Downtown Portland. Morale: Excellent. You may: 1. Visit a brewery...
November 6, 2017 5:11 PM Subscribe
Travel Oregon : the game is a web-based travel adventure simulation, rendered in a style which may appear historically familiar. Choose what type of traveler you are e.g. Yoga Teacher, Winemaker or Surfer, spend your $1,000 on supplies (artisanal coffee is $5 a pot, kombucha is $3), choose your region of the Beaver State, and away you go. Part of the Travel Oregon tourism website.
Dear god, whoever came up with this my hero.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:24 PM on November 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 5:24 PM on November 6, 2017 [8 favorites]
"You can't pump your own gas in Oregon. Get yelled at by an attendant."
I am dying here. And not of dystentary.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:26 PM on November 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
I am dying here. And not of dystentary.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:26 PM on November 6, 2017 [13 favorites]
I must say, it's slightly incongruous when someone in my party randomly dies, with no cause specified, in the middle of a road trip and our morale is still "Good." Is that the Oregon way?
posted by zachlipton at 5:43 PM on November 6, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by zachlipton at 5:43 PM on November 6, 2017 [14 favorites]
Update: someone else died, and now beavers stole my wheel. I have not replaced it, and we are "Morale: OK I guess."
posted by zachlipton at 5:48 PM on November 6, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by zachlipton at 5:48 PM on November 6, 2017 [11 favorites]
What happens when you try to travel east of the Cascades?
posted by elsietheeel at 6:21 PM on November 6, 2017
posted by elsietheeel at 6:21 PM on November 6, 2017
I love every boosterism-obsessed local in this game.
Morale climbed from 'good' back to 'excellent' once one of my car occupants died. Big Sal, we hardly knew ye.
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:10 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
Morale climbed from 'good' back to 'excellent' once one of my car occupants died. Big Sal, we hardly knew ye.
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:10 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
It wouldn't let me ride my bike! I am a Portland stereotype!
posted by aniola at 7:34 PM on November 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by aniola at 7:34 PM on November 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Offer Yumiko an aux cord?
"No."
Yumiko has died.
Morale: Excellent
Well, that's a bit harsh. Then beavers stole my rare bottle of beer. And in the game! I finished the loop with one passenger still living, and now I have a recipe for jellied veal, should the need ever arise.
posted by sysinfo at 7:38 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
"No."
Yumiko has died.
Morale: Excellent
Well, that's a bit harsh. Then beavers stole my rare bottle of beer. And in the game! I finished the loop with one passenger still living, and now I have a recipe for jellied veal, should the need ever arise.
posted by sysinfo at 7:38 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
I read that metafilter thread from the other day and STILL read the text message while driving :(
posted by wats at 8:04 PM on November 6, 2017
posted by wats at 8:04 PM on November 6, 2017
"Weather: Sunny and Raining."
This game is legit. It knows.
I must say, it's slightly incongruous when someone in my party randomly dies, with no cause specified, in the middle of a road trip and our morale is still "Good." Is that the Oregon way?
I mean I guess. No use getting down about it.
posted by The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg at 8:42 PM on November 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
This game is legit. It knows.
I must say, it's slightly incongruous when someone in my party randomly dies, with no cause specified, in the middle of a road trip and our morale is still "Good." Is that the Oregon way?
I mean I guess. No use getting down about it.
posted by The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg at 8:42 PM on November 6, 2017 [6 favorites]
Tyro died of wet socks and a duck stole my wheel. No FISH RESPECT for me.
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:44 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:44 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
A duck stole my gas can. What could they be building?
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:45 PM on November 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:45 PM on November 6, 2017 [5 favorites]
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
Also I just got fined all my remaining money for checking my text message. D'OH. Now I'll never get that artisinal spare tire!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:07 PM on November 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Also I just got fined all my remaining money for checking my text message. D'OH. Now I'll never get that artisinal spare tire!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:07 PM on November 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Well, that seals it. I'm never going to Oregon. Way too dangerous.
There must be dead hipsters waist high in some areas dead for lack of a cell phone cord or kombucha.
Although, how did they know I drive a Subaru?
posted by Sphinx at 10:21 PM on November 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
There must be dead hipsters waist high in some areas dead for lack of a cell phone cord or kombucha.
Although, how did they know I drive a Subaru?
posted by Sphinx at 10:21 PM on November 6, 2017 [4 favorites]
Yay - I loved the Oregon trail. This made my day.
posted by Toddles at 10:38 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Toddles at 10:38 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Screw you bartender, the time travelling grandma was totally over 21.
posted by Zalzidrax at 10:47 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Zalzidrax at 10:47 PM on November 6, 2017 [3 favorites]
On the plus side, 9999 plates of fancy cheese.
posted by aniola at 11:51 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by aniola at 11:51 PM on November 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
I am pro with a t-shirt cannon.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:23 AM on November 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:23 AM on November 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
These mini-games are nostalgically on point. Horace goes Skiing effectively redone, as I try and beat Chad of the fantastic hair's time.
posted by Wordshore at 1:00 AM on November 7, 2017
posted by Wordshore at 1:00 AM on November 7, 2017
omigod this is wonderful
"There is a campsite ahead. Do you want to stay the night?" YES
"Choose a scary story." - "Just yell really loud in an attempt to scare everyone." They know Oregon yep. "That's not a substitute for a scary story." Aww man! "The one about being crushed by student loan debt." That one. "Everyone knows that one." Awwww come on!
Jake the bartender is slammed and wants me to help check IDs. Naw man in real life Jake the bartender is slammed and IDs are never checked.
posted by fraula at 2:24 AM on November 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
Weather: Hot cocoa weatherYES
"There is a campsite ahead. Do you want to stay the night?" YES
"Choose a scary story." - "Just yell really loud in an attempt to scare everyone." They know Oregon yep. "That's not a substitute for a scary story." Aww man! "The one about being crushed by student loan debt." That one. "Everyone knows that one." Awwww come on!
Jake the bartender is slammed and wants me to help check IDs. Naw man in real life Jake the bartender is slammed and IDs are never checked.
posted by fraula at 2:24 AM on November 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
I died because I didn’t like my driver’s music!
I was sad that I didn’t make it to Southern Oregon to see family and friends this year. Now I got to go, but didn’t get to go bowling or visit a pot farm, so it didn’t feel real.
posted by MsDaniB at 7:18 AM on November 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
I was sad that I didn’t make it to Southern Oregon to see family and friends this year. Now I got to go, but didn’t get to go bowling or visit a pot farm, so it didn’t feel real.
posted by MsDaniB at 7:18 AM on November 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
Am I just stupid, or does the "book your trip" option do nothing? Am I missing the joke?
posted by eotvos at 8:28 AM on November 7, 2017
posted by eotvos at 8:28 AM on November 7, 2017
does the "book your trip" option do nothing?
If you click on the brown underlined hyperlink after selecting the option, it brings up an Expedia site to, presumably, book your Oregon vacation.
Wow. This game is terrible and yet so addicting. Morale: "Are we there yet?" Indeed.
posted by PearlRose at 9:40 AM on November 7, 2017
If you click on the brown underlined hyperlink after selecting the option, it brings up an Expedia site to, presumably, book your Oregon vacation.
Wow. This game is terrible and yet so addicting. Morale: "Are we there yet?" Indeed.
posted by PearlRose at 9:40 AM on November 7, 2017
I don't understand why Yashekia and Claire died. WTF game!
Also I got fined for unlicensed hunting but they let me keep the 80 lbs of venison in the car. So why did my passengers die? So confused.
But that was fun.
posted by suelac at 11:59 AM on November 7, 2017
Also I got fined for unlicensed hunting but they let me keep the 80 lbs of venison in the car. So why did my passengers die? So confused.
But that was fun.
posted by suelac at 11:59 AM on November 7, 2017
Help I can't tell if the craft beer names are real or not
It is literally impossible in this day and age to make up a craft beer name so ridiculous that it is implausible
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:21 PM on November 7, 2017
It is literally impossible in this day and age to make up a craft beer name so ridiculous that it is implausible
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:21 PM on November 7, 2017
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