Off the hook
August 17, 2017 3:22 PM   Subscribe

 
ow ow ow ow


ow
posted by GuyZero at 3:25 PM on August 17 [4 favorites]




I fell on the hook, OK?
posted by thelonius at 3:39 PM on August 17 [6 favorites]


I work in a rural ED in Australia and removing fishing hooks from kids is pretty common. We have our own now, but not that long ago we'd provide the medicine and the parents would usually have to provide the wire snippers to cut the hooks - because of the barbs we'd have to push the hooks all the way through, cut the barbed end off, then pull them out.

Thank god for ketamine!
posted by Silentgoldfish at 3:41 PM on August 17 [6 favorites]


ow ow ow ow


ow


Out of their butts.
posted by Artw at 3:41 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


Hm. My little sister once caught my dad's ear with a fishhook, as he was walking behind her while she was casting. I wonder what we did with the hook? Dad snipped it in two with wirecutters as I recall, but we should have kept the pieces.
posted by rewil at 3:45 PM on August 17


There are some big hooks with barbs intact on that board. Did they just get lucky, or is there another way to remove an embedded hook without pushing it all the way through and snipping it?
posted by Midnight Skulker at 3:51 PM on August 17


is there another way to remove an embedded hook without pushing it all the way through and snipping it?

Hoo boy. Is there ever...

How to remove a fish hook - Guide sticks 4 hooks in arm to demonstrate! (Note: features actual hook removal from human flesh)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:00 PM on August 17 [10 favorites]


So I just recently went to the ER for exactly this reason. I was trying to take a fish off the hook, and it flopped, and the hook buried itself past the barb in my hand right between my thumb and forefinger. There was no chance of pushing it all the way through--it would have had to go through who knows what tendons and bone and stuff. So the nurse practitioner at the ER (apparently the resident expert at this) ties a string to the hook, lines it up so it can come out as straight as possible, and gives it a good yank. A little bit of flesh came out with it, but honestly less than I expected. They didn't give me anesthetic. It hurt, but probably not any worse than a shot of Lidocaine would have.
posted by Hypocrite_Lecteur at 4:01 PM on August 17 [8 favorites]


I Googled 'how to remove a fish hook' but then I had to stop watching when the guy stuck a giant hook into his arm.
posted by Bee'sWing at 4:01 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


Which, after not previewing, appears to be one of the methods in mandolin conspiracy's link.
posted by Hypocrite_Lecteur at 4:02 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


Right after I posted this I thought "There must be a whole bunch of how-to videos about fish hook removal on Youtube."

OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:04 PM on August 17 [10 favorites]


I have hung in the air from four very large hooks for around 15 minutes.

I weighed 280 lb or so at the time.

There are no barbs on the hooks, so they come out pretty easy.

It hurts less than you think, but more than a cattle prod.

I got to be on the discovery channel.
posted by poe at 4:06 PM on August 17 [35 favorites]


On one fishing trip last year, my friend drove a (thankfully small) hook into the meaty part of his thumb. ~20 minutes of awkward field, er, "surgery" followed; he ultimately pushed the hook all the way through. Said it hurt like a MF, but afterwards we bandaged it up and kept on fishing. Was a good reminder to *always* carry a solid pair of diagonal cutters in my tackle box for just this sort of emergency.
posted by mosk at 4:08 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


"we won't go into any of the regions where bathing suits cover."

Ow, ow, indeed.
posted by Fuchsoid at 4:16 PM on August 17


I forwarded the CBC link to three friends who grew up in Dryden. They all essentially shrugged and said, yeah, that's what it's like. I have been a few times, but I have never been snagged by a fishhook.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:17 PM on August 17


My dad once had to remove hooks from the mouth and tongue of a dog who thought it would be a good idea to try to eat the tackle. She had the sense to sit very still for it.

I have always been a little afraid of fishing for this reason - that is, the unbearable pointiness of things that are flung rapidly and invisibly through the air. I was also told that a crappie could "fin" you and draw blood from your hands, but possibly I was being messed with at that point.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:19 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]




We had a beagle get into the tackle box as well. It took two of us to hold her still while a third went in with wire cutters.

That dog also encountered at least three skunks and two porcupines, antifreeze, and warfarin in her long life.
posted by poe at 4:22 PM on August 17 [9 favorites]


I have hooked myself and/or been hooked at least half a dozen times, almost always on an errant or wild cast. The worst or at least most personally horrifying was the time I hooked my own thumb and thumbnail at the same time with two points a fairly large treble hook. Trying to cut those points off while the two points were embedded in my finger and transferring forces between the whole treble hook was an adventure in ouch.

Next up would have to be the web of of a thumb, but getting hooked on my back or on the calf of my leg on wild casts and then yanking on it on the follow through for the cast was also shockingly unpleasant. You don't really feel the hook and barb going through, just the yank on the line after it sets.

Thankfully I've never had to go to the ER for a hook. It's always been cutting it off with a pair of snips or dikes and pushing it through. Trying to pull a fishhook out past the barb is never and should never be a thing and is f'ing nightmare fuel.

Interestingly I don't really remembering these hurting nearly as much as the time a very small rock crab grabbed on to the web of my thumb and forefinger, found to a really choice group of nerve endings, clamped down with a tiny little claw and refused to let go for good 30 seconds no matter how much I flailed at it.

Fishing is dangerous and bloody in general even without hooks or any of the sharp, pointy metal bits involved. Fish themselves are very pointy and sharp, sometimes more so on the outside than inside. You can acquire a nasty set of stitches and scars from as little as a dozen pounds of angry barracuda in the close quarters of the back of a boat. Landing a large billfish, sailfish or tuna and having it leap on the deck before you get a chance to gaffe it or club it is like 1000x more dangerous.

It's like trying to catch a muscular torpedo the size of a tiger or alligator that happens to be covered in nasty serrated stone knives or chipped onyx/glass blades with little more than a bit of string and a stick. And, yeah, it can totally see you even above water and it's going to try to aim at you to properly fuck your shit up. It's trapped out of water, is hungry and in hunting mode, and now it's just pissed off at you. These large deep sea sport fish and game fish are generally apex predators that defend themselves against giant squid or orcas or dolphins.

I'm not saying there's anything noble or sporting about it at all, either. Fishing in general is really brutal, gross, cruel and unsporting, and this is especially true for deep sea sportfishing. I don't personally fish any more, but I grew up around it. Though I've thought about it just because fresh fish is tasty.

But it can be incredibly dangerous, and not just for the fish.
posted by loquacious at 4:48 PM on August 17 [18 favorites]


Even though many come in "with their heads hung low," Moir said the anglers, once shot full of freezing and unhooked, are appreciative.

I'm assuming this is referencing numbing the site? Or is this some sort of very specific Canadianism?
posted by Panjandrum at 5:11 PM on August 17


Thank god for ketamine!

If I had a dollar for each time I said this...
posted by Splunge at 5:25 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


Even though many come in "with their heads hung low," Moir said the anglers, once shot full of freezing and unhooked, are appreciative.

I'm assuming this is referencing numbing the site? Or is this some sort of very specific Canadianism?


Yeah, injected (shot) with local anaesthetic (freezing) + hyperbole (full of). I usually hear 'freezing' used in this sense around dentistry, but I didn't think twice about that sentence. Is it a CanadIanism?
posted by rodlymight at 5:36 PM on August 17


"we won't go into any of the regions where bathing suits cover."

Worst. Hookup. Ever.
posted by adept256 at 5:43 PM on August 17 [4 favorites]


My dad invited my mom's sister's husband to go fishing not long after they married. The guy was a complete prick. Overcompensated when he was out of his depth. Not being a fisherman, he of course showed up in a shit ton of new gear. Looked like he'd stepped off the cover of Field and Stream.

Dad was gracious, helped him get set up. Hank walked over to the bank and went for the hardest cast he could muster. First throw of the day, maybe his life. He did not check to make sure it was clear behind him. The idiot hooked my aunt right through the tip of her nose.

The hook went all the way through. Barb sticking out one side of the tip of her nose, eye sticking out the other. Dad went for his tackle box to get a pair of cutters to snip the barb off. Hank, tireless solutioneer that he was, walked up to my aunt, grabbed the hook, and yanked hard. I am reliably informed that there was much blood.

That was the end of that trip. She did not, shockingly, divorce him for several years.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:49 PM on August 17 [9 favorites]


I have hung in the air from four very large hooks for around 15 minutes.

I weighed 280 lb or so at the time.

There are no barbs on the hooks, so they come out pretty easy.

It hurts less than you think, but more than a cattle prod.

I got to be on the discovery channel.


So, you're probably not the fellow I saw on Ripley's Believe It Or Not when I was a little kid, but that guy has been living on the back of my eyelids for decades.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:26 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


"we won't go into any of the regions where bathing suits cover" translation from the original canadian:
Christ, what an asshook.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:47 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


A family friend used to work the ER at Hennepin County Medical Center (Minneapolis). A local drive-time show used to say that the ER had a wall of fame of objects retrieved from butts. So I asked this guy if this was true. "No, there's no wall of fame...but we do have a really big drawer!"
posted by Ber at 6:48 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


It was a million to one shot, doc! Million to one!
posted by ZaphodB at 6:58 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


A local drive-time show used to say that the ER had a wall of fame of objects retrieved from butts.

At least with a fishhook you don't have to make up a story about slipping in the shower.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:12 PM on August 17


Fishing is dangerous and bloody in general even without hooks or any of the sharp, pointy metal bits involved.

Tangential to this, the other day I was taking a frozen red-lipped croaker (?! 굴비 in Korean) from the freezer and accidentally stuck my finger in its mouth. The teeth cut the living shit out of my finger, and when I yanked my hand back it dislodged the fish from the freezer. This caused the fish to unceremoniously fall on my bare foot, leading to a giant green and purple bruise.

Fish are dangerous!
posted by Literaryhero at 7:12 PM on August 17 [13 favorites]


First time I took my kids fishing, after I set them up and before we got started, I showed them this picture.

Whenever I felt they were getting careless I'd shout "Fish hooks in eye balls! Fish hooks in eye balls!"
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:23 PM on August 17 [6 favorites]


Weird. A couple weeks ago we had to go to the Glendora Presbyterian hospital emergency room to entertain my father-in-law who was stuck there until they could get him a real room upstairs. He'd had a bad day at dialysis and his doctor told him to go straight to Glendora Presbyterian so they could get it sorted with better equipment and staff than what they have in Pomona.

They won't let you march into the emergency room, so we stood in line at admittance so they could buzz us in, and at one of the windows there was a blond mom in shorts and flip flops, and a seven or eight year old girl, also blonde and flip flopped, antsily dangling from the lip of counter and staring at everyone in line behind her, and on the other side of mom was a 10 or 11 year old boy, blonde and in shorts and flip flops, but no shirt, his narrow, boyfish body deeply tanned by the Southern California summer. While his sister wound and dangled in boredom he stood straight and attentive as his mother shared the details with the admin on the other side of the window, her tone world-, and especially, boy-weary. Attached to the boy's right shoulder was a three inch long fishing lure, green and shimmering, with a trio of stainless hooks and vicious fish maiming barbs, one of the barbs piercing the boy's tanned flesh, hooking around, and coming out the other side. The flesh around the entry and exit wounds was darker, as if Mom had dabbed with iodine.

"Well, did you catch anything, at least?" the admin said with a smile.

"No," the boy mumbled.

"That's the funny thing," the boy's mother said. "He wasn't even fishing. He was up in his room with his friend throwing it around and somehow it got caught up in his arm. Isn't that what you said baby?"

"Yes."

"His father wanted to take it out the pliers but I said, 'Are you crazy?' and so we're here."

"We won't use pliers, but we'll get it out, no problem. How's that sound?"

"Okay," said the boy.

"We sure weren't letting your dad do it. Absolutely not."

Then the admin at the other window looked up and recognized my wife from a previous visit after her father's dialysis had gone wrong and she buzzed us in to the emergency room and that's how summer in Southern California has marked us, too.
posted by notyou at 7:30 PM on August 17 [8 favorites]


my friend in HS was a terrific athlete. once, a few of us went to the river to wade around and cool off. he stepped, barefoot, right onto a big ass treble hook. one of the hooks went straight up into his heel to the bone.

we got him to a nearby clinic. the only thing the doc could think to do was give a local and incise the heel straight down to the barb, so he could remove it from the same path it entered. it was hard to watch. painful even with a local.

dude played basketball at state the next weekend. tough sob.
posted by j_curiouser at 7:36 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


a 10 or 11 year old boy, blonde and in shorts and flip flops, but no shirt, his narrow, boyfish body deeply tanned by the Southern California summer.

That is the most perfect typo I've ever seen.
posted by ZaphodB at 7:40 PM on August 17 [10 favorites]


After I learned the rudiments of fly casting/fishing I went with my cousin and our mutual friend, both of them were much more experienced fisherman than myself I should note though they did not use fly rods, in a boat to go fishing. I decided to bring my flyrod and they were supportive.

It did not take long for them to make it clear that one person fly fishing, 3 to a bassboat, would not be in the cards again. It probably didn't help that I was still a novice and had to re-cast fairly often. The only bite I got was when I slung the bass-plug off the end of my line and, as it lay unattached to anything 15 feet away and I'm resetting my tackle, we all heard/saw it go *BLURP* swallowed by a monster largemouth.

I didn't hook anyone that day but on fishing related topics/trips now they still call me by the nickname I earned that day: whoosh-whoosh. That's the sound my line/tackle made as it whizzed by their heads at whipcrack speed as they tried to look nonchalant. Love those guys.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:01 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


When I was a kid my brother, my uncle, my grandfather, a friend our age my brother had made and I all crammed ourselves into a rowboat that wasn't big enough for all five of us and rowed out into the middle of a small lake near Parry Sound, Ontario, to go fishing. My uncle caught my brother's friend's cheek with his hook on the first cast, and in hindsight it's a miracle that he didn't rip it open following through. The poor kid had to go to the emergency room with part of the fucking worm dangling from his cheek because it couldn't be removed from the hook without hurting him.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:04 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


I had twin cousins, and one of them ended up casting a fishing line such that the hook ended up in his twin's face. (not on purpose, really!) After they had the hook removed, they framed it with a label explaining what it was and what had happened.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:05 PM on August 17


And for everyone else it got a lot easier to tell twin from twin. Look for the fish hook scar!
posted by notyou at 8:08 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


I'm not very squeamish in general...but geez has reading this thread been a distressingly harrowing ordeal!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:23 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


Maybe it's time for a little love poetry from gentle spirit Peggy Atwood?

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

posted by maudlin at 9:23 PM on August 17 [18 favorites]


Oh my god I just came in to post that poem, maudlin! Great minds &c.

Heard this on the CBC last night and oh man, it made me remember the strict talk we kids got about why you don't play with Daddy's fishing gear.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:19 PM on August 17 [1 favorite]


Ooh, a chance to show off my friend's very handy little invention, Hook-eze! They won't help if you're determined to get a hook in your finger, but I like the whole bit about keeping the hook covered when you're travelling with your rods.
posted by h00py at 11:29 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


I want to see a similar display case for all the items they've removed from "clumsy" people's bottoms. To quote a line from Scrubs: "There's no lost & found box. There's an ass box."

Also ...

Metafilter: Thank god for ketamine.
posted by Paul Slade at 12:17 AM on August 18


Had a few stuck in me over the years just part n parcel of the fun :-)
posted by nealeg at 3:52 AM on August 18 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: hurts less than you think, but more than a cattle prod.
posted by thelonius at 4:03 AM on August 18 [3 favorites]


Fishing may actually be the furthest top-right point in the boring vs. dangerous 2D hobby space. (I'm not sure what occupies the opposite corner. Unusually good puppetry?)
We won't go into any of the regions where bathing suits cover.
I'm hoping that means, "we won't discuss this with reporters," and not, "we won't remove fishhooks from your genitals if you show up in our ER."
posted by eotvos at 8:52 AM on August 18 [2 favorites]


I went to the ER as a kid for a fish hook. As an adult I learned how to best do it, and it is not gross or scary anymore.

Just slowly but firmly work it out the same way it came in. You will know the right orientation because it will hurt the least. Take your time and take deep breaths. Saves you hundreds of dollars, potentially.

The most important piece of advice is this: the moment you get hooked, try to avoid recoiling in pain if you can. A lot of the time, if you can manage it, it won't go past the barb.

Article is right. I wouldn't go to the ER unless it was really stuck, or in a bad place.
posted by habeebtc at 9:08 AM on August 18 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure what occupies the opposite corner.

Sleeping?
shut up, it is too a hobby
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:26 AM on August 18 [3 favorites]


Worst. Hookup. Ever.

If you look closely at the photo in the article, it turns out the hospital actually led with this joke.

(I find the whole thing quite charming, in a way that I can't imagine a vampire-squid-esque US healthcare conglomerate hospital allowing. Not to say that similar things don't exist, they're just out of public and corporate-drone view. I've never met an radiologist who didn't have a "butt file" somewhere.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:51 AM on August 18 [1 favorite]


I had heard the tail (haha) end of the interview the other night but I hadn't heard that it was in Dryden. I guess it depends on where you're fishing but I'm not sure I'd want to eat too much fish from there due to the contamination from the Pulp & Paper industry. Maybe it's better now? I guess if you're just trophy fishing it'd be fine.
posted by Ashwagandha at 12:06 PM on August 18


FWIW, Ontario publishes a Guide to Eating Fish annually. It gives a lake/species/size rating based on contaminants found in sampled populations (including mercury, widely used in pulp mills in Northern Ontario over the years).

Not every single lake in Ontario or species of fish therein are sampled, but it gives a picture of what's deemed safe to eat.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:16 PM on August 18


Now I'm kinda glad most lakes around here are barbless.
posted by Mitheral at 7:57 PM on August 18


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