“Ethiopia,” I venture. - “Which Ethiopia?”
October 24, 2017 1:44 PM Subscribe
Coffee as Existential Statement: A Crisis in Every Cup on Valencia Street.
Theodore Gioia, on contemporary coffee culture: ‘Historically, the coffee house was a center of learning and knowledge, the birthplace of the newspaper and the encyclopedia. “A sort of democratic club,” mused author Stefan Zweig [...] The death of the cafe signals a larger shift in values; the contemporary consumer does not seek space for their inner life but their outer persona. So through the gradual tides of gentrification, neighborhoods slowly evict the old-fashioned cafe and renovate the democratic club as a playground for plutocrats.‘
Supplemental reading (like a pastry on the side) - Seth Fowler on Coffeehouse Culture in Vienna [DOC]: ‘Coffee and cafés are a pervasive part of today’s Western culture with millions of people visiting these establishments every day. It is no surprise, then, that chains and franchises like Starbucks have seen an incredible expansion of demand all over the world. While coffee as a drink and all its various incarnations are certainly a part of their popularity, there is another, more historical legacy to the café and its precursor, the coffeehouse.‘
Supplemental reading (like a pastry on the side) - Seth Fowler on Coffeehouse Culture in Vienna [DOC]: ‘Coffee and cafés are a pervasive part of today’s Western culture with millions of people visiting these establishments every day. It is no surprise, then, that chains and franchises like Starbucks have seen an incredible expansion of demand all over the world. While coffee as a drink and all its various incarnations are certainly a part of their popularity, there is another, more historical legacy to the café and its precursor, the coffeehouse.‘
Entire paragraphs of this essay are devoted to explaining how you tell the person behind the counter what you want, and then they repeat it back to you to confirm they have the order right. This is presented if this is some kind of ridiculous new procedure never before employed on the planet except on Valencia St.
I'm also fond of the section where the author is surprised that they must choose from a list of options for their order, a list prominently posted in front of them during a time period in which they had nothing else to do. Or as Lisa McIntire explained last night: "This asshole waits in line for 10 minutes but can’t read a menu."
I do not understand who decided to publish this or why.
posted by zachlipton at 2:29 PM on October 24, 2017 [13 favorites]
I'm also fond of the section where the author is surprised that they must choose from a list of options for their order, a list prominently posted in front of them during a time period in which they had nothing else to do. Or as Lisa McIntire explained last night: "This asshole waits in line for 10 minutes but can’t read a menu."
I do not understand who decided to publish this or why.
posted by zachlipton at 2:29 PM on October 24, 2017 [13 favorites]
Newcomers to Philz flail against the shoals of their uncaring fjords. "Light, light" the weather dial said, and we all turned gray. How could they know which was cream, and which was sugar? How could they even understand that sweetness was demanded? Howls of "Red Sea" and "Medium Light" and "Almond Honey" echoed in their ears as they stood, voiceless and mute, as yet another victim was claimed by the onboarding process.
posted by crysflame at 2:29 PM on October 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by crysflame at 2:29 PM on October 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
(I also do not understand, but they're not wrong about Philz. The entire first-time experience is completely hand-crafted around your total shock at being led through an incomprehensible menu and ordering process by someone cheerful.)
posted by crysflame at 2:31 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by crysflame at 2:31 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I mean, yeah it's a bit confusing, but Starbucks forced the entire country to say "tall" instead of "small," so a coffee shop that asks how sweet you want it really seems pretty straightforward in comparison.
posted by zachlipton at 2:36 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by zachlipton at 2:36 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I was feeling let down by the title, so I went on a little Google hole of actual coffee shops in Addis Ababa. And then managed to close all the windows, so I don't have links, but here's one little review site I found.
posted by ambrosen at 2:46 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 2:46 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I mean, yeah it's a bit confusing, but Starbucks forced the entire country to say "tall" instead of "small"
Has anyone actually, personally gone into a Starbucks and asked for a small and been glared at or corrected by the staff? This has literally never happened to me in my life.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:59 PM on October 24, 2017 [19 favorites]
Has anyone actually, personally gone into a Starbucks and asked for a small and been glared at or corrected by the staff? This has literally never happened to me in my life.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:59 PM on October 24, 2017 [19 favorites]
Goddamn this was a dumb article. I live in the neighborhood and I have been to all the coffeeshops in question, at least one of which isn't a "coffeeshop" at all but a bakery that has an espresso machine.
The writer sounds like someone who doesn't like coffee very much, and had a impending deadline.
Like what is the point here? That there are places to get coffee that don't fit into the aesthetic you prefer? That there are places that have to make rent, and people who linger all day with a bottle of water drag you into the red? That baristas shouldn't be good at what they do? That coffee shouldn't cost more than $1, and caring about how much farmers and staff get paid is pretension? That people who care about what their food and drink tastes like are counter-revolutionary??
Like... I honestly don't know, because this article was such a mess.
posted by danny the boy at 3:00 PM on October 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
The writer sounds like someone who doesn't like coffee very much, and had a impending deadline.
Like what is the point here? That there are places to get coffee that don't fit into the aesthetic you prefer? That there are places that have to make rent, and people who linger all day with a bottle of water drag you into the red? That baristas shouldn't be good at what they do? That coffee shouldn't cost more than $1, and caring about how much farmers and staff get paid is pretension? That people who care about what their food and drink tastes like are counter-revolutionary??
Like... I honestly don't know, because this article was such a mess.
posted by danny the boy at 3:00 PM on October 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
I do not understand who decided to publish this or why.
I surmise the answer may be his dad — as far as I can tell this isn't by the talented Ted but rather by his nephew Theodore, on whose talent I'll refrain from commenting.
posted by RogerB at 3:02 PM on October 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
I surmise the answer may be his dad — as far as I can tell this isn't by the talented Ted but rather by his nephew Theodore, on whose talent I'll refrain from commenting.
posted by RogerB at 3:02 PM on October 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
Going for a Triple Franzen right out of the gate. Impressive.
posted by octobersurprise at 3:07 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by octobersurprise at 3:07 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I wasn't a barista for very long or very recently, but it was long enough and recent enough the urge to reach out and slap this jerk upside the head is hard to ignore. It takes real skill to convey that level of neurosis and narcissism in a short essay that's nominally about coffee.
posted by eotvos at 3:09 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by eotvos at 3:09 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
On the one hand, the piece was a little obnoxious and looking at the author's photo makes me want to punch him. On the other hand, I do find contemporary cafe culture a little precious and anti-social (in sharp contrast to the coffee culture of the early 20th century). And this paragraph ran true to me as a Bay Area resident:
As it happens, the notion that coffee shops have mission statements and start revolutions is characteristic of the diffuse political self-image of the Bay Area’s dining elite, whose revolutionary rhetoric elevates marginal improvements in comfort goods to grand idealistic causes. Complex geopolitical quandaries are reduced to neat consumer choices between expensive “ethical” products (buying costly fair-trade coffee is “good”) and cheaper “unethical” products (buying normal coffee is “bad”). San Francisco puts a premium price tag on ethics that few can afford.posted by crazy with stars at 3:17 PM on October 24, 2017 [9 favorites]
GETTING A MORNING COFFEE on Valencia Street, San Francisco’s high hipster avenue, is not merely buying a drink: it is making an existential statement.
Jesus how did you guys even get past that first sentence? I did a Krysten Ritter-worthy eyeroll and closed the window.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Jesus how did you guys even get past that first sentence? I did a Krysten Ritter-worthy eyeroll and closed the window.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I mean the kind of aggressive head-in-assery that is going to put both Philz and Four Barrel on the same (morally wrong) side of a line offends me as someone who also has to use the english language. Like the dude's job is words, can you believe it?
Philz is for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it taste like things you've had at children's birthday parties, and Four Barrel is for people who like to look at photos of the plantation their pour-over is from. The only way that grouping makes any sense is if you're championing 2 day old truck stop coffee instead.
posted by danny the boy at 3:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
Philz is for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it taste like things you've had at children's birthday parties, and Four Barrel is for people who like to look at photos of the plantation their pour-over is from. The only way that grouping makes any sense is if you're championing 2 day old truck stop coffee instead.
posted by danny the boy at 3:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
The Borderlands folks really are that chipper tho. (hugs to Borderlands)
posted by feckless at 3:25 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by feckless at 3:25 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Philz is for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it taste like things you've had at children's birthday parties
I'm just glad this guy didn't visit HOME, which is truly for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it both taste and look like things you've had at children's birthday parties.
If you're going to make fun of a coffee shop, at least pick one that's worth ragging on.
posted by zachlipton at 3:27 PM on October 24, 2017
I'm just glad this guy didn't visit HOME, which is truly for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it both taste and look like things you've had at children's birthday parties.
If you're going to make fun of a coffee shop, at least pick one that's worth ragging on.
posted by zachlipton at 3:27 PM on October 24, 2017
The author is treading through a tired old trope, really: "It's just coffee, why do I need to care about it at all?" It's been written by many and repeated umpteen times by inverted snobs across, well, everywhere.
I'm sure that if this fellow had a lawn he'd be yelling at any kids who dared walk across it.
posted by wolpfack at 3:33 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm sure that if this fellow had a lawn he'd be yelling at any kids who dared walk across it.
posted by wolpfack at 3:33 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you're going to make fun of a coffee shop, at least pick one that's worth ragging on.
Philz is worth ragging on. Its coffee is bad far out of proportion to the cult of its coffee.
posted by kenko at 4:00 PM on October 24, 2017
Philz is worth ragging on. Its coffee is bad far out of proportion to the cult of its coffee.
posted by kenko at 4:00 PM on October 24, 2017
I'm probably as cranky about precious third-wave coffee culture as anybody (second-wave coffee all the way! Scarlet City in Emeryville is delightful) but this is peevish and silly.
Ritual Roasters. Four Barrel. The Blue Fig. Craftsman and Wolves. Glazed with polished alliterations and alluring adjectives, the names leave an iron aftertaste of brand awareness and search engine optimization on the palette.
...I count one instance of alliteration (Ritual Roasters) and one adjective (Blue).
The fashionable formula seems to involve taking a familiar item and injecting it with a slightly unusual accent — a blue hue or the fourth barrel — to lift the tediously literal into the intriguingly suggestive.
Really? Somehow it being Four Barrel is more "intriguingly suggestive" than if it'd been boring old Three Barrel?
Borderlands Cafe is attached to a science-fiction bookstore and attracts the sort of unsmiling patrons who identity as a “writer” with the utmost solemnity.
And that's when I muttered "oh, fuck off" and closed the tab.
posted by Lexica at 4:06 PM on October 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Ritual Roasters. Four Barrel. The Blue Fig. Craftsman and Wolves. Glazed with polished alliterations and alluring adjectives, the names leave an iron aftertaste of brand awareness and search engine optimization on the palette.
...I count one instance of alliteration (Ritual Roasters) and one adjective (Blue).
The fashionable formula seems to involve taking a familiar item and injecting it with a slightly unusual accent — a blue hue or the fourth barrel — to lift the tediously literal into the intriguingly suggestive.
Really? Somehow it being Four Barrel is more "intriguingly suggestive" than if it'd been boring old Three Barrel?
Borderlands Cafe is attached to a science-fiction bookstore and attracts the sort of unsmiling patrons who identity as a “writer” with the utmost solemnity.
And that's when I muttered "oh, fuck off" and closed the tab.
posted by Lexica at 4:06 PM on October 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Philz is for people who want to put sugar in their coffee and have it taste like things you've had at children's birthday parties
But that's why they ask you if you want cream and sugar . . . and you say "just cream" or "light on the sugar". There is some variability in the outcome depending on who makes it but it's generally marvelous without the sugar.
posted by treepour at 4:13 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
But that's why they ask you if you want cream and sugar . . . and you say "just cream" or "light on the sugar". There is some variability in the outcome depending on who makes it but it's generally marvelous without the sugar.
posted by treepour at 4:13 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Huh. I should try Philz; apparently there's one a few blocks from where I work. I have no interest in the drama and shock aspects, but I'd love to figure out what kind of coffee I actually like, since I've shifted from "just throw a packet of instant cocoa in it and also add some sugar."
I'm one of the ones who still says small-medium-large at Starbucks, and the barrista always politely asks, did you mean tall-vente-grande (or whatever the order is), and I say yes. I might've start using their terms, except no, I am not going to call the small coffe a "tall." There is nothing reasonable about that label, and I reject the whole set.
This article, though... erm. It reads like he had one particular coffee house he used to love, and it's gone now, and he thinks everyone else is doing coffee wrong.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 4:25 PM on October 24, 2017
I'm one of the ones who still says small-medium-large at Starbucks, and the barrista always politely asks, did you mean tall-vente-grande (or whatever the order is), and I say yes. I might've start using their terms, except no, I am not going to call the small coffe a "tall." There is nothing reasonable about that label, and I reject the whole set.
This article, though... erm. It reads like he had one particular coffee house he used to love, and it's gone now, and he thinks everyone else is doing coffee wrong.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 4:25 PM on October 24, 2017
Confusing because the "Ted Gioia" link points to Ted Gioia the highly regarded jazz historian but the article is by Theodore Gioia (as has been pointed out, son of the poet Dana Gioia) who is apparently a young man who has only recently started wearing big-boy pants and drinking coffee...
posted by anguspodgorny at 4:31 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by anguspodgorny at 4:31 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sorry for the Ted/Theodore mixup, I’m alerting the mods. (Is ‘not enough coffee’ a good excuse?)
Having been weaned on café/kaffeehaus type places growing up in Germany, I enjoyed his takedown of 3rd wave coffee places. Yeah it’s heavy-handed, but tbh so is a lot of the propaganda/marketing around the ‘perfect’ coffee...it’s such an American approach, this idea to revolutionize something that has been around for thousands of years.
I have to say, enjoy Philz just as much as my laid-back mediocre café spot, they do serve different purposes though. Have never liked Blue Bottle.
posted by The Toad at 4:49 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Having been weaned on café/kaffeehaus type places growing up in Germany, I enjoyed his takedown of 3rd wave coffee places. Yeah it’s heavy-handed, but tbh so is a lot of the propaganda/marketing around the ‘perfect’ coffee...it’s such an American approach, this idea to revolutionize something that has been around for thousands of years.
I have to say, enjoy Philz just as much as my laid-back mediocre café spot, they do serve different purposes though. Have never liked Blue Bottle.
posted by The Toad at 4:49 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
it’s such an American approach, this idea to revolutionize something that has been around for thousands of years.
Uh, Japan would like to have a word with you.
posted by danny the boy at 5:32 PM on October 24, 2017
Uh, Japan would like to have a word with you.
posted by danny the boy at 5:32 PM on October 24, 2017
Philz is worth ragging on. Its coffee is bad far out of proportion to the cult of its coffee.
There is some variability in the outcome depending on who makes it but it's generally marvelous without the sugar.
I feel I should say that there's nothing wrong with your morning beverage tasting like jellybeans and birthday cake if that's what you want. That's what most people get out of Starbucks.
I'm not mad at Philz. What do I care if someone enjoys something I don't? That's the source of my irritation with this article. Not even that it's all my-beliefs-are-the-only-correct-ones--but I can't even tell what those beliefs are, exactly.
posted by danny the boy at 5:39 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
There is some variability in the outcome depending on who makes it but it's generally marvelous without the sugar.
I feel I should say that there's nothing wrong with your morning beverage tasting like jellybeans and birthday cake if that's what you want. That's what most people get out of Starbucks.
I'm not mad at Philz. What do I care if someone enjoys something I don't? That's the source of my irritation with this article. Not even that it's all my-beliefs-are-the-only-correct-ones--but I can't even tell what those beliefs are, exactly.
posted by danny the boy at 5:39 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Danny the boy, not saying this doesn’t happen elsewhere (surely, every industrialized country has these precious ‘artisan’ coffee places by now). Just that this specific approach seems typical of American contemporary culture. Specifically, the culture of Bay Area ‘disruptiveness’ where everyone needs to profess to be ‘changing the world’, even if they’re just selling a hot drink or a juice machine or whatever. I *do* like coffee (am kind of a coffee snob actually) but the intensity is kind of tiring in high concentrations...
posted by The Toad at 5:44 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The Toad at 5:44 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Mod note: made what I hope is an appropriate edit to the post to fix the Ted/Theodore thing. Drop us an email if it didn't work right.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:23 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:23 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Hey! An article about coffeeshops on Valencia St, which I've been frequenting for the last ten years. I'm going to like this article...
I'm not going to like this guy's writing, am I?
This author is insufferable.
Also, there is no Philz on Valencia St.
posted by AlSweigart at 6:59 PM on October 24, 2017 [9 favorites]
These premeditated permutations are marketing code, a semiotic wink telling a certain class of affluent trend-conscious consumers......
I'm not going to like this guy's writing, am I?
Borderlands Cafe is attached to a science-fiction bookstore and attracts the sort of unsmiling patrons who identity as a “writer” with the utmost solemnity.The snarkiness of calling them quote-unquote writers is big talk coming from you and your thesaurus of five dollar words, buddy.
This author is insufferable.
Also, there is no Philz on Valencia St.
posted by AlSweigart at 6:59 PM on October 24, 2017 [9 favorites]
so coffee shops are bougie but like minus the class criticism and demographic/historical contexts but by attempting to appear even more cultured/elite/bougie and then trying to punch down
we got ourselves a young Jonathan Franzen in the making, I see
posted by runt at 7:34 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
we got ourselves a young Jonathan Franzen in the making, I see
posted by runt at 7:34 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love these little vignettes, like sketches or little glimpses of the writer's experience. Sure, the piece isn't deep and could have benefited from another edit.... but these sketches give me a really vibrant sense of the atmosphere. I mean, all of us Bay Area folks have totally run into that Franzen guy at some coffee shop, right?
And I miss the "second-wave" homey, hippie, grungy coffee shops with the burnt dark roast. They still exist here but are increasingly rare. I find that the cafes popping up now have that antiseptic Perfectly Branded feeling, and perhaps that reflects the changes going on in this particular neighborhood.
posted by shalom at 8:00 PM on October 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
And I miss the "second-wave" homey, hippie, grungy coffee shops with the burnt dark roast. They still exist here but are increasingly rare. I find that the cafes popping up now have that antiseptic Perfectly Branded feeling, and perhaps that reflects the changes going on in this particular neighborhood.
posted by shalom at 8:00 PM on October 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
this isn't by the talented Ted but rather by his nephew Theodore, on whose talent I'll refrain from commenting.
I shan't refrain. If there's anything more irritating than an overpromoted legacy case, it's an overpromoted legacy case who thinks that he's actually better than "Frustrated Franzen" or those wannabes at Borderlands. Not terribly likely, with lines like "Ten writhing tentacles pound his hollow cheek like a crazed percussion section at the end of the 1812 Overture." Dig it--Tchaikovsky meets Cthulhu! Don't give up your day job, kid.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:44 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I shan't refrain. If there's anything more irritating than an overpromoted legacy case, it's an overpromoted legacy case who thinks that he's actually better than "Frustrated Franzen" or those wannabes at Borderlands. Not terribly likely, with lines like "Ten writhing tentacles pound his hollow cheek like a crazed percussion section at the end of the 1812 Overture." Dig it--Tchaikovsky meets Cthulhu! Don't give up your day job, kid.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:44 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I couldn’t read the whole thing (usually love LA Review of Books though!), but what was weird to me is Original Philz is like, quintisentially coffee shop! It has old shitty falling apart furniture, people stay for hours, it’s owned by a Palestinian immigrant for gosh’s sake! I don’t know, I haven’t been there in a few years so maybe it’s changed, and I know it’s a chain now, but people sit around talking at Philz! I know everyone is on their phones now, but you can also sit there and study for your finals or shoot the shit or whatever.
posted by latkes at 10:12 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by latkes at 10:12 PM on October 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Has anyone actually, personally gone into a Starbucks and asked for a small and been glared at or corrected by the staff?
Don't be silly, of course not. Nobody wants a small coffee. I've had large corrected to "grande" or whatever nonsense often enough, though.
posted by Dysk at 3:11 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
Don't be silly, of course not. Nobody wants a small coffee. I've had large corrected to "grande" or whatever nonsense often enough, though.
posted by Dysk at 3:11 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
I can't believe he didn't mention Muddy Waters, so this was a specific takedown of... what, I am unsure.
I have never ordered a "grande" at Starbucks, I've always said medium, and the order-taker has never corrected me. And I'm in the Bay Area, so that's a data point.
posted by honey badger at 5:05 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have never ordered a "grande" at Starbucks, I've always said medium, and the order-taker has never corrected me. And I'm in the Bay Area, so that's a data point.
posted by honey badger at 5:05 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
Not terribly likely, with lines like "Ten writhing tentacles pound his hollow cheek like a crazed percussion section at the end of the 1812 Overture." Dig it--Tchaikovsky meets Cthulhu!
With lines like that, don't you want to know whatthe Beav young Theodore thinks about The Olive Garden? He's gonna tell you on his podcast, the aptly named If You’ll Indulge Me.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:48 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
With lines like that, don't you want to know what
posted by octobersurprise at 7:48 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
I had thought that Ted Gioia (Author of History of Jazz etc.) is the son of the poet, but Wikipedia says he is his brother. TIL.
Anyway, nthing that this seems pretty un-factual and axe-grindy. There are two locally owned, really nice coffee shops within a mile of where I live. One of them has absolutely every community-positive thing you could dream of: food trucks on weekends, bands, amateur music groups, poetry readings, children's story time. I suppose there are some customers there who are kidding themselves about being great writers, but they do not pick my pocket.
posted by thelonius at 8:16 AM on October 25, 2017
Anyway, nthing that this seems pretty un-factual and axe-grindy. There are two locally owned, really nice coffee shops within a mile of where I live. One of them has absolutely every community-positive thing you could dream of: food trucks on weekends, bands, amateur music groups, poetry readings, children's story time. I suppose there are some customers there who are kidding themselves about being great writers, but they do not pick my pocket.
posted by thelonius at 8:16 AM on October 25, 2017
Let me just get this off my chest, and then we can all go back to talking about the article, the author, coffee, etc.
I've completely lost patience with being obsessed with getting a perfect coffee (or bar of chocolate or grilled artichoke or whatever), and especially at the self-deception that comes with calling it a "revolution". Maybe that's because - and this is going to get a little preachy - we're living at at a time when there really is a plutocratic revolution going on in this country and crazy rich fuckers are getting more and more powerful and the rest of us are paying the price. I bet that 90% of the people mentioned in this article or who works in, drinks or thinks about coffee in these terms is someone who Donald Trump would consider to be a raving Communist San Fran liberal. So I couldn't help thinking, hey, what if instead of spending your time and energy to build a perfect fucking coffee shop, why not spend some time working on health care policy, or organizing a union, or running for local office in the suburb you grew up in that used to be a little utopian experiment but is now completely controlled by loony Republicans dedicated to destroying public schools and tearing up the bike lanes. Or something. And no, buying "fair-trade" coffee doesn't count. Neither does the minimalist Facebook activism.
What does count? I don't know. I have no fucking idea, actually. That's what's so fucking terrifying, that instead of having lots of people trying to figure out what to do about the fucking crazy bad shit that's happening in DC and around the country, we're all obsessed with making a better cup of coffee, or an app that picks up our laundry or developing an algorithm that maximizes page views for cat videos. And OK, its not like I'm doing much either, TBH. Calls and letters to the Hill, getting engaged in some local stuff, talking half-seriously in my little crew of friends about which one of us might run for a local office maybe sorta if we could figure out where to get the time and money. I know this sounds like a rant against techies or millennials, or kind of coffee shop (ha) Peter Singer-ism, where every dollar you don't spend on saving dying children is a dollar that makes you a more evil person. That is not where I was thinking this little screed would end up.
Yeah, this article has some of the same preciousness and know-it-all-ness that is annoying in the coffee places he's mocking, but I'm glad that I read it and thought about it because it helped me clarify for myself at least that if I had to choose between a world where the very very best cup of coffee I could get in the world was a mere Starbucks, and a world where Donald Trump was not in power today and probably staying in power at least through 2020 and probably longer, with all the consequences that comes with that, I would not hesitate in saying that I'm fine with a slightly charred taste in my cup, thanks. (I was weened on Peets in Berkeley so I'm used to it I guess.) I'd still ask for a small instead of a tall though, because that's the kind of rebel I am, goddammit. I know, I know, its not like that was really the choice, between Donald Trump and Third Wave coffee, but sometimes that's the way it feels.
OK, that was kind of incoherent and went way further than I intended, but there you go.
posted by RandlePatrickMcMurphy at 10:38 AM on October 25, 2017 [5 favorites]
I've completely lost patience with being obsessed with getting a perfect coffee (or bar of chocolate or grilled artichoke or whatever), and especially at the self-deception that comes with calling it a "revolution". Maybe that's because - and this is going to get a little preachy - we're living at at a time when there really is a plutocratic revolution going on in this country and crazy rich fuckers are getting more and more powerful and the rest of us are paying the price. I bet that 90% of the people mentioned in this article or who works in, drinks or thinks about coffee in these terms is someone who Donald Trump would consider to be a raving Communist San Fran liberal. So I couldn't help thinking, hey, what if instead of spending your time and energy to build a perfect fucking coffee shop, why not spend some time working on health care policy, or organizing a union, or running for local office in the suburb you grew up in that used to be a little utopian experiment but is now completely controlled by loony Republicans dedicated to destroying public schools and tearing up the bike lanes. Or something. And no, buying "fair-trade" coffee doesn't count. Neither does the minimalist Facebook activism.
What does count? I don't know. I have no fucking idea, actually. That's what's so fucking terrifying, that instead of having lots of people trying to figure out what to do about the fucking crazy bad shit that's happening in DC and around the country, we're all obsessed with making a better cup of coffee, or an app that picks up our laundry or developing an algorithm that maximizes page views for cat videos. And OK, its not like I'm doing much either, TBH. Calls and letters to the Hill, getting engaged in some local stuff, talking half-seriously in my little crew of friends about which one of us might run for a local office maybe sorta if we could figure out where to get the time and money. I know this sounds like a rant against techies or millennials, or kind of coffee shop (ha) Peter Singer-ism, where every dollar you don't spend on saving dying children is a dollar that makes you a more evil person. That is not where I was thinking this little screed would end up.
Yeah, this article has some of the same preciousness and know-it-all-ness that is annoying in the coffee places he's mocking, but I'm glad that I read it and thought about it because it helped me clarify for myself at least that if I had to choose between a world where the very very best cup of coffee I could get in the world was a mere Starbucks, and a world where Donald Trump was not in power today and probably staying in power at least through 2020 and probably longer, with all the consequences that comes with that, I would not hesitate in saying that I'm fine with a slightly charred taste in my cup, thanks. (I was weened on Peets in Berkeley so I'm used to it I guess.) I'd still ask for a small instead of a tall though, because that's the kind of rebel I am, goddammit. I know, I know, its not like that was really the choice, between Donald Trump and Third Wave coffee, but sometimes that's the way it feels.
OK, that was kind of incoherent and went way further than I intended, but there you go.
posted by RandlePatrickMcMurphy at 10:38 AM on October 25, 2017 [5 favorites]
The first time I went to Ritual on Valencia, in 2006 or so, I was with a friend that had just spent months in the coffee growing regions of southern Mexico and Guatemala doing social work.
A week before she had been working with native communities organizing unions and cooperatives, in a region where paramilitaries funded by landowners, illegal resource extractors, and the government will literally poison your wells with gasoline and burn your crops for asking for a fair price for your coffee. A place with real Marxist guerillas and Jesuit revolutionaries.
Now here we are drinking $3 coffee in a place with a fucking hammer and sickle revolutionary aesthetic, with a precious mission statement about coffee consciousness and revolution.
We were laughing so hard we were shushed and asked to keep it down or take it outside.
Muddy and Muddy Waters became my go to places when I lived in the mission, once in a while I would go to Ritual or Blue Bottle, but it never felt as safe.
And regarding Philz, which I like a lot when I am in the mood, it is changing for the worst I think. The new ones are all glossy shiny surfaces, sterile and devoid of personality. The highest concentration of Info Wars and Hillary for Prison laptop stickers I've seen around San Francisco was in the Westborough Blvd. Philz, which was at the time decorated with "sexy" drawings of female superheroes.
posted by Metafilter only supports English letters in userna at 11:36 AM on October 25, 2017 [4 favorites]
A week before she had been working with native communities organizing unions and cooperatives, in a region where paramilitaries funded by landowners, illegal resource extractors, and the government will literally poison your wells with gasoline and burn your crops for asking for a fair price for your coffee. A place with real Marxist guerillas and Jesuit revolutionaries.
Now here we are drinking $3 coffee in a place with a fucking hammer and sickle revolutionary aesthetic, with a precious mission statement about coffee consciousness and revolution.
We were laughing so hard we were shushed and asked to keep it down or take it outside.
Muddy and Muddy Waters became my go to places when I lived in the mission, once in a while I would go to Ritual or Blue Bottle, but it never felt as safe.
And regarding Philz, which I like a lot when I am in the mood, it is changing for the worst I think. The new ones are all glossy shiny surfaces, sterile and devoid of personality. The highest concentration of Info Wars and Hillary for Prison laptop stickers I've seen around San Francisco was in the Westborough Blvd. Philz, which was at the time decorated with "sexy" drawings of female superheroes.
posted by Metafilter only supports English letters in userna at 11:36 AM on October 25, 2017 [4 favorites]
Also, I've heard very little about Nestle's $450 million acquisition of Blue Bottle Coffee. I would have expected more calls to boycott, but they remain as popular as ever.
Nice Silicon Valley and San Francisco Liberal cognitive dissonance going on.
posted by Metafilter only supports English letters in userna at 11:40 AM on October 25, 2017 [3 favorites]
Nice Silicon Valley and San Francisco Liberal cognitive dissonance going on.
posted by Metafilter only supports English letters in userna at 11:40 AM on October 25, 2017 [3 favorites]
I feel guilty corrupting such an immaculate creation — raining down rough sugar stones that rip through the innocent ivory froth to reveal the dirty brown liquid beneath. Mixing in my murderous sugar, shame washes over me as I watch as my milky heart sink into the murky depths below.
Please tell me this is a parody. It’s overblown enough to be on Tumblr.
posted by andraste at 1:19 PM on October 25, 2017
Please tell me this is a parody. It’s overblown enough to be on Tumblr.
posted by andraste at 1:19 PM on October 25, 2017
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posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 2:04 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]