We jumped the shark in, like, Episode 2
August 10, 2017 7:55 AM   Subscribe

 
I kind of want a small form Worst Idea of All Time podcast, only instead of a film like Sex in the City 2 or Grown Ups 2 being analyzed and discussed each week, it's this scene and just this scene. Every week we get another 15-30 minute podcast that expands on this scene.

Please, take my money!
posted by Fizz at 8:03 AM on August 10 [5 favorites]


There's SOOOO much happening in this scene. I mean, I only half-watched this series when it was airing live back in the day and I kind of grew out of my CW tv-watching stage right around the second half of Smallville. But, I want to deep dive on this scene. Maybe I should make this podcast that I'm wanting.
posted by Fizz at 8:06 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


OMG, this gives me hope that one day I can have the short internet article of my dreams, An Oral History Of The Episode Where ER Killed Dr. Romano With Another Goddamned Helicopter.

It was a Thanksgiving episode. Why?!
posted by maryr at 8:18 AM on August 10 [39 favorites]


I immediately balked, because of course organs aren't transplanted in Styrofoam packing containers with a little bit of ice, but my research suggests to me that maybe they are.
posted by maxsparber at 8:23 AM on August 10 [4 favorites]


From the article:
It’s more egregious than anything that’s ever happened on Grey’s Anatomy.
Give the writer's time...
posted by Fizz at 8:30 AM on August 10 [1 favorite]


I'm so glad they interviewed Joel McHale for this because I discovered this through The Soup and it really was one of the best clips they ever showed.

I immediately balked, because of course organs aren't transplanted in Styrofoam packing containers with a little bit of ice, but my research suggests to me that maybe they are.

Yeah, sometimes they are; sometimes they use real coolers and will actually show you the organ before they put it in you. When my partner was getting his new liver, someone rolled by with a cooler when we were waiting for him to go into pre-op and while I was taking a picture of the cooler, he was drugged up enough to shout "IS THAT MY LIVER?" and they said "we hope so" (because they had to do some final tests) and he was drugged up enough to say "CAN I SEE IT?" and they asked "do you want to?" and I said "YES!" for both of us even though I was on no drugs at all. It was incredible, just there in a plastic bag like something you'd buy in a cannibal grocers and the idea that it's been INSIDE HIM for four years never and I've SEEN IT never doesn't blow my mind when I think about it.

There were no dogs around though.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:34 AM on August 10 [124 favorites]


Update: I am only half way through this article and it is AMAZING and everyone should read it, if for nothing else, for Catfish's redemption.
posted by maryr at 8:37 AM on August 10 [10 favorites]


I have never had more respect for an actor than I do right now for Paul Johansson in that beach gif.
posted by maryr at 8:39 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


In The Living Daylights, there's a scene where the bad guys smuggle diamonds in a cooler of ice containing an animal heart they were passing off as a human transplant organ. Maybe this scene would have been better if there were diamond smugglers trying to grab the cooler because their diamonds are in it, and that's how the cooler gets spilled, and then the dog grabs the heart while the crooks are furiously snatching up the diamonds and waving guns around and the dog slips away in the confusion. I think that might have made it even better.
posted by Naberius at 8:44 AM on August 10 [1 favorite]


Eugene Storozynsky, MD, PhD (director of Cardio-Oncology Clinic, University of Rochester Medical Center): I mean, there would be absolutely no way that a cat or a dog or any other animal would ever be found inside a hospital.

THEY GOT A REAL HEART SURGEON TO COMMENT!

This may be the best article ever written.
posted by Frayed Knot at 8:46 AM on August 10 [19 favorites]


Eugene Storozynsky, MD, PhD (director of Cardio-Oncology Clinic, University of Rochester Medical Center): I mean, there would be absolutely no way that a cat or a dog or any other animal would ever be found inside a hospital.

While I appreciate that they found an MD to say this, it is categorically not true. Many hospitals have pet therapy programs.

Now I have Well, actually-ed a post about a show I have never even heard of.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:49 AM on August 10 [37 favorites]


Yeah, but that's not true. Service dogs? Therapy dogs? Dogs are in hospitals all the time!
posted by Sys Rq at 8:52 AM on August 10 [1 favorite]


what preview button?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:54 AM on August 10 [12 favorites]


Sophie1: It was a terrible show. Just terrible. The Vampire Diaries of its day. I forgot it revolved around basketball at one point until this article. Reading this article is more than all you will ever need to know about this show. But it was on after Gilmore Girls at one point, so we watched it.
posted by maryr at 8:59 AM on August 10 [3 favorites]


Haynes: The funniest thing is, nobody in the scene makes an attempt to get the heart back.

They should have gotten the cardio-oncologist to weigh in on the Five Second Rule.
posted by ejs at 9:04 AM on August 10 [19 favorites]


The therapy dog was my first thought, too, but my second thought was that I prefer the elaborate side story of the stoned guy and the delivery guy tripping over the leash, so I'm in favor of those writers not knowing about therapy dogs in hospitals.

I also really like how everyone is just milling around there in the main waiting room, and I think it's maybe plausible that, if that happened, everyone would just sort of stand around like SPLUH?

I have never seen this show, but now I kind of wish I had.
posted by ernielundquist at 9:05 AM on August 10


PRETTY BUMMED that they chose not to go with the “disarming a nuclear device with a perfect basketball shot” plot. Even as good as dog-eating-heart is.

Also SUPER stoked that CMM asked for notes on what his character would be feeling. Very interested in that process.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 9:08 AM on August 10 [5 favorites]


(Therapy dogs are trained to ignore food that's dropped on the ground, so that wouldn't work as an explanation, but then again it's a rare therapy dog that's specifically trained to ignore a no-doubt-delicious human heart.)
posted by muddgirl at 9:14 AM on August 10 [11 favorites]


i've never heard of this before but that's amazing the entire article, i would not believe this was a thing unless i had watched the actual scene
posted by glonous keming at 9:18 AM on August 10 [4 favorites]


Maybe the therapy dog would just pick up the heart and transport it away for safe-keeping in a move rife with symbolism
posted by ejs at 9:20 AM on August 10 [7 favorites]


i would not believe this was a thing unless i had watched the actual scene

I'm still not entirely convinced.
posted by redsparkler at 9:28 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


Totally thought this was clickhole until I looked at the URL.
posted by dinty_moore at 9:51 AM on August 10 [8 favorites]


I know a guy who cut off three fingers with a rotary saw. Two were reattached and his cat ran off with one.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:03 AM on August 10 [20 favorites]


I feel like the genius show Hill Street Blues so upped my expectations that ridiculous shit could happen in key dramatic moments that this dog-heart thing isn't even pinging my "ridiculous!" meter.

Not to say it isn't a great article, though. And a beautiful dog.
posted by allthinky at 10:12 AM on August 10


MCMikeNamara: CAN I SEE IT?

Um..did you take a picture of the liver?
Can we see it?
Is that way too personal to want to see your partner's liver?
I'm totally fascinated and really want to see your partner's pre-op liver in a cooler. Is that weird?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:12 AM on August 10 [6 favorites]


oh goddd this show! I remember watching it back when I was into all the CW dramas. I gave it a go for as long as I could suffer the inanity. But trying to follow the This-Is-Us-of-the-time show Everwood was tough.

I remember this scene, like you couldn't help but half cheering and half sympathizing for Dan. He was such a terrible person, and then tried so hard to redeem himself. Like, CMM's face was my face! That "I feel sorry for you but you kinda deserve a dog running away with your replacement heart" face.
posted by numaner at 10:25 AM on August 10 [1 favorite]


Therapy dogs are trained to ignore food that's dropped on the ground
***************************************************
** Please Do Not Refer to Human Organs as Food **
**                 - Hosp. Mgmt **
***************************************************
posted by solotoro at 10:26 AM on August 10 [23 favorites]


Maybe the therapy dog would just pick up the heart and transport it away for safe-keeping in a move rife with symbolism

No, see, the symbolism is that Dan, who is a bad, thoughtless person, has no heart.

Because a dog ate it. A dog stole his heart? Wait, no, this stopped working immediately.
posted by maryr at 10:27 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


I know a guy who cut off three fingers with a rotary saw. Two were reattached and his cat ran off with one.

My god, that's horrible! Whose fingers were they?
posted by Naberius at 10:27 AM on August 10 [23 favorites]


If they were a chicken's this story is easily explained.
posted by maryr at 10:27 AM on August 10 [3 favorites]


I think it is vitally important that it was NOT a therapy dog, but was explicitly a STONED dog with a case of the munchies. That's backstory. That's motivation.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:45 AM on August 10 [24 favorites]


This was the opening of the episode. Where the hell do you go after that? I hope it was just 40 minutes of every character who was ever on One Tree Hill calling each other up to ask if they'd heard about Dan's heart.

"Yeah, Sophia Bush's character just texted me. I guess a collie ate it? That's the craziest goddamn thing I ever heard."
posted by Iridic at 10:45 AM on August 10 [11 favorites]


lol CMM declined to comment for the article. was he too busy creeping at miss teen usa pageants.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:49 AM on August 10 [1 favorite]


(Therapy dogs are trained to ignore food that's dropped on the ground, so that wouldn't work as an explanation, but then again it's a rare therapy dog that's specifically trained to ignore a no-doubt-delicious human heart.)
posted by muddgirl


Uh, this is untrue as well. One of my dogs is a therapy dog and will happily eat anything that even kind-of resembles food on the floor, including cigarette butts. Therapy dogs go through rigorous temperament testing but are only required to have Canine Good Citizen - level obedience.
posted by workerant at 11:06 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


Too bad we can't require people to meet that standard. One person in particular.
posted by Naberius at 11:21 AM on August 10


Solotoro, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. If ever you wonder your worth as a Mefite contributor, you made a complete stranger devolve into a puddle of laughter today.
posted by greermahoney at 11:24 AM on August 10 [2 favorites]


Um..did you take a picture of the liver?
Can we see it?
Is that way too personal to want to see your partner's liver?


It's funny you should ask, and especially ask the follow-up questions, because for a while, we were sad that I was so stunned that I didn't manage to take a picture. But now it's sort of a fun thing that we're the only people (other than the medical staff) who have seen it.

It's probably for the best though because I'm pretty sure my dude would use it as his avatar on all social media.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:30 AM on August 10 [14 favorites]


Yeah, I'm going to need that report on my desk by end-of-day. Can't. Dog ate my heart. You have been selected for jury duty. Can't. Dog ate my heart. Honey, can you take the trash out? Can't. Dog ate my heart.

Man - talk about your get out of jail free card! There's just nothing you can't get out of when a goddamn dog literally devours your heart. So jealous!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:34 AM on August 10 [3 favorites]


Therapy dogs go through rigorous temperament testing but are only required to have Canine Good Citizen - level obedience.

CGC dogs should have at a minimum a cued "Leave it" even if it's not explicitly tested in the exam. Ignoring distractions in general is part of CGC and ignoring food on the ground while on leash is kind of implicitly taught as part of general leash skills. I didn't mean to imply that therapy dogs were universally trained to default-ignore food when they were off-leash! That's pretty advanced!
posted by muddgirl at 11:57 AM on August 10


Wait, wait, tell me this isn't also the show that had that season finale shooting with the Mmm Whatcha' Say thing that SNL ran with. It wasn't was it?
posted by Naberius at 12:10 PM on August 10


Eugene Storozynsky, MD, PhD (director of Cardio-Oncology Clinic, University of Rochester Medical Center): I mean, there would be absolutely no way that a cat or a dog or any other animal would ever be found inside a hospital.

I completely lost it at this point in the article, laughing hysterically, crying on desk, etc.
posted by clockzero at 12:15 PM on August 10


Wait, wait, tell me this isn't also the show that had that season finale shooting with the Mmm Whatcha' Say thing that SNL ran with. It wasn't was it?

That was The OC. I'm sure somebody's made a mashup of the scene though.
posted by kmz at 12:18 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


I was unable to quickly find one but if you use the OC video and then start the One Tree Hill video with the sound off right after the gunshot in the OC video, it is everything you would want it to be if you are a person who wants things like this.

(I am.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:04 PM on August 10 [6 favorites]


“The freakin’ heart’s right there, Catfish. Pick it up! Get it, Catfish!”

I love this.
posted by brundlefly at 1:15 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


And why, in the name of all that is holy, does [Chad Michael Murray] look at [Paul Johansson] with a look on his face that seems to say, “I told you so”?

This is where I lost it
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 1:35 PM on August 10 [6 favorites]


I want a feature length anthology film that's just multiple directors remaking this scene.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:45 PM on August 10 [13 favorites]


That's a hell of a scene. What do you call it?

The ARISTOCRATS!
posted by Naberius at 1:51 PM on August 10 [2 favorites]


I was unable to quickly find one but if you use the OC video yt and then start the One Tree Hill video yt with the sound off right after the gunshot in the OC video, it is everything you would want it to be if you are a person who wants things like this.

Tried my hand at a little mashup thingy.
posted by kmz at 2:14 PM on August 10 [7 favorites]


I immediately balked, because of course organs aren't transplanted in Styrofoam packing containers with a little bit of ice, but my research suggests to me that maybe they are.

Yeah, sometimes they are; sometimes they use real coolers and will actually show you the organ before they put it in you.


Back in the day (late nineties) when I was moonlighting for FedEx in Memphis, we'd have boxes with the somewhat-disturbing vague label "Transplant Material" and the biohazard logo ☣️ come through the sorter (think a really huge baggage claim) occasionally. I always dreaded one breaking open. (Conversely, I secretly hoped that we'd get to see a live lobster, because those would come through more frequently, and was dying to see one come along the conveyor belt, waving its rubberbanded claws in the air.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:18 PM on August 10 [2 favorites]


Well, whaddya expect from an episode directed by Crazy Joe Davola?!
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 2:33 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


One thing they don't mention is that Michael Schur essentially willed this article into being.
posted by creade at 2:34 PM on August 10 [6 favorites]


And was this or was this not around the same time that ER had a scene where one of the lower-ranked doctors dropped a heart on the floor and it got kicked around the operating room?
posted by headspace at 2:40 PM on August 10


I never watched OTH and never even heard about this scene, but I'm really glad to have been introduced to such a monumental moment. This post totally made my afternoon.
posted by mixedmetaphors at 3:13 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


Was the rest of this show as crazy? Asking for a friend.
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:01 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


Tried my hand at a little mashup thingy.

Oh my god, KMZ, it's perfect!
posted by Naberius at 4:47 PM on August 10


Yeah, I too had never heard of this show, or this scene, but this has been a delight!
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:15 PM on August 10


My own personal dog came to visit me in the hospital...while I was being evaluated for a heart transplant.
Did...did she eat my heart?
posted by katemonster at 7:59 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]


No, katemonster, she's IN your heart.

*audience awwwwwws*
posted by brundlefly at 12:14 AM on August 11 [3 favorites]


Was the rest of this show as crazy?

Not at first. It started out as a (relatively) down-to-earth teen drama, then got soapier and soapier after the initial conflicts of the premise wrapped up.

A typical Season 1 plotline is Nathan must decide which of his parents to live with after the divorce. By Season 9, you get Nathan is kidnapped by eastern European gangsters in cahoots with elements of the Tree Hill Police Department. Somewhere in the middle, Joe Manganiello shows up as an alcoholic SlamBall player.
posted by Iridic at 8:15 AM on August 11 [2 favorites]


Had the director and producer never heard of HIRING A DOG TRAINER, oh my god, who just goes and gets a dog and just cheers it on to try to convince it to eat a heart, why would you ever think that would start to work
posted by nicodine at 8:59 AM on August 11


Does the fact that the dog puts the heart in its mouth bulbous end first make it way worse for anyone else? Like I see that and get this feeling in my throat like I'm choking on an inflated balloon.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:31 AM on August 11


No, katemonster, she's IN your heart.

That dog hair gets *everywhere*.
posted by maryr at 12:15 PM on August 11


I've never seen this show before (although i remember hearing about it when it was on), but i have been reading theringer lately, so i actually saw it there and then found this thread. What was weird to me was that they had a couple of comments nitpicking the fake ice in the styrofoam, but somehow no one seems to have noticed the atrocious continuity editing between the three main shots of the scene. The guy trips and the styrofoam container falls just in front of him and a little to his right. The heart goes flying, almost to the black line that marks the doorway. The transplantee reacts. In the next shot, the dog moves toward the heart, but the styrofoam container is now far away and to the left of the guy who fell and the heart is right in front of him. No ice is visible here. Then in the close up of the dog picking the heart up, the styrofoam container is back to his right, and right next to him, and there's plenty of ice.

I sorta felt like the people who made this episode were past the point of caring, but, as someone who works in a creative field, i think when you are trying to do something 'bad' or 'dumb,' then you work even harder to make sure the structure of what you are creating is sound.
posted by Slothrop at 5:37 PM on August 11 [1 favorite]


I have not seen this episode. I have seen an off-lead 'therapy' dog who looked slightly dodgy on the post cardiac surgery ward. Our hospital also has therapy alpacas although they stay outside.
posted by quercus23 at 4:54 AM on August 12 [1 favorite]


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