UK politicians trying to get their cats wedged into Parliament

August 17, 2017 3:54 AM

With one Member of Parliament not finding vermin amewsing and resorting to bringing her cats to work, the problem of effective pest control in the corridors of power worsens. Costs are rising - nearly £9k was spent on catching moths and £16k was spent on a hawk to control pigeons in 2016/17 - but rule-making officials remain unpurrsuaded and cats are banned. This is viewed as a negative catitude to felines, as nearby Whitehall has five cats: Larry the Number 10 cat, Palmerston the Foreign Office boss, Gladstone the Treasury puss and Evie and Ossie from the Cabinet office. Even a nearby cathedral has a cat with a book deal. Rat-infested politicans who have complained for years are holding out for some pawsitive news.
posted by Wordshore (27 comments total)

As a side-point, why does it cost nearly £9,000 to catch moths? Thinking I should have tendered for this, as my equipment costs [1] [2] and labour would have been substantially less.
posted by Wordshore at 3:58 AM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

That ... was a-paw-ling.

Has anyone seen Blackadder?
posted by adept256 at 4:11 AM on August 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

But all is not well within Whitehall; Larry and Palmerston just can't get on, following a long tradition of Downing St cats who can't stand each other.
posted by Ziggy500 at 4:22 AM on August 17, 2017 [4 favorites]

Teresa May does not deserve cats. What's next, the Margaret Thatcher Memorial Cat?

There's no such thing as society - let the Tories catch their own mice with their own grubby little fingers, that's what I say.
posted by Frowner at 5:19 AM on August 17, 2017 [15 favorites]

Oh my, Penny Mordaunt's Titania is a lovely creature. Which isn't to take anything away from Gladstone, Palmerston, or even Larry. Fine kitties all. I do hope though Larry becomes a little more accepting of poor Palmerston since having to have another cat shipped to the countryside is going to cause some scandal.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:21 AM on August 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

OMG that title
posted by Omnomnom at 5:32 AM on August 17, 2017 [5 favorites]

When do the cats get wedged into Funkadelic?
posted by hippybear at 6:06 AM on August 17, 2017 [7 favorites]

Ahem! (Meow?) Palmerston and Gladstone have official social media feeds: Palmerston on Twitter and Gladstone on Instagram.
posted by thomas j wise at 6:16 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

They say that Parliament has gone to the dogs, but I never realized how far....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:18 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

If you let cats catch all the vermin in the Palace of Westminster, who will be left to run the government?
posted by briank at 6:23 AM on August 17, 2017 [10 favorites]

Also Cronus, the tarantula who lives on the desk of Tory chief whip Gavin Williamson. (Because of course.)
posted by Catseye at 6:37 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

Their ability to kill things is pretty much the only practical reason to own cats as pets. Our two indoor cats will not rest until anything non-human - from mice to house centipedes to flies - that gets into our house is dead. They're like adorable little Terminators.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:39 AM on August 17, 2017 [4 favorites]

When do the cats get wedged into Funkadelic?

Cats obviously want no part of Funkadelic until George Clinton ditches his Atomic Dog.
posted by gusottertrout at 6:51 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

Okay the timeline on this article is hilarious:

12 July 2016
David Cameron's love for Larry questioned
The Telegraph's James Kirkup accused David Cameron of not loving Larry - saying he calls the cat 'it and not 'he', and is shockingly 'more of a dog person'. This news shook the nation.
posted by orrnyereg at 6:52 AM on August 17, 2017 [8 favorites]

The different cat accounts are hilarious. Especially how they interact with each other and are all dunking on Donald Trump.
posted by Emmy Rae at 6:56 AM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

The Speaker of the House of Commons has a cat called Order. of course.
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:10 AM on August 17, 2017 [6 favorites]

I think #diplomog is one of the best handles/hashtags I have ever encountered! (it belongs to Palmerston in the Foreign Office)
posted by lefty lucky cat at 7:47 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

Ahem! (Meow?) Palmerston and Gladstone have official social media feeds: Palmerston on Twitter and Gladstone on Instagram.

A-paw-logies for the inferior links in the post, and thanks for the better ones in the comments.
posted by Wordshore at 8:22 AM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

Tear the woof off the cocker.
posted by pracowity at 8:56 AM on August 17, 2017

Aw, leave the rats alone. Many are just squeaking by.
posted by Flippervault at 8:57 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

oh my god cats are so cute I can't even handle it
posted by radicalawyer at 8:58 AM on August 17, 2017 [4 favorites]

Their ability to kill things is pretty much the only practical reason to own cats as pets. Our two indoor cats will not rest until anything non-human - from mice to house centipedes to flies - that gets into our house is dead. They're like adorable little Terminators.

My cat just wants to smell bugs. Which means she snorts them. All of them. Pure innocent curiosity. Just like when she wants to see what happens when her nails puncture my skin.
posted by srboisvert at 10:23 AM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

That is an Andy Zoltzmann worthy pun run.
posted by edbles at 12:04 PM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

If you let cats catch all the vermin in the Palace of Westminster, who will be left to run the government?

The mouses of parliament.
posted by adept256 at 1:08 PM on August 17, 2017 [6 favorites]

Palmerston the Foreign Office boss

Pitt the Elder!
posted by Sangermaine at 1:21 PM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

As a side-point, why does it cost nearly £9,000 to catch moths? Thinking I should have tendered for this, as my equipment costs [1] [2] and labour would have been substantially less.

Over here across the pond we put most of the money into deterence.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:56 PM on August 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

Thanks for this. Followed links from Doorkins to the cats of Elder Street. I like this:

Iʼm not sentimental about animals. ... Piggy is buried in the yard. I wrapped him in a cashmere sweater, dug a hole and replaced the flag stone. Iʼm going to put up a headstone with his name on it.
posted by paduasoy at 6:21 PM on August 17, 2017 [2 favorites]