Paging Dr. Dolittle. Bring a microscope.
September 7, 2017 7:17 PM   Subscribe

Wild dog packs vote on whether to go hunting: The "ah-choos" have it. And bacteria use brainlike bursts of electricity to communicate. I, for one, welcome our new biofilm overlords and their democratic canid shock troops.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (13 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
When our Frankie really REALLY needs (or wants, honestly) to go out, he adds sneezing to his repertoire or whines, grunts, and sad eyes.

Now I know why. He's even VOTING to go outside!
posted by notsnot at 7:39 PM on September 7, 2017 [9 favorites]


Canine sternutation is no basis for a system of government.
posted by carter at 7:49 PM on September 7, 2017 [14 favorites]


This is fascinating! Given the bacteria biofilm article I intend to brush my teeth thoroughly before bed. Maybe extra-thoroughly now. I don't want them communicating while I'm asleep…
posted by Lexica at 8:09 PM on September 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


The voices in your head turned out to be the world-domination plans of your plaque heard via bone conduction.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:22 PM on September 7, 2017 [6 favorites]


pony request puppy request: Can we have it read "sneezes" rather than "favorites" for this post?
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:44 PM on September 7, 2017 [7 favorites]


Great. Bacteria have a better social life than I do.
posted by pracowity at 11:33 PM on September 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Figlet (my dog) does this!! If he thinks he's earned a treat (by going potty on the pee pad, although when he's sassy he'll walk over and sniff it and try to train us to treat him) , he'll walk over to our kitchen rug, and start stomping his paws. This quickly elevates to doing the bull-pawing-at-the-dirt-type kicking, all 4 paws. Then barking, then very enthusiastically sneezing with exaggerated head movements (up before the sneeze, then way down with a sneezy snort complete with puffing out his jowls at the end). This all happens in about 15 seconds. Now I know why that sneezing is in his repertoire. He's such an asshole.
posted by Fig at 3:10 AM on September 8, 2017 [3 favorites]


My friends' dog does this. When they visit and bring him, he'll sneeze at the door relentlessly when it's time to go.

We'll be having wine and dinner, and at some point he's just done with being at our house. He'll get up, walk to the door, and just sneeze. Constantly. Until they're gone.

We used to say he's allergic to our house. Now we know.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 3:56 AM on September 8, 2017 [3 favorites]


I've seen coyotes do this. The scouts come back and they debate which way to go. Do we go after the sheep? The calves? The alpacas? There is a lot going on there and a lot of snorting. There were also the six of us upwind with rifles.

Poodle will snort and take the Carolinas on an elliptical route to cut them off and drive them back towards us. If we have the horses with us they snort and automatically take their two riders in a mirrored ellipse. We are getting almost all of them every time now when a new group shows up.

It's odd that I never put this together before. Our Fox shows up and snorts at Poodle and they go off together and when Poodle comes back she wants to sleep outside at night and if Fox has little ones she brings them under the front deck and goes out with the dogs.

The Alpacas snort a lot at each other, at me, at Poodle and what's interesting to me and I'm only thinking about now is that when the males form a defensive line they snort and the backbone of the line will position them by snorting and then spitting a green ball of undigested orchard grass at the spot he wants them to be. And there they stay. I saw Jax move the line back by the same method when things were bad.

And then there are the times I exchanged prisoners with bears and deer. Cub treed by Poodle. Fawn herded out of the woods into the mowed part for Poodle to play with. Both of those times the mom's began negotiations by snorting. I took that as aggressive. Boars? You better put the hind end of your spear firmly into the ground and pray. But bear just wanted her cub down the tree and deer just wanted hers back. They both let my toddler go. Snort, snort.

There's something to this.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:16 AM on September 8, 2017 [6 favorites]


Mr. Yuck, please tell me you have a YouTube channel.
posted by eclectist at 6:18 AM on September 8, 2017 [3 favorites]


Sorry. We all got in custody fight hell when I did try something like that. We're abusing children here don't you know? Putting them in harm's way. They love it. They'll see this after school and start snorting at each other just to mess with me.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 7:27 AM on September 8, 2017 [1 favorite]


Bacteria, brain-like bursts of electricity=MMMMMmmmm DONUTS! (If it is true our gut biome runs everything, and of course, trolls our appetites.)
posted by Oyéah at 9:35 AM on September 8, 2017


Mr. Yuck, please tell me you have a YouTube channel.

Also, what species is the toddler?
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:40 PM on September 9, 2017


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