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Chelsea Clinton = The New J.F.K. Jr. ??
May 9, 2002 9:32 AM   Subscribe

Chelsea Clinton = The New J.F.K. Jr. ?? in Vanity Fair, courtesy Page Six of the NY Post. You are no JFK. [NB LLoyd Bentsen where are you when we need you.]
posted by Voyageman (38 comments total)

 
I saw that Vanity Fair link and immediately thought of this. For what it's worth, I decided in 1993 that Chelsea was going to grow up to be a secret hottie.
posted by anildash at 10:08 AM on May 9, 2002 [1 favorite]


Well, since JFK *wasn't* JFK either...

What these imbeciles seem to think is that *any* plebian (in their sights) can rise to the rank of elite *osmotically*, if they just start hanging around with elites and parroting everything they say or do.

Ergo, we can take this ugly little duckling from a dysfunctional family of neurotic trailer trash and raise her up, with nothing more than jabbering, a rouge brush and some back issues of the 'New York Times Review of Books'; to the level of, say, Traci Spelling.

Perhaps they will offer into evidence Amy Carter, as to what will happen to Chelsea if they *don't* intervene.

As far as JFK is concerned, if his suit had been any emptier, he and his brother would have created a black hole.
posted by kablam at 10:25 AM on May 9, 2002


psht! who was jfk jr. but another rich little boy who accomplished nothing? who would want to be like him, or named the "next" him? he was a washed up cultural icon, his moment in the sun having long since passed and consisting only of that one image saluting the coffin of his daddy, without a doubt put up to and well rehearsed in that pose by others. jfk jr. as a grown up posessed all the relevance of wally and the beav as grownups.
posted by quonsar at 10:26 AM on May 9, 2002


it still blows my mind that anyone gives 1/4 of a crap about Chelsea Clinton.
posted by mcsweetie at 10:32 AM on May 9, 2002


psht! who was jfk jr. but another rich little boy who accomplished nothing?

Quonsar, you have to give the late pretty boy some credit for biting the bloodline that fed him in his lefty Mag, George.

Old boy could've kicked up his heels with family money in the Cabanas, but decided instead to cause himself trouble exercising his political conscience.
posted by Pinwheel at 10:40 AM on May 9, 2002


traci spelling?
posted by lescour at 10:56 AM on May 9, 2002


Goddam kablam!

You are going to get my ass kicked up here in Massachussets. I read your post and immediately checked to see if any of the blind followers of the Kennedy clan were around.

As you can guess I am not from MA.

All I can say about Chelsea is, I hope she is a better pilot.
posted by a3matrix at 10:57 AM on May 9, 2002


traci spelling?

I guess he means Tori Spelling
posted by matteo at 11:10 AM on May 9, 2002


Oh, that's *Tori* Spelling.

It's kinda hard to distinguish these soulless, plastic types.
posted by kablam at 11:11 AM on May 9, 2002


Keep in mind that Chelsea didn't start any of this. She's just a student who's attending school.

All the hatred should be directed not at her for existing, but at yourselves for letting Vanity Fair (chuckle) get you all riled.
posted by jragon at 11:42 AM on May 9, 2002


jragon: I like the thing about "Robert Baretta" more.
posted by raysmj at 11:58 AM on May 9, 2002


does anone else not find her the least bit attractive?
posted by o2b at 11:59 AM on May 9, 2002


It's kinda hard to distinguish these soulless, plastic types.

I don't know. Tori Spelling is kinda hot
posted by matteo at 12:04 PM on May 9, 2002


I think some of people misunderstood the posting.. page six was simply getting at the fact that Chelsea is considered a sex symbol now, much like JFK Jr was. They're tracking the "sex symbol" children of past presidents.

You really should stop to think, just for a moment that she never asked to have her father as president. If you're going to judge anyone: judge them for their actions, not their heritage.

But I really don't find Chelsea attractive (my opinion). Or at least she wasn't the last time I payed attention.

I want one of the Olsen twins parents in office so I can obsess and not be considered a pervert.
posted by shadow45 at 12:13 PM on May 9, 2002


does anone else not find her the least bit attractive?

anildash seems to. I can't think of a single other person who does.
posted by donkeyschlong at 12:17 PM on May 9, 2002


this is a girl who grew up in the public eye (from the ages of 12 to 20--and how many of us would like nationally distributed pictures of us from that time period? not me!), was made fun of for *not* being attractive, whose father got his dick sucked by a girl only a few years older than her and the whole country was talking about it, who has seen her parents trashed all over and had no control over any of it, and who through it all has shown nothing but class. and now, because she's in her 20's and straightened her hair a few times, now she's trying to be a sex symbol? hey, sounds like she's just trying to be normal. if anything, she has avoided trying to be any sort of star. i don't know her, but from what i do know, i have a great deal of respect for her.
posted by witchstone at 12:25 PM on May 9, 2002


Eh, she's attractive. No Christina Ricci, maybe, but she's cute enough.
posted by cortex at 12:29 PM on May 9, 2002


"Old boy could've kicked up his heels with family money in the Cabanas, but decided instead to cause himself trouble exercising his political conscience"...of course, that's why *they* killed him. "You really should stop to think, just for a moment that she never asked to have her father as president"...but she has used that as a doorway to hanging with the 'special people' who otherwise wouldn't have 15 seconds to spend on the little mutt.
posted by Mack Twain at 12:34 PM on May 9, 2002


does anone else not find her the least bit attractive?

I'll admit I think she's pretty but I think all women are pretty.

What's amazing to me is that we're discussing a twenty-something woman who likes hanging out with famous people and enjoys positive attention for her looks. Geez, what's tommorrow's insight; oxygen-it's good for you!
posted by jonmc at 12:37 PM on May 9, 2002


I can't wait for that wonderful day when the press realizes that I don't give a flying fuck about the Kennedys. Camelot is dead. It never even existed. And it isn't coming back. And we're all supposed to care and enshrine the paper JFK wiped his ass with. Fuck that.
posted by ao4047 at 12:39 PM on May 9, 2002


I think she has a face of a horse. But only because you asked.
posted by adampsyche at 12:40 PM on May 9, 2002


The constant whimper of needlessly randy inquiry into individuals who sprouted forth like airbrushed fungi from the presidential loins, inhabit the earth, and, for the most part, do wholly unremarkable things is nothing new. Give time half a decade and all will pass. Eventually, Chelsea will be just as forgettable as Amy Carter is today.
posted by ed at 12:45 PM on May 9, 2002


Camelot is dead. It never even existed. And it isn't coming back. And we're all supposed to care and enshrine the paper JFK wiped his ass with. Fuck that.

Hey guys, James Ellroy's on MetaFilter
posted by matteo at 1:06 PM on May 9, 2002


I think she has a face of a horse.
giddayyyyyyup! jeeves! my riding crop, please!
posted by quonsar at 1:17 PM on May 9, 2002


Yo yo yo, everyone. Chelsea may not be hot , but her new [scroll down] best friends, new look, new scene are damn hot. Forget politics, forget studies, forget her pain in the ass parents. Let's have some fun, girls. " Backstage there was the usual pandemonium and champagne. "Oh my God! I thought it was incredible!" Chelsea gushed to Donatella...." Versace, that is. She wants to be a sex symbol sooo badly. She must be so pissed she didnt make it in here.
posted by Voyageman at 1:22 PM on May 9, 2002


PS Keep in mind that Chelsea didn't start any of this. She's just a student who's attending school.
Right.
posted by Voyageman at 1:28 PM on May 9, 2002


My point was that she didn't put together the Vanity Fair article. It was not her idea, and in fact, she declined to be interviewed for the article.

But your word one response does make a compelling and thought-provoking point. Thanks.
posted by jragon at 1:49 PM on May 9, 2002


Ergo, we can take this ugly little duckling from a dysfunctional family of neurotic trailer trash ....to the level of, say, Traci Spelling.
Wow! And I thought John Derbyshire was pretty much on his own on this.
posted by justlooking at 2:02 PM on May 9, 2002


Flying lessons. Definitely.
posted by ebarker at 2:20 PM on May 9, 2002


Hey guys, James Ellroy's on MetaFilter

Ellroy elucidates eloquently, expertly, elusively elegantly, albieit entertainingly excellent excess alliteration, although the allusion is arguably allowable, admitting all the arresting aproximation of the argument.
posted by cell divide at 2:25 PM on May 9, 2002


Forget Chelsea... I'm concerned about Voyageman.
posted by G_Ask at 2:41 PM on May 9, 2002


jragon- sorry I was brief. I had intended the second post to go with the first. Rereading the Guardian story - Perhaps she didnt participate in the VF article but "she wrote a first-person article for TALK magazine, about the rough time she was having as an American at Oxford." Perhaps she remains in Tina Brown's lap, decidedly anti-VF. Re a student just attending school? "Clinton has been pictured with Kevin Spacey, the actor, at a fundraising event, has danced with Paul McCartney and dined with Bianca Jagger. She has wobbled out of the Groucho club at 3am in the company of Bono from U2." BTW I'm not riled reading VF , and I'm happy she's living it up, I'm just weakened when I read the word sexy anywhere near her.
posted by Voyageman at 2:46 PM on May 9, 2002


It's interesting that the people who dislike Chelsea, for whatever reason, are the ones who seem to have paid so much attention to her social life and fashion choices, apparently to stalker-like extremes. I couldn't tell you whom I've been pictured with, much less Chelsea Clinton.

Who is more pathetic: someone who supposedly wants to be one of People's most beautiful people, or someone who reads (or links to) People magazine?
posted by troybob at 3:38 PM on May 9, 2002


Good lords guys, she's a kid, what's the reason for all the hostility? So, the paparazzi follows her...they follow anyone that they think they can make a buck from by selling pics, stories, etc.

She seems a nice enough kid, she's obviously fairly intelligent...getting in to Oxford is no cakewalk, it's not her fault if you don't like her parents. Poor girl, no wonder she left the country to go to school, gods forbid she'd have to put up with this nonsense on a daily basis.
posted by dejah420 at 4:14 PM on May 9, 2002


"Good lords guys, she's a kid, what's the reason for all the hostility?"

That's what many said of Britney Shpears, before she annihilated their worlds!
posted by kablam at 6:00 PM on May 9, 2002


As far as JFK is concerned, if his suit had been any emptier, he and his brother would have created a black hole.

As opposed to say, Ronald Reagan, who could have been stuffed and mounted his entire presidency with no one the wiser.

Not that either comment has a damn thing to do with Chelsea Clinton.
posted by norm29 at 6:22 PM on May 9, 2002


Who is more pathetic: someone who supposedly wants to be one of People's most beautiful people, or someone who reads (or links to) People magazine? Definitely the latter, ie me.
posted by Voyageman at 7:18 PM on May 9, 2002


This entire thread makes me want to puke. What kind of Freeper-meets-Fark bullshit is this?
posted by Optamystic at 7:22 PM on May 9, 2002


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