is pants.

I lost many, many, many hours to that, and Their Finest Hour.
posted by generichuman at 2:28 AM on July 5, 2017 [3 favorites]


No love for Nethack?

Does the 486 have enough RAM to handle all the stuff that an average nethack character carries around in inventory?


I have not, in 20 years, had another computer that ran Nethack as fast as my stepdad's old 386. Lightning fast. Every Win95 or higher machine I've had has had just a tiiiiiiny bit of delay running Nethack- not so much as you'd notice normally, but there's lots of little things, like how much longer newer machines take to run through a bunch of repeated wait actions ("n 300 s" for example).
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:09 AM on July 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


Maximum Overkill
Falcon 3.0
Sierra adventure games
TSR/SSI gold box D&D
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:53 AM on July 5, 2017


I don't think I ever beat NES TMNT but I definitely didn't have trouble with the seaweed level. That was like level two. C'mon, Nintendo players.

Crap, wrong thread. There are too many video game threads nowadays.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:21 AM on July 5, 2017 [3 favorites]


Ninja-only box.
posted by Artw at 11:15 AM on July 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


Crap, wrong thread. There are too many video game threads nowadays.

Wrong.
posted by Fizz at 2:28 PM on July 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'll admit that I took a moment to make sure I was still reading the thread I thought I was cause I knew exactly what you were referring to and was pretty sure I had just switched here from that tab.
posted by VTX at 2:45 PM on July 5, 2017


Its a recent game on steam but I'm several dozen hours into Nuclear Throne, a roguelike shooter that feels like a cheerful post-apocalyptic version of Gauntlet.

It really feels like it should have been a game from that era but people somehow overlooked making it.

It's not easy.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:58 PM on July 5, 2017


CTRF+F "Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe". No results.

I remember staring at the box for SWOTL for maybe an hour or so at Dalton's or some such place before I finally decided to spend whatever ridiculous amount of money it cost when it first came out.
posted by lagomorphius at 5:08 PM on July 5, 2017 [1 favorite]


Genuinely surprised to not see Broderbund's "Shufflepuck Cafe" on the list. A game whose conceit is basically walking into Mos Eisley and playing 3d pong against any number of inventively designed aliens with unique personalities? I wish i had that now! (and as i recently discovered, designed by one of the people behind the design of the Carmen Sandiego series)
posted by softlord at 5:01 AM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


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