I wonder if we fart less than cows...

August 3, 2017 8:00 PM

Choosing beans could help with climate change. A team of scientists has figured out that if Americans ate beans instead of beef, we could be a long way towards reaching our 2020 climate goals under Obama. Embrace the legume!
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee (28 comments total)

Embrace the legume!

Only if I can overthink it first. And I might need to DTMFB later.
posted by MonkeyToes at 8:09 PM on August 3, 2017

Yay beans! I'm gonna get my fiber, stop promoting an industry that mistreats cows, and stick it to our climate-denying administration, all in one.
posted by daisystomper at 8:18 PM on August 3, 2017 [10 favorites]

Good time to brush up on the "how to fart silently" ask.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:25 PM on August 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

I'm poor. Beans already comprise half of my diet. HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

(Also there had better be some damn good beanplating jokes in here.)
posted by elsietheeel at 8:36 PM on August 3, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm more into beefplating, myself.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:37 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

Better take the pulse of the room before starting in with legume jokes.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:37 PM on August 3, 2017 [9 favorites]

Is this economically feasible? I hear the exchange rate is three beans for one cow.
posted by adept256 at 8:42 PM on August 3, 2017 [12 favorites]

Beans, beans, the magical legume,
The more we eat, the less beef we consume,
The less beef we consume, the cooler the climate,
So eat beans, before we all die, mate.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:54 PM on August 3, 2017 [35 favorites]

Eating beef is a solid part of cultural identity in some parts of the United States. I don't choose to eat beef often, but as a native Texan, I regularly get into elitist barbecue discussions with my Californian acquaintances. I've got an uncle who is fond of promoting the consumption of rare steak. It's associated with ranchers and cowboy culture. But damnit if I won't eat more beans. There's no substituting the flavor of good steak (yet), but veggie burgers are pretty good and I find I prefer tofu banh mi to any of the beef or even pork options.

If we can't get people to eat beef, the least we can do is get ranchers to feed their cattle red seaweed. It makes for healthier cattle and reduced methane "leakage" by 99%.
posted by Mister Cheese at 9:10 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

I've helped save the climate this way since January 1, 1970 (when I was 17), so I can honestly say that I never had a hamburger, meatloaf, steak, bacon, etc. Never missed any of it, and never wanted to eat it - even during the 10 years when I was a chef (in some fine Copenhagen restaurants) and prepared meat for customers. I stopped eating meat because I moved from my parents home and was living an extremely frugal life (writing poetry in a tiny room on a roof in Jerusalem, for about $40/month), and because I was a buddhist and a pacifist, basically a wallflower). But it so happened that this was probably the most significant life choice that I've made. Because even though I never followed a specific healthy lifestyle, I've never been sick. Now that I am 64, sometimes I get headaches, and I probably taken 6-8 aspirins in the last year, but that's about it. There're enough delicious & honest fruits and beens and veggies in the world to live happily ever after on.
posted by growabrain at 9:29 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

Hell yeah beans. Italian, French, Mexican, Middle Eastern, North African, North American, Central American and above all Indian cuisine can do amazing things with beans for dirt, dirt cheap.
posted by Philipschall at 9:29 PM on August 3, 2017

Lifecycle energy & material costs are really hard. I spent a bit of time trying to estimate these for fun about a decade, and it's amazing how opaque it all is, even to experts.

For example, I once tried figuring out how much energy I'd save by biking to work, figuring a back-of-the-envelope calculation would be sufficient because I'd use 90% less so any estimate would be "I save a lot". Reasonable estimate were all over the map (AFAICT from reading people who actually know stuff, it's maybe 2-3x less energy per mile for me. I drive a small, fuel efficient car.) Estimates for energy use & production for big energy plants--nuclear and solar--are all over the map.

The exception is replacing meat with vegetables. It's really easy to find that being a vegetarian saves a lot. I'm not one personally but meat should definitely be a luxury, not a staple.
posted by mark k at 9:58 PM on August 3, 2017 [1 favorite]

I don't care about the environment anymore and I will continue eating steak and no one can stop me.

nb i eat beef maybe 2x a month buT NO ONE CAN STOP ME ok
posted by poffin boffin at 10:12 PM on August 3, 2017 [5 favorites]

fuck beans
posted by poffin boffin at 10:12 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]

yea to beans
posted by growabrain at 10:55 PM on August 3, 2017

We went vegetarian back at Easter and based on the huge volume of bean-based dishes we've eaten since then, I'd say bean-based dishes are also much more interesting than beef-based ones.

And cheap, which means nicer wine. Yay!
posted by dowcrag at 12:16 AM on August 4, 2017

I think canavanine is going to be more if a problem than people realize, and it'll be hard to get rid of because the nitrogen-fixing bacteria in the root nodules use it as a quorum senser, and it seems very likely that the plant needs it to manage them.
posted by jamjam at 12:42 AM on August 4, 2017

I applaud the cogent titling.
posted by Segundus at 1:37 AM on August 4, 2017

Beans, beans, the magical legume

And then there's the one from some old British sitcom (The Two Ronnies possibly?), from an episode with a newspaper competition to write an ad jingle for beans:

“Baked beans make delicious starters
Join the happy band of ...”
posted by acb at 3:11 AM on August 4, 2017

We went vegetarian back at Easter and based on the huge volume of bean-based dishes we've eaten since then, I'd say bean-based dishes are also much more interesting than beef-based ones.

I must have never had a decent cut of beef, because I never find myself enjoying it very much. All winter long, though, I'll make great crockpot messes of pintos, navy beans, black eyed peas, lentils, etc. I joke with my wife that this is the reason we've never been plagued by bedbugs.

Also, please don't light that cigarette.
posted by metagnathous at 3:12 AM on August 4, 2017

I did a little google research, and cows expel more methane from belching than farting, so lets include that. Estimates range between 100-500 litres. Let's say 300.

Humans expel about half a litre.

7 billion human assholes * 1/2 litre = 3.5 billion litres of methane
1.4 billion bovine assholes and mouth-holes * 300 litres. = 420 billion litres of methane

Cows win, though it comes out of both ends for them.

I am not a scientist
posted by adept256 at 3:13 AM on August 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

My top bean tip: Cooked beans can be frozen! We make big pressure cooked batches of different kinds of beans, drain them, then freeze them in gallon Ziplocs, so we always have a multitude of beans on demand, in any quality, large or small, that we wish.
posted by soren_lorensen at 4:45 AM on August 4, 2017

So we're saying cows are have-beans.
posted by quinndexter at 5:23 AM on August 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Spouse is a vegetarian (for more than 25 years) because he basically does not think it makes sense to keep some animals as pets and others as food. I have de facto been a vegetarian for more than 10 years now but have long considered beef a luxury. I don't choose to eat any pig product and don't like any poultry (except duck, honestly) so the shift to almost entirely vegetarian has not actually made much of a difference in my diet.

Everything in Pop Science for the Enlightened Consumer from global climate change to diet news to how not to get cancer to water pollution to being kind to animals seems to agree on only this one thing: eat mostly plants. But think of all the changes that have to happen to get American society to a place where we're not eating large portions of meat at two or three meals a day. Not just in agriculture and in home cooking, but in fast food, in self-concept (BBQs,anyone?).

I made the shift without any real effort, honestly. because I've never been fond of steak--nor ground beef--and never liked cooking meat at home for one person. But, as often comes up around here, there's a lot of privilege that influences how one cooks at home, what one can cook at home easily, and how simple a shift in those patterns might be,

Which does not even get into what do we do with all the existing beef cows?
posted by crush at 7:46 AM on August 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

There're enough delicious & honest fruits and beens and veggies in the world to live happily ever after on.

I mean, if you can eat them.

I went vegetarian for 2 years and by the end of it I felt the worst I ever had in my entire life because, as it turns out, I had developed an allergy to almost everything I was eating (at the age of goddamn 30). Something I finally connected the dots on after a literally 2 minute long sneezing fit after eating snap peas from my garden. I'd been seeing a nutritionist to try to keep everything right, even. Actually, the snap peas thing was enough to make me suspicious, but it wasn't until I broke out in hives after eating a bunch of peanut butter that I finally actually went to see my doctor. My arm was a fucking mess when they tested potential allergens on my skin and the blood tests came back even worse. Most of these allergies are not life-threatening. But they make my life absolutely miserable to live. The vast majority of fruits are a no-go for me unless I want to feel horrifically sick for 3 hours after eating them.

I'm all behind the idea of people who can do it going vegetarian or vegan, and definitely on people cutting down on meat in general, but it'd be nice if people remembered that some of us really can't. My body barely lets me eat anything as it is. It's very frustrating when this gets left out of the discussion or, worse, moralized on.

Anyway. This is awesome regardless:

[...] even if people kept eating chicken and pork and eggs and cheese—this one dietary change could achieve somewhere between 46 and 74 percent of the reductions needed to meet the target.

I barely eat any beef at this point as it is (pork and chicken, mostly) and while I'm sure offsetting the influence of beef to other meats rather than going to beans is less significant it's nice to know it's still something.
posted by suddenly, and without warning, at 7:52 AM on August 4, 2017 [4 favorites]

Yeah, my stomach is pretty messed up, and unfortunately, beans aren't really an option for me. I see a dietician every so often, and I mentioned that I'd been thinking of going vegetarian. She said, basically "I don't think what you need right now is to further restrict your food choices." I don't think most people are arguing that there could never be exceptions ("everyone must eat only beans!"), but it's frustrating that I have yet to see meat alternatives that would actually work for me.

That said, yeah, I don't know how many people have this problem, but even if only half the people in the country could make the beef-->beans switch, it would have a huge impact.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 8:41 AM on August 4, 2017

I have been vegetarian for probably about 16 or 17 years now, and at one point while she was still trying to get her head around the idea my (now 88 year old) grandmother asked what I *ate* if I didn't eat meat. I pointed out to her that she probably hadn't eaten meat all that much when she was young, almost certainly not at every meal or anything close to it, that she had probably eaten a lot of pinto beans with potatoes and cornbread and maybe some fatback or salt pork to flavor the beans. She admitted this was true and seemed much struck by it. So this all sounds more like reverting to the traditional diet of poor hillbillies like my family: beans'n'taters.
posted by dilettante at 3:00 PM on August 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

I have been vegetarian for probably about 16 or 17 years now, and at one point while she was still trying to get her head around the idea my (now 88 year old) grandmother asked what I *ate* if I didn't eat meat. I pointed out to her that she probably hadn't eaten meat all that much when she was young, almost certainly not at every meal or anything close to it, that she had probably eaten a lot of pinto beans with potatoes and cornbread and maybe some fatback or salt pork to flavor the beans. She admitted this was true and seemed much struck by it. So this all sounds more like reverting to the traditional diet of poor hillbillies like my family: beans'n'taters.

I was vegetarian for a period in my youth, as is common, and this was exactly the way my grandparents understood and came to terms with my dietary choice. They were kind and very supportive, but they clearly found it absolutely mystifying why I would voluntarily eat the way they had been forced to by poverty and had spent years of extraordinary effort to escape and create a better life for their children and grandchildren.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:42 AM on August 5, 2017 [1 favorite]