Toasting is the essence of toastness
July 27, 2017 4:37 AM   Subscribe

 
Hah! We have this toaster. It is a lovely toaster. It has outlived all the other toasters we had before it.
posted by Calzephyr at 5:11 AM on July 27, 2017


I have a Breville toaster, and it really needs the "a bit more button", now using the toaster at our house is a little like playing the lottery albeit with slightly better odds. Sometimes TL4 (toast level) comes out golden and crisp outside, and sometimes it comes up warm bread. My wife asks why they can't have a "toast it exactly right" button.
posted by askmehow at 5:13 AM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I liked the article, but one thing that occurred to me was that a toaster with an 'A Bit More' button doesn't meet my particular needs. My toaster need a 'crumpet' setting which would toast the top of the crumpet something like 75% more than bread, and the bottom of the crumpet maybe 50% more. My current 'toast it twice' method generally toasts the crumpet just a little too much, and also tends to burn the bottom edges a bit. Complicating that, a Warburton's crumpet tends to need slightly less toasting, and better tolerates equal toasting on both sides.

I don't think I 've ever had a problem that would be solved by a 10% extension on toasting time, though.

I would however like to see a toaster that: (a) has a browning setting that has a sensible range of adjustment, rather than having the whole usable range somewhere between 5.5 and 6, and (b) can actually lift a crumpet/bagel/muffin to a point where I can take it from the toaster using my hands and without sustaining burns.
posted by pipeski at 5:17 AM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


Eh, it's a nice touch no doubt. But a real genius would give me "A Bit Less" button.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:20 AM on July 27, 2017 [15 favorites]


The “A Bit More” button doesn’t reinvent the appliance’s form. It finds its soul instead.

A fine example of the toast in the machine.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:23 AM on July 27, 2017 [22 favorites]


My General Electric T77 just celebrated its 70th birthday and a recent little pop and curl of smoke means it's time to open it up to reconnect a loose wire. I'll take the time to give it a general clean, service, and polish while it's on my workbench, and it'll be good for another five to ten years before it needs my attention again. Mine's got an "a bit more" function, too, in which I look at the toast that's emerged and push down the lever for another run if necessary before manually popping it back up, and it's a brilliant self-servicing mechanism using a generalized biomechanical mechanism operated by a neural network…that will likely still be working decades after this vaunted advance in disposable tech is poisoning the ground water in some Chinese electronics "recycling" facility.
posted by sonascope at 5:58 AM on July 27, 2017 [6 favorites]


It's just toast.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:00 AM on July 27, 2017




We have a different Breville model (cheaper, with no motorized bread-lifter), bought after I finally got tired of the crappy $8 toaster after several years. It toasts much more evenly and consistently, and I like that you can lift the toast up to check the progress. And the "frozen" setting, since I keep the bread in the freezer since we use it so slowly. It's not perfect, and nothing that I am emotionally attached to, but it does seem designed to meet the actual needs of people toasting bread, more than other toasters I have owned.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:16 AM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


Also, is “browness” (with one ‘n’) a correct spelling in the US?
posted by acb at 6:27 AM on July 27, 2017


I've always wondered why toasters can't just have timers. I am capable of deciding how long to cook everything else, from complex dishes to microwave meals; why is toast the final frontier of my competence?
posted by howfar at 6:34 AM on July 27, 2017


I have a Dualit toaster that is by far the best toaster I've ever used. It's entirely mechanical, and very satisfying to use. There isn't even a pop up function, so you can manually lift the toast up mid-toasting to check if it's done or to flip over a large slice. Once it is done you push a little lever to lift it up, so it stays warm until you are ready for it. It has a dial so you can adjust the toasting to your liking. You can even turn a little switch so only one of the slots heats up instead of wasting the energy for only one slice of toast. The one downside is, it seems to have become a design classic, with a price tag to match. But I fully expect it to last a lifetime and to be easily repaired by anyone who is the slightest bit handy.
posted by tavegyl at 7:00 AM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


If toasters had timers, people would realise how inaccurate the cheap electronics inside them are. Most of them use a capacitor charging up through a variable resistor that eventually hits a limit and triggers the toast to pop, which is the electronic equivalent of guessing about when. An accurate timer would require one of those clockwork timer knobs that nobody makes any more, or go the full hog with a microprocessor, LCD and array of buttons you get on more expensive appliances. It's a bit expensive for a low demand, nearly disposable appliance.

TL;DR: Modern capitalism is antithetical to accurate toast.
posted by Eleven at 7:08 AM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]


For a previous breach of "the alien frontier of toasterness", see Thomas M. Disch's The Brave Little Toaster.
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 7:18 AM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I was disappointed that the essay wandered into the blandness of Great Questions About The Role of The Designer, rather than sticking to the really gripping stuff, the history and thought behind design decisions, the genealogy of the toaster (a la Henry Petroski). The toaster is interesting, and if you watch design change over the decades, it's a marvel of hiding the mechanism away so that you are left only with those design choices to look at. How does the A Bit More work? We are not allowed to know.

After the death of our Hello Kitty toaster recently, we were thrown into confusion. We knew we needed a toaster, but who knew it was such a fraught decision? Half the reviews we read seemed to mention toasters catching on fire. We wanted something simple and safe. We don't toast bagels, we don't need eight pieces of toast at a time, our toast does not need to connect to the internet. It was disappointing to discover our choices were either too much feature-richness, or a cheap machine that might toast the entire kitchen.

So, after much research, we bought a used Dualit, similar to tavegyl's newer one above. The mechanisms are simple, it's easy to take apart and see everything, and the extra features are useful and not cumbersome--being able to turn off a slot to save power is great. Best of all, it has a sandwich slot! I would not have thought we'd get as much use out of that as we have, but the ability to toast a cheese sandwich has totally revolutionized lunch. No more messy frying of grilled cheese! It's also a good example of a design plateau. There really isn't much room in its design to add new features. I see newer ones with more granular temperature controls, but the basic design with its toast-raising lever, its easily-removed tray, its time dial, are stable across decades.

We're still learning its language. I get confused over the icons on the slot switches, and it really seems to want toast to be in there for 2-1/2 minutes, which at its normal heat level makes bread into charcoal. It was designed in a time where our particular brand of very wide bread didn't exist, so there is some toast-flipping that has to take place to get an even cook. But it's such a sturdy little machine, and pretty, and honest, that I don't mind meeting it halfway and learning its idiosyncrasies.
posted by mittens at 7:35 AM on July 27, 2017


or go the full hog with a microprocessor, LCD and array of buttons you get on more expensive appliances

Wouldn't a quartz crystal, an oscillator and some kind of TTL counter suffice for a fraction of the price and a few orders of magnitude less complexity?
posted by acb at 7:56 AM on July 27, 2017


Why do you guys not have flatbed toasters? This one has a timer, too. To me, that is one of life's great mysteries. Also I don't like putting my bread down in a hole and then loose all control of it's future quality.
The other thing about the article is that false dichotomy between research (knowledge in the article) and design (genius in the article); this has been going on for 20 years or something, and every single time a real designer says it isn't really like that, writers like this one stuffs their fingers in their ears and go njahnjahnjah.
This really irritates me because it undermines the design profession, and its education and research at every level. I know plenty of designers are engaged on both sides of this fake version of what the design process might be, but that's just like there are Republican politicians. That something is stupid doesn't mean people won't do it for money.
posted by mumimor at 7:59 AM on July 27, 2017


Hey, this brings up a really important question. Would anyone like any toast?
posted by loquacious at 8:13 AM on July 27, 2017 [3 favorites]


Hey, this brings up a really important question. Would anyone like any toast?

I'm a little wary of where sharing breakfast food with you might lead.
posted by jedicus at 8:28 AM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


OH NO I love this toaster

but I also love my shiny chrome 1940s Toastmaster with its pristine cloth cord and its confusing tendency to burn only the very top tips of my toast when it is feeling capricious

what to do
posted by poffin boffin at 8:36 AM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm baffled why anyone would prefer a toaster to a toaster oven. It already has a "leave it in until it's perfectly browned" feature called "a window."
posted by straight at 9:04 AM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I just knew I would someday find a place to put this...YEAH TOAST!
posted by nanolightbender at 9:08 AM on July 27, 2017


Our cheapo toaster doesn't have an "A Bit More" button but it does have a "Warm" button which works to about the same effect.

My kid doesn't like pop toast* when it's too browned on top, so I throw one in for him, hit Warm, and then when it pops up I repeat. Warm 2x is perfect for him. Warm also works pretty well when you get distracted and don't notice that the bread has popped up until it's too late and you want to heat it slightly without burning it because no one deserves cold toast.

I do like the design aesthetics of the Breville but that's a lot of scratch for a toaster. On the other hand, I've happily paid $200+ for a coffee maker, because I know I'll use it every day... last one went 11 years before I replaced it, because the LED display was unreadable - it worked, I just couldn't program it any more...

(*his phrase for anything Pop-Tart shaped, as we don't actually buy Pop-Tarts, so technically they are "organic toaster pastries" but to him it's a pop toast)
posted by caution live frogs at 9:31 AM on July 27, 2017


I'm baffled why anyone would prefer a toaster to a toaster oven. It already has a "leave it in until it's perfectly browned" feature called "a window."

Do you happen to prefer your toast to be kind of dry? I have yet to encounter a toaster oven that doesn't make dried out toast.
posted by zamboni at 10:31 AM on July 27, 2017


Also a toaster takes up a lot less countertop space than a toaster oven - smaller footprint.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:50 AM on July 27, 2017


An accurate timer would require one of those clockwork timer knobs that nobody makes any more, or go the full hog with a microprocessor, LCD and array of buttons you get on more expensive appliances. It's a bit expensive for a low demand, nearly disposable appliance.

you mean like this? we have one. it isn't as great as it should be.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 10:51 AM on July 27, 2017


All toasters suck, except for possibly the Dualit. The only toaster I want is an updated Sunbeam Radiant Control that will take modern big slices and bagels. It's a toaster that uses the heat from the bread to decide how done it is. You basically just set a color. Until this is available I'll just cycle through $20 models from Target.

pipeski: I believe differential toasting like that is what bagel settings do.
posted by rhizome at 12:01 PM on July 27, 2017


Suffice it to say that an "A Bit More" button is going in the exact wrong engineering direction. I don't need my toaster to offer more opportunities for "engagement." A toaster is lame if I can't just go in the other room and listen for the "shhkk" pop.
posted by rhizome at 12:04 PM on July 27, 2017


  Why do you guys not have flatbed toasters?

Far be it from me to judge, but if you wanna use a two-bar electric fire to make toast, go crazy! But falling sunflower seeds would make for fun flare ups, and butter dripping from the heart of a brioche would create delicious conflagrations.
posted by scruss at 12:08 PM on July 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


but I also love my shiny chrome 1940s Toastmaster with its pristine cloth cord and its confusing tendency to burn only the very top tips of my toast when it is feeling capricious

We are... toaster twins? I didn't think anyone else still had one of those (including my grandma, who gave hers to my mom, who was like "um... I have had my own toaster for fifty years now" but I didn't! So I won!)
posted by restless_nomad at 1:07 PM on July 27, 2017


Oh man. now I want to retrofit the radiant control from that Sunbeam to a cheap toaster.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 1:58 PM on July 27, 2017


pipeski: I believe differential toasting like that is what bagel settings do.

Yes and no. My toaster has a bagel setting, but that just disables the heating on one side of the slot. I need a toaster that understands the complex needs of the crumpet (by which I don't mean my wife).
posted by pipeski at 3:36 PM on July 27, 2017


I stayed in a hotel in Spain once. The waitress at breakfast said they have a toast roaster, and any of their breads can be toasted. Someone asked if it was a toaster or toast roaster, I guess trying to be funny. And she said, no we actually have a Toast Roaster, it's not a toaster. After breakfast a few of us investigated, hoping to find some sort of magical toast roaster, but it was just a toaster oven.
posted by cell divide at 3:43 PM on July 27, 2017


I don't understand you people, why use a power hungry device when I have a skillet and a jar of bacon fat by the stove?!

Personally, I conflicted.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 4:03 PM on July 27, 2017


For a previous breach of "the alien frontier of toasterness", see Thomas M. Disch's The Brave Little Toaster.

Or even the film! (songs by Van Dyke Parks).
posted by mwhybark at 7:05 PM on July 27, 2017


I retired my lousy toaster to the trash, as it never really worked, and it stuck down, and so on and so forth. I bought a little toaster oven, which is fabulous, because I can use it as an oven to bake Dutch babies, and little cakes in these 6 inch fluted ceramic baking dishes. It is so great to bake in the summer and not heat up the whole kitchen. As a toaster it toasts, but I am a distracted person, and don't pay enough attention, even at that it beats the toaster I kept around for 10 years, that never worked well enough from day one. I like the design aspect of "a bit more." So awesome.

I have another toaster I picked up for $.25 at a yard sale. It sits over a gas burner, it is a topless four sided pyramid thing you can turn the toast around to get both sides, it does four slices at once. Neener, neener, neener it has to be from the forties at the earliest.
posted by Oyéah at 7:28 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I just enjoyed reading an article crooning about good UX design as my screen was slowly being consumed by "sponsored content"
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 8:37 PM on July 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


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