"Not all emus are flightless"
July 11, 2017 8:18 PM   Subscribe

In these stressful times, you've gotta hang onto what's important. Like a single can of beer, as your checked luggage.
posted by ferret branca (23 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ugh. Emu Export is an embarrassment to my home state. The Qantas baggage handlers should have confiscated it.
posted by Talez at 8:57 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]


I once checked a single screwdriver as my luggage on a flight from Shanghai to LA (it was fine in my carryon on my way out, and for some unknowable reason I was feeling particularly ornery that day and refused to let the security guy at PVG confiscate it). Now I'm sort of disappointed that they didn't let me just stick the tag on the handle - instead they put it in what I can only describe as a slightly sturdier version of a timbits box for its trip across the Pacific.

(The other part of this story involves the same PVG security guy lending me an official airport security badge so I could run to the check-in counter and back without having to go through passport control, etc again - was pretty surreal to be waving this thing around and wandering through the "restricted personnel only" areas and, at least once, being saluted as well as waved through by one of the security guards, all because this stupid screwdriver was apparently a danger to my fellow passengers)
posted by btfreek at 8:58 PM on July 11 [6 favorites]


Presumably, he drank the other 5 before checking the 6th. Hopefully.

I love the fact that he was prepared to file a lost baggage claim if it didn't come out. ...but tells the Daily Mail he was 100 percent prepared to make a lost-luggage claim in the event he didn’t.

If it was cold when he checked it in, and it came out warm, could he claim damage?

Apparently, in another article I read about it, he said he knew it made it when he was walking to the baggage carousel and he saw people taking snaps of something on the carousel. Would love to have been the guy that casually walks up to the carousel, grabs his beer, pops it open and chugs it right there.
posted by AugustWest at 9:19 PM on July 11 [9 favorites]


Airport: Welcome to the airport
Guy: Hold my beer
posted by bleep at 10:00 PM on July 11 [37 favorites]


pfft, amateur.
posted by ckape at 10:24 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]


Tch. Free checked baggage. Those were the days.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:24 PM on July 11


"Not all emus are flightless"

Tolkien: 'No, wait - Not all who wander are lost is better'
posted by thelonius at 11:28 PM on July 11 [6 favorites]


At least he got that crap out of Victoria.
posted by pompomtom at 12:19 AM on July 12


At least he got that crap out of Victoria

It's no worse than Carlton
posted by deadwax at 1:33 AM on July 12


I once flew Emu Air (now defunct) out to Kangaroo Island in Australia. At the time, the joke was "the only airline named after a bird that can't fly."
posted by zachlipton at 1:53 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Aye, but that's OUR crap.
posted by pompomtom at 2:40 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]


I tried to check a bottle of gin (a rather nice Australian one; a gift from a friend) onto a flight to Tokyo at Sydney airport, after inadvertently putting it in my carry-on and not noticing until I had passed through the scanner. They wouldn't have a bar of it, and there was no option for me to post it to myself either. I'm still mourning the loss of that bottle.
posted by acb at 5:04 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]


I checked a little hard-sided lunchbox cooler once to get two pints of Lake Effect ice cream back to DC. It was totally worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Ice cream is precious.

Of course, it doesn't always go well...
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:14 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]


But have you tried Cassowary Cream Ale and Rhea Red?
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:07 AM on July 12


Also:

Q: What do you call an emu with a tommy gun?

A: A ratta-tat-tatite.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:09 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]


Not to be confused with:

Q: How do you kill an emu with a machine gun?
A: With great difficulty
posted by acb at 7:15 AM on July 12 [4 favorites]


I once flew Emu Air (now defunct) out to Kangaroo Island in Australia. At the time, the joke was "the only airline named after a bird that can't fly."

"At the time"? I feel that if anything the joke is better now, in light of your parenthetical aside.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:58 AM on July 12


Q: How do you kill an emu with a machine gun?

Well, first you check whether the emu has modified the trigger guard to fit a wing.
posted by Etrigan at 10:03 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]


As soon as I saw this headline I knew intuitively that it involved an Australian. I always thought Canadians loved their beer more than most countries until I met my first Australians. My parents once met this older Australian couple and the husband was literally like something out of the Monty Python Bruces sketch. He liked my dad a lot, likely because my dad being a pretty quiet man never interrupted him, so much that he sent a selection of 8 cans of beer from Australia to my parents in a poorly packed box. The only one that survived that voyage was a can of Fosters the rest were demolished.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:51 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]


He liked my dad a lot

The only one that survived that voyage was a can of Fosters the rest were demolished.

I got bad news for you. He didn't like your dad at all.
posted by Talez at 7:37 PM on July 12 [4 favorites]


The only one that survived that voyage was a can of Fosters the rest were demolished.

So, no beer cans survived.
posted by vivekspace at 4:25 AM on July 13 [2 favorites]


They apparently only brew Fosters in Australia in small quantities, primarily for sale to British tourists who want an “authentic Aussie beer” like the one they know from TV ads. The majority of the world's Fosters is the stuff brewed under licence in the UK, as the go-to generic lager, only with that Neighbours/Home And Away glow that so appeals to the Poms.
posted by acb at 4:27 AM on July 13


They apparently only brew Fosters in Australia in small quantities, primarily for sale to British tourists who want an “authentic Aussie beer” like the one they know from TV ads.

I always suspected that was the case. I lived in Bangladesh for a time in the early 90s and we knew the Australia high commissioner there and so we'd go to some parties at the Australian high commission. Inevitably the party would always break down and people would begin to pour fosters on the marble floors and proceed to slide down the floor. Even the serious seeming high commissioner did this. Those parties were always the wildest.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:31 AM on July 15


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