if the men find out we can shapeshift, they're going to tell the church
November 15, 2017 4:17 PM   Subscribe

 
Where may I send my wallet?
posted by Alter Cocker at 4:26 PM on November 15, 2017 [6 favorites]


I'm in stitches here.
posted by Room 101 at 4:26 PM on November 15, 2017


amazing amazing amazing

*pterodactyl screech*
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:31 PM on November 15, 2017 [16 favorites]


I don't know what I expected, but it was not "you will have to pause a 5-minute video about makeup fundamentals twice because you will not be able to stop laughing."
posted by mhoye at 4:43 PM on November 15, 2017 [13 favorites]


This is the makeup tutorial I needed in high school.
posted by invokeuse at 4:45 PM on November 15, 2017 [8 favorites]


I just discovered her yesterday via GETTING A MAN 101 (seen in the previouslies) and I love her so much.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:45 PM on November 15, 2017 [4 favorites]


She's my new favorite person.
posted by thivaia at 4:45 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


I am certain that many men love pterodactyls; possibly too much.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:46 PM on November 15, 2017 [6 favorites]


She's a genius.
posted by BlahLaLa at 5:02 PM on November 15, 2017 [4 favorites]


Look, I'm not taking an opinion on the dental work she says she can't afford, but with talent like that, she should be able to buy a Costco 5-gallon bucket of teeth if she wants.
posted by adamrice at 5:05 PM on November 15, 2017 [14 favorites]


I have no idea what's happening here but I LOLed.
posted by selfnoise at 5:21 PM on November 15, 2017


I cackled loud enough to wake my kids. Subscribed and shared.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 5:36 PM on November 15, 2017 [5 favorites]


If I had known it was this easy to turn into a different person I would have done this years ago.

*runs out to buy contouring palette*

How do I set this stuff to Beyonce?
posted by ananci at 5:41 PM on November 15, 2017 [6 favorites]


I saw a few of her other videos awhile ago. The woman is a goddamn comedic genius. Love her.
posted by floweredfish at 5:48 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Brilliant. And truly funny.
posted by njohnson23 at 6:05 PM on November 15, 2017


Holy shit this is so brilliant.
posted by rtha at 6:08 PM on November 15, 2017


oh my god, that previous video

PRIME OUR EYE-SKIN
posted by btfreek at 6:11 PM on November 15, 2017 [2 favorites]


It's all so clear now!!!

I can do bangup stage/horror makeup. But when I casually tried light contouring for a daytime use, my husband discretely called me aside and whispered that I had some dirt or something on my face. NOW I see my problem... there is no such thing as light contouring!

Brilliant.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 6:17 PM on November 15, 2017


Her commentary on thanksgiving is amazing.
posted by winna at 6:32 PM on November 15, 2017 [20 favorites]


Oh i like her. She's fucking Shakespearean!
posted by supermedusa at 6:33 PM on November 15, 2017 [2 favorites]


men love pterodactyls; possibly too much.

Am a man. Can confirm.
posted by hot_monster at 7:36 PM on November 15, 2017 [14 favorites]


This is wonderful and I'm so happy it's in my life.
posted by bunderful at 7:41 PM on November 15, 2017 [1 favorite]


Why can't she be president? We would all live better lives.
posted by eggkeeper at 8:23 PM on November 15, 2017 [19 favorites]


And I thought I was ADD.

Forget about the makeup, I am watching her for both mania lessons and Hepburn impression lessons.
posted by Samizdata at 8:57 PM on November 15, 2017 [6 favorites]


It's quarter past midnight and now I'm going to have to watch ALL her videos. And I don't know why, but the Hepburn voice makes it just so perfect.
posted by Ruki at 9:18 PM on November 15, 2017 [1 favorite]


I CAN FEEL THE BEAUTY
posted by flabdablet at 9:39 PM on November 15, 2017 [2 favorites]


ok she is a treasure

Also I too would like to wear blue lipstick on occasion

I do not currently need or want a man

Is this the signal to others I have been looking for?
posted by Hermione Granger at 9:43 PM on November 15, 2017 [11 favorites]


"Ready to take some fucking souls....and ruin some GODDAMN LIVES."

This needs to be a ringtone.

THIS WHOLE THING NEEDS TO BE A RINGTONE.
posted by offalark at 10:27 PM on November 15, 2017 [16 favorites]


Forget my computer displaying a progress bar or a spinner. It should just say "And we're blending... And we're blending..."

The best.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:31 PM on November 15, 2017 [10 favorites]


Is this the best thing I have ever watched on youtube? I think it might be.
posted by lunasol at 10:55 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


her voices remind me of Andrea Martin
which is awesome
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:55 PM on November 15, 2017 [4 favorites]


In dark times, a hero emerges from an unlikely place....
posted by shibori at 12:29 AM on November 16, 2017 [19 favorites]


My favorite is her take down of 'pick-ME!' women while trashing women who drag down other women, recursive satire of epic proportions, she deserves a MUCH wider audience.

thank you SO much for posting this, I'm frantic to binge watch more of it with my 28yr old daughter via Skype!
posted by Wilder at 1:40 AM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]


Well there's your new female Doctor Who right here. Slight midlantic accent, when she uses it, nails it for me.

Contouring is cool. Like a fez.
posted by zaixfeep at 4:09 AM on November 16, 2017 [7 favorites]


Super funny!
{pterodactyl screech}
posted by james33 at 5:03 AM on November 16, 2017


Wish she’d look right into the camera, just once.

Funny for a bit, wears thin for me on multiple views. I wonder what she’s like IRL. (Sorry to be a wet blanket, I did LOL at first.)
posted by kinnakeet at 5:50 AM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]


She's probably awesome in person. Sometimes in YouTube videos, people do what's called "acting", where they take on a different persona. It's a neat trick!
posted by palomar at 6:17 AM on November 16, 2017 [20 favorites]


A++. This is exactly what I needed this morning.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 6:17 AM on November 16, 2017 [1 favorite]


Just sent this to a co-worker in the office beside mine and enjoyed hearing the snort-chortles emanating as a result.

"Ready to take some fucking souls and ruin some goddamned lives!" is going to be my new morning mantra.
posted by angiep at 7:00 AM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]


At long last, Matt Berry may complete the Rule of Two and they shall rule the galaxy as comedic Sith geniuses.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:13 AM on November 16, 2017 [4 favorites]


Hilarious, but I had to take the precaution of watching them only in incognito mode. If YouTube's algorithm detects I have watched any kind of makeup tutorial video, it will, I know, recommend them exclusively for at least a month. I have never watched a YouTube makeup tutorial video before, yet the algorithm persistently recommends them (for all I know, on the basis of my having watched a single behind-the-scenes video on the making of John Carpenter's The Thing.)

Also, she has a cooking video that's stylistically different from the makeup ones but no less entertaining: COOKING WITH BEVERLY RAY LEWIS MARTHA STEWART.
posted by Doktor Zed at 7:36 AM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]


kinnakeet, she does look straight into the camera a bit. I was gathering a timestamp but then I pulled myself together because that's ridiculous. Anyway, you'll be happy to know your wish already came true.
posted by theatro at 7:39 AM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]


re: looking into the camera... for the first time in my entire life, I have to make videos in which I talk. These are videos I'm required to make for a class I'm taking, and in these videos I have to discuss a specific topic for 1.5 to 2 minutes. So far, not a single person in my class including myself has managed to make a video in which they make eye contact with the camera for even half of the video's duration. It's actually really hard to make continual eye contact with the camera while speaking unless you've memorized all of your lines, or you have some kind of technology that will allow you to look at the device that is filming you and have it display your lines in the manner of a teleprompter. None of the three laptop computers I have in my home will allow me to do this, nor will my phone; filming video with any of these devices means that I can't read from the Notepad app, or Word, or wherever I've written my script. The only solution I've come up with that doesn't involve me spending money I don't have on technology I only need once every couple of weeks for a 12 week segment of my life, is to print out my script and prop it up so that I can read from it while looking as close to the camera as I can. It works well enough, but as with every other student in my class, it's obvious that I'm reading from something offscreen.

Just like this lady's video.

Huh. Maybe she has limited technology at her fingertips but still wants to have fun and express herself.
posted by palomar at 8:33 AM on November 16, 2017 [1 favorite]


I am now crying laughing and have ruined the extremely-carefully-done eyeliner I applied less than an hour ago. HOW WILL I TAKE MEN'S SOULS WITHOUT MY EYELINER?!?!?
posted by erst at 9:20 AM on November 16, 2017 [5 favorites]


Holy shit, the "native warrior inspired makeup tutorial" thing is real. I had no idea.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:32 AM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]


I love her.
posted by Young Kullervo at 9:58 AM on November 16, 2017


My favorite is her take down of 'pick-ME!' women while trashing women who drag down other women, recursive satire of epic proportions, she deserves a MUCH wider audience.

thank you SO much for posting this, I'm frantic to binge watch more of it with my 28yr old daughter via Skype!


Might I suggest Rabb.it (https://rabb.it)? Despite them declining to use the term "burrow" as I suggested, it allows you to set up a room where you can share anything you can load in a browser, and it provides sharing, voice and text chat, even an optional minicam window. You can even lock the room once your guests arrive.

I don't work for them, but I live in the Midwest, and have a good buddy in Washington State and we use Rabb.it to allow us to have movie nights and watch our shows together and stuff.

I know you can use Skype, but Rabb.it is free, doesn't require anything other than a browser, and can be really fast and easy once you get used to how to use it.
posted by Samizdata at 1:00 PM on November 16, 2017 [9 favorites]


I really like her. It's actually even funnier if you watch it again at 1.5 x speed (hit the gear icon in the bottom right corner to speed up any YouTube vids- almost all funny things are much better at about 1.25%)
posted by pseudostrabismus at 2:17 PM on November 16, 2017


The ending. The ending is perfection!!!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:28 PM on November 16, 2017


I just finished doing my makeup for a rare dinner out and as I blended my contour I muttered "if the men find out we can shapeshift they're going to tell the church."

Subscribed.
posted by annathea at 3:19 PM on November 16, 2017 [15 favorites]


I sent the link to my daughter and now we are both spending our evening rolling through her back catalogue.
posted by Peach at 5:06 PM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]


Eartha Kitt as Honor Blackman in The Dowager Duchess Story
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:55 PM on November 16, 2017 [1 favorite]


The sneeze around 4:00 cracked me up for some reason.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:35 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]


She mentioned on Twitter that she is getting a shitload of representation offers now and it sounds like kind of a nightmare. Even cheekbones that can cut glass cannot deflect all creeps and frauds!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:20 AM on November 17, 2017


Wow, amazing!
posted by Salamandrous at 12:05 PM on November 17, 2017


OMG, she's also a wrestler, ala GLOW: @theSiennaSteele
posted by slipthought at 12:29 PM on November 17, 2017 [6 favorites]


I think she doesn’t look in the camera because she’s looking at herself in the camera preview screen thingie

You know the thingie on the side that sort of acts like a mirror if you turn it around

Is there a technical term for this or am I thinking of a camcorder era relic
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:15 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


She is hilarious and talented but I was expecting her to contour her face to resemble an actual pterodactyl. Slightly disappointing.
posted by AFABulous at 6:31 AM on November 18, 2017 [1 favorite]


Give this woman a TV show.
posted by uberchet at 4:45 PM on November 21, 2017


She's a wrestler and she's in the military.

About the Thanksgiving-related video: some similar takes by Native Americans (Sailor J's said she didn't know about those videos before making her own).

(I miss Brightest Bulb in the Box.)
posted by brainwane at 7:07 AM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]


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