Can All the Sad Adults Please Step Away from Our Back-to-School Display?
September 3, 2017 11:59 AM Subscribe
Back to school sales are a grim reminder of the inexorable march of time.
posted by ckape at 12:39 PM on September 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by ckape at 12:39 PM on September 3, 2017 [12 favorites]
I get sad when I see I have to buy another damn protractor although I know we have at least five from previous years hidden somewhere around the house.
posted by bibliowench at 12:53 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by bibliowench at 12:53 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
Buying school supplies was the second-happiest day of the school year, and only the last school day of the year was better.
Graduation, and the knowledge I would never have to attend K-12 again was another matter, and that matter was AWESOME.
posted by datawrangler at 1:05 PM on September 3, 2017 [14 favorites]
Graduation, and the knowledge I would never have to attend K-12 again was another matter, and that matter was AWESOME.
posted by datawrangler at 1:05 PM on September 3, 2017 [14 favorites]
*carves Van Halen logo*
posted by thelonius at 1:06 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 1:06 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
Am I the only one who looks forward to school supply season? It's when Target sells the composition books I use for writing fiction and plays for 50 cents a pop!
posted by MrBadExample at 1:07 PM on September 3, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by MrBadExample at 1:07 PM on September 3, 2017 [21 favorites]
Am I the only one who looks forward to school supply season?
Apparently, the people who have to find and buy the school supplies don't
posted by thelonius at 1:10 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Apparently, the people who have to find and buy the school supplies don't
posted by thelonius at 1:10 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Protractors are amazing in that you get 180 cleanly defined degree marks, and an accompanying compass for about $2.00, at least that's what I paid today.
Have you ever tried to divide a circle by 360, with only a compass? I made it to 10 degree marks before I got tired. I obviously could go the rest of the way, but now I've got a protractor and don't need to do so.
Next to a dividing table, this is the most precision of angle you can get per buck.
This, along with my micrometer and dial calipers mean that I could potentially restart civilization, up to, and including, interchangeable parts.
A dollar keychain calculator can save a boatload of time computing sine/cosine for the odd times you need it. If you want to splurge, you can spend $10 to get a calculator with trig functions.
Civilization is great, tools are so cheap these days.
posted by MikeWarot at 1:13 PM on September 3, 2017 [34 favorites]
Have you ever tried to divide a circle by 360, with only a compass? I made it to 10 degree marks before I got tired. I obviously could go the rest of the way, but now I've got a protractor and don't need to do so.
Next to a dividing table, this is the most precision of angle you can get per buck.
This, along with my micrometer and dial calipers mean that I could potentially restart civilization, up to, and including, interchangeable parts.
A dollar keychain calculator can save a boatload of time computing sine/cosine for the odd times you need it. If you want to splurge, you can spend $10 to get a calculator with trig functions.
Civilization is great, tools are so cheap these days.
posted by MikeWarot at 1:13 PM on September 3, 2017 [34 favorites]
*carves Van Halen logo*
Tremble before my semi-mastery of the Black Sabbath font inside a Celtic cross, emblazoned in blue pen on a matte black binder so it's EXTRA DARK.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:16 PM on September 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
Tremble before my semi-mastery of the Black Sabbath font inside a Celtic cross, emblazoned in blue pen on a matte black binder so it's EXTRA DARK.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:16 PM on September 3, 2017 [17 favorites]
The typical New Yorker reader probably has fonder memories of school than those of us sent to a public school in the sticks.
posted by benzenedream at 1:25 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 1:25 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
Seasonal school supply depression isn't so much about nostalgia for how great school was, at least not for me, but about how buying school supplies coincided with and came to symbolize an earnest belief in a fresh new start and finally getting one's shit together. For me it was like I want to create something with these things and this time they're going to show me how to do it. It never happened, they never did, but the hope and good feelings of expectation came along every year with the new notebooks.
Of course then came the frustration when teachers finally got around to telling us what they wanted to buy around September 15th and all the shit was already gone from the stores.
posted by bleep at 1:43 PM on September 3, 2017 [52 favorites]
Of course then came the frustration when teachers finally got around to telling us what they wanted to buy around September 15th and all the shit was already gone from the stores.
posted by bleep at 1:43 PM on September 3, 2017 [52 favorites]
@cameronesposito: Shoutout to queer middle schoolers getting ready 4 back to school. Think of this time as "building a standup act."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [16 favorites]
I've got the perfect solution for anyone feeling nostalgic about school days: role-playing games. You want to get a pencil box with a built-in sharpener? That's just what you'll need for your character sheet; smell those cedar shavings. You want a notebook or a three-ring binder with stuff that you scribbled or collaged on the cover? You get that binder with page protectors and put the logo of your favorite RPG system or a sexy elf on the cover. You want to play pretend with figurines with your friends? We got 'em! You want to scribble with erasable markers on a map of a fantasy world? We got 'em! You want to do something with Platonic solids? You know we got 'em! And the best part is, it is purely voluntary.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:47 PM on September 3, 2017 [22 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:47 PM on September 3, 2017 [22 favorites]
The writer clearly never saw this Staples commercial from several years back.
posted by magstheaxe at 1:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by magstheaxe at 1:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
The typical New Yorker reader probably has fonder memories of school than those of us sent to a public school in the sticks.
Oh idk. If you mean "typical New Yorker reader" as shorthand for "yuppie" then school was probably fraught with pressure to get straight-A's, excel in 20 extracurricular activities, and ace your standardized tests.
That was my school experience, anyway, and while my family was a lot poorer than most of my classmates', I don't think they were much less pressured than I was. We were all pretty unhappy.
posted by mrmurbles at 1:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
Oh idk. If you mean "typical New Yorker reader" as shorthand for "yuppie" then school was probably fraught with pressure to get straight-A's, excel in 20 extracurricular activities, and ace your standardized tests.
That was my school experience, anyway, and while my family was a lot poorer than most of my classmates', I don't think they were much less pressured than I was. We were all pretty unhappy.
posted by mrmurbles at 1:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
I just got a new planner, so now I get to excitedly agonize over shiny new supplies all the time!
posted by Biblio at 2:05 PM on September 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Biblio at 2:05 PM on September 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
My dad will still occasionally say how much he misses school supply shopping, and my youngest sibling turned thirty this year.
posted by jameaterblues at 2:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by jameaterblues at 2:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
MikeWarot, I can't tell whether you're serious, kidding, or kidding-on-the-square, but I just got a set of dial calipers this summer, and I have Feelings about them, so you get a favorite.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 2:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 2:45 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
I looooove school supplies. They're very orderly and in the past decade (?) or so they've become coordinated in fun but subtle patterns that seemed designed for whimsical adults (or aspirational teens). I bought coordinating folders and notebooks for my last few years of college and they made me happy.
The idea of a supply list is also kind of soothing; everything you need to succeed is assembled in one place and on sale. Very appealing if you are kind of scattered and easily overwhelmed by choice, while also plagued by the fear of Lacking Crucial Things.
If you like school supplies and want an excuse to buy some, lots of charities hold back-to-school supply drives for kids in need.
SIDE NOTE: Are any of you parents required to label each of your child's individual crayons? My parent coworkers mentioned making tiny labels for each of their children's crayons, markers, and pencils and did not understand why I was aghast.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
The idea of a supply list is also kind of soothing; everything you need to succeed is assembled in one place and on sale. Very appealing if you are kind of scattered and easily overwhelmed by choice, while also plagued by the fear of Lacking Crucial Things.
If you like school supplies and want an excuse to buy some, lots of charities hold back-to-school supply drives for kids in need.
SIDE NOTE: Are any of you parents required to label each of your child's individual crayons? My parent coworkers mentioned making tiny labels for each of their children's crayons, markers, and pencils and did not understand why I was aghast.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
What are these children things you speak of?
posted by humboldt32 at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by humboldt32 at 2:54 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
As a faculty member at a college, I literally have access to a drawer full of all the free school supplies I want! Bwahahaha.
Also, back to school shopping and concealed carry are two great tastes that taste great together.
posted by dhens at 2:59 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Also, back to school shopping and concealed carry are two great tastes that taste great together.
posted by dhens at 2:59 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
I am old. I was thinking of the KISS logo when they mentioned pointy S's.
posted by candyland at 3:19 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by candyland at 3:19 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
There must be some german word for that feeling you get when someone gets all nostalgic for things that you were too old for when they were new.
posted by octothorpe at 3:24 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 3:24 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
dhens, just one drawer? I've got a cabinet. In grad school we had a walk-in closet. No kidding.
posted by oddman at 3:38 PM on September 3, 2017
posted by oddman at 3:38 PM on September 3, 2017
I solved this problem by going to grad school and therefore guaranteeing myself 6 more years of school supply shopping.
Of course, that also means spending $100 per textbook, but goddamn did I get some cute binders this year
posted by brook horse at 3:44 PM on September 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
Of course, that also means spending $100 per textbook, but goddamn did I get some cute binders this year
posted by brook horse at 3:44 PM on September 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
I stopped by Staples to get a thumbdrive and the cedar smell of the pencils and the bright shininess of the notebooks and folders stopped me in my tracks. It's not that I loved school so much, but I knew how to do it back then. I think I've felt lost ever since.
posted by acrasis at 3:58 PM on September 3, 2017 [19 favorites]
posted by acrasis at 3:58 PM on September 3, 2017 [19 favorites]
The thing I thought was weirdest was---doesn't everyone do this on Amazon? We get supply lists via a website that...provides a place for teachers to list school supplies...and I just search on 'multi-colored spiral notebooks' and '#2 pencils*' (etc etc) and disinfectant wipes and Kleenex, which teachers automatically ask for now.
I *did* do it at Target for the kindergarten year and it was really stressy because I hadn't thought about it, went late, and wtf the 8 packs of crayons are gone??? but then I never did that again. I HAVE FAILED AS A MOTHER.
It's one of those things that is in my purview, not Mr. Llama's; because I am pretty stressy about it--it pushes some buttons about my shitty elementary school experiences.
*a harder Get than you'd think
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:04 PM on September 3, 2017
I *did* do it at Target for the kindergarten year and it was really stressy because I hadn't thought about it, went late, and wtf the 8 packs of crayons are gone??? but then I never did that again. I HAVE FAILED AS A MOTHER.
It's one of those things that is in my purview, not Mr. Llama's; because I am pretty stressy about it--it pushes some buttons about my shitty elementary school experiences.
*a harder Get than you'd think
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:04 PM on September 3, 2017
The writer clearly never saw this Staples commercial yt from several years back.
I was just thinking about how much I used to loathe this commercial
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:06 PM on September 3, 2017
I was just thinking about how much I used to loathe this commercial
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:06 PM on September 3, 2017
"doesn't everyone do this on Amazon?"
No, because Amazon is ridiculously expensive if you're buying two glue sticks rather than bulk glue sticks.
I was grumpy because we moved this year, so all the OTHER kids got to spend $47.32 and get a cardboard boxed "First Grade school supplies pack" set outside their locker at meet-the-teachers day, but *I* had to go to Target and FIND all the darn supplies because I didn't order them last May. SO ANNOYING.
I do miss the yearly reset of fresh new supplies. Maybe I should clean out my desk every May and replenish it every August to simulate school supply shopping.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:16 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
No, because Amazon is ridiculously expensive if you're buying two glue sticks rather than bulk glue sticks.
I was grumpy because we moved this year, so all the OTHER kids got to spend $47.32 and get a cardboard boxed "First Grade school supplies pack" set outside their locker at meet-the-teachers day, but *I* had to go to Target and FIND all the darn supplies because I didn't order them last May. SO ANNOYING.
I do miss the yearly reset of fresh new supplies. Maybe I should clean out my desk every May and replenish it every August to simulate school supply shopping.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:16 PM on September 3, 2017 [6 favorites]
all of life is a parade toward death
Just sayin'
posted by janey47 at 4:26 PM on September 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
Just sayin'
posted by janey47 at 4:26 PM on September 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
all of life is a parade toward death
Just sayin'
💂💂💂💂💂💂💀
posted by device55 at 4:36 PM on September 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
Are any of you parents required to label each of your child's individual crayons?
This sounds like the kind of inexplicable requirement that has a story behind it. When I was in middle school, we were required to get color-coded binders for each class: red for math, blue for history, and so forth. I never did figure out why this was - to cut down on kids forgetting the right binders, or pretending that they had?
A new school year offered the promise of a fresh start. Adults don't get this, at least not without a lot of perseverance and self-doubt, and certainly not every year. No wonder it brings on a little melancholy, even in those of us who truly do not miss being told what kind of binders to have.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:39 PM on September 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
This sounds like the kind of inexplicable requirement that has a story behind it. When I was in middle school, we were required to get color-coded binders for each class: red for math, blue for history, and so forth. I never did figure out why this was - to cut down on kids forgetting the right binders, or pretending that they had?
A new school year offered the promise of a fresh start. Adults don't get this, at least not without a lot of perseverance and self-doubt, and certainly not every year. No wonder it brings on a little melancholy, even in those of us who truly do not miss being told what kind of binders to have.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:39 PM on September 3, 2017 [11 favorites]
I went into Office Maxpot last weekend while running errands, completely forgetting what month it was. The store was empty (this store is always empty, but there's like a dozen people working, and the AC is never turned up high enough so by the time I've made half a lap my hair is damp, and by the time I check out I look like I'm about to rob the place), but I now have Sharpies in every color, four folders with cats and weird phrases, and a little calculator with a fold-out ruler. Talked myself out of more Flair pens and discbound planner supplies.
I had to order what I went in for - labelmaker cartridges - when I got home because I got distracted and forgot why I was there.
Back-to-School is still Honorary New Year for me. I'd much rather make September resolutions.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:50 PM on September 3, 2017 [9 favorites]
I had to order what I went in for - labelmaker cartridges - when I got home because I got distracted and forgot why I was there.
Back-to-School is still Honorary New Year for me. I'd much rather make September resolutions.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:50 PM on September 3, 2017 [9 favorites]
When I was in middle school, we were required to get color-coded binders for each class: red for math, blue for history, and so forth. I never did figure out why this was - to cut down on kids forgetting the right binders, or pretending that they had?
This is one of our requirements. Last year I overbought on folders, so we had those already, but we had to get color coded spiral notebooks. Looking forward to the binders, though. Nothing like seeing your kid loaded down with four binders in her backpack, walking through the school doors like she's doing a space launch.
We overbuy on some school supplies like glue sticks but we have an art supplies section in the living room where the extras live and my kid and her friends go through glue sticks pretty quick. Possibly due to the over-supply of googly eyes. Kind of couldn't believe I couldn't find four unmolested glue sticks this year.
Also, could only find six number two pencils, all without erasers, and had to dig deep on Amazon to find them via Prime and then could only buy like 72 and that's how Mr. Llama bought them at the grocery store.
I should have bought the 72, I guess, it's not like they go bad. But it's kind of a lot of money to drop all at once with school clothes and backpacks and there is an emotional/cognitive toll to the start of school, all these scheduling adjustments to be made, social stress, and dozens of forms to fill out.
It's surprisingly demanding, fourth grade.
I like the coming of fall and start of school, I like the seasons, and when I lived in SF I missed them...they connote the passing of time and I actually like that. Even though I'm pretty macabre in general, for some reason, seasons passing to me is just like 'change', like 'nothing is forever, pain or happiness' and it reminds me to let go.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:51 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
This is one of our requirements. Last year I overbought on folders, so we had those already, but we had to get color coded spiral notebooks. Looking forward to the binders, though. Nothing like seeing your kid loaded down with four binders in her backpack, walking through the school doors like she's doing a space launch.
We overbuy on some school supplies like glue sticks but we have an art supplies section in the living room where the extras live and my kid and her friends go through glue sticks pretty quick. Possibly due to the over-supply of googly eyes. Kind of couldn't believe I couldn't find four unmolested glue sticks this year.
Also, could only find six number two pencils, all without erasers, and had to dig deep on Amazon to find them via Prime and then could only buy like 72 and that's how Mr. Llama bought them at the grocery store.
I should have bought the 72, I guess, it's not like they go bad. But it's kind of a lot of money to drop all at once with school clothes and backpacks and there is an emotional/cognitive toll to the start of school, all these scheduling adjustments to be made, social stress, and dozens of forms to fill out.
It's surprisingly demanding, fourth grade.
I like the coming of fall and start of school, I like the seasons, and when I lived in SF I missed them...they connote the passing of time and I actually like that. Even though I'm pretty macabre in general, for some reason, seasons passing to me is just like 'change', like 'nothing is forever, pain or happiness' and it reminds me to let go.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 4:51 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
I got the feeling this writer was trying really hard to channel Mallory Ortberg but couldn't quite pull it off.
posted by Lanark at 4:52 PM on September 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Lanark at 4:52 PM on September 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I wonder sometimes if people's feelings about this stage of childhood are influenced by what economic bracket they grew up in. I don't have this nostalgia about fighting with my mom over wanting the name brand Crayola crayons or the erasers that didn't just render the pencil a dark smear on your homework. I don't miss shopping for clothes every August with the sure feeling in the pit of my stomach that no matter what I chose from the racks at Kmart, I was going to get made fun of for it somehow.
posted by Sequence at 4:57 PM on September 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
posted by Sequence at 4:57 PM on September 3, 2017 [23 favorites]
I am old. I was thinking of the KISS logo when they mentioned pointy S's.
I guess I'm older. I was thinking of the Nazi SS logo.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:02 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
I guess I'm older. I was thinking of the Nazi SS logo.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:02 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
P.S. For those of us with the funds to donate school supplies, Houston nonprofits are collecting school supply donations in the wake of Harvey. There are national orgs doing this work as well (and check your local dept of education website too).
posted by spamandkimchi at 5:19 PM on September 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 5:19 PM on September 3, 2017 [8 favorites]
MikeWarot, I can't tell whether you're serious, kidding, or kidding-on-the-square
You can use it to draw a square but it's really more for arcs...
posted by atoxyl at 6:08 PM on September 3, 2017
You can use it to draw a square but it's really more for arcs...
posted by atoxyl at 6:08 PM on September 3, 2017
Weirdly, Sequence, I didn't have any problems with cheap crappy school supplies, but I feel you with the clothing fears. We were allowed a few new items at Roses discount store, but most of my wardrobe always came from thrift stores. I had to sift through and hope that I could find something good. I wasn't always successful and I didn't always know that I did a bad job until I got teased for it.
posted by Night_owl at 6:43 PM on September 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Night_owl at 6:43 PM on September 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
The awesome thing about buying school supplies for yourself is that it's more expensive and wasteful for each student to do it individually rather than have the school buy supplies in bulk via tax funds, but people would rather waste money than pay more taxes.
posted by Aleyn at 6:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [25 favorites]
posted by Aleyn at 6:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [25 favorites]
I'm an odd sort of person.... doing pseudo-manual calculations of the sine function for fun (8 digit multiplication is too error prone, and thus I use a $2 calculator for that)... I have used a compass to divide up a circle into 10 degree args... my vision is failing, or I'd have gone all the way down to degrees.
Ultimately I want to make my own Protractor with a Vernier scale that can read minutes of arc reliable. I also want to make my own vernier calipers good to 0.001" and at least 6 inches long. I'll probably dual-scale it so I can also read tenths of millimeters.
And then there's the desire to make some surface plates out of cast iron.... I've already got the prussian blue I need for comparing them... need the scraper and the cast iron rounds.
So... that's me... a technology and tools geek.
posted by MikeWarot at 7:15 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
Ultimately I want to make my own Protractor with a Vernier scale that can read minutes of arc reliable. I also want to make my own vernier calipers good to 0.001" and at least 6 inches long. I'll probably dual-scale it so I can also read tenths of millimeters.
And then there's the desire to make some surface plates out of cast iron.... I've already got the prussian blue I need for comparing them... need the scraper and the cast iron rounds.
So... that's me... a technology and tools geek.
posted by MikeWarot at 7:15 PM on September 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
I wonder sometimes if people's feelings about this stage of childhood are influenced by what economic bracket they grew up in.
This. I am still weirded out by walking into my local Target or CVS to see this rack of "local school supply lists!!!" as if everyone actually needs to purchase this stuff - and when you add up the lists, it seems to always total like $113.00 at least. Fuck that noise.
I grew up in the 70s and 80s and went to public schools. We shopped for school supplies, yeah, but we had no lists. We just bought a 5-subject notebook, a pencil case, and the holy protactor. The "rich" kids got the Trapper Keeper with the folders and binder. In all truth, zero teachers expected that you had bought any prescribed supplies, or referenced any theoretical organization system in their assignments. I have great difficulty believing that they do so now.
We got through as kids have through decades: getting up from our desk to get a dusky sheet of pulpy, blue-lined elementary writing paper from school inventory, and jamming it into our book bag at the end of the day.
This "school supplies" BS seems like a massive capitalist scam. If your kids need it to learn, the school should absolutely be supplying it. If the school doesn't supply it, it's probably not strictly needed, but a wishful-thinking, status item.
posted by Miko at 7:53 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
This. I am still weirded out by walking into my local Target or CVS to see this rack of "local school supply lists!!!" as if everyone actually needs to purchase this stuff - and when you add up the lists, it seems to always total like $113.00 at least. Fuck that noise.
I grew up in the 70s and 80s and went to public schools. We shopped for school supplies, yeah, but we had no lists. We just bought a 5-subject notebook, a pencil case, and the holy protactor. The "rich" kids got the Trapper Keeper with the folders and binder. In all truth, zero teachers expected that you had bought any prescribed supplies, or referenced any theoretical organization system in their assignments. I have great difficulty believing that they do so now.
We got through as kids have through decades: getting up from our desk to get a dusky sheet of pulpy, blue-lined elementary writing paper from school inventory, and jamming it into our book bag at the end of the day.
This "school supplies" BS seems like a massive capitalist scam. If your kids need it to learn, the school should absolutely be supplying it. If the school doesn't supply it, it's probably not strictly needed, but a wishful-thinking, status item.
posted by Miko at 7:53 PM on September 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Though I'm sure this is not entirely true, it feels true to say that I never wanted anything so bad as a green Trapper Keeper with a picture of a kitten on it and I still remember the day that my mother buckled and bought it for me as among the happiest of my life.
posted by thivaia at 7:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [18 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 7:56 PM on September 3, 2017 [18 favorites]
My LA public k-6 provided everything 1973-80; I suppose they had enough in reserve for a few years after proposition 13.
posted by brujita at 8:14 PM on September 3, 2017
posted by brujita at 8:14 PM on September 3, 2017
In all truth, zero teachers expected that you had bought any prescribed supplies, or referenced any theoretical organization system in their assignments. I have great difficulty believing that they do so now.
Nope, sorry Miko, even in the 90s and all through the early 2000s my kids were given a two page mimeographed sheet of essential school supplies that every single student had to bring in on the first day of school. This list was mailed to us in case we didn't pick one up on meet the teacher night. Public schools, in Maryland and North Carolina. I don't even want to contemplate what might have happened if they had not shown up with the regulated backpack, correct notebooks and etc. I would never have let that happen - I'd wade through hell and high water before I would have followed the condescending advice "for those families who may have trouble finding these required supplies" to go to various nonprofits and get them. And I understand it's worse now.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:47 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
Nope, sorry Miko, even in the 90s and all through the early 2000s my kids were given a two page mimeographed sheet of essential school supplies that every single student had to bring in on the first day of school. This list was mailed to us in case we didn't pick one up on meet the teacher night. Public schools, in Maryland and North Carolina. I don't even want to contemplate what might have happened if they had not shown up with the regulated backpack, correct notebooks and etc. I would never have let that happen - I'd wade through hell and high water before I would have followed the condescending advice "for those families who may have trouble finding these required supplies" to go to various nonprofits and get them. And I understand it's worse now.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:47 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
If the school doesn't supply it, it's probably not strictly needed, but a wishful-thinking, status item.
Most states provide less support per student for elementary and secondary schools — in some cases, much less — than before the Great Recession, and classroom teachers spend an average of $600 each school year on supplies.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:27 PM on September 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
Most states provide less support per student for elementary and secondary schools — in some cases, much less — than before the Great Recession, and classroom teachers spend an average of $600 each school year on supplies.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:27 PM on September 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
My memory is of my mom getting me color-coded binders with tremendous organization capability and then just stuffing all my papers in my backpack as usual. I probably wouldn't do much better as an adult, to be honest, but I do enjoy the idea of school/office supplies.
posted by atoxyl at 9:32 PM on September 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by atoxyl at 9:32 PM on September 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
All you young folks getting weepy about your childhood school days while I'm standing there getting misty-eyed about not needing to buy school supplies for my kids who are all gone to college.
posted by straight at 9:35 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by straight at 9:35 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
My best school supply year was the one when my brother dumpster-dived all the brand-new, multi-colored supplies I could ever need, just in time to set me up for law school. Not sure why the store was disposing of unwanted stock that way, but it was pretty great to have all those pens, notebooks, and highlighters when I needed them.
posted by asperity at 10:48 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by asperity at 10:48 PM on September 3, 2017 [7 favorites]
There's something deeply seductive (perhaps even ASMR triggering) about a cluster of new, unsharpened no. 2 pencils, a fresh stack of lined writing paper, a 3-ring binder with color-coded dividers, and a new book bag.
I still have to pause longingly whenever I pass through the school supplies aisle at the drugstore.
posted by darkstar at 1:52 AM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]
I still have to pause longingly whenever I pass through the school supplies aisle at the drugstore.
posted by darkstar at 1:52 AM on September 4, 2017 [4 favorites]
*carves Van Halen logo*
Tremble before my semi-mastery of the Black Sabbath font inside a Celtic cross, emblazoned in blue pen on a matte black binder so it's EXTRA DARK.
Add Eddie from Iron Maiden or GTFO.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:04 AM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Tremble before my semi-mastery of the Black Sabbath font inside a Celtic cross, emblazoned in blue pen on a matte black binder so it's EXTRA DARK.
Add Eddie from Iron Maiden or GTFO.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:04 AM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
If your kids need it to learn, the school should absolutely be supplying it.
Oh! Oh! Is this the part where I mention we have to buy our own reams of paper so my husband can copy exams for his classes because the high school's paper supply runs out in November?
posted by kimberussell at 3:42 AM on September 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
Oh! Oh! Is this the part where I mention we have to buy our own reams of paper so my husband can copy exams for his classes because the high school's paper supply runs out in November?
posted by kimberussell at 3:42 AM on September 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
Yes, you're quite fortunate to have gone to schools well-resourced enough to buy supplies. Not everyone is so privileged. At my children's last schools, parents were asked to buy Kleenex, toilet paper, janitorial supplies, and copy paper, none of which the school could afford in adequate quantity. Of course children were asked to bring pencils, crayons, notebooks, etc.; if the school could have afforded supplies, toilet paper would have been a higher priority than crayons. As would literacy specialists and special ed aides, both of which were desperately needed. Teachers spent enormous amounts to supply their classrooms.
It'd be great if schools were well-resourced enough to provide the necessary supplies to students. But they're not, and as long as school funding is tied to local property taxes, only the wealthiest schools will be. Where I lived already had the highest property taxes in the state by percentage ... There just wasn't enough property value in the city to pay for schools and cops and firefighters because the money was all outside city boundaries in the white flight suburbs.
It's great you went to a school in an area with the property wealth to buy supplies. Not everyone is so fortunate.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:06 AM on September 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
It'd be great if schools were well-resourced enough to provide the necessary supplies to students. But they're not, and as long as school funding is tied to local property taxes, only the wealthiest schools will be. Where I lived already had the highest property taxes in the state by percentage ... There just wasn't enough property value in the city to pay for schools and cops and firefighters because the money was all outside city boundaries in the white flight suburbs.
It's great you went to a school in an area with the property wealth to buy supplies. Not everyone is so fortunate.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:06 AM on September 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
Seasonal school supply depression isn't so much about nostalgia for how great school was, at least not for me, but about how buying school supplies coincided with and came to symbolize an earnest belief in a fresh new start and finally getting one's shit together. For me it was like I want to create something with these things and this time they're going to show me how to do it. It never happened, they never did, but the hope and good feelings of expectation came along every year with the new
This is why I'm addicted to office supplies. Muji will be the death of me someday, I swear to god.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:48 AM on September 4, 2017 [6 favorites]
This is why I'm addicted to office supplies. Muji will be the death of me someday, I swear to god.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:48 AM on September 4, 2017 [6 favorites]
Probably because I was crushed to death by a collapsing pile of matte black notebooks.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:50 AM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:50 AM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
There must be some german word for that feeling you get when someone gets all nostalgic for things that you were too old for when they were new.
Because I dig making up German words: Zualtverständnismangel. Too-old-lack-of-understanding.
posted by lauranesson at 6:06 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
Because I dig making up German words: Zualtverständnismangel. Too-old-lack-of-understanding.
posted by lauranesson at 6:06 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
Average back to school supplies cost as much as average mortgage. (They mean average mortgage payment, rather than the whole mortgage, but you could be forgiven for assuming they meant the entire mortgage. What the fuck are middle-schoolers supposed to buy that costs $1000?)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:55 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:55 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
All you young folks getting weepy about your childhood school days while I'm standing there getting misty-eyed about not needing to buy school supplies for my kids who are all gone to college.
This is certain to be my wife in ten years, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's me too. Our third-grader loves nothing more than school supply shopping. Her favorite day of the summer was July 5th, when Target replaced all the Independence Day stuff with Back to School displays. We didn't even have the supply lists from school yet, but she was begging to go school shopping.
School itself is fine, whatever, but it's the acquiring and organizing supplies that she really loves. She spent two weeks playing "school" with her younger sister, which consisted of unpacking and repacking all of the pencils and other supplies into their backpacks.
posted by nickmark at 7:28 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
This is certain to be my wife in ten years, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's me too. Our third-grader loves nothing more than school supply shopping. Her favorite day of the summer was July 5th, when Target replaced all the Independence Day stuff with Back to School displays. We didn't even have the supply lists from school yet, but she was begging to go school shopping.
School itself is fine, whatever, but it's the acquiring and organizing supplies that she really loves. She spent two weeks playing "school" with her younger sister, which consisted of unpacking and repacking all of the pencils and other supplies into their backpacks.
posted by nickmark at 7:28 AM on September 4, 2017 [3 favorites]
I loved back to school shopping because it meant that I would be spending 8 hours a day away from my father and even though I got bullied at school it was better than the bullying I got at home because your dad is supposed to love and protect you but mine didn't. And then in middle school and high school, I did as many extra curriculars as I could because that meant I was spending even less time at home.
School was my safe place, even when it wasn't especially safe.
posted by cooker girl at 8:45 AM on September 4, 2017 [8 favorites]
School was my safe place, even when it wasn't especially safe.
posted by cooker girl at 8:45 AM on September 4, 2017 [8 favorites]
I loooooooved school and back to school shopping.
(I did go to kinda fancy schools even though we were poor-ish because my mother was a ninja at scholarships and/or working the public school system, depending on the year.)
But the organization, the fun of writing up labels and sliding them into the subject dividers, laying everything out just so, these were such important preambles to all the cool stuff we were going to learn! Covering your books in paper bags and labelling them helped fill in that boring first week.
God I was a nerd, but dammit, I was happy.
posted by dame at 9:23 AM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
(I did go to kinda fancy schools even though we were poor-ish because my mother was a ninja at scholarships and/or working the public school system, depending on the year.)
But the organization, the fun of writing up labels and sliding them into the subject dividers, laying everything out just so, these were such important preambles to all the cool stuff we were going to learn! Covering your books in paper bags and labelling them helped fill in that boring first week.
God I was a nerd, but dammit, I was happy.
posted by dame at 9:23 AM on September 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
My kid's school starts tomorrow but everyone else started last week. And we did not hit up Target until yesterday. Even in July it's hard to find the quad ruled composition book (only thing she needed besides pens and pencils) and impossible the week after all the public school kids have started. We are making due with loose leaf quad and a flexible binder.
But I am so happy I do not have to buy another set of colored pencils again.
posted by vespabelle at 12:31 PM on September 4, 2017
But I am so happy I do not have to buy another set of colored pencils again.
posted by vespabelle at 12:31 PM on September 4, 2017
What the fuck are middle-schoolers supposed to buy that costs $1000?
I'm curious about that too. The Huntington Backpack Index press release says they track a representative basket of goods, but not what those goods are. My kid's list has never come in over $100, even buying all those damn color-coded binders for middle school. This year we did break their $1500 mark for high school, but that included a required laptop (one-time purchase) and a new backpack (only the third since she started school) plus a few textbooks (just as overpriced as you remember). The next three years won't cost nearly that much.
posted by Flannery Culp at 1:06 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm curious about that too. The Huntington Backpack Index press release says they track a representative basket of goods, but not what those goods are. My kid's list has never come in over $100, even buying all those damn color-coded binders for middle school. This year we did break their $1500 mark for high school, but that included a required laptop (one-time purchase) and a new backpack (only the third since she started school) plus a few textbooks (just as overpriced as you remember). The next three years won't cost nearly that much.
posted by Flannery Culp at 1:06 PM on September 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
This "school supplies" BS seems like a massive capitalist scam. If your kids need it to learn, the school should absolutely be supplying it. If the school doesn't supply it, it's probably not strictly needed, but a wishful-thinking, status item.
Wut? Howdy, son of an elementary school teacher, who is now married to a high school math teacher, and we have two little boys, the first is now in first grade. Have you seen the lists of requested items? Our son was asked to bring the usual pencils, paper, crayons, erasers, binders, etc., plus two boxes of tissues and two boxes of sanitary wipes. Not a lot of wishful thinking there.
Our Republican governor, in her kindness and wisdom, has given teachers in New Mexico a $100 Visa-type card to buy supplies once a year for the past few years, instead of pooling that funding and giving it to school districts, where they can save money by buying materials in bulk. And for as long as my wife has been a teacher, she asks for whiteboard markers for Christmas, because the school can't buy enough for the year, with their level of annual funding. And was thrilled to realize she could buy a huge sheet of slick shower wall material, then cut it into 1' by 1' pieces so her high school kids could each have personal whiteboards to show their work on in-class exercises. It doesn't look super fancy, but it was relatively inexpensive and fairly durable, and definitely not something that schools would buy, given their limited budgets.
But this is not new. My mother taught in a fairly wealthy, or at least well-to-do school, in coastal California. When I was a kid, in the 1980s, I remember years when they ran out of school supplies a few months before school was done for the year, so teachers started buying everything they needed for class.
And don't be fooled by technology purchases in schools - those are generally from grants that are only allowed to fund purchases of technology. Why? Because technology is the great equalizer! Or it's modern! Or something. So teachers at small, rural schools, like my wife, will get a whole suite of Apple devices, and a smart board in class, and there might even be money left over, yet you can't buy basic whiteboard markers with that money, nooo, that's not the purpose of the funding. /rant
On a lighter note: “I have spent hours of my life teaching my daughter math and history. I don’t know anything about history. And there’s a lady somewhere willing to teach my daughter about some history? And she wants a yellow binder to do it? I’m gonna get that bitch a yellow binder.”
posted by filthy light thief at 7:48 AM on September 5, 2017 [6 favorites]
Wut? Howdy, son of an elementary school teacher, who is now married to a high school math teacher, and we have two little boys, the first is now in first grade. Have you seen the lists of requested items? Our son was asked to bring the usual pencils, paper, crayons, erasers, binders, etc., plus two boxes of tissues and two boxes of sanitary wipes. Not a lot of wishful thinking there.
Our Republican governor, in her kindness and wisdom, has given teachers in New Mexico a $100 Visa-type card to buy supplies once a year for the past few years, instead of pooling that funding and giving it to school districts, where they can save money by buying materials in bulk. And for as long as my wife has been a teacher, she asks for whiteboard markers for Christmas, because the school can't buy enough for the year, with their level of annual funding. And was thrilled to realize she could buy a huge sheet of slick shower wall material, then cut it into 1' by 1' pieces so her high school kids could each have personal whiteboards to show their work on in-class exercises. It doesn't look super fancy, but it was relatively inexpensive and fairly durable, and definitely not something that schools would buy, given their limited budgets.
But this is not new. My mother taught in a fairly wealthy, or at least well-to-do school, in coastal California. When I was a kid, in the 1980s, I remember years when they ran out of school supplies a few months before school was done for the year, so teachers started buying everything they needed for class.
And don't be fooled by technology purchases in schools - those are generally from grants that are only allowed to fund purchases of technology. Why? Because technology is the great equalizer! Or it's modern! Or something. So teachers at small, rural schools, like my wife, will get a whole suite of Apple devices, and a smart board in class, and there might even be money left over, yet you can't buy basic whiteboard markers with that money, nooo, that's not the purpose of the funding. /rant
On a lighter note: “I have spent hours of my life teaching my daughter math and history. I don’t know anything about history. And there’s a lady somewhere willing to teach my daughter about some history? And she wants a yellow binder to do it? I’m gonna get that bitch a yellow binder.”
posted by filthy light thief at 7:48 AM on September 5, 2017 [6 favorites]
My favorite school supplies shopping trip was for my drawing class in college because it took place at Michael's and included a fancy box to hold everything.
posted by soelo at 11:28 AM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by soelo at 11:28 AM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
Average back to school supplies cost as much as average mortgage. (They mean average mortgage payment, rather than the whole mortgage, but you could be forgiven for assuming they meant the entire mortgage. What the fuck are middle-schoolers supposed to buy that costs $1000?)
From the link that Flannery Culp posted: "Huntington annually obtains classroom-supply lists from a cross-section of schools throughout the eight states it serves and compiles a representative list of required supplies and fees." [emphasis mine] What do you want to bet that there are some sports fees in there?
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:39 AM on September 5, 2017
From the link that Flannery Culp posted: "Huntington annually obtains classroom-supply lists from a cross-section of schools throughout the eight states it serves and compiles a representative list of required supplies and fees." [emphasis mine] What do you want to bet that there are some sports fees in there?
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:39 AM on September 5, 2017
sorry Miko, even in the 90s and all through the early 2000s
I went to school earlier than that. I'm well able to believe it began in the 90s.
It's great you went to a school in an area with the property wealth to buy supplies
I went to poor schools. We just didn't have a lot of supplies. We basically had paper - manila and lined. We had to bring our own pencils, unless it was test time when we got new ones. No copiers yet, just mimeos. So I'm going back a ways in recalling an era in which supplies weren't as huge a deal.
Also, I used to be a teacher (in the 90s) and did buy lots for my classroom, as well as played the hoarding game to sequester the needed supplies away from the competition (exacerbating the problem of scarcity psychology at the same time I tried to combat it). So I'm certainly sympathetic, and well familiar with the issues of school funding and lack of school supplies per student, and the individual family cost schools are expecting people to bear, but where i see this problem as getting out-of-hand is not in the poor, state-controlled districts where I work, but in the wealthy, well-heeled and well-furnished districts where I now live. There is real room for skepticism about "supply creep." If funds are that tight, the school's request for parent-funded supplies should be much more conservative and realistic.
I understand there are legitimate ways in which people are enraged that students and parents and teachers are picking up the gap in public funding. I do hope that those who it affects so directly are organizing about that. If not, then it's just fuel for the general fire stoked by Republican financial philosophy - the state shouldn't have to pay for what the market is willing and able to. This is a situation people seem to be tolerating. I understand that schools do not supply this stuff. My point is that they should.
posted by Miko at 11:54 AM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
I went to school earlier than that. I'm well able to believe it began in the 90s.
It's great you went to a school in an area with the property wealth to buy supplies
I went to poor schools. We just didn't have a lot of supplies. We basically had paper - manila and lined. We had to bring our own pencils, unless it was test time when we got new ones. No copiers yet, just mimeos. So I'm going back a ways in recalling an era in which supplies weren't as huge a deal.
Also, I used to be a teacher (in the 90s) and did buy lots for my classroom, as well as played the hoarding game to sequester the needed supplies away from the competition (exacerbating the problem of scarcity psychology at the same time I tried to combat it). So I'm certainly sympathetic, and well familiar with the issues of school funding and lack of school supplies per student, and the individual family cost schools are expecting people to bear, but where i see this problem as getting out-of-hand is not in the poor, state-controlled districts where I work, but in the wealthy, well-heeled and well-furnished districts where I now live. There is real room for skepticism about "supply creep." If funds are that tight, the school's request for parent-funded supplies should be much more conservative and realistic.
I understand there are legitimate ways in which people are enraged that students and parents and teachers are picking up the gap in public funding. I do hope that those who it affects so directly are organizing about that. If not, then it's just fuel for the general fire stoked by Republican financial philosophy - the state shouldn't have to pay for what the market is willing and able to. This is a situation people seem to be tolerating. I understand that schools do not supply this stuff. My point is that they should.
posted by Miko at 11:54 AM on September 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
I manage a bunch of expat kinderfarten teachers and as part of their initial training I specifically urge them NOT to buy any supplies or materials... My own little bit of subversion, as of course the Chinese managers (and for profit owners) would of course prefer that their employees use a portion of their compensation to subsidize operatibg costs. Fuck that, teachers are already underpaid. The sacrifice is already there... buying shit for the school just adds insult to injury.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:12 AM on September 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 1:12 AM on September 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
> I went to poor schools. We just didn't have a lot of supplies. We basically had paper - manila and lined. We had to bring our own pencils, unless it was test time when we got new ones.
So your parents had to get two kinds of paper, pencils, and erasers. I bet you had a folder or two to keep the paper in, and a pencil case. Probably a ruler. Some notebooks? At a certain point they had to buy pens. I bet someone was providing crayons, colored pencils, or markers. Maybe you needed a calculator or, if you're as old as me, a log book. Kleenex do not fall from the sky.
Thinking of my kids' lists for this year, so far the only newfangled things are a USB flash drive and two pairs of headphones.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:50 PM on September 6, 2017
So your parents had to get two kinds of paper, pencils, and erasers. I bet you had a folder or two to keep the paper in, and a pencil case. Probably a ruler. Some notebooks? At a certain point they had to buy pens. I bet someone was providing crayons, colored pencils, or markers. Maybe you needed a calculator or, if you're as old as me, a log book. Kleenex do not fall from the sky.
Thinking of my kids' lists for this year, so far the only newfangled things are a USB flash drive and two pairs of headphones.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:50 PM on September 6, 2017
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I get sad when I see back-to-school ads because I still have fucking PTSD from 12 years of American public school--and I'm a middle-aged man. I'm supposed to be sad because I can't have cute binders anymore? I've got my own credit cards, I can buy binders to my heart's content if I ever feel like reliving the single most awful series of connected experiences of my life. If there's any thought that gives me comfort at this point, it's the knowledge that whatever I have to face from here on out does NOT involve reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, being made to stand up and publicly announce that I did not do my homework, or going to Gym Class, ever again.
"You’ll have so much fun sniffing them, you’ll forget that your fourth-grade teacher is probably dead." Do tell? And THAT's supposed to depress me? At least a few of my fourth grade teachers could have died under the wheel of a steamroller, and the thought would lift my heart, if only for a moment. I'm glad whoever wrote this article had a nice time in school, but they experience reality very differently than I do, and perhaps shouldn't ASS U ME so much.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 12:31 PM on September 3, 2017 [77 favorites]