Leif Garrett beat me. I would’ve had him if my foot hadn’t gotten stuck

August 23, 2017 11:14 AM

An Oral History of Battle of the Network Stars
posted by Lucinda (18 comments total)

Oh this is great! Battle of the Network Stars was pretty much the most talked about thing ever when I was in third or fourth grade. I myself will never forget the thrilling run-off death race between Robert Conrad and Gabe Kaplan.
posted by holborne at 11:34 AM on August 23, 2017 [4 favorites]

"we kicked Penny Marshall's ass"

ah, good times
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:00 PM on August 23, 2017 [1 favorite]

That brought back some memories! I don't think I watched more than the first couple of episodes but it was neat hearing from all those stars, many of whom I remember fondly from their shows. Hope they're doing well. It was interesting how they all seemed to remember Howard Cosell so fondly, given his reputation for pissing people off.
posted by TedW at 12:01 PM on August 23, 2017

I was thinking recently that in those days, TV stars weren't paid quite so lavishly as they are now -- like it was a super duper big deal that Larry Hagman was getting paid $40,000 per episode for Dallas (about $135,000 adjusted for inflation). Now the stars of The Big Bang Theory make, what, $1,000,000 an episode, is it? If they did this now, I suspect, it would be one of those things where they donate the money to the charity of their choice.
posted by holborne at 12:17 PM on August 23, 2017

Jimmie Walker: [CBS] got our asses kicked every year by Penny Marshall [and the ABC team]. She fucking destroyed us, every year. So one year, Bo Svenson got in contact with everyone, and he said, “We are gonna win this fucking thing!” We went out, and we took rowing lessons, we took swimming lessons, we took basketball lessons, and son of a sea dragon, when the actual game came, it was easier than the training! We destroyed everybody. And I loved it. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s one of the highlights of my career, winning the Battle Of The Network Stars. Thank god we finally got ’em. We kicked Penny Marshall’s ass!

Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs: Bobby Hegyes, may he rest in peace, he brought his dog with him, and his dog’s name was Reefer. [Laughs.] It was, like, “Well, the world knows where you’re coming from now, brother!”

posted by jjwiseman at 12:18 PM on August 23, 2017 [7 favorites]

I feel sorry for anyone who had to go up against Lou Ferrigno in any strength-based competition. I know that bodybuilders aren't the same as powerlifters, but that's still just not fair.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:32 PM on August 23, 2017

They're all rather charmingly mercenary.
posted by Diablevert at 12:54 PM on August 23, 2017 [3 favorites]

Was there ever anything better than Mr. Rogers vs. Julia Child?
posted by lagomorphius at 1:17 PM on August 23, 2017 [8 favorites]

If they did this now, I suspect, it would be one of those things where they donate the money to the charity of their choice.

They DO do this now as mentioned in the article. But it's not stars of The Big Bang Theory - it's a mix of people who were famous when the original was on (and several were on the show then too) with more minor celebrities than the original had. It's not bad, but it's nothing compared to the original. Also, there's no prize money to keep or donate.

It's really fun to read how the people interviewed seemed to have had fun with the show. Many of them are still arguing over who really won, was robbed, or stole events 40 years ago. This was better than most of the Oral Histories I've read lately. Thanks for posting.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:37 PM on August 23, 2017

The new one also only has two teams, which makes the tug-of-war at the end, which in the earlier incarnation was between the two teams with the highest scores competing for the victory, annoying because it's enough points that unless one team absolutely demolishes the other in all the other events, the winner of the tug-of-war will almost always win the whole thing.

Like a lot of other people my age, I have a LOT of fondness for the original and how could I not when decades later it can give me this:

LeVar Burton: Hal Linden is right. The tug of war… That’s when the shit got real.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:59 PM on August 23, 2017 [1 favorite]

Holy fuck there was one with Robin Williams?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:06 PM on August 23, 2017

In the Robin Williams ep is a kayak competition between BSG's Richard Hatch and David Letterman.
posted by John Shaft at 4:22 PM on August 23, 2017 [1 favorite]

Hooray! I'm the one who compiled this piece, and I'm glad ya'll dig it. It was a labor of love, but I'm super proud of how it turned out.
posted by WillHarrisInVA at 4:24 PM on August 23, 2017 [17 favorites]

I remember watching this show the first season or two. It was fun time waster. I don't recall which stars I saw, I just remember being surprised by who was really athletic and who was *really* not.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 4:50 PM on August 23, 2017

I have an fondness for this show and it will never get old figuring out who is inebriated during the competition!
posted by reedcourtneyj at 5:05 PM on August 23, 2017

...kayak competition yt between BSG's Richard Hatch and David Letterman.

Okay I had to watch that.

Waitaminnit, Letterman is playing for CBS in 1978?

Going further down the rabbit hole, turns out it's this. A variety show with Mary Tyler Moore!
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:50 PM on August 23, 2017

Wait, AVClub is part of Gizmodo now? When did that happen?
posted by octothorpe at 4:05 AM on August 24, 2017

Holy shit, you're right. That was... unexpected.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:26 AM on August 24, 2017