Hola, Papi!
November 7, 2017 12:16 PM   Subscribe

 
I can attest to this description of mania as being spot on: "Obstacles that would have made you hesitate, fall uselessly to the side as you breeze right past them. Everything becomes possible as you race down the electric highways of your brain at breakneck speed. You want to buy that expensive coat? BUY IT! You want to skip work and go on a surprise vacation? BOOK IT! You want to punch God? PUNCH HIM! There are NO RULES!"

This continues with a good write up of when the depression hits. Yep, this person knows the rollercoaster.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 12:21 PM on November 7 [4 favorites]


Oh would that everyone read the cultural appropriation/You're Not a Sassy Black Woman link. Especially all of the people who you can tell watch RuPaul's Drag Race and/or Broad City.
posted by elsietheeel at 12:40 PM on November 7 [4 favorites]


Here’s Why Men Ghost


Is the answer cowardice and self-centeredness?

I'm betting the answer is cowardice and self-centeredness.
posted by darkstar at 1:24 PM on November 7


Having RTFA'd now, it appears he doesn't actually address the issue as posed in his headline.

Instead, he talks about why it hurts and how to deal with it when it happens. Which, to be fair, is the question asked in the letter sent to him, but still.
posted by darkstar at 1:28 PM on November 7 [1 favorite]


This is good
posted by latkes at 1:31 PM on November 7


Huh, just realized that the job he lost in his drive-to-Amarillo-and-jump-on-a-horse manic episode was at my old local bookstore. It make me stupidly happy to see an alum of Full Circle Books do well for themselves. Keep killing it, JP!
posted by suckerpunch at 1:32 PM on November 7 [4 favorites]


What To Do When You’re Not Like The ‘Other’ Gays plays like a best of collection of rants I have heard about this typical stage of gay male life. The empathetic "that was me once, too" is a nice cherry on top.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:36 PM on November 7 [2 favorites]


"I am not the Ta-Nehisi Coates of 'Top or Bottom?' "

Possibly his finest work.
posted by LMGM at 2:04 PM on November 7 [3 favorites]


Wow. That internalized homophobia reply was brutal.
posted by Splunge at 2:42 PM on November 7 [1 favorite]


I was literally clicked to comment specifically to post the line LMGM just did. This is great, thanks.
posted by PMdixon at 3:06 PM on November 7 [2 favorites]


I kind of just want to read this all day:
What better way to usher in Halloween season than with a column that touches on so many of our private fears? Commitment! Complicated emotions! Struggles with self-worth! OOOooOoooOOoh!

Please pretend I said all that in a spooky voice. Like a camp counselor sitting by a crackling fire, telling a ghost story with an upturned flashlight to his face. Yes, I am aware I am going to die alone.
posted by corb at 3:50 PM on November 7 [3 favorites]


Probably worth noting that the author bio mentions Grindr because the publication Into is owned by Grindr.
posted by roger ackroyd at 9:55 PM on November 7 [3 favorites]


Let’s take the “sassiness” you attribute to black women, for example. You might personally interpret it as positive, or as a source of strength. But for black women, “sassiness” means being taken less seriously, means not getting a job, or means being denied the house because they are “too loud” or “too much” or “not a good fit for the neighborhood.”

Because, at the end of the day, you can drop that persona whenever you please and wherever it is convenient. A black woman cannot. It’s contributing to a harmful stereotype without having to deal with any of the real-world repercussions of it.


Brilliant.
posted by medusa at 10:50 PM on November 7


Wow. That internalized homophobia reply was brutal.

but probably necessary. I can't speak for L's, but the amount of GBT's I've met who "only date straight guys" is concerning, if only for practical purposes

I believe your struggle is that you have been taught all your life that being gay is bad because feminine things are bad and therefore you are bad because you are gay. It’s an insidious cycle. We are taught to hate ourselves, and then we project that hate onto others who embody the traits we were socialized to reject to score cool points from people who wouldn’t like us if they knew who we really were.

There we go.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:44 AM on November 8 [1 favorite]


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