Gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh, possibly some condiments

November 16, 2017 4:42 PM

The Greggs £24 advent calendar has 24 tear-off doors that customers can exchange for a treat in a Greggs shop - though the choice of promotional picture has raised eyebrows. However, the UK Evangelical Alliance says it is "not too outraged" about the Greggs nativity scene (contradictory quote), while a vicar from t'north is not amused. Becky Barnicoat rounds up some tweets, while Peter Ormerod argues this is not an issue to be outraged about. (First mentioned by fearfulsymmetry)
posted by Wordshore (29 comments total)

Tangentially: “Becky Barnicoat” is a name of Cumberbatchian levels of splendidness.
posted by acb at 4:55 PM on November 16, 2017 [5 favorites]

Our Lard and Savoury.

Now, to be fair, if one actually reads their Matthew, it becomes abundantly clear that the “wise men” are so named entirely sarcastically. They’re the ones who inadvertently ratted out Jesus to Herod and kickstarted the whole (ahistorical) baby-killing spree! A real bunch of shmucks. Definitely the kind of dumbasses who would accidentally worship a partially-eaten sausage roll.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:59 PM on November 16, 2017 [18 favorites]

It’s the bite out of the sausage roll that is really inappropriate. Who in their right mind would eat the flesh of Jesus? Might as well drink his blood while you’re at it!
posted by TedW at 5:31 PM on November 16, 2017 [29 favorites]

To be fair, if you encountered a human-sized, meat-filled pastry during your arduous pilgrimage across the desert, you'd probably stop for a minute to spread your arms and say, "Wow!"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:32 PM on November 16, 2017 [8 favorites]

The tweets are a scream.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:43 PM on November 16, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ah that explains why this showed up in my twitter feed yesterdcay
posted by mbo at 6:10 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

three pies men

That made my night
posted by not_the_water at 6:46 PM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mmmm sausage roll. Tastier and, dare I say, way more nutritious than the flesh of an imaginary baby.
posted by bendy at 7:04 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

Condiments — wat? On a sausage roll? That's like moar ketchup on your hotdog sandwich.
posted by scruss at 7:43 PM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

Have you guys seen my Three Kens Day display?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:30 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

OMG

"Lord Jesus, backwards, is Susejd Rol."

WAKE UP SHEEPLE
posted by lalochezia at 8:33 PM on November 16, 2017 [30 favorites]

All I said to my wife was, that sausage roll was good enough for Jehovah.
posted by flabdablet at 9:18 PM on November 16, 2017 [10 favorites]

try doing that to depict Muslim prophet & see how much tolerance you observe

Yes, you're so much more tolerant than the lunatics that attacked Charlie Hebdo. As if that's a high bar to clear. It's a wonder you haven't been canonized for your fucking tweet.
posted by axiom at 9:24 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

As a Catholic I rule sausage roll Jesus hilarious, although I get why evangelical Protestants would be upset: they take their religious paraphernalia a lot more seriously than we do.

I'd mostly be mad I spent TWENTY FOUR POUNDS on an advent calendar that didn't even have chocolates or LEGOs!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:57 PM on November 16, 2017 [6 favorites]

I imagine my evangelical Protestant dad would have been mildly disgruntled about this right enough. But I’ve always thought of paraphernalia as much more of a Catholic thing. What with the robes and incense and relics and things.

Anyway, Greggs festive bakes are the best.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 11:16 PM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

Yeah, the conservative, gimme-that-old-time-religion-flavored Methodist and Baptist churches I grew up in saved up all their idolatry for the year and blew the whole wad between Advent and Epiphany.

(And even then, we were always afraid our classmates at Baptist parochial school would figure out which house was ours, because they'd realize we put up Christmas lights and had a lighted tree in the window, and you can't have idolatry without a tree, and Google Voice keeps trying to turn “idolatry” into “Dollar Tree,” which is a chain of dollar stores.)

Anyway, back to Advent calendars. I was an adult before I realized that kids from other religious traditions got candy or toys or prizes in their Advent calendars instead of just a cheerful little message about how it was one day closer to Christmas, and maybe a picture of a mouse sweeping the hearth or something like that.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:47 PM on November 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

Greggs the baker’s portrayal of Jesus as a sausage roll echoes the Gospel of John.
posted by Wordshore at 12:51 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

Note Dr M J C Warren in Wordshore's link is actually the relevant expert here, as she is the author of 'My Flesh is Meat Indeed: A Nonsacramental Reading of John 6:51–58' (Fortress Press, 2015).

She is so ticking the public engagement KPIs this season.
posted by hawthorne at 3:25 AM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'd mostly be mad I spent TWENTY FOUR POUNDS on an advent calendar that didn't even have chocolates or LEGOs!

not necessarily.
posted by mr vino at 5:14 AM on November 17, 2017

£24 for 24 windows is a fair bit better than 12 windows for £50 (sweary review from a poundshop Ricky Gervais, which is appropriate and hilarious in this context).
posted by ambrosen at 6:19 AM on November 17, 2017

I wasn’t that impressed by Gregg’s. Chelo’s all the way!
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:26 AM on November 17, 2017

I bought myself the Bonne Maman jam advent calendar this year and December can't come soon enough.
posted by padraigin at 10:35 AM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

Chelo’s all the way!

WTF is a Grille?

Also, your name has been added to the UK Border Agency's watch list.
posted by biffa at 10:45 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

It's not on sale until Monday.
I've waited so long for a savoury advent calendar. It's like all my Christmas's have come at once, except the opposite of that because of how a advent calendar works.
posted by eyeofthetiger at 11:58 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

Greggs' nativity Jesus should have been a steak bake, says archbishop
posted by Wordshore at 12:36 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

Who in their right mind would eat the flesh of Jesus? Might as well drink his blood while you’re at it!

Take; eat. This is my body, which is given for you, and the roll it was baked in.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:47 PM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]

WTF is a Grille?
Also, your name has been added to the UK Border Agency's watch list.

The early colonists really missed their chance to call it New and Improved England.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 12:50 PM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]

I don't understand the "gotcha - you wouldn't dare offend Muslims this way!"... They replaced one of Islam's most important prophets with a pork product. The sausage roll scene is kind of nonsensical in a Christian context but for Muslims I imagine it's pretty gross.
posted by askmeaboutboardgames at 8:32 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yeah, also, people who are saying that the Greggs ad is blasphemous are forgetting the Ann Summers ad from a few Christmas's ago which ... yeah you probably don't want to watch this at work.
posted by Wordshore at 5:41 PM on November 20, 2017