A day late but still relevant
September 23, 2017 2:55 PM   Subscribe

 
He's in for a Fall.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:02 PM on September 23, 2017




I should be Autumn Man right now, but nooooo... it's ninety fucking three degrees outside, in Illifuckingnois.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:28 PM on September 23, 2017 [5 favorites]


Autumn Man
Autumn Man
Does whatever an Autumn can
Walks through leaves
Very nice
Consumes lots of
Pumpkin Spice
Look out
Here comes the Autumn Man.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:41 PM on September 23, 2017 [15 favorites]


There's a heat wave here in S. Ontario the last week. This is bullshit.

Where's my sweater weather?!
posted by Fizz at 3:54 PM on September 23, 2017 [3 favorites]


It's been 80+ degrees in New York, as the greedy, awful summer clings on to its last few days. Bring on the fall weather.
posted by codacorolla at 4:08 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


Me, born in New York, living in Southern California, sorting through closet for potential Goodwill/eBay/trash items today: Twelve cardigans?!?!

(I will panic-buy at least three more within the next ten days, to feel less queasily unprepared.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:14 PM on September 23, 2017


Me, this morning, to our cat, after some discussion of what fall decorations we're going to put around the house: "It's decorative gourd season, mother fucker!"

My husband: "...Why are you swearing at the cat?"

::Proceeds to have the delight of watching husband read through the McSweeney's piece for the first time::
posted by damayanti at 4:32 PM on September 23, 2017 [5 favorites]


I am Mr. Autumn man but I live in Los Angeles now, so you can imagine what a good time I'm having.
posted by davejay at 4:44 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


Any questions?
posted by schmod at 4:45 PM on September 23, 2017 [2 favorites]


Ha! this guy takes 3 months to turn into an asshole! I did it in a day!
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:48 PM on September 23, 2017


20 years from now we'll all wonder where Spring and Autumn went to.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:46 PM on September 23, 2017 [2 favorites]


Mr. Northern California Man
posted by Going To Maine at 7:37 PM on September 23, 2017


Grew up in Michigan, live in Georgia now. This is me.
posted by dhens at 8:14 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


When Autum comes
And winds blow chil
And Skwirl with nuts
Her caches fill
I don't crunch acorns
In my teef
I stepp aside
I crunch that leaf
posted by moonmilk at 8:28 PM on September 23, 2017 [3 favorites]


SPOILER ALERT:

“You’ve got to take it all in and enjoy it while you still can, though, because December will be here in the blink of an eye,” he added.

According to reports, Mr. Fall will then put on a down jacket with a fur-trimmed hood, buy a lift ticket at a local ski slope, and start getting short with people at work because the early sunset “affects his mood,” thus signaling the completion of his metamorphosis into Mr. Wintertime Asshole Man.

posted by philip-random at 8:57 PM on September 23, 2017


20 years from now we'll all wonder where Spring and Autumn went to.

MAD MAX: ETERNAL SUMMER

a documentary by George Miller
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:50 PM on September 23, 2017


Mr. fucking Autumn Man is one of the damned harbingers. I'm glad you all welcome him because if I see him in the Mojave, I will lose my shit. In all seriousness, fall just increases my winter panic. I don't know how you all deal with it.
posted by bonje at 11:52 PM on September 23, 2017


I'm Canadian. My middle name is winter. Dress in layers and make sure you've got winter f***ing tires.
posted by philip-random at 12:20 AM on September 24, 2017


All you Autumn f*ckers can take a whole bag of dicks right in your ears. Summer is the only season fit for humankind and its end is to be greeted with fear and loathing..
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:38 AM on September 25, 2017


Summer? Where I still have to go to work every day, except it's unbearably hot? It's nice for kids, I guess.
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on September 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


In soviet Texas Autumn summers you.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:03 PM on September 25, 2017


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