"I knew you'd come back! I just knew it!"
September 12, 2017 8:43 AM   Subscribe

 
I couldn't decide between this title or:

"J.J. come back, you can blame it all on me."
posted by entropicamericana at 8:44 AM on September 12 [13 favorites]


This is the worst case scenario.
posted by fairmettle at 8:45 AM on September 12 [5 favorites]


we're still in the darkest timeline i see.
posted by cendawanita at 8:45 AM on September 12 [10 favorites]


I don't normally find Star Wars-based humour very funny but this was good.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:48 AM on September 12 [18 favorites]


Just last week, the Incomparable Podcast did a draft of possible directors for the next Star Wars movie. J.J.'s name came up, but was pretty much hooted down each time.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:53 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


I'm ok with this.
posted by SansPoint at 8:54 AM on September 12 [7 favorites]


I'm not sure it matters that much. We're really back in the old Hollywood studio system where the director of these big movies is more of a project manager than anything else.
posted by octothorpe at 8:55 AM on September 12 [11 favorites]


The only director that fans seem positive on is Rian Johnson. Who directed a film we haven't seen yet.
posted by selfnoise at 8:56 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


Like Arya Stark, I will make a list of everyone on the internet that makes a lens flare joke and I will cross them off.
posted by munchingzombie at 8:58 AM on September 12 [11 favorites]


Sounds good to me except that I probably won't see the film in theaters because his movies have a tendency to be unreasonably loud.
posted by mattamatic at 8:58 AM on September 12


Ava DuVernay was RIGHT THERE.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:58 AM on September 12 [21 favorites]


It's not far enough out (but not too far) that they could have gotten Patty Jenkins? Or would that have run into Wonder Woman 2?
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:00 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


MEDIOCRE
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:02 AM on September 12 [20 favorites]


i'm less concerned about jj's direction than his scriptwriting tbqh, but at least trevorrow is out
posted by entropicamericana at 9:02 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


The only director that fans seem positive on is Rian Johnson. Who directed a film we haven't seen yet.

But Johnson has directed a number of films and TV shows that we have seen, and they all range from really good to fantastic. That's where the optimism about him as a SW franchise director comes from, and why I was pulling for him to stick around for IX. All that aside, Abrams did a fine job with VII, so it seems like we're on a good track for the next two main installments.

Either of them would have been a dramatic improvement over Trevorrow, who based on his prior work was in no way qualified to take on the task of delivering a satisfying wrap-up to the new trilogy.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:06 AM on September 12 [6 favorites]


I thought since Ava DuVernay was already working in the Disney system with A Wrinkle In Time, she would get the job.

Abrams the director is a known quantity. The success of Episode IX will depend on the script. Another collaboration with Kasdan seems to be our best hope.
posted by vibrotronica at 9:08 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


I thought this conversation about director churn on the Star Wars films was interesting.
posted by Karmakaze at 9:09 AM on September 12 [17 favorites]


Also, Rian Johnson is a genius and I will follow him into fire for Brick alone.
posted by vibrotronica at 9:09 AM on September 12 [14 favorites]


Like Arya Stark, I will make a list of everyone on the internet that makes a lens flare joke and I will cross them off.

Lens flare would be thematic.
posted by thelonius at 9:13 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


This is basically the least surprising choice. And he did a fine enough job on The Force Awakens that I'm not bothered about it.

(Seriously, though. I'm pretty sure Patty Jenkins is booked up with the WW sequel, but Ava Duvernay really was right there...)

However, I do think octothorpe's perspective on this is correct. The studios really do just want directors who can adhere to the house style while keeping the project on schedule and on budget. Hence why JJ Abrams was the "obvious" choice (from a studio perspective) here and Ron Howard was the equally-obvious choice to take over the Han Solo movie from Lord & Miller.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:14 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


They should bring back George Lucas.

I'm serious.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:22 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


get out
posted by entropicamericana at 9:23 AM on September 12 [38 favorites]


I'm not sure it matters that much. We're really back in the old Hollywood studio system where the director of these big movies is more of a project manager than anything else.

yeah, the Star Wars films may have started out as director-led, dare I say auteur movies, (for better or for worse)... but I gather, like a lot of block-busters, they are producer led now. Well, Kathleen Kennedy led. They need someone to decide were to point the camera and bustle the actors along but the overall look and story comes mainly from elsewhere.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:24 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


yes, Jordan Peele would have been a good choice too
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:24 AM on September 12 [15 favorites]


I was amused by the recent story: 'Luke Skywalker becomes Wolverhampton Wanderers FC fan by mistake'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:26 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


george lucas, directing episode ix:

'kathy, i've been thinking about this climatic lightsaber battle between rey and kylo and it seems like it's going to require a lot of work. how about if we just scrap it and replace it with some A-B shots of them sitting on beige sofas and speaking stilted dialogue in as much of a monotone as possible?'
posted by entropicamericana at 9:30 AM on September 12 [6 favorites]


in fairness, George was responsible for the 'duel of the fates' ls fight which is objectively the awesomest climactic ls fight in any of the movies
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:43 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


occasional actor/director Ron Howard

WTF? You mean Oscar-winning director of dozens of features, Richie Cunningham.

BTW, I have it on first hand knowledge that JJ Abrams is an asshole. I hate that, because now I have to pretend to be guilty when I enjoy his movies, which I always do.
posted by w0mbat at 9:44 AM on September 12


in fairness, George was responsible for the 'duel of the fates' ls fight which is objectively the awesomest climactic ls fight in any of the movies

i dont want to relitigate the prequels but your opinion is wrong and you should feel bad
posted by entropicamericana at 9:46 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


#ImWithJar
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:50 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


I am up for relitigating the prequels any day of the week and looks like there are TWO threads I can do it in today. Somebody distract the mods, I'm going in hot
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:51 AM on September 12 [12 favorites]


i'm less concerned about jj's direction than his scriptwriting tbqh

As long as they lock Damon Lindelof in a small metal box with no windows at the bottom of a mine shaft with Raiders-style blowgun traps and no fewer than three hives of angry bees at the entrance until this thing is over, I think I'll be okay with it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:53 AM on September 12 [9 favorites]


They've partnered Abrams with Chris Terrio, screenwriter of both Argo and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. We'll see which face the coin lands on this time.
posted by Iridic at 9:55 AM on September 12


Also, Rian Johnson is a genius and I will follow him into fire for Brick alone.

A Rian Johnson deep cut worth seeking out but possibly hard to find: The Life of the World to Come, his minimalist and charmingly rough (visible dolly tracks, camera still running when being transferred from dolly to handheld and back) one take concert film of the Mountain Goats (classic throwback version, John and Rachel) performing songs from the titular album in an empty auditorium. It scratches that same itch for stripped down unconventional concert films as Demme's Storefront Hitchcock, imo.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:02 AM on September 12 [4 favorites]


>i'm less concerned about jj's direction than his scriptwriting tbqh

As long as they lock Damon Lindelof in a small metal box with no windows at the bottom of a mine shaft with Raiders-style blowgun traps and no fewer than three hives of angry bees at the entrance until this thing is over, I think I'll be okay with it.


Opinions obviously vary, but The Force Awakens had some very Abrams-y writing that I had previously presumed was Lindelof-y (but also thankfully lacked many of Lindelof's worst excesses, which turns out were his influence); which is to say -- I, too, would be much happier if Abrams was directing and not involved in the writing of the script. Abrams is great making scenes come alive with energy; he's less good at writing a plot that makes those scenes make narrative, logical (or simply scientific) sense in context, or that hold up under any sustained thought.

His writing -- to judge by his popularity -- clearly works for many people, and if you enjoy his writing, that's great! I am legitimately happy about that, and what that means for your prospective enjoyment of this next Star Wars installment. However, it's never worked for me, and I'm a bit disappointed that this is where they went after Trevorrow's (thankful) exit.
posted by cjelli at 10:05 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


I really disliked Force Awakens. I enjoyed the ride while watching it but the more I thought about it the less anything made the least lick of sense. And the way horrible events pass by without more than a single reaction shot as acknowledgement was absurd. It's as if in the first film the destruction of Alderaan was promptly forgotten about after Obi Wan had a pained expression on his face. Considering how good Rogue One was, equal to the best of the original trilogy, I'm putting the blame on JJ Abrams.

I'm aware that mine is a minority view, but I suspect Force Awakens won't age well.
posted by Kattullus at 10:07 AM on September 12 [8 favorites]


As long as they lock Damon Lindelof in a small metal box with no windows at the bottom of a mine shaft with Raiders-style blowgun traps and no fewer than three hives of angry bees at the entrance until this thing is over, I think I'll be okay with it.

Let's not take any chances. That box has to be setting on the box that contains Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.
posted by Ber at 10:10 AM on September 12 [10 favorites]


John Waters presents Star Wars IX: Space Flamingos.
posted by delfin at 10:10 AM on September 12 [17 favorites]


The bantha poodoo-eating scene will be one for the ages!
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:14 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


I don't understand all the hate for Lindelof. Have you seen The Leftovers? It was fantastic. All of the good stuff from Lost, with none of the garbage.
posted by nushustu at 10:28 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


Because of all the reshoots interfering with two other gigs, Michael Kenneth "Omar from The Wire" Williams was cut out the Han Solo movie.

The whole situation at DisLucasFilmsney sounds like a real shit-show. Anything with Star Wars in the title is a license to print money, so why all the panic? What the heck is going on over there?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:30 AM on September 12


ha today is let's argue about star wars day i see

i'm ok with jj and lindelof, i liked FA, i looove The Leftovers
posted by numaner at 10:36 AM on September 12


The whole situation at DisLucasFilmsney sounds like a real shit-show. Anything with Star Wars in the title is a license to print money, so why all the panic? What the heck is going on over there?

Somebody decided to hire (relatively) young and up-and-coming directors with a few hits under their belts to direct a mega-massive corporate property and then was shocked, shocked to discover that these guys don't do so well with five layers of Disney executives weighing in on the color of every on-screen button. So now they're scrambling to bring people on board who can finish those jobs without further complication or delay.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 10:43 AM on September 12 [6 favorites]


The Force Awakens was... eh. I very much liked Rey and Finn so it was reasonably pleasant to watch, but Kylo kind of bored me as a villain, and while the Star Wars movies have never been particularly sciency, the special Abrams "I literally understand nothing whatsoever about space" (see: supernovas in the Star Wars reboot) touch of watching a distant solar system blow up in the sky in real time was ridiculous enough to totally distract me.

And the way it was such an unimaginative nearly beat for beat repeat of the original Star Wars felt like watching a fanboy playacting with very expensive toys.
posted by tavella at 11:03 AM on September 12 [6 favorites]


In the future, everyone will direct a Star Wars film for 15 minutes.
posted by curiousgene at 11:04 AM on September 12 [7 favorites]


In the future, everyone will direct a Star Wars film for 15 minutes.

In the past, actually! And it was one of the best Star Wars releases ever.
posted by jason_steakums at 11:12 AM on September 12 [9 favorites]


Kattullus: "It's as if in the first film the destruction of Alderaan was promptly forgotten about after Obi Wan had a pained expression on his face."

Well, the original *does* make a bigger deal of Luke feeling sad about Obi-won's death - a guy he really just met - than about Leia's feelings about her entire freaking planet being blown up.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:14 AM on September 12 [12 favorites]


Maybe Alderaan was just kinda always crap anyway.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:29 AM on September 12 [11 favorites]


Shorter version of the article about Kathleen Kennedy's management of the franchise:

There will still be Mos Eisley without you!
The Jedi will act wisely without you!
There'll be Hutts on Tatooine
Naboo will have its queen
And droids will steal their scenes without you!

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:35 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


fearfulsymmetry: "I was amused by the recent story: 'Luke Skywalker becomes Wolverhampton Wanderers FC fan by mistake'"

I support them because they were mentioned on Monty Python once.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:36 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]


watching a distant solar system blow up in the sky in real time was ridiculous enough to totally distract me
posted by tavella


Me too! I was so confused by that--the planet blows up, then everyone is watching it on another planet, and I thought, "Oh jeez, I didn't realize they're in the same system. That shock wave is going to do some damage." When nothing happened, I spent the next five minutes fuming about the speed of light. I tried to explain it to my partner after the movie ended and she said the usual thing about critiquing the science in a movie with space wizards--but I maintain that is an incredibly confusing scene!
posted by melgy at 11:38 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


Is... is it possible that J.J. Abrams might be a flat earther?
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:41 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


I don't understand all the hate for Lindelof. Have you seen The Leftovers? It was fantastic.

Counterpoint: Prometheus.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 11:51 AM on September 12 [3 favorites]


I'm doing my best not to be bothered by the apparent problem of lightspeed vs the destruction of Dal Tadka being visible from Aloo Gobi (or whatever the systems were called); If you'd also like to not be bothered, here are some alternatives to entertain:
  • The propagation speed of light is much higher in the Star Wars universe
  • Other particles travel faster than light, and particles emitted in the destruction of Dal Tadka interacted strongly enough with Aloo Gobi's upper atomosphere to *look like* an explosion high up in the sky
I mean, in a setting where the planets are all just named after different types of Curry, all the cantinas are crawling with space wizards, and you can travel from star to star in minutes, clearly you're not in a setting where General Relativity holds...
posted by the antecedent of that pronoun at 11:52 AM on September 12 [12 favorites]


Chrysostom: Well, the original *does* make a bigger deal of Luke feeling sad about Obi-won's death - a guy he really just met - than about Leia's feelings about her entire freaking planet being blown up.

Maybe I read too much into it, but it's always seemed to me that Leia's reaction to the destruction of Alderaan was to get intensely focused on revenge. That said, the weight given to that in New Hope is infinitely greater than the destruction of four planets with billions of inhabitants is given in Force Awakens. Also, in the original trilogy there were moments of calm when the audience could reflect on what was happening. Force Awakens, however, hurtles along like a fairground ride.
posted by Kattullus at 11:57 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]


Force Awakens, however, hurtles along like a fairground ride.

This is, IMO, Ep VII's only real sin. That stupid fucking CGI chase scene on Han's new ship would have been much better spent on character building.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:04 PM on September 12 [3 favorites]


Yeah, the prominence of the explosions in the sky of whatever planet they were on at the time was legitimately confusing to me. Not even because of the speed but because of the size and visibility -- just by being a human being who looks up at the night sky on a regular basis, I know how prominent other planets are when they're near my homeworld (they blend in with the stars) and when they're not (they're not visible at all). The way that scene was shot made me think they were supposed to be moon-and-planet level close, and I got distracted trying to figure out the New Order/Resistance/New Republic geography before realizing it was just bad visual effects.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:10 PM on September 12 [5 favorites]


A Rian Johnson deep cut worth seeking out but possibly hard to find: The Life of the World to Come, his minimalist and charmingly rough (visible dolly tracks, camera still running when being transferred from dolly to handheld and back) one take concert film of the Mountain Goats (classic throwback version, John and Rachel) performing songs from the titular album in an empty auditorium. It scratches that same itch for stripped down unconventional concert films as Demme's Storefront Hitchcock, imo.

whaaaaaaaaaaaat
posted by praemunire at 12:12 PM on September 12 [3 favorites]


clearly you're not in a setting where General Relativity holds...

OK but this raises a question that I've often pondered:
We know SW takes place in a far, far away galaxy, but is there any textual evidence that it also takes place in a different universe, or should it be understood to be our own?

Like, any time the camera pans across one of the numerous vast and fathomless starscapes, can we speculate that among those 10,000 tiny pinpricks of light, one of them is our very own Milky Way shining its dim light to us across the eons?
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:13 PM on September 12


Yeah, the prominence of the explosions in the sky of whatever planet they were on at the time was legitimately confusing to me.

It could be kind of hilariously fixed in a rerelease by CGI'ing like a hologram-lookin' frame around the explosions as if to imply that this breaking news event is so important that someone threw it up on the giant sky TV this planet has, because why not, you have holograms you can totally have giant sky TV emergency broadcast technology.
posted by jason_steakums at 12:22 PM on September 12 [13 favorites]


I appreciate that people want Ava Duvernay to have the best opportunities and that Disney needs to get off its ass and do more diverse hiring.

But personally, I'm glad she isn't wasting years of her life pushing a Star Wars sequel through the production line when she could be making more Meg Murry movies. DO THE WHOLE SERIES, AVA. Before your child actors get too old.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:32 PM on September 12 [3 favorites]


Yeah, the prominence of the explosions in the sky

they're a good band, brent
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:40 PM on September 12 [17 favorites]


Hoth Is Not A Cold Dead Place
posted by Iridic at 12:43 PM on September 12 [5 favorites]


Werner Herzog presents Even Jawas Started Small.
posted by delfin at 1:01 PM on September 12 [4 favorites]


the special Abrams "I literally understand nothing whatsoever about space" (see: supernovas in the Star Wars reboot) touch

Yeah, but I will give Abrams this: he is one of the few directors for whom outer space consistently has three dimensions that matter.

is there any textual evidence that it also takes place in a different universe

There is FTL travel, so it can't be our universe.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:41 PM on September 12 [2 favorites]


Also explosions in space make sound
posted by XMLicious at 1:55 PM on September 12 [2 favorites]


You're about forty years too late to complain about dodgy physics in Star Wars.
posted by octothorpe at 1:59 PM on September 12 [6 favorites]


That does tie in to the fan theory I remember seeing a while ago (probably here) that the emotions and relationships in Star Wars often feel off because the characters in that galaxy are actually bees who just look like humans and wookiees and such.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 2:03 PM on September 12 [5 favorites]


Yesh, the director churn and general chaos surrounding Last Jedi is not encouraging in the slightest.

I've still got some hope, but dang is it worrying.
posted by sotonohito at 2:15 PM on September 12


This isn't Last Jedi, it's the still-untitled Episode IX. Rian Johnson is still in charge of Episode VIII, and as far as I know there've been no publicized screw-ups there (since they pushed the release back to Christmas).
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:39 PM on September 12 [3 favorites]


Trevorrow's working title for Episode IX was Wookiees Come to Earth and Solve the Opioid Crisis.
posted by Iridic at 2:46 PM on September 12 [2 favorites]


Can we just table this conversation one week until the Book of Henry comes out on streaming and you all can watch and then laugh forever about how we almost got a STAR WARS from the same mind that made that infuriatingly (but also hilariously) terrible film? As Dave Holmes said in his amazing piece, "I actually want everyone to see The Book of Henry, just so I don't have to be in this club by myself." I'll just be waiting here, listening to this equally satisfying Blank Check podcast episode.
posted by acidic at 3:23 PM on September 12 [5 favorites]


"… clearly you're not in a setting where General Relativity holds..."

My personal theory on this is that "hyperspace" is travel backwards along a stream of [utimate elementary particles; let's call them photons], from [location of observer] to [source], at very near lightspeed (so, in effect, up to 2x speed of light from the initial observer's frame of reference). There's also a limited ability to jump 'sideways' to immediately-adjacent photon streams to allow some degree of turning.

Hence by travelling through hyperspace you're actually travelling backwards through time from everybody else's frame of reference - but mostly (at least from the individual travelling observer's PoV) preserving causality. Except for those not involved, whose timelines are changed instant by instant as subsequent events unfold.

So, as an example:
  • Starkiller Base fires on Hosnian Prime
  • Han & co, watching on Takodana, sees Hosnian Prime explode. The actual shot travels at lightspeed and so was fired, say, 50,010 years earlier - 50,000 years to travel "half way across the galaxy", and 10 years for the light from Hosnian Prime blowing up to travel to Takodana
  • They jump into hyperspace & travel along the photon stream to Hosnian Prime, arriving nearby (say a fairly safe 10 light-minutes away) just as it explodes
  • They then curve, jumping to sideways-adjacent photon streams, until they're pointed back at Starkiller Base (or, more exactly, where it was some 1500 years ago)
  • They then travel back along the photon stream to Starkiller Base & drop out of hyperspace nearby, arriving some short time (say, 13 hours) after the beam was fired
  • Rey's rescued, Han's <spoilered>, Starkiller Base is blown up, and everybody tootles back through hyperspace to D'Qar along the photon stream from its sun - arriving home just in time for tea, [time spent on Starkiller Base + traveller's apparent travel time] hours later
For simplicity's sake I've left out a couple of side-trips from the movie - e.g. from Takodana to D'Qar then off to Starkiller Base (via Takodana & Hosnian Prime?) - and a whole lot of course-correction (e.g. as you jump from photon to photon in the stream you also want to jump sideways occasionally to account for movement of the source over time). But the basic idea is there…

Oh yeah, it's full of holes, contradictions, and causality-breaking - but not for the people we're following at any given time or the events as they experience them. So by that measure it (a) makes more sense than the in-universe or other fan-hand-wavey "explanations", and (b) suggests that hyperspace travel is only for the most self-absorbed people with a "fuck you, got mine" attitude towards timelines…

(And yes, far too much time on my hands ;)
posted by Pinback at 7:18 PM on September 12 [1 favorite]


I appreciate that people want Ava Duvernay to have the best opportunities and that Disney needs to get off its ass and do more diverse hiring.

But personally, I'm glad she isn't wasting years of her life pushing a Star Wars sequel through the production line when she could be making more Meg Murry movies. DO THE WHOLE SERIES, AVA. Before your child actors get too old.


It's definitely for the best the person getting stuck making Star Wars from here until the end of the decade is J. J. Abrams.
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 7:59 PM on September 12 [1 favorite]


> I don't understand all the hate for Lindelof. Have you seen The Leftovers? It was fantastic.

Counterpoint: Prometheus.


I never bothered with Prometheus, but I loved The Leftovers, and the sense that I got from it was that Perrotta was an ideal partner who was able to rein in some of Lindelof's worst excesses and show him a better way. The Leftovers has Lindelof's sentimentality, which is a solid strength for the kinds of stories he likes to tell as long as you show the right kind of restraint. I believe Tom Perrotta was that restraint. Also, orgy sex boat lions.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:18 PM on September 12 [2 favorites]


Also I don't want to shift topics off of the OP but I finally read AWiT a couple of weeks ago and honestly it was just sort of fine to me. Maybe it had been built up too much for me, but I found it kind of a letdown that leaned too hard on the "gifted children" thing, and that made me sad. I hope the movie rules because I know it's important to a lot of people.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:21 PM on September 12 [1 favorite]


as far as I know there've been no publicized screw-ups there (since they pushed the release back to Christmas).

It wasn't a screwup.

It was Disney realizing that turning Star Wars into an annual holiday event means more money, because there's lots of free time for families to go see the movie and because it becomes an annual tradition which means people will question spending the aforementioned money even less than they otherwise would and because if every other studio knows that the week before Christmas there is a Star Wars it means they schedule their biggest blockbuster releases of the year for literally any other time other than "against Star Wars, the most popular film franchise on the entire planet ever."

They just made it sound like an accident because that sounds more friendly than the cold, viciously logical, marketing-driven decision it obviously was.
posted by mightygodking at 11:33 PM on September 12 [3 favorites]


It was Disney realizing that turning Star Wars into an annual holiday event means more money

It already was a holiday event. Always released close to Memorial Day, just in time for a long weekend and the beginning of summer. The move to December makes me a bit cranky, actually. But that's because I'm old and afraid of change.
posted by hippybear at 12:25 AM on September 13


They should bring back George Lucas.

I'm serious.


I agree - - and so did Lucas in this 1977 interview in Rolling Stone:

"What I want to do is direct the last sequel. I could do the first one and the last one and let everyone else do the ones in between."
posted by fairmettle at 2:45 AM on September 13 [1 favorite]


This thread still kind of works if one substitutes "Marvel" or "Pixar" for "Star Wars". All three are tentpoles that support multiple streams of revenue for the corporation.
posted by ZeusHumms at 4:57 AM on September 13


I think if you delayed Episode IX until Lucas has been forced to direct and throw out at least five movies, you'd be okay. The prequels got steadily less bad as they went forward, to the point were Ep III had a few moments that were legitimately pretty good. Clearly he needed to re-learn how to make a movie after a 20-year hiatus or whatever it was. So let him get five crap-to-okay movies out of his system, and set some kind of CGI limit that he has to honor or we start taking toes, and he could round the series out nicely.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:17 AM on September 13


Well, that and get Lucas a film editor who knows her stuff, like he had during the first trilogy.
posted by Karmakaze at 5:44 AM on September 13 [6 favorites]


They should bring back George Lu-

You have failed me for the last time, Atom Eyes.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:52 AM on September 13 [8 favorites]


Pinback, that's more or less the backstory of how FTL works in cstross's pair of novels, Singularity Sky and Iron Sunrise: FTL exists, it's equivalent to time travel, but (almost) everyone chooses to use it in a way that doesn't violate global causality Because Reasons Explored In The Novels.
posted by the antecedent of that pronoun at 6:14 AM on September 13 [1 favorite]


See also Ken MacLeod's _Newton's Wake_, a post-singularity setting where FTL is-or-can-be time travel but SPOILER
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. some uploaded post-people do unexplained things to preserve global causality. People whose trips would violate causality, whether intentionally or not, find that their FTL method just refuses to work for them that time. The hyperdrive just doesn't start, the wormhole/farcaster network deposits you somewhere and somewhen causally "safe" instead of where and when you wanted to go.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:57 AM on September 13


EndsOfInvention: "You have failed me for the last time, Atom Eyes."

He felt surprise was wiser....
posted by Chrysostom at 7:31 AM on September 13 [2 favorites]


I don't understand all the hate for Lindelof. Have you seen The Leftovers? It was fantastic.

Counterpoint: Prometheus.


Counter-counterpoint: Covenant. Those movies horrible wtfness fall squarely on Scott's shoulders.
posted by P.o.B. at 9:39 AM on September 13 [2 favorites]


the antecedent of that pronoun: "Pinback, that's more or less the backstory of how FTL works in cstross's pair of novels, Singularity Sky and Iron Sunrise"

Huh, yeah, you're right - although I came up with the basic theory when I was 9 (the whole Tatooine -> Alderaan / Death Star -> Yavin trip), I hadn't really connected the two before. Thinking about it now, I guess the only real difference is my theory has the protagonists' personal frame of causality being the limiting factor, rather than the Eschaton sitting in the background waiting to be dicks about it ;)

I must admit I couldn't really get into those novels when I read them (sorry, cstross!), so I only half-registered the details as I let them wash over me. (In my defence, I'd come straight to them from the Saturns Children novels, which solve much the same problem by having protagonists who expect to wait for the effects to reach them...)
posted by Pinback at 6:12 AM on September 15


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