May 3, 2002

4:25 PM

Mailbox bomber at large."More than a half-dozen pipe bombs were placed in rural mailboxes in Illinois and Iowa on Friday, and at least two people were injured in explosions, the post office said." Part of the note that accompanied the bomb said "PS. More info. will be delivered to various locations around the country." If you live in the midwest, be careful.
posted by Kevin Sanders (19 comments total)

IT'S THE TERRORISTS! RUN!!

(sorry. had to.)
posted by patricking at 4:29 PM on May 3, 2002

He urged people returning home to check their mailboxes and, if they find a pipe and battery inside to call police, the FBI or postal inspectors.

Good sound advice in any situation.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:36 PM on May 3, 2002

in related news, homeland security czar tom ridge increased alert status to terrorcon four, declared martial law and instituted a mandatory round-the-clock curfew in the midwest until further notice. national guardsmen have been dispatched to round up all pistols and rifles in the possession of private citizens. "this is a temporary measure. we do not wish to escalate the mailbox bombings through the accidental actions of a patriotic citizen, no matter how well-meaning. weapons will be returned to thier owners and the midwest curfew will be lifted at the conclusion of the war on terror. those who are not with us are against us."
posted by quonsar at 4:46 PM on May 3, 2002

Yeah, anyways...
posted by Kevin Sanders at 4:54 PM on May 3, 2002

Small potatoes.
posted by donkeyschlong at 5:03 PM on May 3, 2002

posted by quonsar at 5:53 PM on May 3, 2002

Did you make that or was it on Fark?

Clever, nonetheless if you're not a 9/11 victim
posted by Kevin Sanders at 6:16 PM on May 3, 2002

In other news...Calling them "dangerous terrorists who threaten our very way of life", Ridge today called for the arrest and Guantanomo internment of a pair of 16-year old students, who had been arrested after witnesses saw them leaning from a car window brandishing a stick of wood, a trail of shattered postal boxes in their wake.

"This "Mailbox Baseball", as it is known in terrorist lingo, is a seditious act that will not be tolerated." Ridge said. He would not comment on whether or not the Justice Department intended to seek the death penalty.
posted by Optamystic at 6:40 PM on May 3, 2002

Clever, nonetheless if you're not a 9/11 victim

A more concise comparison would have been to the Unabomber victims.

No one has said these are related to 9-11. It sounds more like local loonies.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:49 PM on May 3, 2002

Various Tom Ridge shinola
Remember, it's only funny because nobody died.

This guy is a real fruitball. "The people I've dismissed from this reality are not at all dead." Yeah, whatever. We'll see how well you're dismissing people from your reality inside the asylum, bucko.
posted by darukaru at 7:09 PM on May 3, 2002

Hmmmmm. I live in Illinois and haven't heard a word. Of course, I'm not rural either...
posted by Samizdata at 9:46 PM on May 3, 2002

He urged people returning home to check their mailboxes and, if they find a pipe and battery inside to call police, the FBI or postal inspectors.

These things go off at the touch and they're asking people to open their mailboxes with their bare hands to see if they're bombed? Err, no thanks. Just have the kids throw some rocks at it.
posted by skallas at 9:57 PM on May 3, 2002

Maybe they'll hire someone to drive by in a pickup, swinging a baseball bat at the boxes...
posted by five fresh fish at 10:23 PM on May 3, 2002

maybe it's the mail carrier doing it
posted by tolkhan at 10:42 PM on May 3, 2002

Blows my mind that this crap makes front page news. What a nation of ninnies I live in. Why, back in my day......
posted by spilon at 12:38 AM on May 4, 2002

...we had to walk seven miles, uphill, barefoot, in the winter, to bomb a mailbox.
posted by quonsar at 6:20 AM on May 4, 2002

I wasn't comparing the situation to 9/11... I was comparing the photo of the plane hitting the mailbox.
posted by Kevin Sanders at 8:57 AM on May 4, 2002

LoL, quonsar and Optamystic, hilarious journalism.
posted by hobbes at 1:15 PM on May 4, 2002

"Attention! We're all on a big boat! Can't you see we might sink and die? Here! I'll sink the boat so you'll know I'm right!"

This guy's got a really effed up way of getting his point across to humanity, but considering one has to compete with everything from MTV to Saturday Morning Cartoons in order to make a political statement, I can understand his desperation. The more Americans opt for safety over freedom, the less freedom we have. Okay. I see that. No reason to blow people up to make that point.

Oh by the way, the same thing's happened in Nebraska. Five more pipe bombs have been discovered, but only one casualty was reported last I checked. My guess is it's the work of one guy, probably driving. So the cops can just stake out all the rural roadways in that part of the country and look for suspicious behavior. I doubt he'll be on the run for long. He thinks he's saving American freedoms by doing this. How ironic the guy's about to lose his own freedoms.

I'm sure some fellow MeFi will create a whole new front page post later today to point out the Nebraska thing rather than just use this thread, since I doubt people are still reading this thread. Hopefully whoever does create the new thread will find better links than I can - from CNN, Yahoo or the New York Times.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:58 AM on May 5, 2002