Now you're thinking with pullets
August 24, 2017 12:55 PM   Subscribe

Say you're KFC. Training your new hires on how to fry chicken requires a wasteful 25 minutes. What if you could shave that time down to 10 minutes? What if you could do it without wasting any precious inventory? What if you could do it with a virtual reality locked room game full of Rube Goldbergian devices narrated by an actor as a bellowing, wheezing Colonel Sanders? Now you can!
posted by ardgedee (27 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
From the KFC spox: "The game is intended to supplement the existing Chicken Mastery program, not replace it..."

Keep on mastering that chicken!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:10 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]


Why does there have to be a haunting when the chicken is in the fryer?
Why doesn't this video teach you to wash your hands after handling the chicken?
Do employees have to worry about the colonel's laser eyes while handling bad chicken?

So many questions.
posted by erratic meatsack at 1:11 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


Wasn't there a whole early episode of Community about this?

YES THERE WAS. (Surprisingly, not the one with "Poultry" in the title.)
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


I assume this is replacing some kind of industrial film that had a 25 minute runtime, rather than actually replacing in-person demonstrations and practice. It seems more like an introduction to "the steps" than detailed training in how to perform each one (there's no indication of what you're looking for during "inspection", for instance).

Pretty good advertisement, though.
posted by tobascodagama at 1:15 PM on August 24, 2017


"I demand a human touch in my kitchen...put yer supple human hands in that breadin' and give that chicken a toss."

Oh! Colonel! The chicken's not the only fresh thing in this kitchen!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:16 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]


KFC already tasted like the teenage help were using Surgery Simulator UI to make it, so this is just the next logical step.
posted by delfin at 1:27 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


Maybe they could precede it with this?
posted by spudsilo at 1:29 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Would you kindly give us some extra sides?
posted by lagomorphius at 2:34 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


What the hell did I just watch??
Why the hell did I watch the whole thing??

This may sound ridiculous, but prior to watching this, it never clicked that an eight piece bucket of chicken was once one whole, living chicken. If I had my brain around that earlier on, I'm pretty sure I would have gone veggie sooner than I did.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 2:36 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]


Popeyes! 4-eveh!
posted by mikelieman at 2:42 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Can we get some old school, er, input from jessamyn on this? I mean, what else is VR really for, anyway?

Has anyone else seen Pink Flamingoes? I mean, who'd to admit to it?

This is RuptureFarms. They say it's the biggest meat processing plant on Oddworld. I used to work here. Well, I was really a slave, like all the others. That's me. My name is Abe. I was employee of the year, now, I'm dead meat. I've crossed the meanest boss in the world, Molluck the Glukkon. My whole life changed in just one day. I was working late one night, at RuptureFarms. We used to make Meech Munchies, until the Meeches were through. We used to make Paramite Pies and we made some good Scrab Cakes, too. I thought I had a good job, but that was before I knew how we made "New N' Tasty"...

posted by loquacious at 4:03 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]


Can we get some old school, er, input from jessamyn on this? I mean, what else is VR really for, anyway?

Porn?
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


I would watch that over the anti-union video Target had running circa 2011, let's be honest.
posted by lineofsight at 4:21 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


VR is truly living up to its promise as the future of education.
posted by Durhey at 4:40 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


KFC already tasted like the teenage help were using Surgery Simulator UI to make it, so this is just the next logical step.

I look forward to the weird kid-popular bootleg spinoff of this where you do the same things, but you're Elsa from Frozen.
posted by emjaybee at 5:06 PM on August 24, 2017


That is one of the more horrifying things I've watched this week, and I saw the Phoenix rally.
posted by AFABulous at 5:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


This may sound ridiculous, but prior to watching this, it never clicked that an eight piece bucket of chicken was once one whole, living chicken.

It's KFC, don't jump to any conclusions...
posted by madajb at 5:28 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.

(Oops, wrong chicken empire. Before I Googled it to check just now, I thought that phrase originated from the movie Short Circuit.)
posted by XMLicious at 5:51 PM on August 24, 2017


an eight piece bucket of chicken was once one whole, living chicken.

Oh, that's just silly. The pieces get all jumbled up during processing, shipping, and prep, so it was probably once parts of eight whole, living chickens!
posted by sysinfo at 6:13 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]




I'm pretty sure if I was subjected to this I'd just spend the whole time trying to break into that safe, which I assume they took the time to program to contain all of the Colonel's original recipes.

heck with the chicken, I just want the original baked beans
posted by ckape at 8:18 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


I look forward to the weird kid-popular bootleg spinoff of this where you do the same things, but you're Elsa from Frozen.

Before or after you perform surgery on her?

(Also, KFC pretty much became dead to me after they discontinued that wonderful, sticky, dark brown "barbecue" chicken.)
posted by Samizdata at 10:20 PM on August 24, 2017


You cut them up just like regular chickens.
posted by flabdablet at 10:29 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


This may sound ridiculous, but prior to watching this, it never clicked that an eight piece bucket of chicken was once one whole, living chicken.
...
It's KFC, don't jump to any conclusions...


Right, everyone knows that at KFC eight pieces is only like half the chicken.
posted by solotoro at 7:10 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


The game is worthless without boss levels.
posted by flabdablet at 9:20 AM on August 25, 2017


Loquacious: Has anyone else seen Pink Flamingoes? I mean, who'd to admit to it?

It was the second movie my mom ever rented after we got our first VCR. She let me watch it all the way through. You could say it left a lasting impression on my then 8 year old self. After that, anything and everything John Waters was rented and watched by my mom and I. But this is probably a story for another post.

posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:55 AM on August 25, 2017


Kentucky Fried headCrab.
posted by nickzoic at 6:54 PM on August 26, 2017


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