A treasure trove of poor choices

August 3, 2017 6:15 AM

Tired of Neymar's endless transfer saga? Of reading transfer rumours linking players to your team and then watching 3 minute highlight reels with the loudest, most obnoxious music possible? Messi and Ronaldo fans arguing who dodged taxes best? Then, Crap 90s Football is the palate cleanser for all that.

Rummaging through old highlight videotapes, this account has a ever growing collection of highly technical play build-up, howlers, players overestimating their skills, terrific terrifying finishing, great assists, pitch-assisted mistakes, terrible decisions and fantastic moves if they were on the opposite goal (or everything in one), from the pre and early Premier League era (and first years of the passback rule that led to a lot of hilarity), as well as lower divisions and foreign leagues.

posted by lmfsilva (7 comments total)

1) It's not too late to sign up for the Mefi Fantasy Football Challenge!

2) If you like the retro look at the Premier League, The Guardian's resident football cartoonist, David Squires, has been doing a look back at the past 25 years of the Premier League.

3) The Neymar thing has me on tenderhooks as I know if he leaves Barca, Liverpool will lose Coutinho and we'll be left with a bunch of superfast wingers with no cunning wizards to pass to them.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:11 AM on August 3, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is amazing and I thank you. This Ed Grimley maneuver in particular had me in tears.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:29 AM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

Oh, and it may have cost me a significant chunk of my artist earnings for the year, but I'll be attending LFC v Arsenal in a few weeks. Looking forward to my several hundred pound hospitality lunch! And if the stars are right, I hope to take my son to see AFC Wimbledon's visit to Barnet for the EFL Cup.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:39 AM on August 3, 2017 [2 favorites]

What a wonderful post; it's made my morning much better.

> This Ed Grimley maneuver in particular had me in tears.

Yes!
posted by languagehat at 8:29 AM on August 3, 2017

This Ed Grimley maneuver in particular had me in tears.

I actually said out loud to this one, "What the fuck is wrong with you!" Shit players, dumb mistakes, and bad touches happen (ahem, Mr. Devine) but I've seen my own showboating overconfident dickweed forwards do exactly this far too many times.
posted by cmoj at 8:29 AM on August 3, 2017

My favorite thing about this carnival of tragedy is how easy it is to lose track of which team is attacking and which is defending because everyone keeps doing incredibly dumb stuff poorly.
posted by Copronymus at 8:51 AM on August 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

This is a total delight and what gifs were born to do. Thank you for posting!
posted by mixedmetaphors at 1:02 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]