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November 23, 2017 4:12 PM Subscribe
Why am I giving you my email address?
Why am I giving you my friend's email address?
posted by fredludd at 4:18 PM on November 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
Why am I giving you my friend's email address?
posted by fredludd at 4:18 PM on November 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
Why am I giving you my email address?
Why am I giving you my friend's email address?
Only Instant Monkeys Online knows.
posted by Fizz at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Why am I giving you my friend's email address?
Only Instant Monkeys Online knows.
posted by Fizz at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
A cute chap, popular with the ladies? You are too kind.
posted by valkane at 4:28 PM on November 23, 2017
posted by valkane at 4:28 PM on November 23, 2017
Well, someone named Joe at mama.com is getting a Classic Monkey tonight, I can tell you that.
posted by gubo at 4:54 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by gubo at 4:54 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm sticking with MailChimp.
posted by davebush at 4:54 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by davebush at 4:54 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
They have the classiest banner ads!Must be tradition, or an old charter, or something...
posted by prismatic7 at 5:30 PM on November 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
I've always wanted a monkey.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:31 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Literaryhero at 5:31 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Somebody's been watching the Turkey Day marathon.
posted by SansPoint at 5:37 PM on November 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 5:37 PM on November 23, 2017 [7 favorites]
Somebody's been watching the Turkey Day marathon.
;-)
posted by Fizz at 6:03 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
;-)
posted by Fizz at 6:03 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Not to be cranky about absolutely EVERYthing, but Google Images will supply you with about thirteen squadrillion pictures of monkeys without asking for your email address. (They've almost certainly got it anyway, but that's not the point.)
posted by Sing Or Swim at 6:28 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 6:28 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
but Google Images will supply you with about thirteen squadrillion pictures of monkeys without asking for your email address
Non-licensed online monkeys. I'd be cautious.
posted by Fizz at 6:44 PM on November 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Non-licensed online monkeys. I'd be cautious.
posted by Fizz at 6:44 PM on November 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
Non-licensed online monkeys. I'd be cautious.
You wouldn't download a monkey. Piracy, it's a crime.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:19 PM on November 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
You wouldn't download a monkey. Piracy, it's a crime.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:19 PM on November 23, 2017 [9 favorites]
Primate-cy
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
More and more, I'm feeling old and confused.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:40 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:40 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Okay, it's an mst3k reference.
I google so you don't have to.
posted by yhbc at 8:26 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I google so you don't have to.
posted by yhbc at 8:26 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Heh, I tried to just submit without filling out and fields and it gave me a minimalist error page that said "Error. What kind of freaky fuck email is that, you GERM!"
posted by numaner at 8:28 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by numaner at 8:28 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
They have the classiest banner ads!
Not bananner ads?
posted by aubilenon at 8:45 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Not bananner ads?
posted by aubilenon at 8:45 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Message I got from just going straight to the cgi was:
Error. Damn your eyes. Wrong monkey you will all pay i kill yuew,rwe;o.......
posted by dragoon at 8:53 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Error. Damn your eyes. Wrong monkey you will all pay i kill yuew,rwe;o.......
posted by dragoon at 8:53 PM on November 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Just to fill everyone in, Fizz got the idea to post it while we were all watching the Turkey Day marathon in the MST Club cytu.be room. We provided inappropriate encouragement, but it was Fizz's idea, him, not us, him I tell you. (pointing fingers insistently)
posted by JHarris at 9:02 PM on November 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 9:02 PM on November 23, 2017 [5 favorites]
My cousin had a monkey. But this was back when cousins had monkeys.
posted by pracowity at 11:26 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 11:26 PM on November 23, 2017 [2 favorites]
Act now! I will share high quality monkey facts and photos, and I will demand no email addresses.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:02 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 7:02 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I guess just ask!
posted by ChuraChura at 7:59 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 7:59 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
ChuraChura, I would sign up for your monkey facts newsletter (if it were free -- I'm fairly poor). But for now, are you good for free facts?
What about monkeys in North America c. 1970?
What about monkeys in North America c. 1970?
- My cousin offered to take the class monkey home from school over the summer. This was the Niagara Fall, NY, area. I doubt there were different monkeys popular in different areas, but what do I know? I just vaguely remember (it was the late 1960s or early 1970s and I was young) a monkey in a cage in their back room. Was it common for an American high school class (or maybe a junior high school class) to have a monkey? What sort of monkey would it likely have been?
- Also back in those ancient times (late 1960s/early 1970s) in a department store in southern Ontario (maybe St. Catherines?), they had a pet section, and there was a monkey. There must have been no safe distance between monkey cage and shoppers, because I was able to encourage my little brother to let the grabby little monkey hands grab my brother's fingers. Next thing we knew, the monkey's teeth had clamped down on my brother's finger, there was blood, and we were being whisked away somewhere. I remember a doctor (or maybe a "doctor" in those monkey-infested days) giving my monkey-bitten little brother a big injection. My poor brother was not happy. What sort of monkey do you think bit my brother and made him the man he is today? Did Canada get different monkeys or were they all from the same mail-order monkey warehouse?
- With all those poorly regulated monkey purchases, were there populations of escaped or released pet monkeys living independently in warmer parts of the continent? How were they handled? Were they allowed to go their own way or were they eliminated?
Well, Pracowity! Let me see what I can do. I don't know a huge amount about captive primates, but these are my best hypotheses. And, of course, I should preface this with the caveat that primates are not good pets.
1. I don't think it was common for classes to have pet monkeys. Even when it was possible to get a pet monkey relatively easily, they were pretty expensive. I would guess that it was a capuchin, squirrel monkey, or maybe a marmoset or tamarin of some sort.
2. Oh dear. Poor brother, and poor monkey. Again, I'd guess it was a capuchin monkey ("organ grinder monkeys"), squirrel monkey, marmoset, or tamarin. They're all South American monkeys, so easier to get than African or Asian monkeys, and they tend to be the easiest to find for sale, even now. Capuchins and squirrel monkeys tend to be the ones in movies; marmosets and tamarins are tiny. Rabies is definitely an option. I would guess that the monkey supply chains were pretty similar coming into the US and Canada as far as captive-bred primates but that might not have been the case for wild-born guys.
3. There are! So every now and then, you get news of escaped monkeys being seen in weird places (there was a howler monkey that was living in a park in Ohio near me for a bit, but he probably died over the winter. But Florida actually has a colony of vervet monkeys roaming free since the 1950s after they were released from a shifty zoo in the 1950s, and a bunch of squirrel monkeys and rhesus macaques. There are also non-native monkey populations in the Carribean, most notably vervet monkeys in St. Kitts and Nevis, mona monkeys in Grenada, and rhesus macaques in Puerto Rico.
Incidentally, there were primates native to North America - the adapids and omomyids ranged all across the continent, even as far up as north of the Arctic Circle on Ellesmere Island! During the Eocene, there was a functioning, diverse tropical rainforest NORTH OF THE ARCTIC CIRCLE! Like, with periods of continuous darkness! Full of primates and early hippos and stuff!!!! But they all went extinct as the climate changed after the Eocene, alas.
posted by ChuraChura at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
1. I don't think it was common for classes to have pet monkeys. Even when it was possible to get a pet monkey relatively easily, they were pretty expensive. I would guess that it was a capuchin, squirrel monkey, or maybe a marmoset or tamarin of some sort.
2. Oh dear. Poor brother, and poor monkey. Again, I'd guess it was a capuchin monkey ("organ grinder monkeys"), squirrel monkey, marmoset, or tamarin. They're all South American monkeys, so easier to get than African or Asian monkeys, and they tend to be the easiest to find for sale, even now. Capuchins and squirrel monkeys tend to be the ones in movies; marmosets and tamarins are tiny. Rabies is definitely an option. I would guess that the monkey supply chains were pretty similar coming into the US and Canada as far as captive-bred primates but that might not have been the case for wild-born guys.
3. There are! So every now and then, you get news of escaped monkeys being seen in weird places (there was a howler monkey that was living in a park in Ohio near me for a bit, but he probably died over the winter. But Florida actually has a colony of vervet monkeys roaming free since the 1950s after they were released from a shifty zoo in the 1950s, and a bunch of squirrel monkeys and rhesus macaques. There are also non-native monkey populations in the Carribean, most notably vervet monkeys in St. Kitts and Nevis, mona monkeys in Grenada, and rhesus macaques in Puerto Rico.
Incidentally, there were primates native to North America - the adapids and omomyids ranged all across the continent, even as far up as north of the Arctic Circle on Ellesmere Island! During the Eocene, there was a functioning, diverse tropical rainforest NORTH OF THE ARCTIC CIRCLE! Like, with periods of continuous darkness! Full of primates and early hippos and stuff!!!! But they all went extinct as the climate changed after the Eocene, alas.
posted by ChuraChura at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
Pracowity's questions reminded me of an old Metafilter thread where someone was trying to figure out if their fragmentary memories of going to pre-school with monkeys in the class was in fact true. It was a university day-care program from a university that did study human and primate development so not as crazy as you might think. Truly monkey-infested days!
posted by tavella at 10:16 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by tavella at 10:16 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Full of primates and early hippos and stuff!!!!
I'm going to slightly derail and use this an excuse to plug the following alternate history book: [Barnes and Nobles Blog]
I'm going to slightly derail and use this an excuse to plug the following alternate history book: [Barnes and Nobles Blog]
““Alternate history hippo western” isn’t a phrase you’re going to bust out every day, but there’s no denying its power. It says so much in four words. For many writers, a story classified as such could probably get off the ground based on the sheer novelty of the premise (which is, like the best one, based on historical fact)—what if the United States government imported hippos to farm as meat in the late 1800s, and the whole operation went south?posted by Fizz at 10:58 AM on November 24, 2017
But Sarah Gailey is not like other writers. In River of Teeth, her debut novella, what could have been a relatively entertaining romp through the swamps of what might have been—where hippopotami breed unchecked, ravaging the southeastern U.S.—is instead an adrenaline-charged, violent, often romantic story about building a life for yourself, trying to outpace your past, and hanging onto the things that bring you joy, even when they also deliver pain.”
I spent yesterday splitting my time between the MST3K Turkey Day and DesertBus (which raised $650K, the first time it DIDN'T exceed the previous year's total, but not bad anyway). But I thought this post was mostly related to DB, noting Literaryhero's comment, which referenced Barenaked Ladies' "If I Had $1,000,000". Because a very noticeable feature on that 'thon was frequent 'sing-along medleys', bouncing among dozens of oldies, oddities & TV themes, but ALWAYS including certain songs: Toto's "Africa", Oasis' "Wonderwall", Smashmouth's "All Star" and BNK's "$1,000,000". That one was particularly notable since most of the assembled dozen-plus people in the studio successfully sang along with all 197 lines of the lyric, which either meant they all had them memorized or the Engineering Department got them all on a teleprompter.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:07 PM on November 24, 2017
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:07 PM on November 24, 2017
Monkey facts!
posted by pracowity at 2:07 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by pracowity at 2:07 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I did promise. I'm happy to supply anyone else with artisanal monkey facts as requested.
posted by ChuraChura at 2:31 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 2:31 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I love that this extremely injokey post is now at over 30 comments.
Rabies is definitely an option.
~ 2020 Ballot Page 1 ~
FOR PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES, choose ONE:
[ ] Donald J. Trump
[ ] Rabies
(Thinks very hard.)
posted by JHarris at 3:10 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Rabies is definitely an option.
~ 2020 Ballot Page 1 ~
FOR PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES, choose ONE:
[ ] Donald J. Trump
[ ] Rabies
(Thinks very hard.)
posted by JHarris at 3:10 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm happy to supply anyone else with artisanal monkey facts as requested.
I've just decided that the name of my next sockpuppet will be "curated monkey facts".
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:13 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I've just decided that the name of my next sockpuppet will be "curated monkey facts".
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:13 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by JHarris at 4:14 PM on November 23, 2017 [7 favorites]