Ottawa archbishop surprised by negative reaction to robotic spider
August 3, 2017 11:55 AM   Subscribe

 
the other giant robot is a dragon and my friend helen was complaining about "the dragon outside" for 3 whole days before we all realized it was not a metaphor for an annoying neighbor.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:57 AM on August 3, 2017 [19 favorites]


Two types of people in the world. Those who express shock at such events, and those who think with secret satisfaction, it has begun.
posted by triage_lazarus at 11:59 AM on August 3, 2017 [16 favorites]


So are the paths of all that forget God; and the hypocrite’s hope shall perish, whose hope shall be cut off and whose trust shall be a spider’s web.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:03 PM on August 3, 2017 [5 favorites]


Currently my fave story of the Silly Season
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:05 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


They should just write back to the complainants and solicit funds to move the church so it won't be in the way 150 years from now when they will celebrate again.
posted by srboisvert at 12:06 PM on August 3, 2017




Heh. I was in this exact church three years ago. I was puttering around Ottawa taking photos, and it was open to the public, so I went in to look around.

I removed my hat and quietly made my way around the mostly-empty sanctuary, snapping a few pics. As I got to the front, a fellow who was kneeling in prayer in a pew started very loudly and passive aggressively...well, PRAYING AT ME. Something along the lines of "LORD FORGIVE THEM BECAUSE THEY THINK THIS IS A MERE TOURIST ATTRACTION FOR THEM TO COME AND TAKE PHOTOS OF..." blah blah blah.

I thought of whispering to him "Does it make it better or worse that I'm gay?" but decided that starting a throwdown in a church would be bad form.

So I kind of wonder if one of the complaints about Kumo the spider came from that guy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:09 PM on August 3, 2017 [48 favorites]


The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect, over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked; his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times so abominable in his eyes as the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:21 PM on August 3, 2017 [16 favorites]


You know the economy is screwed when even the demons are losing their jobs to robots!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:24 PM on August 3, 2017 [21 favorites]


And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good. Then some asshole complained about it.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:25 PM on August 3, 2017 [24 favorites]


Hey, at least now it seems like the monsters at the Catholic church are on the outside.
posted by notorious medium at 12:37 PM on August 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; For this is hydraulic fluid of the new testament, which is shed to transfer power to my robotic limbs.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:47 PM on August 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


"I'm not crying for myself. I'm cryin' for you. They say that great beasts once roamed this world. Big as mountains. Yet all that's left of them is bone and amber. Time undoes even the mightiest creatures. Just look what it's done to you. One day, you will perish. You will like with the rest of your kind in the dirt. Your dreams forgotten, your horrors faced, your muscles will turn to sand, and upon that sand a new God will walk, one that will never die, because this world doesn't belong to you or the people who came before. It belongs to someone who is yet to come" a giant robot spider monster, clearly.
posted by mordax at 12:49 PM on August 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


expressed regret

Must have missed a day or two of basic training. The correct approach would have been to issue a flat denial that any such creature had ever been anywhere near his cathedral; and if that were challenged, to double down and insist that anybody claiming to have seen a rock spider given sanctuary could only have been motivated by malice and that further attempts to bring the Church into disrepute in this fashion would be taken as cause to sue.
posted by flabdablet at 12:52 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


There were giant ^SPIDERS^ in the earth on the roof in those days.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:05 PM on August 3, 2017 [2 favorites]


a fellow who was kneeling in prayer in a pew started very loudly and passive aggressively...well, PRAYING AT ME

Could have started delightedly snapping pictures of him, and yelling for your spouse (real or imagined). "Look honey, a local cultist engaged in his barbaric rituals!"

Not, of course, that I would ever do, or suggest such behavior...
posted by evilDoug at 1:08 PM on August 3, 2017 [14 favorites]


Mulling a mefi name change to Archbishop of Ottawa.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 1:17 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


IT'S JUST A DISTRACTION SHEEPLE.
posted by Etrigan at 1:22 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


As Bloodborne shows us, it is possible to take spiders clinging to churches too far.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 1:23 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Mulling a mefi name change to Archbishop of Ottawa.

Sorry, too much like my own username, I'd have to sue you.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 1:28 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Could have started delightedly snapping pictures of him, and yelling for your spouse (real or imagined). "Look honey, a local cultist engaged in his barbaric rituals!"

In one of those "the ultimate sick burn pops into your mind three hours later" moments, I realized I could have said, "Pfffft. Everyone knows the REAL Notre Dame is in Paris."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:30 PM on August 3, 2017 [7 favorites]


...critics called the spider’s placement “sacrilegious,” “demonic,” and “disrespectful” of a sacred space.

Critics were then reminded that Catholics are basically the reason for the existence of the word "gargoyle," and then politely asked to leave the premises.
posted by solotoro at 1:46 PM on August 3, 2017 [10 favorites]


In (some parts of) Austria we refer to those sanctimonious, performative Catholics as "those people chewing off the Lord's toes" and "candle swallowers".
posted by Omnomnom at 1:53 PM on August 3, 2017 [10 favorites]


As Bloodborne shows us, it is possible to take spiders clinging to churches too far.

I still think that Dark Souls is a metaphor for the Archdiocese of Ottawa.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:20 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


SOME CATHEDRAL

TERRIFIC

RADIANT

HUMBLE
posted by adept256 at 2:23 PM on August 3, 2017 [20 favorites]


I didn't know Jon Peters was in the church now! Good for him.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:48 PM on August 3, 2017


I dont know, I think that it was disrespectful. I think some places have a distinct use, and are not placed their for cheap spectacle. I think it breaks the sancity of the place.
posted by PinkMoose at 2:58 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm willing to bet that this was a very expensive spectacle.
posted by clawsoon at 3:50 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]


Seems like a perfectly normal place to find the Queen Spider.
posted by di11ihd at 3:56 PM on August 3, 2017


Well, Maman is directly across the street from the church:

360 view here.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:00 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


I think some places have a distinct use, and are not placed their for cheap spectacle.

Indeed. Distinct use, like repeatedly promising to forgive those who trespass against you.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:05 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]


Hey, if a giant robot spider comes to your church to pray/confess/get batised/whatever else Catholics do is it really right to turn it away?
posted by Canageek at 4:26 PM on August 3, 2017


It's not like they let it inside. They just let it climb up the water spout.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:30 PM on August 3, 2017 [12 favorites]


The spider on top of the basilica was the first thing I saw of La Machine. And I thought it was super cool of the church to let them do that. Some people need to relax.
posted by aclevername at 5:27 PM on August 3, 2017


I went to Les Machines de l'île in Nantes last year and it was super cool! I wish the giant spider was on my roof.
posted by just_ducky at 7:01 PM on August 3, 2017


I think it's cool that the archbishop allowed it in the first place. Just because you're religious doesn't mean you can't appreciate art and a bit of weird robot fun. Presumably he wanted his church to be part of a wider community celebration, even if it drew ire from some conservative Catholics. Complainers gonna complain.
posted by emd3737 at 8:20 PM on August 3, 2017 [6 favorites]


I think some places have a distinct use, and are not placed their for cheap spectacle.

Spectacle is the whole point of a cathedral. Otherwise why not build a smaller, more modest church?
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:28 PM on August 3, 2017 [13 favorites]


No one had a problem with the Peace Fountain at Saint John the Divine, did they?
posted by StickyCarpet at 4:25 AM on August 4, 2017


In (some parts of) Austria we refer to those sanctimonious, performative Catholics as "those people chewing off the Lord's toes" and "candle swallowers".

I call 'em Robo-Catholics. The ones who know the liturgy by heart and sit directly behind one reciting it in a loud, mechanical voice.

There's nothing wrong with crossing oneself or genflecting before the Cross (or venerating it, as we Episcopalians do, with a Sarum bow). We call it an "outward, visible sign of inward grace," and it functions much as a brief, nonverbal prayer. But, yeah, that kind of exhibitionism is kind of cringemaking.

Boy, that guy would hate Taiwanese temples. They are a big, noisy, sacred, profane center of chaos.
posted by tully_monster at 10:23 AM on August 4, 2017


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